oomis

I said it before, I will say it again: Instead of looking at the negativity of taking a secular tune and putting Jewish lyrics to it, why can you not look at it as an elevation of kedusha for an otherwise nice melody, by infusing it with the Yiddishe tam of words of Tehillim or Shir Hashirim, etc.?

When I hear Gershon Veroba’s rendition of I Believe the Children are Our Future (a Whitney Houston song from long ago), referring to developmentally-challenged children, it brings tears to my eyes. Uncle Moishy uses MANY, MANY secular tunes (and from kids cartoon shows like Bob the Builder) to make lovely songs that the children remember and sing all the time.

Try not to be so judgmental of something that is really not hurting you. So what if they play Eye of the Tiger when the Chosson and Kallah come out. In a very frum crowd, most people do not even know the source of the song (and if they do – that means they are listening to that type of music on the radio!)

The part of the brain that affects stuttering in speech is not the same one as the part of the brain that a person uses for singing (i.e. as in laining). Mel Tillis, a famous country singing star, has a terrible stutter when he speaks, but never stutters at all when he sings, and docs explained it to him in the way that I just did here.

“In any event, it is a midas tznius by yarei shamayim as many people above testified personally witnessing Rabbonim and other yarei shmayim”

How do we know that this is being done for reasons of tznius and not something else? There was a time when ALL people in the USA referred to each other (even married couples) as Mr. or Mrs. So-and-So EVEN WHEN SPEAKING TO EACH OTHER. It was just their way. Many Rabbanim simply refer to their wives as Rebbetzin. That is their prerogative, but it does not make the name an untzniusdig thing.

There was a story of a talmid who went to his rebbie’s house for a Friday night meal and watched with awe as his rebbie ate exactly four spoons of soup from his bowl and no more. The talmid did likewise, because clearly there was some mystical reason for eating only four spoonfuls and no more, and of course, most of his soup was left in the bowl. After dinner, he approached his rebbie and asked him, “Rebbie, I noticed that you ate exactly four spoonsful of soup tonight. Please tell me, what is the significance of doing that? Is it kabbalah, or a segulah?” to which the rebbie replied, “I used a bigger spoon than you did.”

Sometimes there is a very simple reason for things that we observe gedolim doing, that has nothing to do with halacha, but is just a personal thing. I am not saying this is the case here, and there MIGHT be a tznius inyan for them, but maybe our Gedolim feel the need to behave a little more formally than the rest of us.

You speak about peer pressure and “most girls” as if their peers are not ALSO yeshiva girls. If they don’t go to B”Y, then they are not feeling any peer pressure, just peer fashion, and there is no pressure on them, they happily comply. If they DO go to B”Y, are you saying that most nice B”Y girls are not dressing b’tznius? Please clarify. Certain inyanim of tznius and fashion are a matter of opinion. Some opinions are different from others. For example, someone was constantly referring a year ago or so to the cap sleeves shirt or dress under which a long sleeved shirt is worn, as not being tzniusdig. So please tell me, in what way is that different from wearing a jumper with that same shirt? The jumper is sleeveless altogether.

“If that is the case YOU should insist on not being called by your first name in public. Arichas Yomim is certainly worth it.”

Now I know that a) kibud av v’em and b) shiluach hakan a re mitzvos that guarantee arichas yamim. I had not heard that not being called by my first name in public would guarantee that, too.

What posuk was that in, btw?

Just because….

it really is the country as opposed to the city.

I loved Be happy’s moshol. Excellent.

“ON a different note i also realized that people who claim to be openminded and accepting are everything BUT that when it comes to people that are frummer or keeping more chumros than them. Just an interesting observation! “

That is probably because some of the people who are keeping those chumros, generally tend to think of themselves as frummer (read: religiously better) than the person whom you think is not so openminded. No one likes to be looked down upon. And if you are honest with yourself, you will admit that this is how it sometimes is in the more charedi circles.

My son’s rebbie accused him of something in fifth grade, that even when the real culprit admitted that he was the guilty party and that my son was absolutely innocent of any type of wrongdoing, the rebbie still kicked my son out of class (but not the other boy). Anyone who knows my son well, knows that a) he has a VERY strong sense of fair play and b) he takes his davening kavanah VERY seriously. This issue related to something the other child did during davening, which the rebbie mistakenly thought he saw my son doing. We were called down to the school, and after listening carefully to the rebbie’s complaint and what he had to say, we asked him what our son had said to him when accused. He basically mumbled that ALL boys say they “didn’t do it,” when confronted. So we asked him, “But is that true this time? Didn’t the boy who did it come forward immediately and admit it was he and not my son who had disrupted the davening?” By the end of the meeting, and to his credit, I will tell you the rebbie said he was sorry to my son and to us. But this affected my son’s entire feeling about the class, about learning Mishnayos and Gemarah from someone who was not FAIR and didn’t seem to even WANT to believe him. Throwing him out of class was an especially bad move.

A rebbie has a tremendous achrayus. He can make or break a yeshivah child at a crucial age when he needs to be developing a love for Torah. If someone has hurt the poster, I say let him know how you feel, with derech eretz, and be prepared to hear the other side of the story, if the rebbie is willing to offer it after all this time (though I would not hold my breath). Sometimes, it is just good to vent on paper and tear it up afterwards.

“It should be quite simple. Once we could have said, “Imagine if you are going to the Godol Hador for a beracha. Would you be embarrassed to be wearing that?”

Yes, because the Gadol Hador HIMSELF might be embarrassed, and that is reason enough to refrain from doing so.

