Ex-CTLawyer

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  • in reply to: Trump’s 25% tariff on single malt Scotch #1792633
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Rabbigreenspan

    I don’t drink or buy Scotch. In fact, beyond wine for kiddush I drink next to no alcohol.

    in reply to: Trump’s 25% tariff on single malt Scotch #1792292
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @Rabbigreenspan

    I did NOT say I was making 550-825 per hour. I said I bill those amounts. All the costs of running my law firm come out of revenues billed: salaries for employees, rent, utilities, insurance, employee benefits, employee education, licensing and professional fees. All the free initial consultaions conducted where no business is generated. The payroll for pro bono cases and tzedaka.

    in reply to: Trump’s 25% tariff on single malt Scotch #1792170
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Akuperma
    The state legislature looks at the target amount of revenue to be raised when setting rates.
    A pack of cigarettes is about &10 so $1 in additional sin tax raises X dollars in taxes. Connecticut lawyers bill an average rate of $275 per hour so a lower percentage tax brings in the target revenue. In my case I bill about twice that rate for office work and triple for trial work. So my monthly tax remittances will be far above the state average until I retire in the not too distant future.

    in reply to: Trump’s 25% tariff on single malt Scotch #1791936
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @Akuperma
    Wrong again………………………
    Effective October 1, 2019 Legal services rendered in the State of Connecticut are subject to 6.35% sales tax. That is on top of income, purchases of supplies and services, licensing and property tax on all furniture, fixtures, office equipment in our offices.

    in reply to: Trump’s 25% tariff on single malt Scotch #1791629
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    I don’t care high high the tariffs are raised on Single Malt Scotch. I didn’t buy it before and I won’t be buying it now.
    I believe that sin taxes: alcohol, tobacco are a good thing. If a high price reduces drinking and smoking I approve.

    in reply to: Airline seating alerts #1791472
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @Millhouse
    It may seem a simple solution to you, BUT in many of the US jurisdictions from which they fly, merely offering a singles sex section or asking the question violates equal rights in a public accommodation

    in reply to: Democrats poll #1791240
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @Joseph
    Only time will tell if Senator Sanders will still be a candidate come the Democratic National Convention in summer 2020. If he is, mine is one vote that will not be cast for him (and yes I expect to be a delegate, as in the past).

    BTW, your use of the word comrade is inappropriate. Senator Sanders is and admits to being a socialist, not a communist, they are quite different things.

    in reply to: I got my flu shot today, did you? #1791241
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    It’s October 4th and I got my annual flu shot this morning

    in reply to: Democrats poll #1790946
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @Joseph
    You may need to buy a new crystal ball
    Last May I said ask me in a year when many of the then 23 will have dropped out of the race and you replied that Bernie will still be running.

    After his heart procedure and cancellation of scheduled events, who knows it he will still be in the race.
    That said, I didn’t vote for him in 2016 and won’t be voting for him in the 2020 Democratic primary in CT, or as a delegate to the CT State Democratic Party Convention.

    in reply to: I got my flu shot today, did you? #1790281
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @flatbusher
    The prime reason for getting a flu shot in the beginning of autumn is that flu season begins and you may be exposed to those to are early to have flu.
    Secondary reason is some years there is a run on the serum as the season progresses and it may be unavailable when you decide you want a flu shot.
    I typically have my flu shot the first week of October. Two years ago the flu affected great numbers of people and the strain was a bit different than what was expected. In January my doctor suggested a second flu shot of the new serum that had been produced for the prevalent strain. I got the second shot, no flu. Three attorneys in my office all in their 40s laughed at the idea of a second shot, all three got the flu.

    in reply to: Sitting in driveway #1789096
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @Klugeryid
    I wasn’t talking about small town CT. I said I had driven in Saturday night so as to visit the family cemeteries on Sunday. I was in my CT registered car with the flashing blue lights and siren and plates that say Vol Fire and EMT.
    I don’t have a NY registered car.
    If I was ticketed in an emergency run to the ER. I’d deal with the ticket in court. I am admitted to practice in NY.
    I read the post very carefully, as I read contracts. So much for all your words about R”H being around the corner, you were quick to sling insults and barbs.

    in reply to: Sitting in driveway #1788862
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @Klugeryid
    any sane person……
    I resent your implication that I am insane.
    You know I live full time in small town CT.
    We are a town of volunteers. I and my adult children have all been EMT certified and have volunteered in our town’s EMS. The males all belong to the volunteer fire companies. As such our vehicles do have the flashing blue lights and available sirens.
    I have made many a hospital run over the years transporting neighbors and family. I would decide whether to call a private service as you suggest, 911 or self transport based on the situation.

