Dovid HaMelech

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  • in reply to: Getting a Doula for Childbirth #944774

    And what does the doula do?

    in reply to: Getting a Doula for Childbirth #944773

    So you’re saying that if you’re using a midwife instead of a doctor to deliver, that makes less of a reason to hire a doula?

    in reply to: Yom Hashoah, any thoughts? #944659

    I think he’s third, after failedjew and nonorthodox.

    in reply to: How to tell the Shadchan that the girl's too heavy #946213

    It is shallow. Don’t tell her that. Just as you wouldn’t tell the shadchan you think the girls nose is too long for your liking.

    in reply to: How Was Vashti Killed? #944377

    The Medrash in Esther Rabba 4:9 and 4:12 says that Vashi as beheaded and her head was placed on a platter.

    She must have been pretty young when she was killed. She married Achasheverus as a child and after she was executed Esther was married to Achashverus herslef for quite a while. Can a timeline be made out of the Megilla and Medrashim?

    in reply to: How Was Vashti Killed? #944372

    Wolfish: I disagree with your point because Achashverush actually executed the advisors who recommended he execute Vashti. So, clearly, he publicly made very clear he regretted his decision very much.

    The fact that he executed those advisors also indicates Vashti was executed. How she was executed I don’t know, but perhaps Rashi or the same Medrashim that tell us she was killed also tell us how.

    in reply to: How would you respond to Savage on Metzitzah #1028034

    Most parents dont know about specific bris minhagim or care too much about them.If they did, they would inquire beforehand. But they dont. So the mohel follows the minhagim he follows.

    in reply to: Yom Hashoah, any thoughts? #944610

    Sam: that shows we add it on to a Chazal instituted day rather than create our own chosen new date.

    in reply to: Start Shemone Esrei Over or Go Back? #778771

    I believe you can repeat Shemone Esrei as long as you haven’t completely finished the Tefilla (i.e. Oleinu) yet. If you have, you’ll need to say a second Shemone Esrei at the following Tefilla.

    in reply to: Do u have a deep dark secret? #767737

    I would tell you it, but the cops may be reading this.

    in reply to: Your Dream-Ticket for 2012 #903371

    Charlie: Regarding the son, opposing foreign aid is “beyond the pale”?

    in reply to: Chometz Vs. Radiation #763235

    Charlie: Small dosages of radiation does not necessarily kill. That was the only point of the quoted statement.

    in reply to: Is it real? #761880

    On the White House website about this:

    it says:

    “the President directed his counsel to review the legal authority for seeking access to the long form certificate and to request on that basis that the Hawaii State Department of Health make an exception to release a copy of his long form birth certificate. They granted that exception in part because of the tremendous volume of requests they had been getting.”

    I find this peculiar. Obtaining ones own long-form birth certificate is the right of any person. So this business about his counsel needing to request “an exception” to obtain it, raises more questions than answers.

    in reply to: Your Dream-Ticket for 2012 #903365

    “My conviction is that Donald Trump’s shift in issues is as fraudulent as Obama’s birth certificate. “


    Obama released his full long-form birth certificate today.

    in reply to: Start Shemone Esrei Over or Go Back? #778770

    I believe you can go back as long as you haven’t yet started Elokai Netzar.

    in reply to: Mishing on Pesach #1144861

    Due to the various minhugim between families, as related to how to conduct Pesach, what to eat, et cetera, [which are of much greater variance than the rest of the year,] it is a common mingug (itself) not to mix (or mish) so as not have to break one’s own Pesach minhugim.

    in reply to: Shmura Matzah: Hand or Machine #937655

    Considering that matzah’s were hand-made for the approximately 3,500 years from Yetzias Metzrayim until the 19th Century CE, it would be foolish to assert that it is better than hand-made matzah’s, as such a claim would effectively mean that the kashrus was lacking in the matzah’s of Am Yisroel in the 3 millennium leading up to the invention of the machine.

    in reply to: Chometz Vs. Radiation #763227

    “but I’d be willing to bet dollars to (pesachdik) donuts that 99.99% of people would react the exact same way.”

    And does that make it right?

    in reply to: Chometz Vs. Radiation #763225

    A very small dosage of radiation is not only not fatal, it is not even considered unhealthy.

    in reply to: member count #873552

    I guess I’ll be sharing 19 with observanteen.

    in reply to: The Sefiras Ha'Omar game!! #948923

    8 – days of Milah.

    in reply to: Chometz Vs. Radiation #763220

    Wolfish: You are ignoring the dosage.

    in reply to: member count #873543

    Whatever number you assign HIE.

    in reply to: Chometz Vs. Radiation #763216

    “Chometz is only deadly when eaten b’mayzid. Radiation will kill you regardless.”

    Radiation does not kill regardless.

