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get a whole loaf, freeze it until it is somewhat hard, but still easy to cut, then use a long serrated knife to slice it horizontally.
There IS an unspoken code that you never go out with your friend’s ex. BUT – you say she said it was ok with her, though clearly she does feel hurt (which is to be expected, as he broke an engagement to her). The only thing that will help her is for her to be involved with the RIGHT zivug for herself. Until then, it will probably continue to hurt her. I am sorry for your situation, because this clearly is shterring the complete happiness you deserve to feel in finding the right guy for you. But if you look at it from her standpoint, it is painful for her to watch you with the guy who got away. This is not an easy situation, and will require great sensitivity on your part, as well as that of the fellow you are dating.
Correct me if I am mistaken, but is there not an inyan that we also rely on the intrinsic behavior of the birds, i.e. their manner of walking and or flying (if they actually do fly), and what they eat, to determine if they are kosher? Also, the flying creatures that are not kosher were listed by name in the Torah. Has a turkey ever been identified as one of those names?????
I know for a fact that several women have had permanent eyeliner or eyebrows tatooed on, and in each case they asked shailas and were told it was halachically permissible, because it is NOT under the umbrella of k’soves kaaka, which was done in ancient times by Ovdei Avoda Zara as part of their rituals of A”Z.
The women who have permanent eyebrow makeup are primarily doing it for the purpose of replacing something that they are missing due to chemotherapy or skin conditions that destroyed the follicles. Others have permanent eyeliner or lipstick and sometimes flesh colors tatooed over an unsightly birthmark, which sounds very painful to me for them to do, but if they have a heter, who am I to judge?
I am with Bubby B. I agree with her entire post
I have no problem with the expression “u’ra-ah-yaso” per se, but the chosson and kallah were not born in a vacuum. There is nothing inherently untznisudig in mentioning the mothers’ names. IMO in this specific isntance, it is only untzniusdig if you THINK it to be so, and I think we are going a little overboard in this, when we talk about a simple invitation (whioch does not even have a picture of the wife on it), which clearly comes from both the father AND the mother. Just my opinion. Please do not shoot the messenger.
Udder (had it at a mesorah dinner)”
Udderly disgusting!
Mod 20 – what gave me away??????
Something that LOOKS disgusting but is so yummy – Sweetbreads looks like brains (is really the thymus gland), but so good.
Absolutely. And I made gravy for the turkey from the pan drippings mixed with a little cooking sherry and potato starch, and also made pumpkin pie, apple pie, cranberry sauce with mandarin oranges, cloves and cinnamon, a pot of brown and wild rice, bread stuffing, pareve scalloped potatoes, a fresh fruit platter, and corn kugel.
Except for Purim, this is the only meal that everyone is off and able to drive over and more importantly…leave at the end of the meal, LOL. I had 15 people for dinner, two were an older married couple who are on their own and who would have dined alone. I invite them to my sedarim also and most yomim tovim for at least one meal.
There is no reason not to have a nice dinner today, and no reason to not make it a turkey meal (healthy and loads of tryptophan). We should be thankful to live in a time and place where people do not prevent us from being a frum Yid.I might not actually
“celebrate” turkey day, but I certainly do enjoy spending it with family and friends.
Yekke
I have a better question. The malachim are malachei Elokim they are spiritual and powerful beings with a shlichus from Hashem, why on earth would they need “Lots pritection?!”
They didn’t, but LOT didn’t know that!
I think that fruity jello molds made with vegetables are weird. I don’t eat OR like them.
What’s weird about kasha? I LOVE IT!
Off topic, but why do girls dress nicer for a wedding than they do for Shabbos Kodesh”
Do a kallah and chosson not dress up more than for a typical Shabbos? Clearly the chassunah has a certain sartorial status that begs the wearing of a certain type of clothing. Nonetheless, people SHOULD dress up for Shabbos in their best clothing, even if not wedding style.
(Also, some girls want to make Shidduchim, and they will be seen by and converse with more people at the wedding than on a typical Shabbos at Shul)
Some of you folks just can’t think out of the box. “
Yeah, the crackerjacks box!
I would not waste my time. Didn’t we learn ANYTHING from the massive loss of material possessions this past month? Black Friday is just an excuse to put more money in the hands of the retailers, by sucking us in. Now, if you want to go wait in line to buy a new appliance at low cost for either yourself or even better, for someone who LOST their washer-dryer, oven, etc., then I will say no more.
Old man is right. It hurts, it’s sad that you and your husband apparently are treated differently from the other siblings, especially in light of how you describe your kibud Av and even extended to grandparents (as it should be). But it is not your money, they can do what they want with it, no matter how frustrating this is. B”H you have parents of your own who want to help you where possible. It always seems to work out that the ones who have the least want to give the most. Hashem should bless them (and you) with the wherewithal to easily afford to help you when needed, and even more, to help you not to NEED help from anyone.
The “cease fire” was just announced as taking place at 9 PM (hmm…wonder why not earlier than that). I am sick that Egypt is involved, not to mention our good friend Hillary.
I do not like them, and didn’t like them when they were in style the first time around.