    BTW, if I was busy attending to a stricken person while waiting for EMT or ambulance the last thing i want to deal with is an inconsiderate trespasser parked in my driveway for his convenience.

    in reply to: Sitting in driveway #1788643
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @Meno
    Our CT home is more than 45 Miles from a wedding hall. However, we own a couple of houses in Brooklyn that had been in the family. Too many neighbors thought they could take advantage of our mostly not being in residence to park in our driveway. One of the family would arrive in Brooklyn for a Shabbos or simcha and find our driveway occupied. So, the gates went up, along with warning signs not to block the driveway by parking in front of the curb cut on the street.
    I am in Brooklyn now, having driven in last night so I could make the cemetery rounds this morning. Glad to be able to have just hit the remote and open the gates, as there was no parking on the block. As long as I am paying the taxes and maintaining the property its use is restricted to my family and invited guests. That stranger lingering in the driveway is just a inconsiderate trespasser.

    BTW>>>>in an emergency every second counts, imagine getting into your car in the garage to rush a family member to the ER and find someone parked in your driveway for their convenience…sheer chutzpah.

    in reply to: Sitting in driveway #1788448
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    We have gates on our driveways. No stranger can pull in and park/stand there.

    in reply to: Where were you? #1787585
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Probate Court in Connecticut, filing adoption and name change papers for a client. Court was suspended when the news came over the Judicial Marshal’s radio and the building ordered evacuated and closed.
    The judge handed the baby to me and asked that Mrs. CTL and I assume temporary guardianship until government might return to normal. The adoptive parents were heartbroken, but after 10 days we were able to complete the adoption.

    in reply to: I got my flu shot today, did you? #1786832
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    No,
    I get my flu shot the first week of October. My insurance company won’t pay if less than 365 days since last year’s flu shot.

    in reply to: Whats the worst thing about smartphones #1784618
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @Rebyidd23

    Some people replace them as soon as new models come out, others don’t.
    I need a smartphone for business purposes. I avoided getting one as long as possible.
    This month will be six years since the iPhone 5S came out. It cost me $100 from Verizon and a year’s extension of my contract.
    On 09/20 I will have been using it SIX years. I see no reason to replace it. I don’t need more storage capacity. I have no music on it. I take pictures for business purposes and as soon as I send them to my computer and know they are saved there, I delete them from the phone.
    I have never broken a phone so I can’t speak to repair vs. replacement.

    My kids laugh at me for using an older model. There is a drawer in the office with their discarded iPhones: 6s, 6Splus, 7, 8 10, etc, etc. Maybe the grandchildren will use them someday. Mrs. CTL still uses a flip phone. She keeps it in the car for emergency use only, never brings it into the house.

    in reply to: Your 21 year old son may be ready for marriage #1781413
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Has your 21 year old learned a trade, finished the required education to get a professional or tradesman’s license; prepared to work and earn enough of a living to support a wife/children without parental or government welfare?
    If the answer is no, he is not prepared for marriage

    in reply to: Apostates in Trump’s orbit #1780868
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @Lakewhut

    My disdain for Trump is no secret, but this comment is not just about him.

    “Huju he’s a Wharton graduate. So don’t play the uneducated card if you don’t have a similar one”

    I am a Wharton graduate, as are two of my children. My father did not buy my way in, and I did not buy my children’s admission.
    Similar to Legacy student George W Bush at Yale, legacy and donor admittees receive what are called Gentlemen’s ‘C’s and a diploma. They cut many classes and professors are not allowed to give them failing grades.
    Donald Trump did his early college days at Fordham as a commuter and then daddy bought his way into Wharton as a transfer student. He did not gain admission through his high school transcript, SAT and Achievement test scores.