Kasha, I will tell you why my husband holds my hand when we walk down the street. It is because I have difficulty walking, and by holding my arm and hand, it helps to steady me when I have to walk a few blocks. No one knows that, when they see me walk down the street with him. And you know what – it is not their business or anyone else’s, for the matter, with all due respect. And one could argue that there is definite chibah on the part of my husband when he is assisting me to walk, but it is not the chibah that the Torah means when it discusses inyanim of tznius. There is chibah and there is chibah. Most people know when someone is crossing a line of appropriate behavior in public.

I think the sentencing is tomorrow, based on the decision made already today.

Yes, you should tip your son[s waiter. He is underpaid, and in some cases it used to be they were not paid at all (“But you’re having a free summer in the mountains!”). The tips WERE the salary.

I cannot for the life of me understand how ANYONE can discuss eating worms in cheese. If I see even one, I will toss the whole thing out. I have thrown away 10 lb bags of flour because I saw one flour beetle. Once I have seen it, it eckles me so much, I would literally have to be starving to even consider eating it (once I threw away the bug, of course).

Interestingly enough, in Loshon Kodesh there are NO four letter words (any such obscenities come from the Arabic languages). Yiddish is another story.

Bad language reflects the inability on the part of its user, to speak intelligently using other words. If frum people are speaking that way, it is not only that they have absorbed the local vernacular, it is that they are too blase to speak English properly. JMO

If you want to start another off the derech thread, then do it -but this is about mental health, which only marginally sometimes has to do with kids being OTD. Most OTD kids are not getting that way because of mental health issues and to think otherwise is to belittle the crisis we have of kids who disconnect from Judaism because of reasons that have nothing to do with emotional health.

If your friend needs thereapy, she should get it. She will surely not do well if she proceeds in a relationship when she is emotionally unhealthy. Yes, there unfortunately IS a stigma in many circles, depending on the problem. If something traumatic happened to her or a family member and caused emotional problems for her, that would not be the same type of issue as if she were bi-polar, for example. Many people suffer from anxiety, social or otherwise, and need therapy to help them through it and to learn to deal with it. That should certainly not be stigmatized. Many people are afraid of mental illness (and unfortunately, with good reason at times), so it is not a glatt issue. But no matter what, NO ONE should avoid getting the help they need for an emotional or physical problem.

Dr. Pepper, if that story was true – not nice. I tend to suspect ti was a joke.

I don’t think kids should be entrusted with tipping. They are notoriously careless, and may not even realize how important the tip is to the counselor. If the parents want to wait until the last day of camp to give out tips, they should give in sealed envelopes with their name and bunk on them, to the office with instructions for it to be handed to the counselor that last day after the kids board the buses. Each counselor could have a cubby for his envelopes and pick it up after camp.

“splenda is less problematic than SUGAR. Yes, IT is 16 calories per teaspoon, but how many of us measure ONLY a teaspoon in our coffee? ” (my words)

“oomis sugar has 16 cal per teaspoon, not splenda.

splenda is essentially calorieless ” (Mod 80)

You misunderstood what I posted – when I said that “it” has 16 calories per teaspoon, I WAS referring to sugar. I can see though, how you could misinterpret what I wrote – I was unclear and can see that when I re-read my original sentence, though it made sense to me at the time.

“oomis, if you want to debate with other women only and much less moderated, check out imamother. Its a great website for frum women with a ton of diversity”

Thanks, SJS, I am not really looking to debate with anyone. I am NEVER controversial 😉 (I will look up the site you mentioned, thanks – how do I get to it?).

The State of Confusion, mostly.

I believe that SOME people suffer from an eating disorder that is a disease. But I think a large number of girls who apepar to

have the disorder, don’t have the disease of anorexia, but the emotional need to be a size zero, beause that’s what shidduchim

and our society presently demand of them. That is a cause and effect that can be remedied by our society looking at healthy weights for girls, and teaching them from a very young age to respect and protect their bodies.

Rabbonim should give a mussar shmuz to their bochurim and tell them it is OSSUR to look for a girl who is so thin that if she stood sideways she could pass through a closed doorframe. Tell the shadchanim NOT to redt shidduchim with girls who are deliberately making themselves be at such an unhealthy weight. Stress healthy eating habits from day one. Watch out for mothers of boys and girls who are themselves stick thin, lest they impart unhealthy expectations of what a normal healthy person should look like and weigh, to their children. Many mothers of this type bully their daughters into dieting when the girls are perfectly normal looking.

Halacha does not change – the societal (and rabbinical) interpretation of certain aspects of halacha, do have a tendency to undergo metamorphoses of sorts, givent he time, the place, and the basic community standards. There are certain lines that can never be crossed, but the wearing or lack thereof of legwear is subject to interpretation.

If you post something too controversial, it will not be posted. The moderators have been either heavily editing posts or not allowing the posts to go through, if they deem them to be unworthy, for whatever reason. That is their prerogative, though I wish they would allow us to be adults.

You have other options out there.

We know that what Hashem does for us is always for the good, but that does not mean that is WAS something good. A potch on a child’s rear might also be for his own good, if necessary, but it is not an intrinsically good thing to hit a child, even on a padded spot. The Holocaust was NOT a good thing, but from hashem’s perspective and reasoning, we know it was for a good reason, to which we are as yet not privy.

I would like to point out to anyone who tells store owners of “kosher” stores to change their labeling and packaging, that not everyone who shops in those stores is frum or even Jewish. I have shopped in Boro Park many times where I saw clearly non-Jewish people in the store. The stores have to appeal to a broader group than just the Lakewood people.