    In any event, spiritual destruction is worse than physical destruction.

    in reply to: Desperate husbands facing divorce #762091

    NY recently became the last state to enact no fault divorce. It (from what little I know — I may be mistaken) should be relatively simple to get a civil divorce by simply filing for one.

    In any event, you can get a real remarriage with chuppa and kiddushin, civil marriage or not. Obviously you couldn’t file a marriage certificate for your new marriage, until you obtain a civil divorce. But that shouldn’t slow you in any way from getting remarried.

    As an aside, since it is water under the bridge in your instance, one shouldn’t provide the get until a beis din sets all the terms of the divorce per halacha. If she wants to receive a get al pi halacha, she needs to follow child custody and asset seperation as halacha sets out and determined by beis din.


    in reply to: Magazines in host's house #763264

    Definitely stashed them away. (I would avoid going to that relative had I known this beforehand.))

    in reply to: Alte Bochor #761803

    Walton: You utilized the term choice of whether to get married or not. Sometimes through no fault of their own, a person wasn’t zocha to get married. But when, as a matter of choice, one chooses not to, it is a matter between good and evil.

    in reply to: Dream Chosson/Kallah… or Settle? #762005

    The children were almost a side point, in my above post. I was talking about the happiness of the couple.

    in reply to: support #1041715

    o you really think parents are supporting because of the schar or because if they dont support their precious child may not find the perfect shiduch.

    Because the schar (by and large by far).

    Is it possible that every parent thinks that each of their children is supposed to sit and learn. I find that unlikely. Why did my parents/inlaws/uncles/grandparents not sit and learn.

    Parents, naturally, want better for their children than they had for themselves.

    Did this genration suddently become learners of epic proportions that every person has to sit and learn for 10 years?

    Like mentioned by PAA, they want limud Torah as much as possible, even if their parents didn’t have that same opportunity or missed it for whatever reason.

    in reply to: Alte Bochor #761800

    We DO have a choice to get married or remain single. That is the difference between humans and animals. We can choose, they can’t.

    Indeed you are correct. Humans have the choice to be good or to be evil.

    So, it’s better to settle for someone just to say “I got married”?

    Most assuredly. Unmarried people are statistically unhappier and die younger.

    in reply to: Alte Bochor #761798

    Walton: My Webster’s still has them. It may not be on the 1,000 most frequently used words list, but it certainly is still used, and isn’t even all that uncommon.

    Choosing to remain isn’t an option in our Klal.

    in reply to: If you could live anywhere, where would you live? #890991

    Ofcourse: What if?? Rav Moshe did provide such guidelines.

    in reply to: Dream Chosson/Kallah… or Settle? #762003

    Walton: If a guy “settled” (whatever that means) on a woman, and he is now unhappy, getting out more times than not will make him (and her) happier. Study after study has so indicated. For example, a study by University of Chicago sociologist Linda Waite found no evidence that unhappily married adults who divorced were typically any happier than unhappily married people who stayed married. Even more dramatically, the researchers also found that two-thirds of unhappily married spouses who stayed married reported that their marriages were happy five years later. In addition, the most unhappy marriages reported the most dramatic turnarounds: among those who rated their marriages as very unhappy, almost eight out of 10 who avoided divorce were happily married five years later. Children were far unhappier after divorce.

    in reply to: Tikun Chatzos #861064


    in reply to: good yom tov! #760776

    You’re perceptions may differ. Nevertheless I am explaining how it may have been perceived, intentional or otherwise. As stated, inter-gender greetings are generally not expected in the community.

    in reply to: good yom tov! #760772

    to everyone i passed

    Minhug Hamokem is to stick to your gender. They may have thought you are flirting, so didn’t respond.

    in reply to: member count #873520

    HIE: You should assign a number to everyone you see posting (in any thread). Otherwise some people won’t be counted.

    in reply to: Gebruchts #760769

    Even if previous gedolim called it a minhag shtus?

    Like the Mechaber calling kitniyos? The Mechaber can and John Doe can’t.

    in reply to: Techeiles 🔵❎🐌☑️🐟 #1057436

    The color of the beged (that the tzitzis is attached to) is usually white.

    in reply to: Gebruchts #760765

    klach: It’s the opposite of gehenim.

    Rav Akiva Eiger (and others) write, “Minhag Yisroel Torah He”.

    in reply to: YWN Coffee Room Nightly D’Var Torah #1124963

    M’lochim I 2:1

    This haftorah records the last moments of Dovid Hamelech’s life and his parting charge to his son, the newly anointed Shlomo Hamelech. Dovid told his son, “Be strong and in full control of your emotions and guard all the Torah’s precepts.” (2:2,3) He assured Shlomo that if he and his descendants walked perfectly in the path of Hashem they would be guaranteed their prestigious position royalty forever. Dovid digressed then and reminded Shlomo about two powerful men, Shimi and Yoav, whose behavior could never be forgiven. Each was guilty of disgracing and publicly shaming the king. Shimi Ben Geira cursed Dovid and hurled stones at him while he fled from his conspiring son, Avshalom. Yoav ben Tzruya executed two opposing generals despite Dovid Hamelech’s warm acceptance of their sincere peaceful gestures. Dovid, now on his death bed, instructed his son Shlomo to be sharp and alert and secure the execution of these two powe rful figures. He said, “And do as your wisdom dictates and do not permit him to die an old man.” (2:6) After completing his instructions Dovid left this world with these parting words of revenge.