This is just sour grapes talking. I hate that Obama has another four years to mess us up, but he was elected nonetheless, and we have to make the best of this situation. The election should never have taken place when it did. Romney’s momentum was interrupted by the storm. But let’s be realistic – if we are Yidden of true bitachon, then we believe that Obama would never have been re-elected had this not been Hashem’s Will.
The secret ingredient was avira d’Ar-ah.
Do not EVER talk about former bad dates or any of your ex-boyfriends/girlfriends.
I am looking for a water challah recipe that tastes like the ones I used to get for Shabbos in E”Y in my seminary days. There is no challah like the ones in E”Y. Must be the wheat…
Of all the kol korays that have been issued in recent years, I am beyond shocked that our illustrious rabbanim have not issued one against this untzniusdig practice. NOBODY should be staring at a girl’s picture (or guy’s either), for purposes of deeming how ATTRACTIVE they are. It is one thing to meet someone face to face and be attracted or not. It is quite another to be examining a photo for such a purpose, and possibly reject someone SOLELY based on their looks, without even trying to get to know them.
Done. May our sonim know the full force of Hashem’s Strength.
1) cup of hot coffee with cream and sweetener
2) loaf of fresh-baked still warm water challah with sesame seeds
3) steak, broiled medium rare
4) night’s sleep with a new baby
5) shiur
(not necessarily in that order)
Assuming that what you were told is not merely heresay or loshon hara, do you know for a fact that the girl is UNAWARE of his issues (if any)? You are, as was eloquently pointed out, VERY much nogaya badavar. As such, you may be suspected of having a hidden agenda (even if you do not). Let someone else who has investigated the facts of the matter, broach a word of caution to the parents. It may very well be the girl and her family know more about him than you think.
both are correct.
Hi to all. I am truly touched by your concern. As my dear friend TBB told you, I have just returned to my home B”H after too many days away. We lost power and heat, but chasdei Hashem had no realy damage other than the doorframe swelling, so we have a bit of trouble opening, closing, and locking/unlocking it. I did lose a freezer’s worth and 2 fridge’s worth of food, but when I see what others have lost, I am humbled.
I appreciate that ZK and others were worried. I had no available internet where I was, and I decided Hashem was encouraging me to reassess how I spend my free time. It IS a churban out here. I ahve friends who saw their possessions floating away, lost their cars, the entire contents of the bottoms of their homes, and major appliances. The reconstruction will take them weeks, if not months, and it has taken a great emotional toll on them.
BUT – the gam zu l’tovah is that I have been zochah to see the most amazing acts of extraordinary chessed and ahavas Yisroel being done, by total strangers. I have also learned a great lesson, which I mentioned to a local Rosh Yeshivah as we stood outside and watched the utility people attempt to restore some power. Obama THINKS he has power. Achmedinejad believes he has power. Donald Trump and his fellow millionaires/billionaires are convinced THEY have power. None of them has power. Only the Aibishter does. We saw the force of that power unleashed, as we went from one weather extreme to another in a matter of days, sometimes even in the same day. It is a sobering thought. It is uplifting, though to realize how we Jews come together to help each other in crisis. Mi k’Amcha, Yisroel!
Again, thank you all for your concern. I hope none of you has suffered any serious losses, if any, as a result of this hurricane and its aftermath.
Litvishe K”Y, actually British IS more authentic than American English, as it came first.
It’s still scary. Last time I remember a real hurricane it was erev succos time (might have been erev Shabbos, a couple fo days before Succos). I recall staying at my parents’ home after picking up the lulavim and esrogim for my husband and son, and then racing to get there during a horrific rain, which suddenly stopped, the sun came out, and we had an “eye” of sunshine and calm for about 20 minutes, during which time we ran back quickly to check on our apartment, and then get back to my folks.
ZK, I find it hard to believe that you would be so fearsome IRL. I stand by my original assessment.
it, the point was how hsould mrs. katz deal with a controlling personality. “
I would like to hear from Mrs. Katz Senior, the MIL. There are two sides to every story. (Not saying the youngert Mrs. K. is not presenting her side accurately, but perceptions can vary with each person’s subjective perspective. I bet the MIL would be horrified to know her DIL feels this way, and has no idea she feels insulted.
Oomis, which one, the real one here or the fake one in real life?”
I certainly like “Zeeskite the poster” here, and I suspect I would feel likewise about the same poster IRL. 🙂
This is so sad. Yasher koach to you for the sensitivity you are showing.
EVERYONE PLEASE BE SAFE! Hashem should guard us all from harm.
Amein to that. I am nervous as we are in a coastal neighborhood. But I also really do not want to leave. last time, it waserev Shabbos, and we had no breirah to take a chance. But now we are watching and waiting to see how things develo
p.
“OY” seems to be Yeshivish in nature. The cholam is the most authentic pronunciation from the sephardim, who are widely held to be closest to the original. If it were Choylam, then that would have been the mesorah all along, I would tend to think.
I like you, Zeeskite.
Whatever one holds (no pun intended) regarding negiyah, it makes NO difference if the woman is pretty or plain, fat, thin, tall, short, blonde, brunette, or redhead. If something is assur, it is assur, not assur EXCEPT when the woman is unattractive.
