Forum Replies Created
As a Jew you dont have to be right or wrong, your job is to make a kiddush Hashem, your Proper response should have been, Im sorry my husband offended you, thank you for letting him know they have changing tables. He’s new at this….
The only thing you accomplished by “engaging her” is making a chillul Hashem. IMHOJanuary 8, 2013 9:31 pm at 9:31 pm in reply to: Insanity!! Netura Karta Sicko Forces His Boys Into Frum Girls School in Antwerp #928842
I love Zaidy78 response. great idea. the school should have rolled out the red carpet. all the girls should have been singing and welcoming them. What a terrible example to be setting for these impressionable boys. Hashem Yeracheim. I guess they are safer in a girls school, cuz if they get into a mainstream chassidshe yeshiva, they will get the you know what beat out of them…
i do not see any cons except that you will be away from family, which is not a con in most cirucmstances.
Yes i can tell you exactly what you need. and it will be spot on.. tried and true. first where do you live (city, suburbs, israel usa) for the stroller get the city mini (not the new version) i liken in to the honda odyssey. everyone has one and everyone cant be wrong!! for the car seat get the graco, snap and go. if you have and use a car get the adapter to the stroller so the car seat can snap on in and out of the car elimintating theneed to wake up the baby. get the fisher price swing although you cant use it on shabbos, its still alifesaver…learn how to swaddle, you will need that…..if you are using bottles, everyone likes the avent ones, (i am not sure i understand why) I would stick with the playtex w drop in liners. if nursing you MUST buy the “my breast friend” nusring pillow. and buy that purple johnson and johnson bath soap that puts babies right to sleep!!! GOod luck, beshaah tova
i am going to israel soon. My kids are all on orange. do i need to rent an orange phone? can i get that before i go? or can i get a sim card if my iphone5 is on verizon?
Yes. as an out of towner, i say, sorry its like this, but the girl has to be centrally located in order to go out with east coast boys. if that means spending the year in NY so be it!! ALso dating is a process, it takes time. so if a boy even agrees to fly out to LA, what next?
Well, I have never had experience with a typical Chassidishe “beshow: but since the young couple may only see each other one or two times, i would assume it would be prudent on the part of the parents to ascertain that this young man or woman has all the qualities they are looking for in a spouse for their child. Which are of course, middos, middos,and middos. I also assume yichus ranks high on the list amongst chassidishe families Basically the parents are “making the decision” for their child based on the fact that they know their child better than the young man or lady knows himself, since this area is very new to them, the parents with age old wisdom and life experience take the responsibility upon themselves to make most of the decisions so that all thats left on the beshow is to determine if the personalities “shtim:” its not that much different than litvish circles except that litvish cirlcles put alot more “faith: in their children to “develop a relaationship” before marriage, whereas chassidishe ones are trusting that their parents know what’s best for them.
Yes. THe parents
maybe cuz they only marry their “own kind” and they are not such a big pool of people to find shidduchim.September 13, 2012 11:18 pm at 11:18 pm in reply to: Is there a way to tell if a girl will be a competent wife and mother #896777
it doesnt matter if she can cook. she can learn to cook. It matters what kind of middos she has. YOu should be able to tell if she has it together by what she has done in life, If she was head counslor , head of production, spearheaded chessed project, these are key indicatiors that she has it together. ALos, really important is to look at the parents and older sibs. what are they like and then ask who she is similar to.
i fly this route about once a month or so. and i can tell you for sure that if you want to sit with your elderly parents, you go online (yes the internet) and you choose seats together. and if that is not available you choose a diff flight. and if that is not an option, you ask on the phone before you go for the rep to sit you near your parents. Jews especially orthodox ones need to learn to live by the rules even when they dont suit their agenda. i jsut booked 9 people on that flight and we all managed to sit together. when the seat map didnt show the seats the phone rep was able to assist.
the funniest google translate i ever got was from an ikea page showing buffets and pantry closets which are called miznonim and aronot. the google translate mis read miznonim as mamzarim and it read, i kid you not, Coffins for your illegitimate children!!!
im just saying, this guy is obviously asking becuase he wants to go considerablly faster than the posted limit. obviously, the 30MPH in the fancy rich suburban neighborhood, is to keep noise to a minimum not save lives, but in and around boro park for eg. speeding down streets is a recipe for disaster. There the speed limit should be upheld so that the driver could avoid accidents with double parked cars, people darting in and out between cars etc.
