Forum Replies Created
GH an TRT, you should get together. A lot to discuss about these rallies.
Actually, I answered the OPs question directly, while still respecting the way others spend their time.
While gadolhadora has watched enough of Trumps rallies to know all his lines and even get familiar with the attendees and their attire, typically Frum people find watching a trump rally to be a total waste of time.
Yes there is a big Syrian community
If there is no “food” on the table a husband is responsible to quit kollel and make it happen. A son should not choose to join Kollel with and leave his parents no choice but to support him. It should be a discussion. If there is food into the table I don’t see the issue.
Because that would be very strange. You can’t get skinnier without losing weight.
In terms of fulfilling the mitzva of Talmud Torah, sure.
The people who value Torah learning are not interested in watching people learning on the news. They were probably themselves learning then. Parenthetically, I was involved in a “learn a thon” that night and my wife enjoyed watching the live stream.
I think the UJM approach is the “problem.” Hashem creates every individual with varying ability. To paraphrase YO, the gifted are yechide segula. Even those who learn seriously, usually will not fully understand let alone remember what they’ve learned. (I’m sure with more effort we would have more serious learners but even still, a minority). But with the push nowadays for every individual to learn Torah (which is truly amazing) a great value has been placed on the quantity and the quality has become less important. In truth though, I think there are a large number of real Talmide Chachamim, and the fact that there are so many “not serious” learners just means the Rabbis are doing a good job at spreading Torah to the masses. A great alternative to leaving the Torah to yechidim and everyone else remaining ame haaretz.
Shiduchim does require hishtadlut
I find it sad the Mr Klein did a great job of answering the question and you are all doing the exact opposite. Arguing over “Eretz” or “Medinat.” Talking down on other Jews because they are “Zionists” or “Anti Zionists.” Calling each other out for misrepresenting the truth. Denying that The tragedies even have anything to do with us and our actions, but rather Hashems plan. These past 15 posts should be an eye opening example as to why we are suffering as a nation. We are living in 5782. Every Jew reading this has an obligation to go ask their Rabbi “How should I feel about the Zionist who does tremendous things for Am Yisrael?” “How should I feel about the ultra orthodox who rejects Medinat Yisrael?” “Should I love him as a fellow Jew even though we disagree? Or should I speak negatively about him and make sure everyone knows that he doesn’t represent the true Jew?” This right here in this thread is exactly the type of sinat hinam that the Rabbis talk about. WAKE UP. If you think that shambling Zionism or Anti Zionism is going to bring the geula you are forgetting the great principal of Ribi Akiva.
Very often in halacha poskim will come to a crossroad of opinions without any clear direction of how to conclude the Halacha and the solution is to see what people are doing and establish Halacha accordingly. As well, often there is a particular “minhag” which the poskim try to understand how it developed despite being halchically questionable. When a large community of people is doing something questionable the first option is to be melamed zechut and see if there is any way to justify the minhag within Halacha (even though the posek might not agree to it lechatehila).
In the case at hand there really is only one nafka mina; whether or not these people are considered Jewish. If a posek learned the sugya and came out clear a certain way with no room for an alternative understanding, I understand why he is posek that way. If it isn’t clear, or there are multiple psakim of equal weight, I would imagine in this case they would be mekel. Although, I am not a posek…
If you measure responsibilities by number of missvot the answer is clear. Otherwise, while it may be nice to know, Baruch Hashem both men and women have plenty of responsibilities to keep them both occupied constantly. Usually we don’t count our rights in Judaism.
I once heard from Rabbi Akiva Tatz that marriage is not a division of responsibilities, it is two people coming together to do everything they can to help the other. Definitely something to strive for.
Puk cha-zeh mai ama davar…
I am not a posek. Halacha is not always clear cut. When a posek is faced with an ambiguous Halacha and one way will make thousands mechalel Shabbat and the other will make them in line with Halacha, a Talmud Chacham who cares about am yisrael should choose the latter. How often do we see the mishna berura quote a minhag and working hard to justify it within halacha.
UJM, don’t be so quick to write people off during this time of year. There is nothing heroic about drastic statements. If there was ever a time to be posek Halacha l’kaf zechut it’s now. Koah D’hetera Adif. There are other opinions.
