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Bkavod Gadol, thats where i begin to think this is not on the up and up. Why do you need to advertise? trust me, there is not ONE HUMAN ORTHODOX person with a girl aged 19-27 who hasnt heard about this outrageous proposal. And besides, the girls are desperate remember? They should be flocking to you in droves, isnt that the point? You dont need to advertise, thats a complete waste of money. iMHO and still no one has given me this answer, if I cant get a simple yes from any boy and my daughter for example is Miss ploni bas ploni, 18, wealthy , yichusdik, thin, beautiful, size two, willing to support, earning a degree, alle malllos, wonderful family, then how is the shadchan gonna get a yes from these boys? the problem isnt “finding” them, the problem is getting their mothers to say YES! I just feel we are barking up the wrong tree here.

OK i sort of agree,,,, but the problem is this: MOTHERS OF ALL GIRLS are DESPERATE>>> its not an age thing, its not a close the gap thing, its not a we have no money thing, its not a my daughter is not a size 2 thing. yes those are problems, but NOW everyone is having difficulties getting a yes from anyone under any circumstances. I am opposed to NASI in every regard, but out of desperation I will probably sign my daughter up, not because she needs “more attention: from the shadchanim,but because she needs a YES from anyone!!and I assume, that if i throw 11K the shadchan’s way, she may just be able to come up with a yes. ITs a terrible thing that it has come to this , but that is the reality . again my advice to fix the problem is for the Roshei Yehsiva/Gedolim TO COME FORTH AND MOBILIZE< and in whatever way they can, facilitate the process of getting a yes. that may come in many forms, but one real simple way to start is to stress the importance to the klal and mothers of boys in general to get back to shadchanim in a reasonable amount of time.

thank you so much for thinking of me, but this is not going to work out. perhaps you can suggest someone with…… more…… whatever. be specific, dont beat around the bush.

Im starting to think the 11K dollars for NASI is just for the priviledge of getting a YES from any boy, no matter what the age of the girl or the finances!!!!

Why is no one in the velt concerned with the psychological fallout from all this?. What is a 21 22 yr. old girl to think of herself, when poor mommy and (rebbe) Tatty, have to schnorr to come up with this money (which they just had to do for seminary, an now for a dating wardrobe) just so nebachel “chanie” can get shidduch.? We havent needed it until now, why do we need it now?. WHat has changed? the only thing i can see that has changed, is that the boys are staying longer in israel, and the girls are going out when they get home. I say either put all 19 20 yr old girls in the freezer (which will never work) or , pick up half those bochurim you saw at R Nosson Tzvi’ s levaya and bring them home for six to eight weeks to date, there goes your shidduch crisis right there. Additionally, i feel, the gedolim need to make more stringent demands on the mothers of boys regarding getting back to people, and making timely decisions etc. Also, if NASI feels so strongly about incentives for shadchanim why does it have to be a big public thing? why cant a parent of an older girl simply engage the services of a local or family shadchan, and offer them pay according to how much time and effort was put into the shidduch.? The business of it all just seems wrong. Privately, there can be (and are currently) shadchanim who specialize in older candidates, why make it a public forum whereas if you dont cough up the big bucks you are blacklisted./?

Daas Yochid, you have not properly addressed my comment that the disconnect is that the boys have twenty or so on their list and the girls can hardly get a yes. that is not an age gap thing. neccesarily/ part of that is that mothers of boys protecting their heilige bochurle are not treating the girls with respect. they cast them aside hap hazardly because they know there are plenty of others where that came from The only answer i see here is to put the girls into the “freezer” until 21 but i just dont see that happening in reality.

granted. the shadchanim need better pay, but why on earth do they need it up front, and why is the girl paying both sides shadchanus.? and why that much? no one has answered that yet. I again, compare it to a real estate agent, she can either spend days and weeks on end showing me properties and i buy nothing at all, or she can take the time to get to know my wants and needs, and use her skill to show me properties that suit me to a tee, and i make a quick purchase, and she gets her commission. Its simple really… THe bigger problem, is the disconnect between the boys’ lists and girls sitting week after week without a yes. Thats the problem that needs to be solved, not forcing 20 yr old boys to marry 24 yr old girls which is ridiculous. at best!

I agree with the lets have the boys and girls meet. I think it should be like a gateways shabbaton. Spend a shabbos together with many like families, make connections. let the shadchanim on hand faciitate a meeting or two, and then follow up afterwards. there can even be a “brochure” with a bio of each family, background basic info etc. Something in this entire system is broken.. and its not a simple fix. I also agree with the fact that the boys are staying in Israel too long, and the girls are going out right off the plane from sem. thats the disconnect. and if you really want a good bochur, than you should prob be looking in israel, but your daughter is back now, so now what… ????

