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Aurora, Psalm 23 is a beautiful one – you can say it, confident in the knowledge that it is a thoughtful thing to do. I have already davened for the victims of this tragedy and their families. I include the killer’s mother in this. Hashem Yeracheim.
I think an Israeli-trained security guard (or two) would be a far better choice.
Isn’t that in Pirkei Avos? Mt rov explained to me that this is the ONLY way in which a Yid can be mekayeim the whole Torah, because there are mitzvos that are specific to some individuals and not others (such as mitzvos incumbent on Kohanim, bechorim, women,people who live in E”Y but not in Galus, etc.). By learning Torah, however (Talmud Torah), one has fulfilled the equivalent of even those mitzvos that he could not necessarily otherwise be mekayeim.
OY VEY
This sounds so yummy — you must make loaves for all of us…(pretty please).
MAZEL TOV, what a lovely way to end Chanukah, hearing such news. May you and your kallah be zochim to build a B”NB.
It is natural to be more concerned with our own than with others, just as we would be mroe concerned with our own immediate mishpacha, versus other Jewish families. Kal v’chomer, Jews over non-Jews. But that said, no one could possibly listen to these reports and not feel anhuish for ALL the families including those of the adults who were martyred, even as they tried to save the children.
For a crime he did NOT commit, remember…
Pops, what is “spent grain,” forgiving my ignorance? (Yes, contrary to popular belief, I do not know everything).
Correction: The Reform aren’t Jewish and they have zero interest in keeping halacha or having anything to do with Torah life. “
With all due respect to you, you are the one in need of correction. Reform Jews are no less Jews than the most Chareidi of Yidden. They may,as you say, have zero interest in keeping halacha, but they do not lose their Jewish status for committing that aveira. It is sad that they, who are fully Jewish, may be causing others to be nichshal by allowing them to THINK they have converted to Judaism. Those “converts” are the ones who are not Jewish, not the ones who are born as Jews but live like Goyim.
This tragedy goes beyond the pale. I was reminded of the children of Maalot. A parent sends a child off to school, never dreaming R”L that child will never come home. I cannot even express how this sickens me.
There was more than one “Jewish name” among the victims. But even one CHILD, Jewish or not, twists my kishkes. I cried like a baby when I heard the news reports. How terrified they must have been. Truly the boogeyman come to life. My heart goes out to the families of ALL the victims, children and adults alike.
Please get the donut recipe. We LOVE custard donuts here.
The cheesecake sounds pretty good, too.
I have believe it or not NOT yet made latkes this Chanukah. I made other foods in oil, so I feel I am yotzeis, and will make them for the last day wehn my family is coming over.
Now if you want a delicious Chicken Marsala… I make a really good one – my original recipe.
If each day only 1/8 of the oil burned for an entire day, then the 8th day was as miraculous as the first.
I like the idea that we should look for the miraculous in our day to day experiences. It IS a miracle that oil will light, even if only for one day. It is a miracle that water will put out a fire. It is a miracle that most of us go to sleep at night and wake up the next morning. The laws of Nature are a miracle. But IMO, the fact that the laws were suspended in such a way as to cause a strong flame to burn using only an 1/8 of the fuel, is TRULY miraculous.
The first day’s miracle was also that amidst such massive tumah and shmutz, that somehow ONE single cruse of oil was even able to be found with the Kohein’s seal still upon it, untouched, and pure. I to a MUCH lesser degree l’havdil, experienced a taste of this kind of miracle when we were burglarized many years ago.
The burglar(s) had taken all my jewelry, everything in the bedroom was tossed around and wrecked, in shambles. I was heartbroken, that my lifetime gifts of gold jewelry (more sentimentally important to me than anything else) were gone.
Especially upsetting was the loss of a ring my mom O”H had given me when her mother was nifteres. My Bubby lived with us for over 2 decades, and when she took ill that last year, I had the zechus of taking care of her much of the time. It was my personal Yerusha from Bubby and I wore it as happily as she did. The theft of that one ring brought me to wracking sobs. I know jewelry should not be THAT important, but it was a symbolic loss of HER all over again.
Imagine my shock and profound relief and gratitude to Hashem when I began to clean up the bedroom, after the cops left, and as I knelt down to pick up some clothing that had been strewn around, found that precious ring, that apparently had fallen out of their “loot” bag. It was the only thing left of all my jewelry, other than my wedding ring, that I had been wearing. I will not compare the finding of that ring to the finding of one flask of pure olive oil, but it gives me some small measure of the simcha and relief the Chashmonaim must have felt at that time.