Also, there is a reason kiruv Rabbis are louder than the cut throat opinions publicly. Im sure you can figure it out.
The big IF.
All I’m asking is to look at the big picture, how have we benefitted. That’s the way Hakarat Hatov works. Looking at the details you’ll find a reason not to thank anyone. “G-d created me, of course he should provide for me.” This thread is not about what we think about Netanyahu, it’s about owing him gratitude. Failing to recognize the good people do is another form of sinat hinam.
Unfortunately religious Jews today are too righteous to take on necessary roles. If not for hilonim, who will protect the state of israel? Who will run the country? Withought getting into what’s ideal, looking at the current state of am yisrael, with all of its segments, we can see clearly how each type of Jew plays a vital role in protecting Am Yisrael, ensuring it’s ability to flourish into the future. I’m talking about from hilonim to haredim and from reform to ultra orthodox. Look at the people who come to the defense of Jews on a daily basis, for the army to watch groups, to social media personalities. How we relate to other types of Jews in our personal lives aside, people like Netanyahu are certainly heroes of am yisrael, and ultimately contributors on a high level to the advancement of Torah.
In general, the republican hashkafa is more aligned with Jewish values. Of course, when you start getting too specific both sides have their issues. This requires looking at the bigger picture. Whose US do we want are children to live in, the Republican US or the Democrat US. I think the answer is obvious.
Average woman eats one slice. Average man eats two slices. I’ve never seen anyone eat pizza as a snack. Regardless, I don’t see how you can call pizza stuffed, it’s dough with a topping, certainly not pat haba bikisnin. If the dough is just flour and water it should be hamotzi even for one bite. Everyone follow your Rabbi.April 8, 2022 12:12 am at 12:12 am in reply to: I took the 2 shots & 1 booster should i take the next one ? #2076863
It isn’t really so beneficial but it won’t really hurt. I’d say nothing to lose but not really necessary. But I’m not a doctor. Ask your doctor. Parenthetically, I assume everyone here understands the concept of emuna and that these types of discussions are regarding the proper hishtadlut one should perform. No need to point out it’s all up to Hashem which is, of coarse, a given.
Yes, bringing the kalla to the men’s section is more seniut. What is the idea behind this mitzva dance?
Obviously, people should be considerate and teach their children the same. Children who do not understand the concept of being considerate should not be present at the megila reading. Every word must be heard, Purim is fun, but it’s not a joke. These things are obvious and should not have to be said at all. Of course, the Baal Kore should recognize when people are making loud noises and pause and repeat any words that may have been missed. Again, common sense to anyone who knows that you have to hear every word.
There is a Mitzva of Hocheach Tochiach. “Rabbi, didn’t you teach us…” I have seen Rabanim conduct themselves contrary to Halacha on ocassion. Rabbis who “pasken” that getting stone drunk in a manner clearly against Halacha is ok should be confronted In the manner set forth by Chachamim. Unfortunately there are many minhagim that are observed which are entirely against Halacha and common sense. That doesn’t make them right.
It seems that the purpose of your post is to try and understanding why people might do this. I can offer you a potential reason but it’s hard to say when I am not there. I’d say they obviously don’t have enough people to talk to in their lives and need that extra attention. Generally people don’t do things like that (and ignore normal social behavior) unless they have some kind of (even subconscious) need.
That being said. It seems like you are handling the situation properly. I would say a healthy dose of favorable judgement might help to keep you calm and let it go a bit more easily.January 24, 2022 4:31 pm at 4:31 pm in reply to: What Steps Will the Charedi World Take to Try to Prevent Abuse #2054289
Thank you UJM for restating my response in other words.
In truth, though, you have added nothing, because, “following the Torah” is a given. If you came here today with the grand Hidush of “follow the Torah” I applaud your sincerity but encourage you to seek further the root of the issue. Following the Torah is far too general and will likely get you no where.
Can’t they have their sessions recorded or at least have a live feed which the secretary can watch but not hear?January 23, 2022 9:27 pm at 9:27 pm in reply to: What Steps Will the Charedi World Take to Try to Prevent Abuse #2053939
I actually answered the question directly. Because that is the only answer. When dealing with abusers, they must be penalized. When dealing with accusers, they must be educated about the effects of their accusations. After all, all they did is spread a rumor. It is a grave sin, don’t misunderstand me. But a lav she’en bo maase nonetheless. As per the accused, well, it’s up to the people close to them who love them to give them guidance. I think that is obvious.
