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I wish I had a choice
You DO have a choice. Why do you think you don’t?
The Wolf
I always sign my posts as
The Wolf
Things that occupy my time (in no particular order):
Learning
Laining
Tutoring
Photography
Graduate Student
Game Design
Database Development
Tutoring
Teaching Kriah (laining, not plain reading)
Professional Development
Cooking
The Wolf
FWIW, I lost 95 pounds on Weight Watchers a number of years ago. The plan is a bit different now, but the basic idea is still the same — portion control, making intelligent/healthy food choices and changing your lifestyle to a healthier one.
(Oh, and the fact that there are no “forbidden foods” is great.)
The Wolf
FWIW, I’ve always found that Eclipse’s advice worked best. When you see that they’re determined to rant and yell, let them blow off the steam and just don’t take it personally.
Absolutely do not give mussar — especially if they have a legitimate grievance (even if it’s not against you personally). Your job as a CSR is to fix your customer’s problem, not lecture them about the proper way to call a call center (although there have been plenty of times that I was sorely tempted to).
The Wolf
I do believe that many of these horror stories are due to lack of social graces on the part of one or both parties.
Ah, so it was my lack of social graces that made it rain that night. 🙂
(Just kidding — I know you didn’t mean my story).
The Wolf
I may turn it on towards the end to see if it’s a close game and, if it is, watch the rest of it. Otherwise, probably not (sorry… I’m not all that big of a football fan. To me, the Superbowl only means one thing — pitchers and catchers aren’t too far away!).
The Wolf
Sadly, that’s the way it is in customer service in general.
I used to work as a customer service rep for a major electronics company. I can guarantee you that whatever went wrong with your order — the item’s broken, the wrong item was packed, the product didn’t do what the manufacturer said it does, the salesman made an error in describing the product — whatever it is — I didn’t do it. I’m here to *help you* fix the problem, and yelling at me doesn’t make me want to go “the extra mile” for you. I understand you have a legitimate complaint and that you’re upset that your order did not go as planned, but taking it out verbally on me will do you no good.
Thank heavens I no longer do that.
The Wolf
Whenever I take my family to M&M, I always tell them to get an unusual flavor. After all, they can get chocolate anywhere…
The Wolf
Shoot me
Wolves don’t use guns. 🙂
The Wolf
Who says it was because of her looks? Maybe he realized he was at the wrong house…
Proper ettiquette would have been to apologize and say something like “I’m sorry, I must be at the wrong house…”
In any event, assuming that he truly was at the wrong house, don’t you think it’s quite a coincidence that (a) he chose a house where another girl was waiting for a date at approximately the same time and (b) that girl’s date never showed up (as I’m assuming to be the case… otherwise there would be no point in telling the story)?
The Wolf
This was my first date with a girl. Keep in mind that this was nearly twenty five years ago.
I didn’t have a car at the time, so I borrowed one from a friend. Since it wasn’t in such great condition, I had to promise him that I wouldn’t take it out of Brooklyn. It wasn’t a great car, but hey… beggars can’t be choosers right?
I was going to pick the girl up after Shabbos and we were going to go miniature golfing on a nice spring night.
Well, Saturday night rolls around, and it’s pouring. I don’t mean just pouring, but POURING… sheets of rain, gusts of wind, lightning, the whole bit. Needless to say, miniature golfing was out — and, being a typical young man, I had no backup plan.
So, I arrive at her home, pick her up and we get in the car. We quickly decide that since miniature golfing was out, the next best bet might be bowling. We head over to Maple Lanes on 60th Street, only to find out that they had no available lanes and, due to league bowling, were not likely to have any for a while. We then tried Elmwood Lanes (no longer around) and Avenue M Bowling (also no longer around)… no such luck. It seems that bowling was out as well.
Worse, each attempt required us to get out of the car… and get soaked anew.
After a few attempts we decide to give up on bowling. She offers up ice skating as a possibility. Desperate to do *anything* fun that evening, I quickly agree and ask her if she knows of a place. The girl gives me an approximate location and off we go. After a few more minutes of rain soaked driving, we arrive… only to find that there is no ice skating rink in the area. As it turns out, the place closed down long ago.
Defeated and hungry, we decide to simply go out for pizza. We park near Avenue J, run through the pouring rain (on a night like that, even umbrellas didn’t help very much) to a local pizzeria. We’re just wiping the dripping water from our hair out of our eyes when we hear a bunch of cheers… a number of her classmates are there and are cheering for us. No, it was done nicely and in the spirit of friendship, but being a laid-back type of people, it was disconcerting for both of us.
