Think first

Hum… It works. But why did the e/m stay there?

MiddlePath- thanks for asking. Everything is good here, just been busy and couldn’t post much. Now that I am here, I’m wishing everyone a relaxing and restful shabbos!!

Gatesheader- good for you that you have that sort of control. However, there are people that know themselves to have control when it isn’t in their pocket. I have a friend who is part of SA and he will do whatever it takes to stay away from a nisayon so, for some its important “not to trust themselves” and rather set up a system where they are limiting their nisyonos.

I say it because my father says it and I assume his father said it too.

Someone who will love her, take care of her, support her (when she’s can’t support him anymore) a guy who will listen to her when she’s talking to him. And most importantly a guy who will make her feel special. If you can do all the above ur set buddy.

S2021- These were parts of Rabbi Pesach Krohns speech.

Why don’t you just get the two names to a shadchan and have him/her get to know one of them and then can redd it, I don’t see the difficulty?

I got a different type of ticket for this. Cop said so to “U Turned on” on red!! And look at that sign young man…

S2021- If everything was fine and only after tying the knot did the trouble start, ur right I understand ur fear of the second time. On that note I’d like to share something with you.

The Baal shem tov says, that when a neshama is upstairs many malochim redd it shidduchim. And since a malach is of great importance what they suggest must come true in at least a small form before it marries its bashert.Now, some “come true” by someone thinking of the shidduch. Some come true by someone redding the shidduch. Some come true by actually having the two meet. And some come true by the two actually getting married to eachother for some time and then they can move on and marry their bashert. (Baal shem tov ki saitzai) this vort has kept me upbeat since I heard it shortly after that fateful day and the way I perceive it is that I’m one step closer to my wife to be. I hope this will help.

Arwsf- yeh its funny but I was kinda wondering what ended up happening with you, happy to hear all is good now.

So long.

Logician- ur absolutely right. Many in our generation don’t have the same feeling for being “a mother” like it was in the past and the way this world was created for. YesN Hashem has created man and woman with specific roles. In many a home the roles have been switched and sometimes it works well, however for many the relationship isn’t ideal since the one who makes the money automaticaly feels like “the man” of the relationship, not always, there are wives who support the family and still know their role. However, it can reverse the roles which isn’t healthy. But hey, times have changed, girls are out there working before they get married which is relatively new, and they get used to work and carrers etc. So we gotta deal with it. Its important though to remember ur true role in a marriage.

S2021- that really portrayed a not-so-good marriage. You know why ur are to try again? Because thers someone out there with whom you can feel all the possitive feelings you mentioned without the negative ones. Personaly, I experienced only the negatives on ur list, but I picked myself and ill try again because I know that there’s someone out there who will share a wonderful and loving relationship with me, I have no doubt. So go on and tell urself there’s a wonderful spouce waiting for me and its just a matter of time.

Mishna brura says it helps ur yiras shomayim too

Postal- Being a divorced man I must tell you that no, you don’t stay married because of the thought 2nd time may not be better. If a couple is getting divorced there better be good reason for it, and I agree with the poster that said better to be single ur whole life than to stay in an abusive relatinship or for that matter a horrible relationship that can’t be fixed and I mean no way to fix it. There are instances where you can be the best spouce possible but that won’t do anything for the marriage. I experienced it. As far as the guys being the trouble, I don’t know where u got that from, every divorce is different at times they’re both “good” people but not for eachother at all. And at times one may never be a good spouce to anyone they’ll marry. Well all I can tell you is that all the stats and all the data of divorced people, good or bad, there’s a creator who runs the show and sends one they’re zivug sheini too, its not at all different than the first time around in this respect. As far as the hishtadlus part that we do, It definately reccomended to spend more time with the prospective husband or wife before deciding to get engaged so you get a real feeling and understanding of who they are. Date for months if that’s what’s it takes. And to all those out there looking for ur spouce first timers or second, Hashem is the one you should be talking to, after all its all in his hands.

Its important to understand that when ur looking for a person thatll best help you in ur ovodas Hashem (daas yachid) its the same person that you really like and enjoy.

A healthy marriage has enough tests and tough times, make sure ur marrying someone you really like and enjoy being around. Yes, make sure you like they’re appearance its important. These things aren’t a stira to helping you in ur avodas Hashem rather, they are the assisters to it. Hashem created marriage to be a wonderful union where husband and wife become as close as two humans can, make sure this person is a good candidate for that. Now, you’ll feel closer after ur married and with time it will increase, no doubt. Make sure however, that you feel the initial attraction to this person where you can see it getting even better and stronger.

