SACT5

@yanky1998, Well, phrased that way I actually agree with you 98%.

However I’d still caution you are mixing up political parties and Jewish religious moral values.
Our moral values don’t change over time with “progress.” Political parties reflect what the majority of Americans support at any given time.

For example, Republicans as a party don’t uniformly oppose gay marriage being legalized (that ship has sailed) and 20 years ago the democratic party generally did. Congress passed the Respect for Marriage Act because there was bipartisan support with 13 Republican senators and 39 Republican house members voting for it.

The republicans overall may be more in line with our traditional religious moral values, but don’t confuse that with thinking they represent Torah values. Party platforms are not written by Rabbanim. A blue state republican and a red state democrat may actually have a lot in common in what they support. The litmus test for frum morality should not be whom you vote for, but if you accept that morality is absolute and comes from hashem.

@Yanky1988 You took Reagan’s 11th commandment a little too seriously. Voting Republican is not an actual commandment. Perhaps with more time their views will change, but either way of course they should start keeping shabbos! Why would you discourage someone? One is a mitzvah the other is an opinion on others’ aveyros. It’s like telling someone they shouldn’t keep kosher because they don’t think shoplifters should go jail.

He hit a game winning double and his belt had a white Magen David painted on it.

According to wikipedia Bader identifies as Jewish.
It sounds like he may have made that decision so he was eligible to play for Israel in the 2023 world baseball classic, not because he’s religiously Jewish.

During spring training he was wearing a necklace for the hostages.

Look he may not be halachically or religiously Jewish but right now we need all the positive support in America we can get.

@modern – There’s a large space on the political spectrum between the far left and Lieberman, I believe it’s called….the democratic party.

Connecticut is a “blue state” but it’s not a “far left” state. I don’t see a far left governor getting elected here.

@SquareRoot that NY Post article connecting Lamont to radical left antisemitic democrats is absurd.
“This from an article in The New York Post:
“Lamont was an early example of a candidate backed by the party’s left fringe…
In the nearly years since, that fringe has become
the dominant power in national Democratic politics.
Open anti-Semites like Representatives Ilhan Omar, Jamaal Bowman
and Rashida Tlaib spray vitriol in public as their Squad-mates cheer them on…”

@CTLawyer – (except for we’re only 3.5 million people) you’re 💯% correct on the Liberman-Lamont race.

That was 2006. The radical left fringe youth of today wasn’t old enough to vote yet.

Lamont beat Lieberman in the primary not because Lamont was an extreme leftist but because Liberman Z”L had moved so far right of the democratic party at the time. Liberman supported the Iraq war, became a neo-con hawk which was the main position democrats of that time opposed, and supported the Bush administration in a very anti-Bush administration state. To us in Connecticut at the time he was indistinguishable from a republican.

Lamont is a moderate democrat and has been a strong friend of the Connecticut Jewish community and Israel.

He visited a Connecticut Jewish day school on October 10th 2023.

After the Pittsburg synagogue shooting he attended a vigil at a Connecticut JCC.

“In 2022, Lamont became the first Connecticut governor in 25 years – and the first U.S. governor in two – to send a diplomatic mission to Israel to support business ties between the country and Connecticut.”

“Feb 18, 2022
Jewish Federation of Western Connecticut
Governor Ned Lamont’s Trip to Israel
“…I thanked Governor Lamont for holding a press conference with Connecticut’s Jewish Federations announcing his support for our statewide “Shine a Light on Antisemitism” campaign. I also thanked him for issuing an Official Statement in support of that campaign endorsing the IHRA definition of Antisemitism which helps make it clear that certain kinds of criticism attacking Israel can cross the line into Antisemitism.”

From 3 months ago.
“NEW HAVEN, Conn. (WTNH) — Protestors briefly took over a Greater New Haven Chamber of Commerce breakfast to criticize Gov. Ned Lamont for being the first Connecticut governor in years to go on a trade mission to Israel.
Lamont said they have the right to protest.
Nobody’s going to listen to them unless they lead off with the fact that they acknowledge and condemn the brutal and sadistic genocidal attack on October 7th, and what that did to all those young innocents there, as well,” Lamont said.”

He is not busy waffling on his positions pandering for votes like Biden and Schumer.
I have seen nothing but strong support for the Jewish community and Israel from him.

The immediate backlash against the current immigration wave will only help get Trump elected.

So….Business tycoons desperate for cheap labor?

Square Root, I agree with the moderators bold replies.

Whatever your intention, the way your original post was written was not ‘try to be sensitive to the feelings of your neighbors and the strangers in your midst’ and more of an ‘I hate foreigners’ rant.

Your post was directed specifically at those who live in Boro Park but this is not a community message board. As someone who lives out in goy-land, the specifics you complained of were small inconveniences that Jews living among gentile majorities everywhere else must deal with as well as a lot worse.

