WolfishMusings

The coffeeroom should put a “TV” mark under the screennames of posters with televisions, so others know where their non-Torah views on Jewish issues come from.

Cool… let’s see what else

CS – For those that eat Cholov Stam

CSh – For those that wear colored shirts

MO – For those that are Modern Orthodox

IN – For those that have the internet (oh, wait…)

GP – For those that say “Good Shabbos” to people of the opposite sex.

PH – For those who waste time with hobbies such as photography instead of learning Torah every possible moment.

NS – For those who got married outside the shidduch system.

JS – For those who wear jeans and/or sneakers

NY – For those who don’t speak or understand Yiddish

WO – For those who work for a living and don’t learn full time.

NHC – For those women who don’t cover their hair while alone in the house and while sleeping.

HNHC – For the husbands of the above women.

NOH – For those who don’t have Olam Habah.

NC – For those who don’t adopt every single chumra that becomes fashionable.

The Wolf (TV, CS, CSh, IN, GP, PH, NS, JS, NY, WO, HNHC, NOH, NC)

No Wolf, but it would be a tragedy for him to wrongly judge someone.

Firstly, I don’t believe that stating that someone is factually wrong about something is “wrongly judging” them. Judging usually involves a moral or values judgment. If I state that Herbert Hoover was the first president of the US and someone points out that I’m wrong, they aren’t making any moral or value judgments — they’re simply stating that I am incorrect in my factual statement.

Secondly, if I really am wrong, then there’s really no tragedy, is there?

The Wolf

After reading these posts, all I can say is that Eeees and I are truly, truly blessed. I always got along fantastic with my in-laws* and she always got along with my parents and my stepmother.

Not once in our near-twenty years of marriage has there been any friction between Eeees and my parents or myself and my in-laws. I only hope and pray that this continues onward forever.

The Wolf

* Interestingly, the first time I met my father-in-law-to-be was when he was sitting shiva for his father. I guess I sufficiently impressed him enough that night. I’m told that that night he told Eeees that he approves of me. 🙂

I think girls should open the car door for their dates.

And I also think healthy non-pregnant girls should give up their seats on the bus/subway for (same age) guys, as a matter of courtesy and mentchlichkeit.

I disagree. I think anyone should give up their seat for anyone else who needs it more (i.e. pregnancy, age, burdens, etc.) regardless of gender (although, I suppose, in the case of pregnancy, it has to be gender-based). I don’t think a healthy BY girl should give up her seat for a yeshiva bochur (all other things being equal), nor do I think the reverse should happen as well.

Of course, if a person wants to, they are free to give up their seats to whomever they want.

The Wolf

in New York the subways have seats

No, the trains that run in the subway have seats. The subways themselves (i.e. the tunnels) do not have seats.

The Wolf

WolfishMusings: I’m reading your comment as being equal both ways, unlike most others.

And I’m reading your OP that it’s assur for a man to hold a door for his wife/date even if it’s equal.

The Wolf

And a Yid should definitely not be “romancing” someone he isn’t married (or at least engaged) to.

Heck, at least you’re better than some posters who say that a man shouldn’t be romancing even a woman that he is married to.

The Wolf

When Yosef brought Menashe and Ephraim to Yaakov for a Bracha, Yaakov asked, (Vayechi 48:8-9) “Mi Eileh” who are they?” Yosef answered, “Banai Heim; They are my children.” Rashi says that Yosef showed Yaakov his Shtar Eirusin and his Kesuba. The Sifsei Chachomim explains that Yaakov was afraid they were Mamzeirim and not worthy of a Bracha.

Ya’akov had already been in Egypt for seventeen years. Had he not in all those years asked Yosef whom he married? Had he not met his grandsons in all those years?

Of course, there’s also the issue that the only way Yosef could possibly have fathered a mamzer is with a close relative. A marriage between a Jew and a non-Jew does not produce a mamzer — especially in cases where it is the wife who is not Jewish. Under what possible circumstances could Yosef’s children have been mamzerim?

The Wolf

The Wolf

I hear there’s a rumor to the effect that this WolfishMusings guy also posts under the name Wolfishmusings. 🙂

The Wolf

Some people in the CR know who I am IRL.

The Wolf

Before you try excusing this behavior with whatever excuses you have, see if your excuse still stands after asking yourself this:

Why shouldn’t the girl open the car door for the guy?