    This final episode of Dovid Hamelech’s life is perturbing. Although we undoubtedly recognize the need for such instructions their timing is very disturbing. Couldn’t the aged king choose a more appropriate moment for these instructions? Wouldn’t a more gentle climate be appropriate for Dovid when parting with his precious son? It seems that Dovid intentionally reserved these words to leave an impressionable image on his son.

    In search for an understanding of this we direct our attention to Dovid’s mild request inserted in the midst of these harsh commands. He said, “Act kindly towards the Barzilai children and host at your table because their father was close to me when I fled from your brother Avshalom.” (2:7) Barzilai was very gracious to Dovid Hamelech and provided him food and shelter in his grave time of distress. Dovid was forever indebted to Barzilai for this and hosted the entire family at his royal table. Now that Dovid was leaving the world it became Shlomo Hamelech’s responsibility to perpetuate this kindness. Dovid’s parting request conveyed to Shlomo a keen sense of continuity- to view himself as Dovid’s extension. He therefore instructed Shlomo to perpetuate this kindness and continue the royal practice of hosting the Barzilai family at his table.

    Conceivably, this mild request was interspersed here to place these other commands in proper perspective. Apparently, Dovid Hamelech charged his son with the responsibility of perpetuating his father’s name and honor. He sought to instill in Shlomo a sense of perfect continuity, to follow closely his revered father’s path. For this same reason Dovid chose his parting moments to instruct his son about Shimi and Yoav. They brought Dovid much humiliation and indignation and certainly deserved execution. Yet, Dovid did not deem it appropriate to respond to their actions during his lifetime and left this matter an unfinished affair. Now that Dovid was leaving this world it became Shlomo’s role to act on his father’s behalf. Dovid reserved this difficult command for his last moments to convey to him his true role. He envisioned Shlomo following his fathers’ perfect path and therefore left him with a powerful image of continuity. Dovid instructed Shlomo to begin his reign by com pleting what his father could not accomplish and to continue this path throughout his lifetime. Dovid informed Shlomo that if he perpetuates his father’s honor and accomplishments he will never stray from the path and Dovid’s household will be guaranteed royalty over Israel.

    Indeed, Shlomo accepted his father’s charge and fulfilled it to the best of his ability. In fact, Scriptures mention earlier Bas Sheva, Shlomo’s mother’s special bracha to her husband Dovid Hamelech. She said, “My master the king should live forever.” (1:31) Malbim (ad loc) explains that the words, “live forever” refer to perpetuating Dovid Hamelech’s reign through his son, Shlomo. These words had a major impact on her son as we clearly see from our haftorah’s concluding words. Scriptures records Dovid Hamelech’s forty year reign and concludes, “And Shlomo sat on his father Dovid’s throne his kingdom was firmly established.” (2:12) Ralbag and Malbim explain that this refers to the glaring phenomena that Shlomo ruled for exactly forty years. He followed so closely in his father’s footsteps that he merited his exact years of reign. Dovid’s dream was realized and Shlomo did become the extended image of his perfect father.

    This lesson runs parallel lines with Yaakov Avinu’s parting bracha to his beloved son Yosef. Moments before leaving this world Yaakov Avinu gathered his children and blessed them revealing to each his unique quality and role amongst the Jewish people. Yet, he showered an abundant bracha upon one particular son Yosef. The Torah expresses this in the following words. “Your father’s blessings that superseded those of his predecessors. . . shall rest upon Yosef’s head, the premier amongst the brothers.” (B’reishis 49:26) Rashi explains that Hashem’s bracha to Yaakov Avinu distinguished itself from those given to Avrohom and Yitzchok Avinu. Their brachos were of limited nature whereas Yaakov’s bracha was unlimited and spanned the entire world. Yaakov now continued this tradition and bestowed upon Yosef this unlimited bracha.

