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  • in reply to: Zechuyos for Israeli soldiers #1023829

    Thank you Mattbrods for the info! Tizku L’Mitzvot! I am emailing the link to shmira project to everyone I know.

    in reply to: Moshiach Rumors? #1074782

    Jews don’t have it easy in this dor… unless you only look at the material aspects in Chutz l’aretz… they are wasting away their lives on gashmius and drowning in the tumah that is America, Canada, Australia, Europe, etc. And, according to all accounts, Mashiach is not going to arrive in Flatbush ir hakodesh, etc! So, what is everyone waiting for? E’Y is where a Jew belongs and according to great people/gedolim, those that stay where they are despite the “knockout attacks” and anti-semitism are holding up the geula… Everyone is worried about parnassa, etc etc.. but where is your emunah?? Hakodosh Baruch Hu takes care of everyone! Don’t listen to this lashon hora and analyze the situation with your head! If you don’t want to be in E’Y, do you really want Mashiach to come… You may be inconvenienced… so are you really sure you are waiting for Mashiach to come now??

    Like the babies of an eagle, you have to jump up on the eagle’s wings when he makes a rustle. No one is going to force you and whisk you away… You have to make an effort yourself and do your part to come close to HKBH… and you can do that much easier in Eretz Hakodesh! If anyone tells you different, they are lacking clarity!!!

    in reply to: How To Fight Boredom. #1006070

    wake up and think about what you are born for… then move to E’Y. Everything is much clearer here. You will not be bored. Until the majority of Jewish people are in E’Y, the Bais Hamikdash cant be rebuilt… thats a Gemara, I think. Do something toward the geula… move here and stop buying the lies and nonsense of the yetzer hara that it is perfectly wonderful to live in US. …its not and that is one of the major reasons why you are bored… I promise that you will not be bored here… because your neshama will be fully connected… Ask anyone and I am sure that 99% of people where you are will say that I am wrong…:)

    in reply to: How do I get my purity back? #1098786

    The fact that you want to be pure should give you a great feeling of pride. Daven to Hshem that He should erase your memories and with time they will fade and you will not want to do anything else to soil your beautiful neshama. You sound like an amazing person and your desire to do teshuva, to fill your life with kedusha is so inspiring to me!!!!

    Also, very important, unless you need it for parnassa, just access the Internet in a public place, like a library, etc. Take that (technological) pollution (as much as is possible) out of your home. It really makes your home so much better and you feel free! Hatzlacha Raba!!!

    in reply to: Anyone know a good dentist? #972996

    Dr. Tuvia Zinman 718-300-9693

    Quentin and West 6th (really close to Kings Highway and W. 6)

    He is amazing! I just had a root canal done and felt absolutely no pain, not even for a minute. His shot doesn’t even hurt… at all! He is very caring, patient, and really calms you down if you are the nervous type. In other words, he cares, and I trust my family’s teeth to him. For the person that used to avoid all dentists before I met him, I can tell you that I highly recommend him!

    in reply to: Nurseries in Flatbush/Midwood #959893

    Mora Eva Schwartz (very good) 718-258-0208

    in reply to: Looking for an apartment in flatbush #953082

    jewish press Wednesday, Luach, Craigslist (try), and the best is to get a broker. It takes time and be prepared to pay premium $ for below mediocre apartments.

    in reply to: Jobs for Jewish Women #936022

    please investigate OT before you jump in. It is an incredibly tedious, unnecessarily difficult program with a kind of a ridiculuos premise. Please ask around those that are in it and give it serious thought. It is also more time consuming that any other program I have seen with unreasonable academic demands and very little direction from the faculty. I know many people in this field because of the nature of my job and most of them are extremely unhappy they chose it. The money after you finish is good, but… I guess to me personally such torture is not worth it especially if you have a family or plan to have one. Hatzlacha!

    in reply to: Advice on Parenting Books #1111285

    also there is a Russian speaking Rav in E’Y that is the best. IMHO there is no one that explains the specifics (not only abstractions)like R. Asher Kushner… not sure if he also gives shiurim in Hebrew or if you are Hebrew speaking.

    in reply to: Advice on Parenting Books #1111283

    What has always helped me is to talk to someone that has good children and ask for an eitza. There are several people I have spoken to in the past and it has been tremendously helpful. The gist: change our attitude, accept and love him, it is probably a stage and temporary… it will pass… try to understand him, avoid head on collisions at all costs, be compasionate but firm, dan l’kaf zchus… respect… but it would be amazing if you can talk to a Rebbetzin or just someone that has worked on themselves and understands chinuch… etc.