Perhaps because some of us have to constantly deal with these daily inconveniences and cultural suppressions what you said HURT US! We felt personlly attacked by your words. Everywhere else in America we are assimilated into nothingness until our Yiddishkeit is no more because of protecting the sensitive feelings of the gentile majority who think there’s some sort of war on xmas bc people now say happy holidays. Are you really suggesting to be sensitive to the feelings of our neighbors we should keep our businesses open on Shabbos and marry the goy next door??? Because that is what ends up happening everywhere else in America that is not fortunate enough to be a Jewish enclave.

I don’t use Instagram and am often amazed by the useless artistry that goes into food these days. It looks amazing but it tastes mediocre. If they want a repeat customer in me I’d prefer the opposite. I buy food to eat it not to catalog it.

This year I decided to focus just on the essentials – lighting the menorah & time with family. In past years I’ve spent so much time decorating and undecorating the house, it’s become burdensome. Why bother? Living simpler is less stressful, but the modern world wants everything to be so complex it takes away from the joy at the heart of the holiday.

I cannot read American news anymore. The constant lies across the board to support the narrative of Israel being the “bad guy” are sickening and infuriating.
Shout out to YWN for keeping me informed while helping me maintain safe blood pressure levels.

Crying victim over minor unintended slights is a general leftist behavior for all “special interest” groups.
Both the Woke and Maga crowds traffic in antisemitism. That’s the scary part, that’s the one thing they agree on.

“Russian influence in EY shouldn’t be ignored.
Bibi and Putin were tight until munitions were sent to Ukraine under American pressure. Oh wait now Hamas strikes….”

Lostspark, that is a good point. This may also explain why Trump changed his allegiance too.

@50minusONE, I’m sorry to hear you’re struggling with depression. I’ve definitely been there.

Unfortunately there are few quick or easy fixes. Also with winter approaching the shorter days are especially difficult for those with seasonal depression.

Best advice I can offer is activity.
Find an exercise you enjoy, try walking or jogging outside to get fresh air and daylight (also get as much natural light inside your home as possible), perhaps your JCC offers something of interest?
Get something on your calendar to look forward to like a meet up with friends, a weekly class, plan a visit to a museum, or take a trip to a new city to explore.
Volunteering especially with children or pets can be very gratifying and is a great way to feel needed and loved.
Find a new hobby, gardening can be therapeutic and you can start small with 1 indoor plant.
Reach out to others for support, the CR is a good start.

Neither Trump nor Biden become their party’s candidates due to some lame excuses…forgot to file paperwork, in jail, spend time with the grandkids, in jail, more time to golf….

Kamala Harris becomes the democratic party’s nominee since they have no viable candidates. She selects a token white male as her running mate.
Pence runs with Haley as VP and they win in a landslide.

@4980112t Thank you for your brave words!

Divorce is still such a taboo topic throughout modern society.
Perhaps it’s because people fear it and the difficulties that go along with it, that you are all too familiar with. There’s no magic formula to avoiding it so you are unfairly penalized by association.

It is unfair that you or any child of divorce bears the stigma from the decisions of others. It is also unfair to you that after having your own childhood uprooted you are now delayed in putting down the roots of your own family as an adult which you deserve more than most for that same reason.

I’m sorry things are hard for you, and I hear your pain. I wish I could help fix it, but just bringing awareness to the issue is a step in the right direction. I would be proud to be your future mother-in-law.

“If only one becomes a baal teshuva, do they need to divorce?”

Dare to dream!

Sorry to put all of my troubles out here CR but this topic which may have been meant purely as a hypothetical fit too well with something I’ve been struggling with lately.

It is not an easy thing to end a marriage especially when children are involved, even if it is the right thing, even if there are religious grounds (verbal abuse seems to qualify so sadly I believe I would have grounds), even if he has always stifled my religious devotion. I am not blameless, I am not an easy person to be married to (as he often reminds me), but who does not have their flaws? All I can do is pray that hashem softens my husband’s heart, and gives me the strength to endure for the sake of the children. Even with couples counseling while the improvement has been noticeable, he still hurts me with his words every day. He says it is my fault that what he says hurts me, that I’m misinterpreting what he says, I am being too sensitive, or he is stressed at something else and to ignore the tone, profanity, and anger in what he says. But when someone says they hate you how else can you interpret it?
He was away for a week and came back today and berated me for coddling the toddler in his absence. 🥺 Is it a wonder I did not miss him while he was gone?

He originally blockaded my religious journey for example guess who pressured me to stop keeping kosher as I had for my entire life before we met, he did not want to celebrate shabbat with my friends but make plans for us to go out on friday nights with his, he will begrudgingly celebrate a few holidays a year or attend maybe one service if he has no conflicting plans. Once upon a time he treated me very well so I was willing to overlook his lack of religious devotion because he seemed devoted to me and I thought he would never hurt me. How wrong I was. I am not looking for anyone’s sympathy or even advice. I just really needed a space where I could share this safely and anonymously. Thanks for reading.