I would like to hear your suggested answer to your question.
Thank you Syag. Let’s hear what he has to say to answer his own question.
Of coarse every action we do must be leshem shamayim. That being said, a person who speaks about a material pleasure should not have to put out a disclaimer every time, “I am a foodie (but only leshem shamayim).” Im a big fan of mussar, but sometimes it’s a bit too much.January 23, 2022 3:37 pm at 3:37 pm in reply to: What Steps Will the Charedi World Take to Try to Prevent Abuse #2053776
UJM. Shechiach means common. The issue you presented is uncommon and therefore not being addressed specifically. In plain English.
The larger issue that you are referring to is lashon hara, which is widely addressed.
If you want to know what happens after the lashon hara is spoken. Well we need to learn more about lashon hara.
Bored. If you find conversing in a ywn chat room amusing imagine what the excitement of a sports game can do. Regardless, in and of itself sports are a waste of time but they can serve a great number of purposes. Especially once we get into the world of “if not this then what?” Sports can be considered a great alternative to a lot of things that men are often involved in. It could be that some men enjoy watching a game or being involved in fantasy football the same way others enjoy eating a steak, simply because it’s enjoyable. Both of those things are problematic. But, I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt and assume they are following sports as an alternative.January 22, 2022 11:50 pm at 11:50 pm in reply to: What Steps Will the Charedi World Take to Try to Prevent Abuse #2053509
UJM. False accusations is not nearly as big of a problem as actual abusers. From time to time there may be a story but for a person falsely abused to take such drastic measures? I would not call that shechiach in comparison to the real issue at hand. If you think I am wrong please enlighten me. But, to answer your question, every shiur given on Lashon Hara and Motze Shem Ra is essentially what we do to ensure that does not happen. There are an infiniti number of “accusations” people can “accuse” others of. Falsely accusing someone or talking about someone who was falsely accused are just two examples.
Math and science, while widely considered “secular” actually are forms of Hochma that bring us closer to bore Olam. These subjects serve as foundations to higher learning and difficult concepts in Torah. History is also very important. Of course there is always pesolet with the ochel, which is ok. But sometimes topics within these subjects are taught that really aren’t shayach at all which could be problematic. People with yirat shamayim should at least be reviewing the curriculum. Saying that “Torah” itself is the only Hochma worth pursuing is not a middle ground hashkafa. People who are against learning subjects like math and science are usually also against learning Hebrew, or learning Torah subjects in Hebrew (as opposed to in English or Yiddish) for that matter, which makes absolutely no sense. My understanding is that the reason for the extremity is twofold, because this method will have a higher likelihood of continuity within Judaism (which of course is something every Jew wants), and secondly because they don’t value (or don’t recognize the value of) these topics as Hochma for the sake of Torah but rather view them as secular. Just my opinion…January 14, 2022 12:37 pm at 12:37 pm in reply to: What Steps Will the Charedi World Take to Try to Prevent Abuse #2051270
Besalel- that the abuser is to blame goes without saying. Strange that you are offended that didn’t mention something so obvious.
I never mentioned blame, I said “responsible”. The point of this post was to explore what can be done moving forward to prevent this from happening. The first and best line of defense to protect children is their own parents. As a side, a Frum therapist should create safeguards for him/herself so as not to fall into this trap.
My brother in law does testing in Brooklyn. Send your number and I will pass it on.January 12, 2022 2:16 pm at 2:16 pm in reply to: What Steps Will the Charedi World Take to Try to Prevent Abuse #2050671
“The charedi community” are the least responsible. The responsibility lies first on the parents of the victims. Any “Frum” therapist with this type of yesser hara should create safeguards for themselves not to run into this mess. My assumption is that guilty Frum therapists don’t want to do these things but they can not avoid the temptation. But my opinion is that the parents really need to know better and not just ship their kids off and hope for the best. We’ve now learned a big lesson that you can never assume your kids “are in good hands” regardless of the therapists reputation. You need to be involved.
The defense of BLM and the woke initiatives that stem from the BLM mindset is the greatest threat to democracy that exists in this country.