    Students such as Trump and GW Bush cheapen the value of an Ivy League diploma and are resented by other students who earned their own admission. Compare this to the current scandal of buying your way into college with fake sports achievements. There are trials going on right now to convict parents and coaches,

    in reply to: The quick get #1776243
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @The Little I Know
    I am also licensed in NY and do some work there, generally in Westchester County and upstate, not the city or Long Island,
    I know about the Get Law. Any Civil Divorce I handle that involves Jewish clients has as part of the agreement that a Get will be obtained within X amount of time and be paid for by Y party. This agreement removes the impediment to remarriage and has satisfied the judges I have appeared before (I use this in CT also). I had a husband who refused to make the appointment for the Get as agreed in the Civil Divorce (I represented the wife) I hauled him back before the divorce judge on a contempt motion. The judge told him that if the terms of the divorce were not complied with the now ex-husband would be held in contempt, fined and jailed. The judge did not consider this a religious issue which could violate First Amendment rights, but a contract issue. The Get was just one required step for which there had been an offer, acceptance and consideration making the contract biinding on the parties. The appointment for a Get was made within 48 hours and one issued in 10 days.

    The Get Beis Din which you refer to is the type I use most often. The sofer is the Dayan, his driver is often on of the three, or they are the aforementioned Rebbis from the local Chabad Day School. Again, because the Civil Divorce has already been granted they don’t have to deal with settlement, custody, counseling to save the marriage. They just make sure there is a kosher divorce and that the parties are free to remarry and that any future offspring will mt be momzerim.

    BTW, as I have posted before over the years, I will not handle a divorce for a Jewish client unless they agree in advance to a get. It does not matter whether they are frum or reform, that’s my standard. These are not considered forced gittim (I asked the shailah decades ago) because the person seeking to engage my services is free to hire any other licensed attorney in the jurisdiction.

    That said less than 5% of my divorce cases involve Jewish clients and I prefer it that way.

    in reply to: The quick get #1776241
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @akuperman

    ” the process of the “Get” and the government’s divorce is quick, easy and not expensive. ”

    I know you are an American who lives in Israel. I assume your comment about the government’s divorce is referring to America.
    Every jurisdiction in the USA has different rules and timetables for divorce. I am licensed and practice family law in 4 states, mostly in CT.
    In CT, a divorce decree cannot be granted less than 90 days after filing a suit for divorce. The couple must have gone through counseling prior to the divorce being granted. Parenting/Co-parenting classes are also required if there are minor children involved.
    I have seen many a couple get before a judge after the 90 day wait and be asked if they had been to room XXX and had there counseling approved as well as a certificate for the court approve parenting classes. This comes as a shock to many, as they thought if they presented an agreement it was just rubber stamped and the divorce decree issued.
    Furthermore, in CT, a judge has the right to reserve decision in any civil case for up to 120 days after the conclusion of the trial. I have seen judges use the threat of a delay to try to get clients to settle. This happened to one of my clients last year. He had offered his wife an equal share of everything after an 8 year marriage, they had no children. The wife wanted more and wouldn’t settle. They ended up with a 4 day trial. After the sides rested, the judge again asked the parties to try to settle. The wife said no. The judge reminded her he could hold judgement for up to 120 days. In fact, he held judgement for 112 days.

    The longest civil divorce I handled was in Florida. The wife wanted to financially decimate the disabled husband. He had a multi-million dollar settlement from an accident and had not been expected to live more than a couple of years. Apparently he didn’t die fast enough for the wife’s liking so she sued for divorce. The case took more than 5 years. and more than $400,000 in legal fees were racked up. there were no children and all real property was owned by a family trust. It was just about stocks, bonds, cash and pensions. The wife died within 3 months after the divorce ended. It is 9 years later and the disabled husband is still alive.

    in reply to: The quick get #1776166
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    The easiest way to procure a rabbi who will facilitate the Get and not try to change your mind is to already have completed a civil divorce, custody and alimony arrangements (if need be) and no no longer be living under the same roof.