So heres is my question. whats the point, are you willing to pay if you get the ticket? points on your license? getting your licesnse revoked even? you have to think of the consequences. and arent you concerned at all about your fellow drivers? speed KILLS> is there anywhere you are in such a hurry to go to that you need to endanger your life and the lives of others. Driving at a safe speed enables you to react properly to changing driving conditions. if you want to speed go on the Autobahn…!!!!
first you need to cook the wings. preferably on a rack over a sheet pan so the juice drips off. season the wings and drizzle with olive oil., then when cooked and crispy, dunk them all in a bowl with that sauce which has been brought to a boil on the stove with a Tablespoon of margarine added to it. (or less depending on how much you’re making) When you fish them out of the bowl you can put them back on the rack and put them under the broiler for a minute or two. watch carefully. key is to cook the wings first to get rid of all the juices. you can add some of those juices into the sauce when boiling it up.
didnt read all the threads. but there are so many components with challah that have to be right in order for them to be fluffy. first yes, the yeast. water must me 105-115 degrees WITH A THERMOMETER. let the yeast bubble. Fresh yeast produces fluffier challah . add 1 to 2 tsp sugar with the yeast and dotn continue until you see the yeast move, like a gurgling science experiment. Then and only then add in eggs, sugar, and oil very slowly, add salt last. then add flour til you get a smooth batter, then keep adding flour. but not too much. the kneading by hand in my opinion makes it fluffy. and if you knead in the flour by hand you cant do too much. knead it until it forms a ball soft and smooth to the touch. when it looks perfectly smooth and feels just right, its ready to rise. it should double in size, when shaping its important never to stretch your snakes. let rise again then put into hot oven. flat challos can also be from overrising. i do 1 1/2 hrs first time and 45 mins second rise after shaping. hope that helps.
i see no reason why the women need to go. (and yes i am a woman) i understand being a part of kavod hatorah, but i see no toeles in women going. they can have a live hookup at some offsite facitlity. mechitza or not (which i think it ludicrous) considering the women will be in a sep section and upper balcony i assume, the pushing and shoving going in and out cannot be tzniyus.February 23, 2012 3:42 am at 3:42 am in reply to: Eating Disorders Co Mordbid with Anxiety Disorders #853440
I too, have no idea what you are trying to say/prove, but i can tell you this, Blood sugar levels. (ie insulin resistance) spiking and crashing cause anxiety. so if the eating disorder is wreaking havoc on the endrocrine system, as it might, that does cause anxiety. if you are interested in all this i can explain it to you further.
Please people!! get off the drugs!!! if its Pre Type 2 and controllable. diet and excercise work ten times better than the drugs. and when you say you made changes those are great, but NO flour at all, and that means shabbos, (until your sugar is really stabalized) take a bite of matza. and no sweet potatoes either. when you get ALL sugar out of your system (even fruit) you can begin to rebound. You can have berries and NO SPLENDA not ever. not today, not a bit, not a taste, it is terrible for you. (get stevia or raw honey. Raw Honey should be your sweetener of choice. and yes you dont wnat to starve so you have to FEED your body with fats, yes you heard me right, fats. Meat and chicken and fish, cooked in good old fashioned shmaltz (made yoruself not with BHT) and olive oil. the fats keep you satieated. dairy fats such as whole milk, cheese and cream, and the biggest fix for prediabetics is to BUILD MUSCLE> you might be wroking out and doing all the wrong things. you need to specifically BUILD MUSCLE> thats your best defense in my opinion. and brisk walking can bring your sugar down faster and better than any drug. (im speaking about metabolic related pre diabetic type 2) now if you have a heridetary predispositon to type 2 you may have more of a battle ahead of you. this advice is if you got your own self into this mess by your food choices. (yes I am one of you!! not judging)
is there a defrost party??? where can we find these “fresh” boys??