PE- how encouraging! And beautifuly written. When we realize that “its normal and part of life” we can get through it. Tx

MP- I’m feel ur pain, and I hope u find ur zivug soon. I pray for you and you pray for me, deal? Oh about the names? Hashem knows who MP and Think First are. MP I’m so happy to see that we mean so much to you, I thinks its because you give so much to us….

Blabla- this poem really touched me and I’m excited that ur feeling this from ur creator. Remember, its always there, just harder to feel sometimes.

(State exam tomorrow, why am I still up? Family first I guess)

Says me- I feel for you, I hope ur day gets happier and mucj better.

The proper way to give tzedaka is described in a mishna in avos. “Hakol l’fi rov hamaaseh” which the Ra”v explains to mean: that its better to give small sums of $ to many people than to give one large sum to one person. Reason being that each time you give its another mitzvah and another time u trained urself to give. So you should gauge how much you can give a month with the amount of requests u receive and split it up. You still should use some common sense as far as importance, there are tzedakas tht are higher priority. Medical is higher than tuition for example. Also depending on the amount of money that is needed to fill the void also helps u decide how much to give.

Should you ever decline to give? If its phony and you somehow know that. Otherwise, never.

Gave mishloach manos to a couple of friends

Matanos la’aniim to those who can’t meet ends

Collected a few hundred for the needy and poor

The purim avoda was is full roar

Was looking forward to be makayaim

Ad di lo yada on whisky or yayin

Then the phone rings so and so is in the emergency room

Can you stay with them can you be there soon

Sure I’m coming right over I can stay with them

This was my personal mitzvah sent from Hashem

Well let’s take a look and what getting drunk is all about

Is it running around with a yell and a shout

Not at all, its taking control away from the guf and being all Neshama

And that’s how we connect straight to Rachmana

Well this year it was different sober I was but not torn

Giving myself away for another in the highest form

I hope you all had a great purim this year will be great

And I gotta go to sleep cuz its getting late

A freilichin Shushan purim to all my Poetry friends!

Ha! I can drink this website all by my shluff!

Thanks middle path, I’m BH great. I’ve been busy studying for a sate exam I have coming up a requirement for my new employment.

I just want to remind all my poetry friends that on purim there’s a special power that is exclusive for purim only. That is “kol haposhet yad nosnim lo” ” whoever extends their hand you are supposed to give” this is reffering to tzedaka. However chazal have taught us that there’s a higher meaning too. On purim whoever asks from Hashem, is given his request. A gadol once said that, its interesting that on the day that has this power of kol haposhet we also have a mitzva to get drunk and that’s because there has to a protection for this power, people get drunk and forget to ask.

So this purim whether ur drunk or running around giving out mishloach manos or matanos la’evyonim, don’t forget to daven for all that you need and want and nothing is too trivial to ask for.

Daven,Daven and Daven some more!! And just like in the story of purim it seemed like all odds were against us and Hashem sent us a yeshua, we can see personal and klal yeshuos just beacause we asked for it.

May we all be zoche to use the day well, and may Hashem answer our tefillos and give us health happiness and success in all that we do.

Says me- if when ur davening for yourslef you hear a voice say “you need this? Says who? Just says Says me.

Mazal tov ! I woke up this morning, and if ur reading this you did too! (Remember, every day is a new birth)

SilentOne— its a materpeice of a teffila one that’s unfortunately so relevant in our times.

May Hashem answer this prayer and shine his light upon these youth within whom so much kedusha lies.

Rosewood– do some research into Boteach and you’ll find out a lot more interesting opinions of his. Just so you know in no way does he represent the frum community.

Anyhow- regarding this story, if u watch what these “Going Offers” say when given the mike you quite quickly realize that either they had a horrible childhood, one which any child not just a “hassid” would rebel against, which causes them ro “run away” and blame it on the “system” them grew up in. In reality, hundreds of thousands of children grow up in the same manner as them (besides the abuse, neglect etc) and live productive happy and healthly lifestyles or, they have extreme desires which they cannot acheive while living as a frum jew because its wrong and not accepted, so they “leave” this way they can do whatever they want especially when they start to deny and say, eh its all nonsense, typical way of not feeling bad for the wrong that you’ve done. And then the audacity to go on TV and tell the world “the horrible way they were brought up” listen ur an exception to the masses who are happy with it all, so become a goy and keep it to urself! Don’t spread lies and yes they’ve lied about facts to make urself some money or fame. Really a disgrace, I mean there’s a lot of guilt in the issur of eishes ish one who commits that has to go all out to justify their actions.