Attractiveness is very subjective, and there are some very plain-looking people who are extremely attractive to SOMEONE. Just look at a lot of the shidduchim you see randomly. You might wonder what any of them saw in each other. That is the beauty of Hashem, who enables zivugim to find each other, even when others might not “get” the attraction. It is for that reason that we cannot rationalize that it is not oveir negiyah if the woman is not so pretty(maybe the McDonald’s cheesebruger wasn’t so treif, if I didn’t enjoy it). There are plenty of men who might not find a woman attractive, but still might have improprer thoughts if they came into physical contact with her (And maybe even if they did not actually come into contact, who is to say?).
Whatever we do, we make a conscious choice to follow or not to follow what the halacha is and cannot rationalize our actions away, but need to be hoenst with ourselves.
I did not gift a gift in this situation, and the bride was my husband’s niece. We also did not go to the wedding, and there were some repercussions for a while, until my sister-in-law’s husband passed away.
SYL how cute is that!!!!!
If we elect him it will make him ROM(v’)NEY(saw) – or
Rom(v’)nasi
would presume somebody who gets divorced over trivial reasons is far riskier to marry than someone who divorces over a reason that’s serious”
I don’t necessarily disagree with you. it may be, however, ther easons are “trivial” because the couple is still too immature to get married, a phenomenon which we see more and more, as couples who are not independent are getting married too young, and really are only playing at marriage. They are for whatever reason not ready for the real challenges of married life. And my generation has done that to many of them, by fostering a co-dependency on the parents. Serious reasons do not often manifest themselves until the couple has really gotten to know each other. That often does not happen until after marriage nowadays.
Yeihareig v’al yaavor, includes Aveiros of Kareis, as far as I know. “
If that is so, then why are there supposedly only THREE Y”VY, avoda zara, shfichus damim, and arayos (which all seem to be interconnected, by the way, as one can lead to the other two)? Again, I am NOT being sarcastic? We do not learn these things in depth in Girls’ Yeshivah classes or even in Seminary, but I have never hear my own rov say what has been asserted here by some, and I intend to ask him about it.
Imagine a parent saying i will pay your rent but only if you live in a particular place? i will pay tuition but only in a certain school. i accept that this is not quite the same, but any parent who decides things for their grandchildren is overstepping her boundaries. “
Believe it or not, there ARE parents who do exactly that. Their gifts come with strings attached. And I believe that is very wrong. There is a world of difference between that and buying shoes for grandchildren. Ask yourself WHY you feel the parents do not want their kids to have the shoes. we are not talking about them spoiling them with an Xbox or Disney Vacation, or even unnecessary designer jeans, just a pair of Shabbos shoes. Way too much fuss is being made over this, in my very humble opinion.
And just as an aside, though it’s really not a big deal, my screen name is oomis (a nickname form of “ema”)
Shmendrick, I do not presume to either agree or disagree with a Gadol. I follow piskei halacha. And I, as most people, have been taught all my life that the religion always follows the mother. If she is a Yid her child is a FULL Yid. Perhaps there is an exception when speaking of someone fathered by one of the nations not allowed to be part of K’hal Yisrael. But I doubt one could easily find an authentic Moabite these days.
I will humbly admit to not understanding all the things you quoted, but I suggest you speak to your Rov and ask point blank if the child of a Jewish woman is Jewish or not.
Gilui arayos (i.e, adultery) are yeihareig v’al yaavor aveiros. If in fact, you are correct in the assertion that even the shaking of a woman’s hand is considered the same level and one should die before doing that, then please explain to me why a man who seduces an unmarried woman (non-arusah)is supposed to marry her, and they are not put to death, as would be someone who was guilty of the aforementioned arayos. I imagine he would rather be forced to get married, than allow himself to be killed (well, in most cases, anyway).
You know how people research shidduchim to death? Well when the shidduch is with someone who was previously married and divorced, that research actually makes more sense. Surely people in the community and family members on both sides can offer some insight. Former friends of the couple from his and her side can be approached. I am not saying it is easy, but asking the person directly (after a couple of dates) is not out of order.
Shirley Jackson had an excellent story “The Lottery,” qhich I rememebr reading around that time.It was about a special lottery in which everyone in town participated. The story has a real twist ending.
A good novel was The Westing Game, I don’t recall the author, but I read it before I allowed my then Middle-Schooler read it, as I was unfamiliar with it. It is like an Agatha Christie mystery for younger students, but as an adult I also enjoyed it.
Can’t think
Brain dumb
Inspiration won’t come,
No words,
Bum pen,
Best wishes,
Amen.
A person contemplating marrying a divorce(e) has every right to know what happened (and to find out from BOTH sides, if possible), just as one has the right to know why an engagement broke up. There could be “insignificant” issues, i.e. she is not the best cook, he doesn’t like to go out much (not really insignificant, but compared to really serious things it surely is not something we would think of as a deal-breaker)or it could be something along the lines of someone having a mental or physical health issue which was deliberately not disclosed prior to the wedding, or perhaps the in-laws are excessively interfering. These are things the person has every right to research.