Always_Ask_Questions

> is there anything available from a man?

why would you want an inferior product?!

Women score better on English and Reading ACT.
Some estimate that women say 20K words a day, 3 times more than men. They are definitely bekiyot.

> Which Acharonim allowed you to accept or use the non-Jewish cash sent to you by Uncle Sam during the Covid pandemic?

ujm, thanks for giving me an opportunity to review halochos of matonos (that is what it was, right?)
Sources below are from “Halachically speaking” v 16-1 by Kof-K R Moishe Dovid Lebovits. I did not review them yet, feel free to help review them.

it is indeed praiseworthy not to accept gifts!
Rambam Hilchos Zichiyah V’matanah 12:17. Brachos 10b Rashi, Maharsha
S’A C.M. 249:5.
one who avoids presents will definitely avoid stealing
one who accepts presents will constantly want money. Furthermore, one will come to flatter those who give him gifts. If one sees a person who gave him gifts doing something wrong, he will not rebuke him.13 In addition, one who receives gifts thinks that he will live off the gifts and neglects to realize that everything is from Hashem
If one receives a present from a non-Jew, the first reason would not apply in this case since one may not flatter a non-Jew, but the others reasons may still apply. Many are lenient and say that it does not apply to a present from a non-Jew.

Mishneh Halachos 15:215 If someone is lacking and does not have what to live on, he may accept gifts. This did not apply to me, but did presumably to those who lost jobs. Frankly, all jobs were uncertain at the time.

R Belsky (no specific page given): There is no issue with accepting WIC checks from the government as one pays taxes and this is not considered taking gifts. This should kal vehomer apply to Covid funds to those who pay more taxes than getting back.

OK to accept small gifts (Sifsei Chachamim, Bereishis 12:13, Mishneh Halachos 17:137). These checks were definitely way less that what I sent the government.

some other interesting halochos:
If one who is learning wishes to accept money from his parents in order for him to continue learning, there is no issue of soneh matanos.
Any gift a parent gives to a child is not included in soneh matanos. It is considered a mitzvah since giving gifts to one’s child brings the parent and child closer, positively impacting the child.
Even if a woman is careful and wishes not to accept presents during the year from her husband because she does not want to accustom herself to presents, in honor of Yom Tov she may accept presents
Others mention that when the Yevanim ruled over Eretz Yisrael, learning Torah was not allowed. When Klal Yisrael was victorious over them, the children were given money to entice them to learn. Therefore, the custom evolved to give out money on Chanukah

One is forbidden to give a non-Jew a gift. However, if one will benefit from giving the non-Jew a present, it is permitted. Based on this, it is customary to give one’s mailman a present during the non-Jewish holiday season

Additionally, the poskim say that if one has a personal relationship with the non-Jew he may give him a present even if he will not receive any benefit in return

> They didn’t interview a single average chasidishe businessman – that’s where they mostly go. And they’re very, very successful in business. They’re also very creative;

This is true, but both sides – NYT and bloggers lack hard data in support of their position. Say, NYT quotes millions going to schools but do not divide it per student. Arguments here are similar baseless.
Maybe we can try producing some numbers that will show something that all sides can acknowledge?

Standardized tests would be one. I don’t buy Avira’s argument about minhag of filling tests randomly. If they knew the material, they would fill it out. But maybe they were studying probability theory…. Some of the schools my kids went did state or private school tests but did not disclose results to parents, maybe others know.

There are also some zip codes that are mostly Jewish. We can look at census data: their average incomes, poverty rates, welfare rates – we would need to correct for age and family size. Anyone wants to start?