    Most importantly just in the middle of it drop everything and say a perek of Tehilim. It works! R. Brevda ztl said to say 121 and I have it memorized for such fun situations.:)

    If you are asking the question you are a good parent… You should be matzliach!!

    in reply to: Rabbi Brevda Shlita needs our tefillos TODAY ESPECIALLY! #918125

    Baruch Dayan Haemes

    Almost everything I learned has been from Rav’s ZTL’s shiurim. If anyone can share personal stories maybe, please do.

    in reply to: I have the bed bugs #916740

    I also wanted to mention that we had more than several exterminators that did not get rid of bed bugs. Until we threw out mattresses and headboards…(which we resisted doing — they were expensive) nothing helped. However, the exterminator Gene mentioned in the previous post told us we did not need to throw out everything.

    in reply to: I have the bed bugs #916739

    I so feel for you! Please listen and try what I am advising. My family lives in Flatbus and we suffered from them because we live in a building. Baruch Hashem, we did get rid of them…. without all the headaches of packing everything up and washing everything. I had no energy for all of it with a baby and so we did it with shortcuts and they worked!!!

    First of all, throw out your beds (and any sleeping spaces, like a couch, etc.) and get new mattresses and keep them in the plastic or get plastic for them eventually. Throw out rugs unless they are extremely expensive. Wash curtains and bed linen of course… and have these guys come and spray everywhere. You may have to get a hotel room for a day, because everything takes time to dry.

    These guys are very nice and they understand what you are going thru so don’t make you jump thru hoops… The guy’s name is Gene 718-382-1363. It’s a company. I hope the moderator allows this! I am so exhausted and writing with one eye closed but had to tell you. I know how horrible this is. Only people that had or have it can understand. The sleepless nights, etc…. we used to migrate all over the apartment. What a life it was. If you do what I am telling you, you should be fine I’YH. Hatzlacha Rabbah!

    in reply to: Rabbi Shmuel Elchonon Brog Shlita needs our tefillos! #912805

    Baruch Dayan Haemes!

    A tzaddik is gone. Pure emes, everything l’shem Shamaim, complete love for a fellow Jew, always a smile, a kind word, only Torah, only Yiras Shamaim, always a bracha. Always. Never a bad word. never a bad mood. Oy Ribbono Shel Olam…. we were not zoiche to have him with us longer.

    Try this lady. They do the visits for Holocaust survivors, but I am sure that she would know other similar chessed orgs.

    Devorah Naomi Singer, LMSW

    Project for Holocaust Survivors at BCBP

    Phone: (718) 438-2020 ext. 7425

    email: [email protected]

    in reply to: I need some perspective #908699

    “I just know now that I am a mother that if my child was finding it hard to pay his or her bills etc i would help them no questions asked. Not because it is expected but because I love them.”

    That is exactly what I was thinking as I read your post. i feel the same way. However, remember that with some parents money translates into compliance… with their wishes, “advice”, etc.

    Anyway, I really feel for you. But, like another poster said many of us are struggling financially … still at the end of the day we survive. I also stayed home with my child — he only went to playgroup at 3.2 … for his benefit, not for my convenience.

    What you are doing for your child, no one will do. You will never regret staying home and bonding with your child because that bond will be for life. No Mexican nanny or irreligious… woman, or even the most choshev babysitter/daycare can give your baby what you, mommy, can. It is precious and worth all the financial sacrifices. Cut down on things, but stay home and mother your child all day every day and you will both grow:)

    On a practical note… there are many types of businesses that allow you to be mom and bring in money at the same time because there are no set hours and work can be done at home (if you have the energy…). Perhaps your baby is just too little right now for starting something like that… but there are many options. We are a one income family because my husband learns, but B.H. I was able to make enough to stay afloat even when breastfeeding my baby. It was ok and Hashem gave me the koach every day. Believe me, if you want to do for Hashem, He will make it possible by giving you what you need to live…etc. Hatzlacha!

    in reply to: The USA voted in 4 more years or increased moral decay #903225

    There are reasons why those at the top (hint hint) care so much about toeiva marriage being legalized. There is plenty of information (and some of it scarry) from conservative sources and especially those close to Chicago (a former home…) that are aware of things that, for the most part, the country is not… just do the research. IMHO, then you will see that we are in more trouble than we can even imagine at this moment if we continue to stay in this medina shel chessed in all the wrong places.

    in reply to: Good Things about Obama #903718

    we should see good in everything. President Obama has really white teeth.

    in reply to: Avenu Malkenu at Jones Beach 7/4/2012 #885386

    How about st. paul’s cathedral next time?

    in reply to: Frum women doctors #880901

    I am a woman and would prefer a male ob-gyn even though i have used women (frum too) before and most of them have been QUITE insensitive. That is not to say that there are not frum women or any women ob’s that ARE sensitive or males that are utterly horrible. Generally speaking, MOST (not all) women will agree that men are not only more competent in this area but more sensitive in many cases.