    Rabbis generally accept those circumstances as a fait accompli. As a family law attorney who has handled divorces for many decades I am speaking form my clients’ experiences. I and a number of Jewish divorce attorneys keep a file of Rabbis who can move things along.

    Locally, I use a Chabad rabbi (multi generation family in the community). He has one quick phone call with both divorcing parties, arranges a convenient date and brings in a scribe from NY and supplies the eidim from his school staff.
    From start to finish can be as quick as ten days,
    Some clients don’t deal with a Rabbi, instead they call a Beis Din directly.

    Unlike years ago, now one must make sure the Get is issued by an authority recognized by the Rabbanut in Israel if there is a chance of either remarriage there or additional children that may be born who might want to marry in Israel in the future.

    in reply to: Points vrs Cashback #1775844
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Take the cash.
    I and clients have been burnt when we have points banked and the airline, hotel company, car rental company either go out of business or merge and the points either become worthless or worth less.

    in reply to: Should citizens be able to adopt non-citizens at the border? #1775790
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @DovidBT
    I have no idea……I’ve never given it thought and haven’t seen a movie in many years

    in reply to: Should citizens be able to adopt non-citizens at the border? #1775774
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @Lucy
    Thank you.
    My eldest brother is a prolific author, more than 40 books published.

    I have written only three over the years, all out of print: A Euro-Traditional Kosher Cookbook (1978), and 2 Family Law Textbooks in 1984, One to Massachusetts and the other to Connecticut standards. Since most states have adopted a common code and procedure and states don’t test this way on their bar exams anymore there never was a need to update these.

    Mrs. CTL is currently writing a book that deals with our lives, family, careers and adventures. There is an editor and publisher interested, but the final decision to publish will be hers.
    I might contemplate another book after I fully retire in a few years, I don’t know that it would sell, but I’d like future generations of our family to know how we arrived on these shores 150 years ago and managed to both prosper and stay frum while integrating into American life.

    in reply to: Should citizens be able to adopt non-citizens at the border? #1775745
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @Gadolhadorah
    The government has to be cautious who they place children with. There is a great liability if bad things happen.
    When Hurricane Maria hit Puerto Rico, there were thousands of youth (American Citizens) shipped to the mainland to attend school while PR rebuilt.
    They had to first be assigned to licensed foster parents, unless a close family relationship could be proven (sibling, aunt, uncle, grandparent). CT DCF set up a rush licensing course for secondary relatives (Cousins, etc) that took 7 days of classes, home visits and background checks. Normally, the licensing process takes a minimum of 6 months.
    Government can act fast if it wants to do so.

    in reply to: Should citizens be able to adopt non-citizens at the border? #1775743
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @CoffeeAddict
    It’s no secret that Joseph’s daughter loves spending the summer in our home, with all my progeny
    BUT, I don’t take adoption lightly.
    Our youngest daughter was adopted in China. The experience was trying, painful and expensive, but worth it.

    American government officials at many levels don’t understand US adoption/citizenship laws.
    When she wanted to get a drivers license, CT Motor Vehicle Dept insisted on a copy of her Green Card and Naturalization papers.
    BUT, the law is that a child adopted abroad by American citizens is instantly a US Citizen. She did not have to be naturalized. She has a birth certificate issued by the State Of CT Probate Court at the time her name was legally changed from the birth Chinese name to the name of our choosing.
    I had to climb through 6 layers of management at DMV and finally to their chief Counsel and provide him a copy of the State Department directives that declare this instant citizenship. For years DMV had been turning away adoptees and not issuing licenses. Now there is a procedure manual in every CT DMV branch clarifying this.
    When she wanted a US passport to travel to EY, it was denied. Why? The passport office insisted on a valid Green Card. Something she never had or needed. It took a call from our Congressman to straighten this out.
    Even registering to vote was an issue because her CT Birth Certificate lists China as place of Birth.
    This is not unusual, there are many children born abroad who are US Citizens. Getting a US Birth Certificate is common.
    Educating Civil Servants in the law is hard

    in reply to: Should citizens be able to adopt non-citizens at the border? #1775606
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    While many of you are making light of this.
    Adoption is a serious matter.
    I speak from personal experience as an adoptive parent and professional experience as a Family Law attorney who has handled many adoptions in Probate and/or Surrogate’s Court.