Also, a small number of yeshivos (that register as educational like YU?) report federally required data for colleges, here are several numbers – percentage of graduates that earn >= 28K/year 10 years afer, I think. Of course, kollel, motherhood, and undisclosed incomes might have effect, but at least these are known numbers:

for comparison:
COLUMBIA UNIVERSITY IN THE CITY OF NEW YORK 0.877
JOHNS HOPKINS UNIVERSITY 0.897
CUNY BROOKLYN COLLEGE 0.706
CUNY BRONX COMMUNITY COLLEGE 0.613

YESHIVA UNIVERSITY 0.798 (500 out of 4,000)
LANDER UNIVERSITY 0.659
TOURO COLLEGE 0.531
BETH MEDRASH GOVOHA OF AMERICA 0.469

CENTRAL YESHIVA TOMCHEI TMIMIM LUBAVITZ 0.407
RABBINICAL COLLEGE BOBOVER YESHIVA BNEI ZION 0.33
YESHIVA OF NITRA RABBINICAL COLLEGE 0.274
YESHIVA GEDOLAH IMREI YOSEF D’SPINKA 0.271
RABBINICAL COLLEGE OF OHR SHIMON YISROEL 0.156
YESHIVATH VIZNITZ 0.127 (out of 4,000 total colleges, there are 10 lower than this)

common, as the next generation says: LOL. You are quoting Haaretz to characterize R Burg. Do you have better sources? Who knows what was the story in that gymnasium.
Other quotes about him:
He arranged Jewish prayer services in private homes after German synagogues were burned, and worked underground to help Jews escape to Britain and the Netherlands. His mother and grandmother died in Nazi concentration camps. [1]
Also, Lados group included both Polish diplomats and Agudah people.

> Rabbi Goldshmidt is not a govermental appointee and hold no offical position

So he does not have to go back and attend Putin’s funeral? And the other chief rabbis also? Some good news.

DontMind, I am one of those parents … and you can look at threads discussing education, there are a lot of people of all ages with different opinions. Girls (or their parents) are indeed less realistic. My theory is that for a potential learning couple – a boy needs to show years of work, while a girl needs to develop interest in finding a learning boy, which is way easier (in a short term). So, an obvious disconnect, more girls can achieve that stage when taught that way at school.

Not trying to give an advice beyond most generic. Maybe, you need to show your abilities in some other way – in chesed, working prospects .. go join an organization that works with unobservant yidden or sich kids; find an exciting job; brush up on your math & English skills, even if you are behind, you probably have enough skills. You need to define yourself in a positive way, not just in your relationship to what you are not. This may take time.

Hm, what a coincidence – both England and the Colony have both a dour man at the head, supported by a powerless woman with the same name. Except Joe is Jr (2nd) and Charles is the 3rd.

ujm, you could find out by a simple “how do you do” when you see her, but you have to ask thru a 3rd person given your stance on talking to women.

Avira > What about just using it for business and not having it at home at all,

I think it is fair if this works for you. I do prefer to work from home as much as I can, so that I can model (hopefully) proper behaviors to kids and also learn with them. And I had to deal with some inappropriate internet usage with older kids, so was thinking for a time to go the way you describe, but it evened out and younger ones do not seem to have these issues, bli ayn hara, maybe because they see the older ones.

The downside of your approach is lack of proficiency in skills that their generation will be using. Internet is not like TV that will quickly go away, it has sufficient positive content. At some point, humanity, and Yidden in particular, will figure out how to filter out the wrong parts. Maybe, we can re-use Chinese firewall software, I hear it works to keep 1 bln people under control ..

So, I don’t want the kids to start typing with one finger when they are 20 and not being able to distinguish between a research paper and a facebook post. So, this is not just part of the mitzva of giving them a job skill, but also of teaching them swimming (in life).

R Meir Shapiro and others were elected members in Sejm, not government officials, like CR. In addition to mentioned, R Mordechai Dubin was elected in Latvia. Current chief Rabbis in Russia shows us that decisions are not always easy to make: one abandoned his post and fled, another one still there (I am not sure if these are the only two, maybe there are more). Presumably, each of them have some sevoros to support their opposite course of action. So, if you bump at a Chief Rabbi at Queen’s funeral, please don’t make scene.