    To suggest that men that go into this field have some sinister or perverted motivations is completely ridiculuos and immature. This field is about bringing BABIES into the world, preserving women’s health, treating various ailments… I don’t understand such ignorance masquerading as tznius or whatever. If you want to use a woman ob-gyn … ok. But an ob-gyn that is a male is not a man, but a PHYSICIAN and is trained to view things through the prism of his training, etc.. There are boundaries and most normal people can understand the difference. Of course, there are cases that i won’t elaborate upon where a woman would be further traumatized by a male doctor… not because of the doctor, but because of the woman and her particular experience.

    in reply to: Should I stop listening to Matisyahu? #983722

    In my opinion it is probably not the biggest aveira … if for whatever reason he gives you a feeling of simcha (menuchas hanefesh?) Honestly, I have never heard his music but I am too old for that:) On the other hand, you say that you like listening to frum jewish singers only so you are on a madreiga to easily phase out something that could negatively influence you out of your life and … finished. That would be the best… but if you don’t do it all at once… that is ok too. Just dont encourage anyone else to listen to him. We live in a difficult crazy world and we should insulate ourselves from it as MUCH as we can within normal limits. Still, it is not the WORST terrible aveira. Pony sheitels and tight clothing that is too short is MUCH worse. Blabbing constantly in shul… very bad… etc. etc.

    in reply to: PONY SHEITEL #880098

    Are pony sheitels or those new ones with a braid tzniusdik?

    in reply to: Rabbi Brevda Shlita needs our tefillos TODAY ESPECIALLY! #918115

    I dont feel comfortable discussing medical information on a public forum… I know that everyone wants to know because they care, but there are privacy issues and unless i ask the Rav directly if it is ok to say this or that, I personally dont feel comfortable so I am not the one to ask. Suffice it to say that he continues to need our tefillos so please daven that a yeshua should come and he should be granted a refua sheleima bsoch shar cholei yisroel! Tizku L’Mitzvos!

    in reply to: Sephardim and Giyur #1029548

    p.s. also, even “preparing” for my giur that was never to be, I was kind of “forced” to get my act together and take on things kind of in a hurry (sort of). Remember i wanted to have my chuppah…. etc. I think I would have taken my time if it were not for the situation described above

    in reply to: Sephardim and Giyur #1029547

    Naysberg: i tried to make it short, but it doesn’t make sense short. Basically, I grew up very far from Yiddishkeit, very far. In other words, we identified as Jewish in Russia, but when we moved to America and lived around goim in middle america, my parents were even ok with me marrying a goy, for example, at least that is what they said (as long as he was a good person). (In Russia they would have not been happy about it– in America it no longer really mattered,the lines got really blurred)

    Also, silly comments were made in jest about my mother’s side of the family because they were from Poland way back, and my father was from the Ukraine. Well, jokes should be made carefully… enough said.

    Somehow for whatever reason I got into my head that possibly my mother’s side was Polish (not Jewish). My mother knew nothing about her grandmother… no pictures could be found, nothing. When i started to become observant, I asked if my grandmother was Jewish and the answer I got was ” yes, i guess she was. we never asked questions like that, what difference does it make? Blah Blah… no one could confirm if my grandmother was or was not Jewish…Not knowing anything about my great grandmother and having no records, no photos, I went to talk to someone that I thought could resolve this issue. Unfortunately I talked to someone who knew very little(that is all i want to say) and he said that of course, I need a giur. It was crazy for me. I went to a class where I was the only Jewish person and everyone else in the process of conversion. It was a major culture shock to me. Imagine, i was just becoming observant and it did not take much to freak me out at that time. My husband and I wanted to have a chuppa and everything was stalled. Finally, Boruch Hashem we went to talk to a Talmid Chochum, a world renowned posek in these matters… only we could not reach him or catch him… you know min Ha’Shamaim this escapade went on for almost a year. (that is a whole other story) Someone told us actually that people wait years to see this Rav (all nonsense)… anyway, one night my mother was going through old things and she found a photo of her grandmother with the most JEWISH name, with the most Jewish face, and in the morning my husband and I went to the Rosh Yeshiva who was to set me free. I remember him looking at the photographs and the name on the back(we had lost information about the last name as well!) with unbelievable concentration and saying ” There is no question.. these are Jewish people, there is no need for a giur safek (which was an option that we were looking at at the time. Ten years later I think of these words and I get shivers! Talk about a yeshua. We could finally go on with our lives, have a chuppah, a true jewish marriage… etc…. You can suffer in whatever situation you are in, and then in one minute it is all resolved. All my brothers and sisters should have yeshuas min hashamaim like this!