i dont suspect he wants to marry a grandmother of 8!! (happily married BH) i meant for us to suggest people we know who are looking. Use the internet for what its good for…. networking!!!
why cant we make shidduchim right here???!!!
i would not do it. no way no how. no loopholes. been there , done that. would not do it! at all. whether you get a psak or not. its a mazel thing not a din thing. i believe
boy or girl? if you can get married in this climate, i say go for it!January 23, 2012 11:19 pm at 11:19 pm in reply to: Frustrated Mothers of Girls: Can we hear your ideas #845590
Lets all go to a shabbaton weekend somewhere. NOT a singles event , but come with teh whole family. Let hundreds of baal habatishe families meet each other socially and make contacts in a kosher way, and network… The shidduchim aspect of it would be as a follow up afterwards.. when you leave you leave with a listing of each family you just spent shabbos with. where theyre from, who their kids are , where they daven etc… and then on your own, you network. whats wrong with that//?????January 23, 2012 7:44 pm at 7:44 pm in reply to: Frustrated Mothers of Girls: Can we hear your ideas #845588
no but seriously, i would like to hear from people in the know.. how to cope. meaning assume we realize there is a crisis, what else (aside from moshiach coming) can mothers of girls be doing to effectively get a yes. seriously please advise!!January 22, 2012 6:11 pm at 6:11 pm in reply to: Frustrated Mothers of Girls: Can we hear your ideas #845577
oh sorry AZ , what i meant before, is i am finding, that mainstream shadchanim do not have many more boys “at their fingertips” then i as a mother of a girl do. We are all finding the same people. and the problem is getting the yes, so unless that boys mother for some reason would trust a shadchan (who met my daughter among a thousand for ten seconds) over a close, friend, relative, rav, or neighbor, whats the point. I personally feel any shadchan who has a guys resume in her collection, on hand, this guy already has some kind of issue that he needs her help. in some way…January 22, 2012 6:08 pm at 6:08 pm in reply to: Frustrated Mothers of Girls: Can we hear your ideas #845576
yeh but they are in the same boat as everyone else. i say instead of us bickering over details. let s all agree on one thing..Throwing money at this problem will not solve it.. why dont we open a forum right here on YWN as anonymous as possible, and make shidduchim. Good ole grass roots way to fix the problem….January 20, 2012 1:13 am at 1:13 am in reply to: Frustrated Mothers of Girls: Can we hear your ideas #845571
az you dont read carefully. Non helpful shadchanim, (meaning they no more have guys than girls; mothers do) now being hired by NASI so that they will no longer be available for the reasonable sum of 2500$ a shidduch.January 19, 2012 10:19 pm at 10:19 pm in reply to: Frustrated Mothers of Girls: Can we hear your ideas #845569
and why is no one horrified that our girls spend day after day “selling themselves” to friends, well meaning connected neighbors, and overburdened, now to be re hired by NASI, non helpful shadchanim. WHat a horrible place for bnos yisroel to be. while out heilige boys sit cocooned in the beis medresh while their overly picky mothers ward off the throngs of girls’ mothers! something is seriously wrong…seriously…January 19, 2012 10:13 pm at 10:13 pm in reply to: Frustrated Mothers of Girls: Can we hear your ideas #845568
thank you Daas Yochid for sticking up for me. all i know is something has to change, and i honestly bechavod gadol, do not think the boys’ roshei yeshivos have a clue how dire it is (unless they have girls in the parsha) in my opinion this should have been front and center at the aguda convention with all great minds on deck to come to some kind of solution. I have a simple one. how bout if you are a rebbe, or mashgiach, and you get a call from a girls mother (or other) how bout getting back to them in a timely fashion, (lets say, less than three days>)I would even say WALK OUT OF SHIUR AND ANSWER THE PHONE thats how dire this problem is….January 18, 2012 3:05 am at 3:05 am in reply to: Frustrated Mothers of Girls: Can we hear your ideas #845553
no one has offered a solution. so here is mine although i know it cant be implemented. Boys need to come home earlier from israel. and RYs need to own up to this crisis by imposing takanos that mothers of boys respond in a reasonable amount of time. Shadchanim gain access to boys, RY and rabbeim return phone calls with the utmost urgency, regular pple, friends, neighbors, relatives, agree to redt a shidduch. thats a start and doesnt cost any money!January 16, 2012 3:09 pm at 3:09 pm in reply to: Frustrated Mothers of Girls: Can we hear your ideas #845512
oh but MOM 12 if you have a boy you have nothing to worry about. the crisis of which we speak is for the girls…January 16, 2012 3:07 pm at 3:07 pm in reply to: Frustrated Mothers of Girls: Can we hear your ideas #845511
what Kfira!! how is it US who made the numbers inequal.. THe RS”O obviously wants our tfilos as He does in any time of crisis. And He wants the sinas chinam to go away, (which is a large part of all this) and he wants us to “fargin” our neighbor, which is even a bigger part of all this, and He wants to humble us by letting us know loud and clear, we are not in control. The only way in which WE messed up, is that we try to take control of the situation in a way that shows we think we can fix the problem. We cant. THere needs to be a kol koreh, a yom iyun., even a fast day!!! This is a crisis of epic proportions and we are not able to handle. and to MOM 12 i say i am positive you havent had a child in shidduchim this year!! or the past six months. The matzav has changed alot.