    We can appreciate this by analyzing Yaakov’s introductory words to this bracha. He describes Yosef’s superb inner strength in the following words, “And he firmly settled his power and adorned his arms with gold; this came from Yaakov’s strength from where he became the shepherd of Israel.” (Breishis 49:24) Rashi quotes the Sages who interpret this to refer to Yosef’s incredible self control displayed during the irresistible seductive scene with Potiphar’s wife. They reveal Yosef’s true source of inner strength during his life’s most trying challenge. Rav Yishmael said that at that crucial moment of overpowering temptation Yaakov Avinu’s image appeared before his son and reminded him of his illustrious predestined position amongst his brothers. (see Rashi ad loc from Mesichta Sota 36b)

    The upshot of this is that Yosef dedicated his life to personifying his father’s supreme qualities. He was so similar to his father that his life’s experiences echoed those of his father and even his facial features reflected Yaakov Avinu. (see Rashi to Breishis 37:2) His life’s goal was to be a perfect extension of his father, disseminate his lessons to all and perpetuate his sterling character. Yosef’s focus served as a constant reminder to him of his father’s perfect ways. Even after total alienation from his entire household Yosef remained loyal to all his father’s teachings. Although Yosef was subjected to the fierce immorality of Egypt he drew inner strength from his father and resisted the most powerful seduction of life. At that impossible moment he suddenly envisioned his father beckoning him not to succumb to passion. The mere image of Yaakov Avinu sufficed to release Yosef from the clutches of sin and flee from its tempting environment.

    Yosef’s unprecedented achievement earned him the title Yosef the righteous one. His fierce encounter with the repulsive Egyptian behavior helped shape his moral character into one of sanctity and purity. Yaakov alluded to this, as well, in his elaborate bracha to Yosef. He says, “Graceful son whose grace rose above the eye; maidens climbed the walls to catch a glimpse.” (49:22) The Sages interpret this verse to refer to Yosef’s supreme level of sanctity. Egyptian maidens tossed Yosef jewelry and ornaments for him to gaze their way but Yosef’s eyes rose above this and never roamed freely throughout his entire reign in Egypt. (see Bamidbar Rabba 14:6) This purity and sanctity set the stage for Yaakov’s household’s descent to Egypt. Yosef’s relentless commitment to the highest standards of sanctity served as a shining example for Yaakov’s entire household and oriented them to their new home for the next two hundred and ten years.

    Rabbeinu Avrohom Ben HaRambam explains that these outstanding qualities of self control and sanctity earned Yosef his special blessing. Upon reflection we realize that Yosef’s perception of himself as his father’s extension earned him his abundant bracha. Hashem bestowed upon Yaakov an unlimited bracha because he attained the highest levels of sanctity and piety. (see Breishis Rabba 69:2,3 and Ohr Hachaim to Breishis 28:13) . Now that Yaakov was leaving this world he sought to share this unlimited bracha with one who attained similar levels of piety and sanctity. Yosef who achieved outstanding piety and sanctity through maintaining his father’s image became the perfect candidate for this bracha. Yaakov therefore transmitted to Yosef the unlimited bracha he received from Hashem for outstanding success and fortune in every aspect of life.

    by Rabbi Dovid Siegel

    in reply to: YWN Coffee Room Nightly D’Var Torah #1124962

    A Stiff-Necked Nation

    By Rabbi Label Lam

    A stiff-necked nation: They turn the back of their neck to the one rebuking them and they refuse to listen. (Rashi)

    Like any other trait, stubbornness can be used for good or the opposite. Therefore, for the sake of our survival, a stinging rebuke was needed, as it were, to reset the broken bone so it would not grow firm, committed to some corrupt value. So we have survived!

    in reply to: Alte Bochor #761794

    Is an alte bochor the equivalent of an old maid or spinster?

    in reply to: If you could live anywhere, where would you live? #890983

    If parents dont promise, they dont marry off their children, regardless of where they live.

    I haven’t noticed the poor remaining unmarried. The older singles crowd doesn’t stem, by and large, from poorer families.


    in reply to: Techeiles 🔵❎🐌☑️🐟 #1057425

    IOW, even amongst the techeilis wearers there are multiple opinions of what techeilis is, each opinion excluding the others. And the most common and prevalent opinion is that all these mutually exclusive opinions of what is techeilis, are incorrect and thus it shouldn’t be worn.

    in reply to: If you could live anywhere, where would you live? #890966

    Its surprising that so many chose Brooklyn.

    It’s not surprising at all. So many more frum people live in Brooklyn than everywhere else in the U.S. combined. Anyone can move out yet relatively few do (and many more move in.) So it would have been surprising if so many hadn’t chosen Brooklyn. The results make sense.

    in reply to: Stop minding your own buisness! #761688

    Health, Can you please elaborate on these other shitta’s you speak of? Where in the gemorah and who and where brings them as practical halacha?

    in reply to: If You Had Sixty Seconds With Dovid Hamelech,What Would You Say? #725770

    I felt I could not leave my people hanging so long. So here I am (for the next 60 seconds.) I’m all ears!

    After that time frame, I hereby appoint popa_bar_abba as my Chief of Staff. Please direct all further inquires to him – effective 61 seconds from now.

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