At least I managed not to get my food and drink all over myself.
We finished our meal and, after another rain-soaked dash to the car, I drove her home.
Oh, and yes… we did get married. For a long time afterwards, we would talk about our two “first dates:” the one where none of our plans went right and the next one (to the Statue of Liberty) where things ran a lot more smoothly.
The Wolf
Sanhedrin. 7th perek.
The Wolf
Sorry if I was too critical
No need to apologize. Never apologize for civil disagreement. I don’t get offended if you disagree with me, as long as it’s done politely and civilly.
I had no Bad intentions.
I didn’t think you had any. 🙂
The Wolf
I wonder what his wedding pictures would look like?
Don’t know. Last I saw of him (and, admittedly, it was years ago and things may have changed since then) he was not yet married.
The Wolf
the internet has lots of Torah on it yet I still would not recommend it.
And yet, here you are…
The Wolf
Rav Shlomo Aviner, of Yeshiva Ateres Yerushalayim, routinely publishes Shu”T that he receives and answers by SMS.
http://www.ravaviner.com/search/label/Text%20Message%20Responsa
The Wolf
and I find the entire posting photos of young ladies distasteful.
That’s fine… but that’s your opinion and clearly not normative halacha.
I had a fellow who tried to convince me that any photography of women was wrong. According to him, every picture I took of my daughter from birth onward was a sin and a breach of tznius. Obviously, I disagreed with him. The problem was that he failed to realize that this was NOT normative halacha and was only his opinion/mehalech. If he wants to not take any pictures of his daughter, that’s his business, but he has no right to tell me that taking a picture of my daughter, mother, wife (or any other woman for that matter) is a sin.
The Wolf
Yes. I bought a book back in the 80s that described the solution.
The Wolf
The only people who sends me texts are Eeees and my sister. So, it’s probably more than five, but certainly less than twenty.
The Wolf
so why try and deny it??
Shhh…. don’t let some facts get in the way of perceived religious dogma. 🙂
The Wolf
Wolf: The name Ber, as in Yissochor Ber
Actually, I wasn’t referring to the Yiddish name “Ber.” I was referring to the Hebrew name “Dov” which, most often, appears without the Yiddish “Ber.”
The Wolf
Animal Names: Minhag is to name “Chayos” which the shvatim were compared to. We don’t name after “b’haimos” even kosher ones”.
Which shevet was compared to a bear?
The Wolf
BMG does advertise in Yated; it’s hard to believe they would if the mashgiach was against taking it into one’s home.
Then why would he use the word “only” (and considering that Nat actually capitalized it, I would think he meant to stress that word)?
Or, possibly, R. Solomon does not make the business decisions for BMG.
The Wolf
I happen to own a sefer called “V’korey Shmoi B’yisroel” where its brought down from Reb Chaim shlit”a that all modern names (and Shira was one of them), are not names at all and that any one with those names needs to ad a name and be called by the new one only.
Okay, so what qualifies as a “modern” name? How do you (or, perhaps, more importantly, how does R. Chaim) define that?
The Wolf
people oppsite gender say hi/ goodmorning et cetra should i respond?
I would think that while you might have qualms about initiating a greeting, you should certainly return one that is given. To do otherwise is insulting and disrespectful… and there is nothing that says that one is required to be disrespectful to members of the opposite gender.
The Wolf
the rebbe has the right
Because one has the right to do something, that doesn’t mean that it should be done. One can do much harm doing things that they have a technical right to do.
Considering the fact that Feif Un lists it as a possible reason why he went off the derech, I’d say the rebbe made a grave mistake… even if he was technically in the right.
The Wolf
I think you’re misunderstanding the nature of my greeting (and, indeed, perhaps, my greeting is not the norm).
When I say “Good morning” to someone, I am not just uttering words. I am actually expressing a hope and wish that they morning that they have is a good one. Perhaps most people don’t view it that way, but I do.
In this light, it’s just as appropriate to wish a good morning to an animal as it is to anyone else. I would like the cat to have a good morning (whatever that means for a cat) just as much as I would want a person to have a good morning.
If you view a greeting as a giving of respect, then perhaps you are right… but that’s not my intention when I say “good morning” or “good Shabbos”… as I try to greet everyone — man and woman, adult and child, Jew and non-Jew.
The Wolf
And you say Sir when saying hi to a stranger in pasing?
Sometimes I do… when it strikes my fancy.
But, following your thought process, and your comments, you would say it is appropriate to address a person the same way you would address a dog.
