oomis

oomis – I’m curious to know what your stories of hashgacha are…any specific ones come to mind?”

I posted them in the past, would not want to bore anyone here by rpeating the entire megillah, but VERY basically, my father O”H was zocheh to amazing H”P in the army, where he was in the Intelligence division and captured a Nazi whose villa was filled with paintings (of his family) that had been painted over klafim of Sifrei Torah. The first one that my father O”H found, was painted over the klaf containing his own bar-mitzvah Parsha, PArshas Shemini.

Parshas Shemini (Toras Hakohanim)has since that time been a recurring theme in my family, which is a family of Kohanim. All the male children in the family who had at least one grandparent on the other side who was a Holocaust survivor, were born either on Parshas Shemini or on one of the two other Parshios that my father found that day (Acharei Mos and Kedoshim), all from three separate Sifrei Torah. In addition, my mother O”H was herself born to one of those Parshios, and was nifteres on Shabbos Parshas Shemini. My daughter reached the age of bas mitzvah bo bayom on Shabbos Shemini a couple of years later.

There are other stories as well, but perhaps another time.

oomis: very nice! (did you mean Tof?)

yes, but I have heard it pronounced as Tov (tawv) also.

As an aside – the way we pronounce the name of the letter just after Reish, is supposed to be Tzaddi, but everyone says Tzaddik because it preceedes a kuf. I bet most of us do not really know the correct exact pronunciation of some of the letters of the aleph bet.

Owning an Iphone is not an avayra.”

response:

“Maybe it is. Maybe it isn’t. That’s not the point. If he is did sin, then he belongs getting rid of it as part of his teshuva. If he doesn’t then it isn’t sincere teshuva. “

my response to the response:

That is exactly the point. If what he did was NOT an aveira, then what teshuva do you feel he has to be doing?????? Unless by ALL accounts owning these items is an aveira, there is no teshuva needed, sincere or not.

I don’t recall if I ever posted this, but when I was in Seminary many decades ago, my father Z”L, sent me a letter (yes, we still used snail mail in those days)in time for Rosh Hashana, and started it off with a short D”T. He said that in the word BREISHIS is contained the essence of why Hashem created the world.

He Created/Barah – Beis, Reish, Aleph, Shisha (Sidrei Mishnah) – Shin, 10 (Dibros) – (Yud), and it all comprises the Torah – Tov.

I really liked that one.

I wanted to meet Murphy, but on the way there, my car ran out of gas, my cell phone went dead, and the GPS told me I was in Marrakesh. The open sun roof got stuck and it started to rain. Then things started to go wrong.

Nope. That was me internalizing some of the extreme positions posited here. I probably shouldn’t do that anymore.”

And therein lies the satire.

I’m with sam2. I thought it was satirical writing. Especially when you said obnoxious things about yourself for asking your family members how they were.

Feif, I would wear sleeves to cover the elbow. I wouldn’t at this point in my life do LESS than I normally do, but in a community where everyone dressed even MORE covered up, so would I, or not go there at all. The point is to act with derech eretz and not be “in their face” when we possibly dress a little more relaxed than they do.

Some people (such as the rebbetzin you mention) btw, do feel that the top or middle of the elbow is the cut off point. I used to dress that way, but over the years adopted slightly longer coverage. I don’t view it as being more or less tzniusdik than others, it’s just how I have evolved over time.

Emunah peshutah is what you are supposed to have in spite of NOT having proof. I have proof all around me, but the recognizable Hashgocha Protis in my life is really (for me, anyway), the best proof there is.

I always wear sleeves that cover my elbows. But when I go to neighborhoods where women cover the entire arm to the wrist, I dress that way, too so as to a) not stick out like a sore thumb and b) show some derech eretz for the people who live there. It’s a no-brainer to me. If I would really be uncomfortable to dress more like the people in that place, then I would avoid going there.

Get youself a can of Raid

The ants will go once you have sprayed!

I feel bad but do I need to make myself miserable for the rest of high school, to make her happy???????? “

Is it really such an either/or situation? Does making her happy HAVE to make you miserable? You don’t have to be her best friend (really), but you should not put her in cherem, either. You would not like it if the clique of friends you belong to suddenly decided YOU were persona non grata for some dumb reason (like they don’t like what you are wearing).