My mesorah is herring, shnaps and gemora vort by the bar mitzva. The main place where a bar mitzva boy is discussed in a chumash is ben soreh and moreh. Was he eating at the bar mitzva is not clear.

Weddings and funeral were always going towards more expensive ones, there are lots of takonos in Gemora and later trying to make them less extravagant.

Restaurant business has a very low profit margin and high risk of failure. So, probably, yetzer hara to use something cheaper is very high. Still, how often do we have failures like that? Halakha often uses “rov”, not absolute guarantee. Maybe if you buy 3 chickens from 3 different restaurants and then mix you up, you can go by rov?!

RebE > Chasam Sofer was asked, is it permitted for women to sing in a shul to honor the King

I just read a story in a kosher source about, I think, Austro-Hungarian Queen not King (was there such a thing?) being honored by Jewish girl dancing and a discussion between a general and a Rav who were present. Maybe Chasam Sofer was not the only posek.

>> THERE ARE PEOPLE WITH STRONG OPINIONS THAT BEINGS “ON THE DOLE”
> People” meaning you? And we don’t live our lives based on omigosh what will the gentiles think

I do mean Americans. Several acharonim on YD mention hillul Hashem, this seem to take into account what they think. It may be an interesting discussion when we do or not take into account. A famous answer to some European monarch why Jews do not follow majority (of all people) is “only when there is a sofek”.

As to this question, I checked the polls, it seems that about half of Americans are skeptical of public
of public assitance. So, even as overall legal system is a compromise between two sides, there is a large minority that will see unjustifiable use of public assistance as shameful. So do we follow the law as is or do we keep in mind that maybe 4 out of 10 people will see this as Hillul Hashem… When same R Henneman warned people skirting quarantine laws by joining several yards to make a minyan – that someone will not give a ventilator to a Jew in the hospital – he surely did not mean that majority of people will behave this way, just some of them.

I was told by someone who was teaching at a modern school, that showing impressive videos of drug abuse did not improve morale but dramatically increased knowledge level of the those students who were not aware before that.

I would suggest modeling positive internet usage before the kids get to their own. They should see you using a big-screen computer in an open space with your screen visible to others; using it to find information, work, access Jewish learning resources. Then, let them help you.

ready > How can the woman sleep at night knowing that the feeder is upsetting her neighbor?

that’s the right question!

Gadol > Alternatively, take an Ambien

This is by goyishe law. In Jewish law, as ready says, a person needs to make sure that his action is not bothering someone. See Bava Basra – making sure the bird is beyond 50 amot from the nearest house before taking it; a person with the higher roof needs to build a fence …

Avram > I believe the government money being discussed in Israel referred to funding for schools.

yes, and the argument seems to apply more generally.

> if they went away, things would become much more challenging, but iyH the “system” wouldn’t collapse.

I don’t know what the numbers are, but your argument fits what R Shach is saying in terms of “partially relying”.

Avram > [ THAT IS NOT IN THE TIMES OR PLACES WHERE WE NEED TO PROTECT OUR SOCIETY FROM SHMAD AND SUCH]”
That is certainly this time and place.

So, maybe this is where the real disagreement lies. Here is my naive view of current Jewish demographics in US:
2/3 are non-observant and assimilated and quickly losing any connection to Yiddishkeit and have a slight chance of being rescued by Chabad on campus or a birthright trip…
remaining consist of
– MO that grows moderately while losing some on the left side to assimilation into liberalism/OO, etc
– non-MO that grows fast, with some moving closer to MO when going to work/college.

so, this last group does not experience much assimilation, unless you count any shift towards work as a first step in sliding down. I don’t think it is. People with now 3 generations of yeshiva education are not marrying shiksas if they enroll in Columbia. At worst, they get some modernishe religious views. The worst of that is also preventable, as people here referred to Landers as an alternative to YU; and to Baltimore.