I think that the reason would be that this is the YESHIVAH WORLD coffee room, not the Modern Orthodox Machmir or Mekeil CR. I agree with you that it often appears that one side is being given bigger latitude to expressing itself, than another. But this IS a site that comes with a certain hashkafa and agenda as it were, and whether or not we might all agree hashkafically, we have to recognize the source behind the site. If you want to post on a less restrictive blog, you will have to find a non-moderated group.
I am not Yeshivish, and I have often felt that certain opinions expressed strongly here, were not in line with my own religious hashkafa (i.e., I don’t see denim skirts per se as untzniusdig). But I also recognize that on a Yeshivish site, perhaps others might feel differently, and I respect our differences.
The expression means “having the upper hand,” the control of a situation. Often, girls are too eager to please, so guys feel like they have the control. But after the chasunah we know who is mostly in charge…
“does anybody here flip their latkes in the air sometimes? “
I also sing AYOH and spin the dreidel.
I actually have thought about this (though ti is a secular date).There will never again in this millenium be such a date.
There is no justification for a Yid committing such an egregious and despicable act of violence, much less against another Yid, no matter WHAT the provocation.
It would depend on the cause of that pain. If it is really serious, some medical intervention may be necessary.
In the olden days, all frum women wore ankle length skirts. ALL women wore ankle length skirts. Today, some people feel that it calls attention to the woman, in the same way that a short skirt would. I don’t get that reasoning, especially since it was tzanua in the past.
“Frei person who lives a good moral life”- that is a contradiction in terms – you can’t be moral not following Torah”
Really? So a non-Jew who follows the 7 Mitzvos of Bnei Noach is not a moral person, despite not following the rest of the Torah? And a Jew who is lacking in shmiras Shabbos and Kashrus, and whose wife does not attend mikvah, but who otherwise is completely honest in all his business and personal dealings, does acts of kindness, gives charity, believes in a Higher Power, but is nonetheless frei, cannot possibly be a moral person?
I would not say such a person fulfills all his Torah obligations bein adam laMakom, but that does not make him immoral.
A feilichen lichtigen Chanukah to all, whether your girls light or not!!!!!!!!!!
Just go out and stop researching everyone to death. Meet any girls who sounds like she might be shayach. Pictures lie, some people who are gorgeous do not photograph well, some look great in pics but not in person AND SO WHAT????? The emphasis on seeing the pics to see if the girl is attractive, is a terrible chisaron in our frum society today. For people who are so worried about tznius, this seems to me to be extremely counterproductive to fostering a climate of tznius. No one should be ogling girls’ pictures…
“First of all, why did you say “disagree” -when I just posted that I told my girls to light (if they wanted to) and not my wife?
Are you not able to comprehend my post?”
B”H Health, I am fully compis mentis (sp?) and comprehended your post quite well, thank you. Nevertheless, you did post the following:
“OOmis -LOOk Up! Plenty of Shittos saying Women and Girls Should Not light and it isn’t Mehudar.”
Perhaps I should have said that my Rov disagrees with those SHITTOS (and not you personally for having mentioned them), and that he believes it IS mehudar. In any event, we do not do it. I do doubt that people cannot tell what day of Chanukah it is if there are several menorahs lit. It’s pretty obvious, if the menorah is visible. And for the sake of those who pass by and see the menorahs, the mitzvah of pirsuma d’nisah is on the pirsumah itself isn’t it, not in how many candles are burning.
A ger is a Jew. Treat a ger with the same Ahavas Yisroel and chessed that ALL Jews deserve. That might also mean divorcing that person, NOT because he or she is a GER, but because the marriage is irretrievably broken down, and it is a mitzvah d’Oraisah to give a get to a wife when called-for.
There is no tzaddik who has not committed an aveira. Likewise a ger who is sincere in the desire to be a frum Jew, may err, as do we all, but that does not take away from the geirus. BTW, one of the things that is said to a potential ger (my understanding, that is)is “Why do you want to be a Jew? You can be a wonderful non-Jew by following the 7 mitzvos of Bnei Noach and not be responsible if you don’t keep the mitzvos of the Torah. But the moment you are misgayeir, then you will be punished if you transgress.”
Logic dictates that if the above is said to a Ger-wannabe, that it means that once he or she is a Yid, it is for all time (again assuming the geirus was sincere l’chatchilah). FFB Jews commit aveiros and go OTD all the time, unfortunately. So might Geirim.