Do what your parents did. Or wtvr your rabbi said to do. Or wtvr you want. Anyone who judges your Shabbat greeting is just grumpy.
As for the question, I prefer Shabbat Shalom.
Musar has a time and place. I very much hope that this post will inspire the encouragement of seniut and at the same type hope that you use your zealousness for a platform that will bear more fruits for your labor.
This topic mostly bothers those who struggle with it most. It’s a given that people need to set their own personal safeguards for whatever they struggle with. In this particular example spreading awareness and education may help in general, but a rant on YWN wont do anything to help. If a true yere shamayim knows the yesser hara is waiting for him at every red light he would avoid red lights. It’s often those who are incredibly makpid and the most concerned about keeping a Halacha that struggle with it the most. If those efforts were focused inwards instead of outwards a lot more would be accomplished.
While it is always great to have others to speak to who relate to your situation, I think every individual is capable of coping with their nisyonot through limud Torah and mussar. Every Jew struggles with something, the yetzer hara makes sure of it. Some can discuss it with others and others can not. One thing is for sure, Hashem won’t send you a nisyon you can’t handle. “They aren’t going through what I am going through” is a common sentiment, albeit mostly to oneself, that in many circumstances prevents us from accepting that our nisayonot are analogous to almost anyone else’s in its own way. I hope that Hashem sends you someone who can can truly relate to and alleviate that feeling that caused you to post here. But please also know that, if Hashem knows what Hes doing, you already have the tools you need to accomplish just that. Hasslaha raba!
AAQ which is why I prefaced that I don’t know exactly what these cases were. But in terms of the idea of “sending daughters to a male therapist” parents should be in tune with what’s going on, except for certain circumstances which they can’t be.
Quay- see the new article by zvi Gluck.
With any profession comes the potential to transgress Halacha in some way. Every individual is responsible to conduct themselves in accordance with Halacha and set their own personal safeguards in whatever they choose to do.
Therapists are not exempt from the laws of yichud. Without knowing the specifics of these particular cases, I would expect parents of girls going to male therapists or anywhere for that matter to be more aware of what their daughter is/was doing. Certainly someone with this nisayon should avoid being in this situation. The facts of this case seem pretty black and white. Even still it is a sensitive topic and needs to be addressed (when necessary) as such. “Maybe it’s not true” simply will not cut it for those struggling to understand “how could something like this happen?” Whether it be this case or others things like this do happen and effort should be taken to reach out to professionals and understand for yourself and learn how to walk others through this reality.
I don’t see any valid reason why his name would be brought up unless it is something that is really bothering you and you need to discuss it with someone or for hinuch purposes (you know your children are aware of what happened etc). And if it’s just to teach others because it’s important to share the experience no names are necessary. Just bringing it up saying, “hey, did you hear about so and so..” just to talk about it isn’t very productive. Whether to publish it on a news site… I have an opinion but I’m not really sure honestly.
I agree. My opinion was formed based on my experience with my own children (whose teachers were mostly young btw) who are really moser nefesh for their students. I imagine that teachers usually do not do it for the money…. But some other here feel like some young people just need something to do so they become teachers. I don’t see the draw but who knows..
Good teachers are not fungible. Many teachers give their lives to their students and work 24/7. The education they give to our children, including the love for Torah and Missvot, is priceless. I can’t say for sure because I don’t really know how much they are paid, but from what I’ve heard it isn’t enough to sustain a decent living standards. Salaries should not be subsidized, but organizations that provide rabbanim and morot with what will help lighten their burden out of sincere appreciation and immense gratitude each and every parent should have are truly doing a huge Chesed to the teachers and the parents who can now show that appreciation by giving to these causes.
The more you talk the more you speak lashon hara. See perush harambam on pirke avot. I have no close if this thread is about something specific. All I know is that talking about people usually means you have too much time on your hands.
The reality is that democrats (“liberals”) believe their ideology is above the law. What makes sense to them is correct regardless it being illegal. They will tell you that openly and call the offenders hero’s publicly. If in fact the percentage of tax evaders are Republicans, they know they are doing something wrong. After getting caught they won’t say, “well taxes are theft” and no republican will publicly come to their defense.
No, you should never presumably assume the opinion of sadikim, especially on such an issue like this one.