    As mentioned above I have no problem with the old system of sponsoring immigrants and guaranteeing they will not end up as public charges.
    Immediately after WWII, my zaidy Z”L sponsored more than a hundred survivors, bringing them from the DP camps and providing jobs in his clothing factories. In 1956, my father Z”L sponsored a dozen Jewish families who escaped the Hungarian uprising.

    A legal adoption involves home studies by licensed professionals and proper documentation and court approvals, both in the country where the adoption takes place and where the adopted person settles with the new parents. One mistake can cause a lifetime of grief and aggravation.
    It is neither cheap or quick.

    in reply to: Democrats/Libs #1775525
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Lakewhut

    The OP did not ask if there was gun control, he asked for an opinion which I gave. I NEVER posted that there is not gun control.
    Personally, I would like much more gun control. I believe in the 2nd Amendment and that any member of a well regulated (by the government) has the right to bear arms, just as law enforcement and the military. I am not in favor of private citizens owning guns. We don’t have to hunt for food, we go to the store and buy it.

    Police can and do respond in a timely manner. In Dayton it was less than 30 seconds, but the large load clip and assault style firearm is faster than that. No average citizen needs bump stocks, large load clips of that type of gun. Congress banned them before and should do it again.
    Being anti-gun is not a Democrat idea. I belong to Citizens Against Gun Violence. We have as many Rs as Ds as members here in CT.
    I would not feel any safer knowing you had a gun, I’d actually feel less safe.

    in reply to: Democrats/Libs #1774782
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Will gun control stop all mass shootings?
    Will making heroin illegal stop its abuse?

    The quick answer is no, BUT
    Gun control will reduce the number of mass shootings. We saw that during the years we had an assault type weapon ban in place
    Heroin is already illegal, so your question is flawed.
    However, there are some people who might not try the illegal drug because of fear of the consequences of conviction of breaking the law.

    Why ask this only of Democrats/Libs.
    I know both Republicans and Conservatives in favor of Gun Control (I live within a 20 minute ride of Sandy Hook).
    I don’t personally know a single adult advocating that heroin be made legal

    in reply to: Dating “the one” #1774554
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Go Google the lyrics to ‘Do you love me?’ from Fiddler on the Roof.
    It really deals with this question well

    in reply to: Do you jump to conclusions in real life too? #1773097
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @Coffee Addict
    After Tisha B’Av we are entitled to levity and joy.
    I closed the office for the day.
    My family is all here at the compound. 85 degrees, sunny. The swimming pool is refreshing.
    Just grilled a load of rib steaks, asparagus and native sweet corn for supper.
    Tonight’s entertainment was a sons/nephews vs. sons-in law/nieces’ husbands basketball game. Aftler Maariv we shall set off legal fireworks.

    Who needs to fight traffic to the Catskills or pay through the nose for camp. All the under 18 grandchildren, nieces, nephews, great nieces and great nephews have been here since school ended in June. The single 18-23 year olds will be here for bein hazmanim or until college/grad school starts. Mrs. CTL and my siblings are also here to enjoy and supervise. No worries about predators in camp counselor clothing. If at all possible family supervision is best, be it leisure, learning or business.

    in reply to: Do you jump to conclusions in real life too? #1772812
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Jumping to conclusions is the only exercise many CR readers get

    in reply to: Would you consider it an ice cream cake? #1771131
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @Ubiquitin

    “A Cake has to have some flour”

    Really??????? Talk to me come Pesach when I make flourless cheesecakes and chocolate cakes

    What about a cake of soap?

    in reply to: What’s The Difference bw Agudah & The OU? #1769480
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @DovidBT
    In my hometown of New Haven there is a Chabad Shul that serves the 100 or so Chabad families in the neighborhood and bochrim from the Yeshivah Gedolah. They chain the parking lot. Their are several area Chabad shuls that serve the greater Jewish community and they do not chain the lots.
    The Chabad shul two blocks from our home in Florida chains the parking lot. There is a lot at the public middle school two blocks the other direction from the shul. Non-frum attendees park there. When my mother was niftara, the price of her adjoining home to ours demanded a hefty premium because it was less than a 5 minute walk to the shul. No one wants much of a walk in Florida summer heat.