Sturgeon happens to be a nonkosher fish we eat caviar from. (Although sturgeon is/was considered kosher by some, similar to the case of swordfish). “
I have a feeling you meant to say that it happens to be a non-kosher fish which is often a source for caviar for people who like caviar (but since it is overwhelmingly not accepted as kosher, frum Jews do not utilize that source).
My deepest sympathy to you. I would point out, though, that when one suffers from a true addiction, though they must be held accountable to a degree for their actions, the addiction controls them and not vice versa.
I do not, nevertheless, believe that addiction is a disease, in spite of what the AMA would have us say politically correctly. It is not a disease to smoke that first marijuana cigarette, or swallow that first amphetamine. It may be that one person’s body reacts more quickly addictively to a drug than another, and maybe one person can metabolize alcohol more easily than another, but NO ONE FORCES ANYONE TO ABUSE ALCOHOL AND DRUGS. Ditto for internet inappropriate websites.
The only person who has my rachmonus is one who becomes addicted to painkillers while suffering after an accident or serious illness. For them it starts out innocently. But as soon as their behavior reflects ill purpose, there the pity stops.
I don’t know what your ex was addicted to, but whatever it was, it ruined your marriage and gave you great agmas nefesh, and for that I am so saddened.
Medicine is medicine. My rov paskens that if the doc says to take it, you take it. And if it is a sick child – unquestionably! I am heartsick when I see people who let little children suffer with fever or headaches on Shabbos because they don’t want to give them tylenol or ibuprofen because “you can’t give medicine on Shabbos.” That is being a chosid shoteh. And that is my rov’s opinion, not merely mine.
OOmis -LOOk Up! Plenty of Shittos saying Women and Girls Should Not light and it isn’t Mehudar.
I personally – when I was married – gave my girls the choice, but not my wife. I think they lit until Bas Mitzva, but not after that. “
My Rov disagrees with you about girls lighting,and there are also shittos that it SHOULD be done (we don’t in my family, but that is our choice). He agrees that married women should not, but believes that the more members who each have his/her own menorah, the more mehudar the fulfillment of the mitzvah.
With all due respect – nonsense.
As far as I know, there is no issur for women to light, Married women typically do not, because they and their husbands are considered as one. But there is no reason for the other female members of the household not to light, and it is mehudar for there to be several menorahs shining.
I am with Zahasvasdad and SaysMe.
Latkes are eaten either with sour cream (my preference) or applesauce. Anything else is “k’lo derech hateva” (or hataiveh, either) 😉
As the daughter, sister, and mother of chanzzanim, I can tell you one thing. You need to always check with the rov of the Shul in which you take a position, to see what the SHUL minhag is. Never mind your own minhagim. If your strong feeling is to daven one way or another, then you can obviously only take a position in a Shul that shares your particular vision.
When you daven for the Omud, you are the shaliach tzibur, with the emphasis being on the tzibur. Your own hashkafa is secondary to theirs, assuming their hashkafa is in line with halacha. When Eliezer was the shaliach for Avraham Avinu and was mekadeish Rivka on behalf of Yitzchak, he had to put his own desires aside, and do what was the will of the person he was representing. Think about that for the moment, and I am sure you will come to a reasonable conclusion about what you need to do, and what you can accept doing.
Most people, rebdoniel, used to order their furniture for the baby (crib, dresser, carriage, etc.) in advance of the birth, putting a down payment on it, then have it delivered right after the birth. If we didn’t do this in advance, we ran the risk of not being able to get these items when they were immediately needed. I am not sure what most people do nowadays, but I have seen MANY pregnant young women and their moms at Chinese auctions putting tickets down on these items.
You can look at this as ayin hara as you mentioned, OR you could look at this as having true emunah that Hashem is watching out for the baby.
What about a port-a-crib (not a Pack and play, but a real mini crib)? I used one for many years along with a big crib. The Portacrib was used by my parents until we were able to buy an additional crib to keep by them, and then I used it as a second crib when I had babies 18 months apart. It really served us very well.
The Maxi Cosi is very easy to use.
toi, I am not telling you to date or not date someone who is seriously overweight. The concept of “fat” is quite subjective, however. Look at any Rubens painting, and you will see women who by today’s standards would be considered pretty overweight, yet in centuries past, this was the paradigm of beauty.