Avram > We’re not discussing relying on people, but on government programs that the citizens pay into with their taxes. You should avoid utilizing public roads,

Right, this might be a reasonable position (Obama used it against Romney – “you did not build that, we did”). Maybe this is what R Henneman means when saying “they dont do it for tzdokah”.
a) are there sources making this argument explicitly?
b) what would be included in Sh’A definition beyond “tzedokah”
c) would the resolution depend on time and place? There are people with strong opinions that beings “on the dole” while able to work is shameful and there are those who want to make everyone comfortable … I guess, state laws will reflect majority attitude and you need to read those carefully. So, halocha for TX and CA will be different.

Avram > You are coming from a starting point that does not seem to be Torah based, in fact acknowledged with, “[m]aybe I am biased by Republican thinking.”

This is an important point. I understand your feelings but not your logic. It just seems that certain cultural and historical trends became so entrenched that there is internalization that this is the only Torah and defensive reaction to that. It is a reasonable reaction, and we had similar reactions in history. For example, we found ways to distance from religions that use our books…

It _seems_ to me that the community went too much in this direction, well past the time of danger we were protecting from. And that is why I am pondering this. I am not 100% sure that this is right. That is, if I were a Lakewood parnas, I would not start introducing math classes into BMG, but I would go discuss this and maybe do experiments. And as it unfortunately happens in online forums, discussing a position unfortunately leads to making and taking shots. I am trying to be impartial, but maybe I failed, To clarify, I am not claiming any facts, for example, that kollel members collect welfare. I am just saying that – as a matter of Jewish attitude – they should not. If someone says to me that they usually don’t, I’ll be happy to hear that.

Syag, as an OT, what issues do you see with pepole overusing computers?

syag > glimmers of potential developmental damage

I agree with that, but one should also look at developmental advantages. It is still an open question which one prevails, and depends on how family handle devices and life in general. I am all for careful approach to new things, but I am sure people complained that because of the evil cars, people will forget how to feed horses, and phones will stop people from writing letters, etc.

On the damage side, there are approaches to manage – have devices in public room, defined time access, etc. On the advantage: if kids see parents using devices responsibly: for work, comms, learning, YWN :), you can expect them to do the same eventually.

In my humble experience, trying to fight inappropriate behaviors with early teens is a losing battle – smart kids can break through any filters you can create and they have more time on their hands than I do … But once they started using everything constructively, things turned. No need to teach kids chores – I can just ask them to google how to use the vacuum.

Avira,
in US, you can say a brocha on the President or a Governor, probably bli shem.

what is interesting to contemplate – during American revolution, UK was the biggest enemy, now US and UK (and other former British subjects) are closest partners. Sometimes, people fight those who are closest to them … We can learn from that.

Apparently 20% of 3rd candidate (R) did not mark up anyone as ranked choice, presumably some because they did not like Palin, and some because they did not get how this works.

Also, were the other R finished second, he would have been more likely to beat the D due to less empty protest votes.

Australians point out that their system is slightly different:
– you have to have a 2nd choice. Not sure this will be popular in US where you don’t force people to vote even for the first choice!
– only one candidate per party is allowed into the finals. This will help for some time, until parties subdivide.

My suggestion: to use candidate agreements instead of voter rankings, the way Israelis divide partial knesset seats. That is, candidate themselves decide who is most similar to them and gives them the votes he “earned”.

RebE > The culture has changed so going to college currently became more dangerous than when going in my time but there is also Touro and online education available.

Right. To “more dangerous”, I think the danger reached a peak maybe 20-30 years ago with some decline lately, as you are saying – with increasing college option that do not focus on “college experience”. College went thru same transformation as air travel: people used to put on their “shabbos clothes” so to speak going to the plane, now they dress like they are in their bedroom.

when evaluating dangers, one should look at the recent experiences in similar circumstances: kids coming from same community and school; same type of college – local/campus, off/online, Ivy/technical/Jewish, technical v. humanity major, etc. Results seem to vary a lot based on these factors.