I cnat keep up with all these boards, but,, AZ I am not incorrect. Its what youre saying But COMPOUNDED> There are not enough 23 yr olds?(boys) thats ridiculous. G-d didnt just stop making 23 yr olds. Your svara only works if every 23 yr old was marrying only a 19yr old and then there would still be a problem, add to that my svara which is the pool of 23 yr old boys are being sought after by all those catagories of girls. thats where the problem is it seems pretty simple to me. According to your svara. Who are the 24 yr olds marrying? who are the 22 yr olds marrying (boys) ? they arent all grouped by age. but one thing still holds true, that is a universal target is that 23 yr old guy. TOo many people are after him!!!January 13, 2012 3:44 am at 3:44 am in reply to: If you've read "NASI Project Responds", have you changed your mind? #848106
amen to apushtayid!!!January 13, 2012 3:39 am at 3:39 am in reply to: Frustrated Mothers of Girls: Can we hear your ideas #845494
again, here is my take on the numbers game. The target boy in litvishe circles has always been 23. That desirable 23 yr old is sought after by 19 20 21 22 23 yr old girls. that s the problem in my eyes. so yes they all go out with ONE girl. but they HOLD thirty girls on their list waiting for yes es. and the pool of girls is too big because of the various ages. SO either the yeshivas give up their guys at 21 22 whcih we know isnt gonna happen, or the girls go in the freezer until they are 22 which also is never gonna happen, so after all is said and done, davening for a yeshua is the only seicheldik answer here. MORE MONEY FOR SHADCHANUM is NOT>>>
nine pages of hocking, and i just figured it out. simple….
I look at it like this. there is basically ONE target boy age 23 lets say. that everyone is looking for. the problem is, the 19 20 21 22 23 yr old girls are all looking for that 23 yr old guy. Thats the numbers problem. so either put the girls in the freezer until they are say, 22 and additionally make the boys go out earlier.January 12, 2012 11:14 pm at 11:14 pm in reply to: If you've read "NASI Project Responds", have you changed your mind? #848096
i agree again the money needs to be an incentive to the boy, not the shadchan. also the yeshivas need to bring boys back to the US earlier.January 12, 2012 11:09 pm at 11:09 pm in reply to: Frustrated Mothers of Girls: Can we hear your ideas #845487
ok so i hear some good answers. but to those bashing us for not networking i am going to tell you first hand, you can be a serious networker, completely plugged in, meyuchasdik thru the roof, and with money to offer and you still cant get a yes. so there is a crisis out there. and i m not just laying the blame on other people. the crisis exists.January 11, 2012 10:06 pm at 10:06 pm in reply to: If you've read "NASI Project Responds", have you changed your mind? #848073
part of the money should be a kickback to the boy. If you say yes to working with our shadchanim (exvlusively lets say) you get a kickback…January 11, 2012 10:04 pm at 10:04 pm in reply to: If you've read "NASI Project Responds", have you changed your mind? #848072
Poppa. we allow comments like that cuz its the most sensible point made so far. Yeshivos are not going to let go of their 20/21/22 yr olds and thats what needs to happen to put more eligable boys into the pool.January 11, 2012 9:44 pm at 9:44 pm in reply to: If you've read "NASI Project Responds", have you changed your mind? #848067
Az you still have not addressed my issue, which is we need yes es from guys! not attention from shadchanim Once you put this “bait” in front of them, just imagine whats goign to go on!! if it wasnt bad until now. you ask for a blonde tall out of towner who is in college, and you get a chasidishe lifer from williamsburg, cuz thats what she has in her inventory!!! so she sells you that. !! now for this ludicrous incentive she is REALLY gonna sell whats in her inventory. The problem is her inventory not her sales ability!!!! Wouldnt the money be better spent as an incentive to either boys, yeshivos (to compensate for them losing their bachurim early) or mothers of boys (which is where the REAL problem lies)