You judge today (as do so many people) by the standards that have been unreasonably set by Hollywood, the fashion industry, and some really overzealous mothers of boys. It is unfair, and causes many a young man to disregard a potential shidduch with a girl who might be as little as 5-10 lbs. heavier than the girl wearing the size 2 dress. When I was in the dating world, a size 2 would have been considered anorexic-looking. Most young women were at least sizes 6-10 with 10 being the average and also being considered VERY attractive and healthy. Now that number strikes ridiculous fear in the hearts of the boys, the girls, and the shadchanim. Nonsense.
And need I remind you that even the size ZERO girl can go up to a 26, after several children. You might do the same. btw, AND lose your hair. Maybe the prospective female shidduchim should check out the male pattern baldness in the boys’ families, lest that be a turnoff.
Here’s a thought – why don’t young men and women simply go out, get to know each other, and THEN see if they like each other enough to continue dating? It just might result in a happy marriage for many.
We didn’t win :::sniff:::
No, since the wife willingly and lovingly agrees to forgo that in honor of his Torah study – which she receives equal credit for.”
A woman may agree to whatever she chooses, but the loshon of the kesubah is not acknowledging that choice. So from that specific standpoint,I agree that the chosson is not being truthful l’chatchilah as PER the kesubah. I think this is something that should be written in and signed by th kallah, so it is there in black and white that she is maskima to this. BTW, why do we suppose the mechabrim of the present-day kesubah did NOT feel compelled to add that disclaimer in? Could they perhaps not have been proponents of married life that made the demand upon the wife to provide financial support?
It depends on the situation, your age, and the way you generally accept or reject potential shidduchim. One of my daughters who is 5’2″, really prefers to date guys at least 5’8″ or more. But she HAS accepted dates with guys her own height or just slightly taller, so as to be more flexible. She has come to recognize by doing that, that guys who are that short make her feel physically uncomfortable, when she is at eye level with them. This is a purely subjective issue, and no one should be faulted for it.
HOWEVER, if a girl is rejecting guy after guy becuase he is not 6′ tall, she should ask herself how serious she is about meeting a nice guy. Not all guys can be tall, just as not all girls can be blonde and blue-eyed (or size 2).
I don’t think we have an option to “stay logged in”.
I didn’t have to log in THIS time – it happens compeltely randomly. SO it would seem that the option to “remember me” IS supposed to do just that.
Popa, popa, popa
Mods, I have an OT question. I am having to continually log in in order to post, where I have checked the “remember me” box (or whatever it says), so I should not have to log in each time. Why is that happening?
OT!!!!!
So I think remember me means that it will populate the login box, but you still have to enter your password each time, unless you have your browser remembering that. I don’t think we have an option to “stay logged in”.
The Torah says in Bereishis that a wife follows her husband’s rule. “
Yeah, that was in the days the husband was following Hashem’s rule that HE was to earn the parnassah while she had the children and ran the home. 😉
I hold it’s Ossur.”
Unless you are also a Rov in addition to being in the health field, B”H what you hold does not have any impact on the women I was thinking about. Do you also object to women spending thousands of dollars over the course of time, to buy NON-permanent makeup?
(wait, you probably do)
The issue was brought up striclty from the halachic view. Maybe Chassidim should not spend a fortune on fur shtreimlech. Maybe no one should pay a fortune to someone to find a shidduch for them. Maybe none of us should ever pay to eat out in a restaurant (surely you can cook at home!). And definitely no one should ever pay to go on a vacation of any type.
The cost is not the inyan, the halacha of tatooing is. And int he cases I mentioned, the women were permitted to do so.
Happy birthday, belatedly. I could use a bracha or two right now.
B’shaa tova. Always lovely to hear about babies coming. Any type of Snap and Go that snaps into the carseat base, turns into a stroller, and can be carried without having to move the baby, is a bracha!!!! A pac and play is a good choice in lieu of a crib for the first several months, as it is very portable.
DON’T use old fashioned type nipples on baby bottles (for when you bottlefeed your own expressed milk or formula, something I STRONGLY recommend you get the baby used to doing, because there WILL be times you are not available to nurse the baby, even if you might not think so). Get the MAM or Nuk type nipples, they are silicon nipples shaped like a real nipple during a feeding, and it is really better for the baby’s oral muscle development. Above all, make sure you take some Mommy time for yourself after the baby is born. Your husband can give a bottle feeding (yes the Medela pump is a great idea, but you can more inexpensively buy an Evenflow electric pump and it works almost as well).
during the night, so you can get some sleep.