Because it’s polite to hold a door open for someone. I sometimes hold the door open for my wife and sometimes she holds it open for me.

Got a problem with it? Does the Torah have a problem with it? Or is there some 614th mitzvah somewhere that says “Thou shalt only open your own door?”

The Wolf

My pet peeve is people starting threads asking what other people’s pet peeves are. 🙂

The Wolf

BTW, for those here who have claimed that all kosher marriages require a shidduch, and it is unacceptable to meet on one’s own, pray tell, who was Dovid and Batsheva’s shadchan?

Eeees and I like to tell people that we had the best shadchan — HKBH. 🙂

The Wolf

anyone there?

I’m here. But I don’t know enough about the subject to give you any answers. Sorry. 🙁

The Wolf

From my understanding the reason why there are those who say the Chanuka lights are ????? ?????? even after the mitzva is over is specifically because during the mitzva one may not derive ???? from them, and therefore in the person’s mind he put that oil away for a mitzva so now he can’t use it for something else. However with Shabbos candles that ???? doesn’t apply, because they are made to have ???? from, during the time of the mitzva.

Unless I’m mistaken, we’re not discussing having further benefit from the wicks… we’re discussing the proper way to dispose of them once they’ve served their purpose for the mitzvah. In that, I’m not certain that there is a difference between whether they are “huksha l’mitzvosom” or not or whether the wicks are “assur b’hana’ah” or not.

There’s no hana’ah in disposing of wicks from Channukah or Shabbos lights. The only question (as I understand it) is regarding the proper way to dispose of something that was used for a mitzvah.

Or am I entirely misreading this conversation?

The Wolf

Accepted.

As I said, I understand that I don’t know everything. If you feel I’m wrong, I have no problem with you calling me out. All I request is that you do so civilly and rationally.

If you think I’m wrong about something I said about the Avos, then by all means, let’s discuss it in a rational and civil manner. I might be right, and I might be wrong. If the former, I’ll defend myself, if you convince me of the latter, I’ll admit that I was wrong.

(Of course, I find the whole thing a bit odd in that the comment was really meant to be self-deprecatory and not really about Ya’akov Avinu.)

The Wolf

You mean you cant translate it on your own?! Ah Nechtigen Tug! I should have known better….

If you say so. I guess that means you’re not going to summarize it for me. If so, then I can’t respond to you either way — with a proper response or an admission of wrongdoing.

The Wolf

The same can be true (and I would guess is likely true and I dont mean that to bash you) about many of the other things you think you know.

So, if you think I’m wrong, feel free to correct me. I never have a problem admitting that I’m wrong when I am.

I am well aware of my limitations intellectually and spiritually. I harbor no illusions that I am a scholar (or even intelligent at all) and that I “know it all.” I am certainly aware that I (like anyone else) can make mistakes (although, I suppose, I’m about a trillion times more likely to make them than anyone else).

So, if you think I’m wrong, don’t be afraid to call me out. All I ask is that it be done civilly.

So please Check out what the Kav Hayashar says about those who say such things and then see if maybe you have a little different attitude about it.

Again, please summarize it for me.

The Wolf

your expected to give the name.

Ultimately, you and your spouse have to be happy with the name you choose.

When Eeees and I were expecting, we, of course, listened to suggestions regarding what to name our upcoming children — but we were never “expected” to choose a particular name. Ultimately, you have to remember that it’s *your* child — not your parents’ child or your in-laws’ child, or anyone else’s. You have to pick a name that *you* (and your spouse, of course) are comfortable with. No one has the right to “insist” that you choose any name over any other name.

The Wolf

Re: your two points.

1. OK, so I was wrong about the story. Thank you for setting the record straight.

2. I don’t know what “opinions,” in specific, you’re referring to. So, why don’t you tell me which opinions you are referring to AND summarize what the Kav HaYashar says and then I’ll respond as appropriate.

The Wolf

Men are supposed to be the hunters. You are supposed to want to find a wife, provide for her and protect her. This is part of that process. If it is getting too expensive for your parents…. *gasp* you have to pay! Yes, this includes you, kollel guys.

Are you kidding? After a while, she *insisted* on paying for some of the dates.

The Wolf

He does it for the reaction.

BZZZZT! I’m sorry, but you are incorrect, sir. Nonetheless, thank you for playing. We have some lovely consolation gifts for you backstage. 🙂

The Wolf (who, if he was going for reaction, could post things that are FAR more provocative).