    in reply to: What’s The Difference bw Agudah & The OU? #1769428
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @Whitecar
    I don’t often agree with Joseph, BUT I shall take up the first part of his post.
    I was President of an OU synagogue that had an open parking lot 7 days a week. The Rabbi did not object, as long as he had a minyan of shomer Shabbos members, the rest could do as they wished. They made up the bulk of membership and paid the bills. He was not a YU type, but from a major Brooklyn Yeshiva and an honoree of the Agudah at their annual dinner in NY during my presidency.
    His father, was Rav at another OU afilliated synagogue in CT and they also had an open parking lot.

    Here in the country, most Jews do not live within walking distance of shul and many drive. Even the area Chabad shuls don’t chain the parking lots. My local shul is an OU member. We chain our lot, but most of the members drive and park at the church next door. The church members use our lot for overflow parking on Sundays which are not Yuntif.

    I can not speak to the OO comment as I have no direct knowledge of that.

    in reply to: Admission Cards #1768199
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @AbbaS
    Your logic is faulty
    The law says the children must be provided an education. It doesn’t say the state has to pay for it if you don’t follow their rules.
    NO vaccine, home school at your own expense. The school systems don’t have to provide homebound teachers

    in reply to: restaurant on first date??? #1767786
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @Coffeeaddict
    People such as my family, who ate out regularly would new places not in the neighborhood. If we didn’t care for it, no big deal, we’d try someplace else next time.
    My grandparents who lived in Brooklyn and the Bronx had cars since the 1920s, so driving to Queens or Manhattan to dine was not unusual. No one had to schlep on the subway or bus.

    in reply to: restaurant on first date??? #1767787
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @Redleg
    I am old enough to be on Medicare. My 50th High School reunion is closing in.

    in reply to: Admission Cards #1767511
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @Yitzyk
    I apologize for this late reply, but have had a client trial the past 2 weeks and little time for diversion.
    Yes, I was able to pay my children’s tuition, by hard work and sacrificing other things. My kids and grandkids didn’t/don’t go to summer camp, they spend the summer here under family supervision at a much lower cost.
    I was part of the movecause of ment to get out local day schools/yeshivas made constituent agencies of Federation for funding purposes. It also allows the Jewish Family Service to do the scholarship screening and tuition determination. This keeps all private information truly private and real professionals determine need.
    In the late 1970s I spearheaded a major area fundraising campaign to guaranty no Jewish child would be turned away from the local school because of tuition needs. We raised more than $5Million from the greater community for an endowment. The endowment is managed by professionals of the local Jewish Foundation. No yeshiva administration can dip into the scholarship endowment for operational funds or to fix a leaky roof.
    We have convinced local institutions to share costs and purchasing. The Chabad school and the Schechter school made a combined deal for computers and science lab equipment at a much lower cost than either could get alone.
    We established a committee of professionals to write grant applications for funding from many private corporations. Most yeshivos don’t think the Fortune 500 Goyische companies are a funding source, but they are.
    My youngest graduated high school years ago, but that did not stop my commitment to raise and give tuition assistance funds. There are many like me here OOT who are willing to work with the non-Frum community to assure Jewish education. I don’t see this cooperation in town.

    As for your last request for donations to a specific yeshiva, let me tell you about the fundraising system in place in our area day schools for at least 35 years. In addition to tuition, each family is required to fundraise XXX dollars per year (selling raffle tickets, etc) OR write a check in that xxx amount. Those who can afford to write a check do so, others work hard to raise the charity funds. The schools also give x dollars credit for those who volunteer at school events, etc. It is not unusual to see grandmothers helping in the cafeteria every day. They get the benefit of being out of the house with young people and while not paid, the value of their time counts towards a family’s obligation.
    What could you offer the school to offset some tuition and save them on expenses? You need to be creative in your approach. One of my neighbors had his teenage boys cut the Day school lawn and plowed snow in exchange for a needed tuition break

    in reply to: restaurant on first date??? #1766273
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @Coffeeaddict
    How did I choose that restaurant? Many prior dining experiences there.