Always Runs… I warned you that this takes time. You shouldnt rush to finish by Rosh Hashana. YOu will not be happy with the results. This is a wonderfully theraputic activity when done without the time pressure.and you better let those coats dry completely, or you will have a real mess on your hands.

three simple words… daven, daven, daven

first of all. this is a slow and timely process. its not a sunday afternoon and you’re done job. that said, the darker stains are probably because, as you said the chairs werent sanded completely before rubbing in the stain. also how did you apply the stain? If you are serious about making it look nice, and they are good quality chairs, take one at a time and put alot of time and elbow grease into it. Like three days per chair. Sand it down completely. you can view this on youtube. only once you have stripped it and sanded it completely and used a tack rag to get off all the shavings, then apply the proper stain with the proper tool ( i would choose a foam brush or rag) with even strokes with the grain, avoiding any drips. wipe off excess right away. and sand in between coats. I would rather a hand rubbed finish but thats up to you. and the look you want. THey make products that combine the stain and protection finish in one. good luck and watch some you tube tutorials first.

Magic Mill wins hands down for challah. i still knead by hand afterwards though. I like it for all kinds of baking (with the additional beaters and white bowl) EXCEPT for cookies. for that its not the best.

K i watched the clip again because i wanted to study it carefully.

and yes as he says there, we do all have an obligation to expose this man. In the clip you can see, the mother knows what is about to transpire, and turns her body away so as not to view the brutality. (at least she knows its wrong) but then disturbingly i guess in a way to preserve what ever dignity she thinks she has left, she comes back and yells at those israelis for not minding their own business. She is a victim too, i can sense it, and they always take the aggressors side out of fear I guess.

I think you should go into any gift shop and choose something for the house, a hostess gift, like a dish, with a set of small spoons, salt and pepper shakers (crystal) something special for the first visit. I had the same dilemma thirty years ago, after agonizing for days, i brought crystal salt and peppers only to find out that she already had three paris exactly the same… Oh every time i see them i wish I could take them back!!! you cant find those anymore@!!!

In my opinion, and yes i have done it, is that it is safe for you to put your child on the floor during flight times when you would otherwise be allowed to roam around without a seatbelt. IT is not at all like driving a car once the plane is airbound. Yes, if it is taxing you need to be buckled, but if CV that plane falls out of the sky at fifty thousand feet, what good is a seatbelt going to do? I suppose the airline regulations dont like it because it may be a tripping hazard for exiting passengers in an emergency. Also, if the flight attendant asks you to move the child, then yes, in the name of kiddush Hahsem you are obligated to do so.IMHO

find out what his chevrah is like that tells alot about the person

i will be glad to address this issue. I have personal experience. Here is the problem. the brother may be a wonderful boy with issues you think you can deal with or dimsiss. However< and this is a big however, you must understand that the issue is that the children often come out with the middos of the brother. and often times it is very difficult for parents to interact with a child who has “foreign: middos, meaning they are not middos you have been raised with in your family, and have no experience dealing with. If you do not like what you see in the siblings and parents, remember that it is true you arent marrying them, but you WILL have a child with some or all of those middos. MOST LIKELY

Itche Srulik: you missed my point. Names like Leora, Ahuva, Adina, Aviva are :”made up” in the sense that they are not biblical. It seems according to this psak you need a biblical name. like sarah, rivka, rochel leah, devora, esther, tamar, avigail, whatever. but Eliana would not be any more of a name that Shira. it would seem

Dan and Calev are biblical.

can someone explain this better? I understand if the name is made up from modern hebrew like Leora, or something, but does this mean only biblical names have real name status. Shira comes from davening. and so does Tehila or the like and what about names like malka, atara, aviva, adina, ashira, aliza, ahuva, meira, meir for that matter. and then all the yiddish names. Seems to me that it means only biblical names are ok. am i understanding this correctly?

DONT LAUGH about the wine thing!! My daughter was newly married living in Baltimore and she couldnt buy wine for Shabbos!!!

OMG YOU ABLSOLUTELY MUST PURCHASE THE INSURANCE. ITS NOT LIKE IN THE USA. WE almost didnt get it, and our windshield was smashed (remember they hate Jews there) and the replacement would have cost us like 600$

it would be so helpful if someone doing research now could just list the typical brooklyn halls and minimums and prices.. thanks