I personally think it stems from Jews not “farginning” the other. Why on earth would israel care if i bring in a bugaboo or city mini or whatever for my grandchild, niece, neighbor whatever. I understand you dotn want me bringing in ten Ipads to sell, but one stroller, give me a break. thats just anti charedi to me. i bet he wasnt a kippah sruga wearing kinda guy that Mike!!January 11, 2012 8:19 pm at 8:19 pm in reply to: If you've read "NASI Project Responds", have you changed your mind? #848056
Please AZ bechavod gadol, enlighten me. I am willing to throw money at this problem, although i am positive it is not the answer, nor do i know what you all want to do with all this money, and dont tell me operative costs. thats a joke. right here in this forum you have more advertising than Walmart!!, but if the money is only to get the shadchanim to pay more attention to my daughter,to that I say, they are paying attention to my daughter. and still no one gives a yes. the problem lies with the BOYS, or the yeshivos, or the mothers of boys.or how the system is orchestrated. Now, if you were asking me to put 11K $ in escrow and you would guarantee me a yes from a boy then i would say , sign me up. but for shadchanim to pay attention to my daughter for this exhorbitant fee is ludicrous. it will not solve anything, only make matters worse for all girls out there are suffering, even the thin, beautful, geshickt, meyuchasdik, wealthy 19 yr olds….
are you a charedi looking male? if so, that was your first mistake. i have brought in many stollers in ver the past year without getting stopped. i am a girl though. also , i always walk very briskly thru that area without making eye contact, usually distracted on my cell phone. If you travelled with your child, then this never should have happened. if you did not, you might be out of luck. its the same reason a city mini double costs 400 in america and 800$ in chasdei shmuel.!!!December 9, 2011 12:00 am at 12:00 am in reply to: what happens when a shadchan doesnt cooperate properly? #834074
for all you know, the shadchan wants that girl for her nephew!!!
Whole LOTS of issues here. but ill be brief. Number. One Skype is a bad idea. Maybe its ok for a first meeting,if you are desperate, but West coast guy and East coast girl have no business agreeing to a shidduch if neither of them can stop what they are doing to pursue it properly.(and i will go so far as to say follow it thru to the end) meaning about one month committment of your time. If you are both in graduate school (which is the only reason ,short of sitting shiva CV i can imagine preventing the trip. THEN DO NOT GO OUT!!! PERIOD> No matter how desperate the matzav is today, if you cannot make the full committment of going out and following up with dates, and parent meetings, then do NOT begin the parsha. Same goes for NY to Balto. or anywhere else for that matter. But say they were “dumb” enough to do that. the next issue is why did he call it off. THe shadchan deserves that answer. he does not have to agree, but he deserves that answer under most circumstances. and if in fact these skype meetings and phone calls were moving along in the direction of building some kind of relationship, then shadchan friend is correct, it is the boy’s responsibiltiy to “man up” and tell her whatever he thinks he should tell her to get off the hook with her. (of course , if this is something stupid, like his mother calling it off because she heard she once ditched class in 9th grade, then i feel sorry for him, to have to deal with a mother like that… but they do exist. Thats my two cents for whatever its worth. My biggest question here is why couldnt anyone get on a plane?