Lululemon somehow turned an undergarment into an outergarment.

Commonsaychel – Lol, I’ve never been mistaken for frum before but I’ll take the compliment! I figured the minimum qualifications were keeping kosher and being shomer shabbos. While I have a strong aversion to chazer, I can’t say I meet those criteria. I was wondering where I picked up writing G-d which I’ve been doing as long as I can remember. It must have been from my mother who is kinda frum but placed her liberal and feminist values ahead of her Jewish ones. I don’t share her liberal values, so this is likely why I’m so mixed up as to where I fit in religiously. Anyone got a quiz I can take? Which Jewish denomination is right for you???

Alcoholism – what I think happened was my father likely saw some study like that which said Jews as a group have a lower (but not a zero) rate of alcoholism in their communities in comparison to other ethnic groups. He took it to mean there was some cultural reason we couldn’t become alcoholics which is nonsense. My parents would make comments about how our shul replaced the kiddish wine on the bima with grape juice because there were some alcoholics in the congregation, but they could only be non-Jewish spouses or converts because Jews don’t become alcoholics. It’s similar to saying this problem doesn’t exist in our community or hashem and Torah make us immune from the pitfalls of the secular world. You see what you want to see until you have a wake up call. Had my dad had a friend who secretly had a drinking problem or wanted to come to him for advice can you imagine the shame they would feel hearing comments like this? The stigma and getting help for these things are hard enough, there’s no need to make it more difficult by denying the existence of an issue.

Marijuana – I’m curious what’s the actual halacha here? It’s no longer illegal most places and while it’s had a conservative cultural stigma against it, is there any actual Jewish law against its use? I know my ggpa who was chassidic smoked cigarettes but that was before they knew they were so bad for your health. I can’t stand how universal marijuana use has become with legalization, but that doesn’t mean it’s actually prohibited.

AviraDeArah – You strike me as having the innocence and idealism of youth. Hashem gives us each our challenges Jew and non-Jew alike. We are human not superhuman. Also how do you see something so awful as what you did at the 7/11 and still think frum Jews don’t regularly fall victim? I think perhaps you view addiction as a moral failing which is why you are convinced that the Torah protects us by holding us to higher levels of morality than others? While casual drug use (like occasional marijuana use) which is in the morally questionable category is likely much less prevelent in the frum world, drug addiction is different. It can sometimes start that way, but it can also start with prescription pain pills from a doctor which has nothing to do with moral failings. It can start with untreated mental health issues and a lack of resouces. It can start with trauma and abuse that are kept secret. These things exist in the frum and secular worlds.

Every community has those with mental health needs that are not sufficiently addressed, people in need of support, and those who in the absence of healthy outlets (sports, art, friends, support groups) will turn to unhealthy outlets. This is universal.

edited

Making statements like ‘these things don’t happen to people like us or in our community’ just make the shame and secrecy deeper and make it that that much harder for people to get help.

My father used to tell me that Jews couldn’t become alcoholics because they introduced children to alcohol at a young age (I must have been allowed manischewitz wine at kiddish since about age 8). Well that’s not how that works and while thank G-d I never became an alcoholic, I developed a very unhealthy relationship with alcohol to deal with anxiety and depression. Since I had a false sense of security that alcoholism could never happen to me, I missed some of the early warning signs in my behavior and was not as cautious as I might have been otherwise.

Fyi – I am not frum, I went to public school K-12, and I’ve never used marijuana. So much for your stereotypes….

Tell me you’ve never been the parent of a toddler without telling me you’ve never been the parent of a toddler…..

“A group of allergists belonging to Israeli Medical Association published research saying that kids with food allergies are not a risk of serious reactions if others bring allergenic foods to class.”

Yossi, is it possible the numbers are reversed in your particular geographic area? Maybe try a singles event in another community? I hope you find your bashert soon!

AviraDeArah, my 1st statement was a bit tongue in cheek although I apologize because tone is almost impossible to read online. Just because everyone does something obviously doesn’t make it okay.
My point was more if there was something seriously problematic from a Jewish perspective I doubt so many people here would have read and enjoyed them. I certainly intentionally avoided reading the Narnia series by CS Lewis. Regret for reading them does not seem to be universal either. Are there concerns with the HP series yes clearly. Is it the worst thing for a Jewish kid to read not by a long shot. I don’t see it as having only one right answer but maybe that’s just so I’m always right. 😉

I FOUND IT!!!!!
Burried in section 1, almost a footnote, the real numbers….

“One other common definition should be mentioned: In traditional Jewish law (halakha), Jewish identity is transmitted by matrilineal descent. The survey finds that 87% of adult Jews by religion and 70% of Jews of no religion – a total of about 4.8 million U.S. adults – say they had a Jewish mother. Additionally, about 1.3 million people who are not classified as Jews in this report (47% of non-Jews of Jewish background) say they had a Jewish mother.”