I won’t second guess a Mesadeir Kedushin, but on the face of it, if the iPhone is a problem for the reason given, then ANYONE on the internet (including ALL of the choshuveh men posting in the CR), should be likewise possul.

It’s a problem, but you still need to be a mensch. No FASHION SENSE?????? Hang her now! No social skills? Maybe that’s because no one will give her a chance to develop any (because they find her so ANNOYING)… Maybe if you and all the other coupled up BFFs in school would give this poor kid a chance, and really try to get to know her, instead of being so annoyed by her, you might just discover she has a lot to offer the lucky person who befriends her. And btw, you would be doing her and youself a favor to help her develop a sense of style. Maybe her mom is unable to help her in this area or maybe she cannot afford to buy whatever it is you kids think is so crucial to your fashion sense. Either way, BE a friend, for heaven’s sake instead of putting someone down. Unless she is mean-spirited or selfish, you might be doing yourself a favor. I am sure you are secure enough in your own self-image, that it really is not all that difficult to befriend someone outside your “in” group/social circle.

Oddly enough the Torah does NOT tell us to do what makes us happy. That is a recent concept of the past generation, really beginning with the 60s feminist movement and leaching into all aspects of life. How many of us have said, “I don’t care what my child does AS LONG AS HE’S HAPPY.” Utter nonsense. We HAVE to care. There are many things that we do for our (and our children’s) benefit that will not make us particularly happy (immunizations for one). We cannot treat people’s egos so gingerly that the main concern and pursuit is happiness, because without responsible action alongside of it, that happiness may be quite short-lived.

Following the Derech haTorah is what is ultimately supposed to bring us joy and fulfillment, but that joy is not the ultimate goal. That goal is to fulfill Ratzon Hashem. And R”H will lead to our happiness, because He knows what is best for us.

Then why does the passuk say “ha’achas” by each, eh? “

Exactly.

To teach us that each wife is to be treated as an individual wife, no matter what his feelings are for one over the other. If he builds a house for one, he must build a house for the second one as well.

Goq, you were right, but you were also wrong. Sometimes being right doesn’t MAKE you right. IMO, you kind of made a mountain out of a molehill, and I happen to agree that “yes” is not a proper phone response(though it works for when an aveil answers the phone or it is Tisha B’av).

The person you spoke to, no doubt rightly thought you to be a little uptight, and it was probably a little inappropriate to be giving mussar to someone about something rather subjective after all, and even more so that you were at work. Supposing this person took great offense and spoke to your boss about it (or are you the boss?) It really was a very small issue to make such a big deal. I do understand how you feelm, though, but I would have handled it differently. I have learned in life to pick and choose my battles.

Solemn, yes, but ecstatially happy also. I like to see a chosson and kallah who look like they are HAPPY to be getting married to each other. I have seen people who looked liked ther LAST thing they wanted was that chuppah.

” Wow, Oomis, you just gave me chills. I don’t know if we were there at the same time, but my family also davened at the Williams Avenue shul and we lived right near Red’s. The barber shop was one off the corner on New Lots Avenue and the bakery was on the corner next to it. There was also a butcher across from Red’s. Yes we also walked to Fortunoffs. Do you remember the New Lots library? Abe Baum did open a store in Queens and I was very good friends with one of his daughters. Yes, I agree, life was SO good there. Ah very sweet memories. “

Fast Forward, we moved out of the neighborhood in December of 1962, so if you were there prior to that, we must have known each other. My dad O”H often davened for the omud, and when I was very little, I sat with him at his table (the first one on the left side, as we came into the Shul.

The butcher shop would be Lehrman’s. We bought from him for all the years we lived on Hinsdale Street. I recall so vividly the night we got the terrible news that his daughter Paula O”H had perished as a result of an electric fire in their home over Shabbos. It was my very first shiva visit to someone, and I was devastated, because Paula was my good friend from Shul, and her last Friday on this earth was especially sad to her, because someone had stolen her brand new wallet. As a child it hurt me that she had cried all day the day before she was nifteres.