As long as they are basically respectful to me, I don’t care what they call their dog. In other words, if they say “Good morning” to me with a smile, I don’t care if they use the same for a dog. It doesn’t hurt me one way or the other.
The Wolf
i think jewish source is talking about the problem where they are touching after engagement but before marriage
That’s why I’m asking for a clarification. His statement could also be read that one shouldn’t touch a spouse in public after marriage — and that it is a yeharig v’al ya’avor.
I don’t want to argue against a foe that does not exist.
The Wolf
Rav M. Solomon said it very clearly in a drosho 2-3 years ago at the Agudah convention, and I quote “The Hamodia is not another paper that you should buy – it is the ONLY paper you should have in your house”. Of course he was not refering to the Yated – he was refering to bringing in any other daily into your house.
Why are you making an assertion that is clearly contradictory to what R. Solomon said?
The Wolf
wolf i dont think its a bad thing, its normal for a teenager but i think it ruins communication skills
I’m not certain that I believe that using cultural idioms is a cause of the ruination of communication skills.
The Wolf
I doubt you would greet the President in the same manner that you greet a person in shul. You would not say hi in an offhanded manner to him.
That’s only because I don’t have that degree of familiarity with the President. I wouldn’t give an offhand “hi” to a total stranger either.
I would, however, greet the President with the same “Good Morning, sir” that I would give to any other person whom I don’t know (and yes, I often do use “Sir” when greeting and thanking people.)
The Wolf
JL,
What about Z’ev, Dov, Ari/Aryeh or Tzvi? Those are mentioned in the Bible, but not as names (with the exception of Z’ev, who was a Cannanite king). Are they acceptable?
The Wolf
wolf- can we have a few more definitions im not sure i understand the meaning yet??
You’ll have to search other sites or reference works. Those were the only ones on Dictionary.com
The Wolf
WOLF it could be they dont say the words around you but do say them in the presence of friends
Granted, that’s possible. But there are two additional factors to consider:
a. The personalities of the kids. I KNOW that one of my kids does not use words that way — it’s just not in his personality. So, I’m pretty confident that he doesn’t use them out of my presence too.
b. Unless I plant a microphone on my kids so I can listen to them 24/7, I can only react to what I hear or hear about them from others.
Oh, and one last point… if this is the worst thing your kid does, you’re on pretty solid ground.
The Wolf
The issue I have is that most people seem to be kofuy tovah to the RSO and the are touching their kalla.
OK, perhaps I’m a little dense, but I don’t see the connection. How is touching one’s kallah (after marriage, of course) being kofuy tovah to the RSO?
Please explain the connection.
Its assur and according to most its yerag val yavor.
Please clarify… what, exactly, is yehareg v’al ya’avor WRT this discussion?
The Wolf
Does greeting an animal cheapen the meaning of greeting a Tzelem Elokim when done in the same manner?
Why do you assume that a greeting is strictly because of Tzelem Elokim? I’m not greeting the animal with the Shem HaShem (such as if I were to say “Shalom Alichem…”)
I greet people because I think it brightens their day. Does it brighten the day of the cat or my hamster in the morning when I greet them? I don’t know… but I don’t think it hurts.
The Wolf
Will G-d be angry at someone who is named Shira
Will God be angry at someone who has blue eyes?
I don’t think HKBH gets angry at people for things that are completely beyond their control.
The Wolf
1. CAN YOU REALLY SEE A PERSON’S TRUE COLORS DURING DATING?
Sometimes, sometimes not. There are many factors that come into play, not the least of which is how long you date for.
2. DID YOU RECEIVE ACCURATE INFORMATION ABOUT YOUR SPOUSE FROM REFERENCES?
I didn’t ask for references, so I can’t answer this one.
The Wolf
Mod,
Those kids are OTD — but they’re OTD of life itself, not yiddishkeit.
The Wolf
Seems to me that it means only biblical names are ok. am i understanding this correctly?
Many animal names that are used for boys are not the names of people in Tanach. Ari/Aryeh, Tzvi and Dov, AFAIK are not names of people at all in Tanach, while Z’ev is the name of a Cannanite king. Nonetheless, all four are used quite extensively.
And, if you will argue, that they are okay simply because the word appears in Tanach, then I counter that “Gamal,” “Kelev,” “Chazir” and “Z’vuv” are also acceptable names.
The Wolf
.An ounce of prevention is worth about 1/16 of a pound of prevention
Unless you’re preventing being hit on the hit on the head by a huge block of gold, in which case an ounce of prevention then be 1/12 of a pound of prevention. 🙂
The Wolf