    My father maintained an office at 500 7th Ave, My grandfather’s showroom and offices were at 1220 Broadway. From the time I was 8 I would take the train from New Haven to Penn Station at least once a month and have lunch or dinner out with them. I got to try most of the Manhattan kosher restaurants that operated below the park between the early 1960s and dating days. All my grandparents lived in NYC and I was exposed to dining the outer boros as well.
    I know that few of my frum friends and classmates ate in restaurants as often as we did, but most of them were from families that had been in the US only a generation or two and were likely to have a stay at home mother or grandmother cooking for the family. My mother was a school administrator in the public schools. My grandmothers both helped run their husband’s business and went to the office 4 days a week. In fact, I can only remember eating meals cooked by either grandmother a total of 4 times in my life (and they lived into their 90s). If we went into NYC for a family birthday or anniversary the celebration was held in a restaurant.

    in reply to: restaurant on first date??? #1766172
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @Coffeeaddict
    “Nobody knows the quality of the restaurant that isn’t in the neighborhood”

    What a false generalization…………….
    I was born and raised in CT. We did lots of eating out in NYC, not our neighborhood.
    In my dating days, Top Manhattan picks were Moshe Peking, LaDifference and Lou G. Siegel…none of these
    were in the neighborhood, but we sure knew their quality.
    In Brooklyn we often ate at Shang Chai, not our neighborhood,

    People who dine out with regularity know the quality of restaurants outside their neighborhood. The internet has helped provide that information.

    Ancedote:
    In 1972 I had an obligatory shidduch date with the niece of my 10th grade rebbi’s wife. I picked the young lady up at her home in Boro Park. She knew from her aunt that I had driven in from CT after work and that we were going out for dinner. We drove into Manhattan to the restaurant. After being seated and handed a menu she seemed confused with the process. It turns out at age 19 she had never been to a restaurant. The only time she had ever eaten outside of a home was at school or a simcha. She never had to choose a meal for herself from a variety of choices. Needless to say this was a one and done situation. She would never have fit in with my family and lifestyle.
    The rebbi’s wife never bothered me again

    in reply to: Working boy in Shidduchim #1765619
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @Beisyosef

    My daughter grew up helping in the office. I run a family law practice with specialties in Wills, Trusts, Preobate, divorce, child custody and adoption.
    I never had any interest in personal injury or medical malpractice cases and always referred them out. As my children and their spouses planned to join in the CTL firm, and someday take over completely when I retire, they realized they needed expertise in other areas and to expand the scope of business. Son #1 has an MBA and practices Business and Contract Law. Son #2 Has a Real Estate Brokers License and mostly does development and RE partnerships
    DIL #1 has an undergraduate degree in Engineering and does Patent and Copyright work.
    Youngest daughter saw that there was great room to expand in PI and Med Mal, and that a medical background made sense, Thus the RN choice.
    Son #3 is my shadow and restricts his practice to what I do.
    Daughter #1 has a degree in Psychology and handles divorce, adoption and child custody cases only. She is in constant demand by the local Probate Judge for assignment at the court appointed attorney for children whose parents are in the midst of a divorce. Although court appointed, this work is paid for by the parents at her regular billing rates. Thinhs are different in small town CT than the way it works in NYC, where most attorneys run from court appointed work.

    in reply to: Working boy in Shidduchim #1765244
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @Workingboy

    I understand your frustration.
    Your shadchan did you a disservice in fixing , you up with BY and Seminary girls.
    My sons and daughters are also professionals who finished Yeshiva then colleg and graduate degrees and professional licensing,
    A competent shadchan would have been fixing you up with young ladies pursuing similar goals who don’t expect their spouse to sit in kollel and be supported by others.

    The mothers and fathers network does a better job making introductions for those young frum adults in the professions and business world than the average shadchan can do,
    It’s called networking and it works well.