They were very fine people.

I frequently went to the library and it was safe for young children to go there by themselves. I was no more than 9 years old at the time.

Did you know Abe Baum’s daughter Henia? If memory serves, we were friends (mostly she and my sister, but I was always included). I cannot for certain recall Abe’s wife’s name,though Rita comes to mind, so maybe that was it.

Rabby Lowy’s children were also my good friends, and often came to my house to play. The only one whose name I recall was Pinchas Elya (as a child I thought it was one long name, “Pinchasellya”). We lived in a home that had a long enclosed, gated alley between my house and the next door neighbors. As a result, we could play outdoors every single day of the year rain or shine, snowy or clear, because the alley ran the entire length of the house. We played handball against that wall all the time, or roller skated down the alley in the dead of winter. As you can imagine, our house was THE meeting house for the entire block of children. And in those days, everyone played together,frum, not frum. They all knew that they could eat in my home, but I would not even take a drink of water in theirs, so it was just best if they played by me. We also had a nice big backyard with a swingset, and lots of room to run around. We had fig trees and a green grape vine, but somehow the grapes never tasted too good to me. I so miss that life.

Also, many “Jews” who join them are only Jewish from the father’s side. “

Tragically many of them are in fact Jews.

I grew up in East New York, very cloe to Brownsville. I davened either at the Williams Avenue Shul (Rabbi Lowy’s shul), sitting quietly next to my Dad O”H until I was a “big girl” and needed to go upstairs to the Ezras Nashim, or later on at the Pennsylvania Avenue Shul, because they had Shabbos groups.

We lived around the corner from Baum’s grocery (his son Abe opened his own branch in Queens, many years later, I think), and around the corner from Red’s toy Store and the local ice cream place. There was a barber shop on the corner down the block and across the street, and we had to wait near it for our school bus to Crown Heights Yeshivah.

We used to walk to Fortunoff’s and Blake Avenue. Wow, I am really getting flooded with memories right now. Life was SO good.

I have just now come to this thread, and I applaud your courage. it is a huge challenge to re-think your life, and come to realize that some things whih you have held to be true about yourself, were not. This is a major step for you, and in my humble opinion you should start with small steps. I think Aish HaTorah Discovery seminars would be of tremendous benefit. Or Rebbetzin Esther Jungries’ Hineni (meaning “here I am”)organization. They are geared to educating and welcoming the Baal Teshuvah.

If I understood your post correctly, you ARE Jewish by birth, as it is passed down matrilineally. If your mother, grandmother and great-grandmother were all unquestionably Jewish, then you are, too (really it only needs to be that you look at your own mother being a bona fide Jew (whether by birth or Orthodox conversion), but it is a good idea to check back further down her maternal bloodline).

Much good luck to you in your endeavors to live a life that is your heritage. It is well worth it. Find yourself an Orthodox rabbi and his wife, with whom you can make a real connection, and try to spend your Shabboses in their community. Why travel on Shabbos, if you already are making inroads to committing to a true Torah life?

That is not a consideration when it comes to halacha. “

And I am not certain that all people, including rabbonim, would agree with the extremely narrow view of what the actual halacha is in this case. Many of those rabbonim will ALWAYS say good Shabbos to everyone they see male or female.

My own rov would never pass me by without saying Good Shabbos, good morning, or just hi, if he ran into me when it was not Shabbos. It is simple good manners. The Torah does not asser good manners, and in fact, every aspect of Torah is designed to bring kedusha to the most mundane of things, even saying hello. The Torah is also designed to create Ahavas Yisroel, and not Sinas Chinam. Ignoring someone in the street who has said Good Shabbos to you, whether male or female, breeds sinas chinam, whether or not you agree with my statement (and you would be wrong).

Mod 42, my all time favorite camp sung song was the Little Bird. In fact, I was a counselor at Camp HASC MANY MANY years ago, and used that song for our finale when my campers put on a special play about the zechus of the birds during Yetzias Mitzrayim, for flying over Bnei Yisrael and being a protective “umbrella” for them. When I wrote the play, I was searching for an appropriate song to end it, and this one just filled the bill perfectly. I still get teary-eyed whenever I hear it.