    My eldest daughter, an attorney in my firm, who also is an RN was set up with a Frum young man in her law school by a female Jewish professor who has taught both of them, though they had not been in the same class together. The professor had got to know both students well and made a great suggestion, They have been married a few years, both work in my firm and they have given us 2 lovely grandchildren so far.

    Mrs. CTL and I were introduced by our mothers who knew each other well. It’s almost 50 years marriage for us. Both mothers knew we’d be college and profession types and had similar interests.

    Over the decades, Mrs. CTL has invited young adults to our home for Shabbos and Yuntif to give them a chance to meet and mix. Sometimes, one of them will find that another isn’t for them, but might be perfect for a specific friend, the connection is made and there have been a number of marriages resulting.

    My negative view of most shadchanim is that they do not really know the young adults. It is not like it was 50 or more years ago when one was likely to be fixed up with someone in your own community, shul, or relatives

    in reply to: restaurant on first date??? #1764762
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    I always told my sons to choose a nice restaurant that they liked for a first date. That way if the date was someone not worth seeing again, at least they had a meal they enjoyed for my money.

    My eldest grandson will start dating in the next couple of years and Zaidy will offer the same advice (and pay for the meals).

    I think a young lady should be proud to be seen at a fine restaurant with a date, why hide the fact you are seeking a life partner?

    That said, the boy should communicate in advance where the couple will be going on the date. The young lady should know how to dress. Dress shoes for a restaurant are different than walking shoes for a stroll in the park.

    in reply to: Is Social Security a Ponzi scheme? #1764741
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @Redleg
    Had Congress not raised the Social Security reserve funds for decades, they would have been earning interest to pay benefits.
    In a Ponzi scheme, the capital never is invested, it is immediately paid out to early investors and the originator skims the bulk of the money.
    For decades Social Security was solvent, then Congress misappropriated the capital. Congress also did not make sure the matching governmental contribution was made for each employee, thus causing the problem.

    A Ponzi scheme is set up to defraud investors. Social Security was set up as mandatory retirement (and later disability) insurance. Congress defrauded the participants later on, but that was not the intent under the New Deal.

    in reply to: Is Social Security a Ponzi scheme? #1763570
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    NO,
    The key word that sinks your comparison is investors.
    Social Security is a tax plan, Participants are taxpayers, not investors.
    Tax contributions are matched by private sector employers and supposedly the government.

    Participation in a Ponzi scheme is voluntary, participation in Social Security is mandatory,

    in reply to: What are any issues with serving a role in Conservative Shule? #1762356
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @Listenandthink
    “There is no such thing as a conservative or reform “shul”….they are only referred to as “temples”

    You are showing your ignorance, bias or a victim of self reference criteria reasoning.
    ‘Shul’ is a Yiddish word, not everyone speaks or uses Yiddish.

    Temple is an English word.
    My parents grew up in NYC. If they heard/read the word Temple associated with a synagogue name they assumed it was Reform, not Conservative.
    In 1950 they moved to New England. In the Boston area many Orthodox synagogues has Temple as part of their name.
    Typically Conservative and Orthodox synagogues here in CT use the word Congregation followed by a Hebrew word or two.
    The oldest synagogue in NYC is Congregation Shearith Israel which is Orthodox, also Sephardic so the word shul does not apply.
    I have been a member and/or president of 5 Orthodox synagogues in my adult life. One had 4 Hebrew words followed by the word Synagogue as its name. The other 4 were named Congregation XXXXX XXXXX.
    There are Conservative synagogues I am aware of in New England that often the use the name Temple XXXXX, Some are old congregations (more than 100 years) that started as Orthodox and changed to Conservative in the mid 20th Century. An example is Temple B’Nai Abraham in Meriden, CT.

    Please don’t label Jews and their synagogues based on your limited knowledge or how it is done in your neighborhood

    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @tlik

    My post was not to protest ICE rounding up
    Those with deportation orders from courts. It was to illustrate that it was not just brown Hispanics that are targeted.
    I am in favor of the deportation of those so ordered by a court.
    That said when ICE enters they din just take John Doe who has the order of deportation. There is collateral damage as they examine documentation of all present and have taken legal residents into custody.

    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @lakewhut

    Best President, what a joke

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