    Also, if it were not for this nisayon, I would not have had the opportunity to say that no matter what, however i get there, through birth or conversion, I WILL be a Jew! Perhaps in some ways it was also a kapparah for all the years that I took my Jewishness for granted…

    in reply to: Sephardim and Giyur #1029538

    Rebdoniel: I really feel for you! sorry I am not addressing your post directly, but I just wanted to share something with you. I grew up completely secular and Jewish, but when I started to return a situation happened that cast doubts as to my mother’s Judaism and my maternal grandmother, etc. It was a real mess that was finally completely resolved without a giur, but I had to go thru A LOT of things that are too long to elaborate here. However, I kind of went through an experience that made me more sensitive than the average to geirus and what it entails. I grew up thinking I was Jewish and then oops! I am probably not or I don’t know if I really am… etc. i always loved being Jewish and completely identified with it… and it was painful to think I wasn’t. one day i was driving in the car and the tears were pouring and I was talking to Hashem and I said, “Hashem I don’t care that I am NOT jewish according to Halacha, it’s ok! I am going to become a Jew whatever it takes because that is the TRUTH”!! It was a choice that I made!

    Later proof of my Jewishness was found, etc… but it was never anymore the idea that I was just born Jewish! I now made a choice to be a Jew and it was even more special to me! It is the most beautiful thing that you are doing! One Rav told me once to remember that we were all geirim once. Even if you are born a Jew, each person still has to make that choice at some point… i think…Hatzlacha Rabba to you in all! It may take time but Hashem will surely help you get there!!

    in reply to: Jewish Women Singers #884100

    shira: just a heads up. yasmin levy is not someone to be fan of. I thought the conversation was about frum women singers, not just JEWISH women singers…

    in reply to: Sheitels #877363

    Reposting this … hoping THIS time it will be allowed through.

    Here is some food for thought…

    A discussion of two rabbis – 9 individual questions and answers.


    1) Question: Why does your wife wear only a headscarf, and not a wig?

    Answer: First of all: why is a married woman not allowed to walk with her head


    There are two different prohibitions:

    of a strange man (Shulchan Aruch -Orach Chaim 75, Mishnah Berurah 10, Geder Olam

    preface and chapter1)
    to walk bare-headed).

    a “davar shebakdusha” , for instance – the Name of God or a prayer – in front of the hair

    direction, not enough to just close his eyes (Shulchan Aruch – Orach Chaim 75:2, and

    Mishnah Berurah, same… siman 5).

    “Erva” (see Talmud, Tractate Brachot) – is the part of the body that is supposed to be

    a Rabbinical prohibition.

    beauty and attractiveness of hair – so the husband can look at his wife’s hair, but a

    strange man cannot.

    Therefore, if the wig has the same power of attraction as the hair, the wig is prohibited

    as well as the hair. Here is what Chessed leAvraham (Rav Avraham Azulai (years 1570-

    1643), a (great?)Grandfather of the well-known Rav Chida) writes: “since the whole

    men, there is no difference between her hair and a wig – it is one and the same Torah

    prohibition, because it is the external attractive-appearance that Torah forbids; many

    more Poskim write the same.

    Meaning: at home, if there are no strange men around, a woman may wear

    she may not go on a street wearing the wig.

    An example for comparison: a woman is not allowed to wear a red colored clothing

    because clothes are not part of the body – not “erva”.

    For those who know Hebrew and want to study these laws with all the primary


    -and that is the basis for the permitting opinion of rabbis of past generations (Shiltei

    Giborim, Rama, and others…). – Is that so?!

    Answer: Here is what all the Rishonim (first and main Talmudic commentators) write:

    Women, who have had their good, beautiful, full hair, did not wear wigs at all.

    In the house and in their backyard, they walked with their heads uncovered (Ktubot

    72:2 and in the commentaries there, the Magen Avraham 75:4); and on the streets

    they wore a headscarf. In those generations the book of Zohar was not yet revealed,

    requiring to cover hair additionally in the house and in the backyard; and it has not yet

    become widely known that the righteous Kimchit merited to have seven sons serving

    as Cohanim Gedolim (High-Priests), because even the walls of her house had not seen

    her hair (the story of Kimchit is brought up in Talmud, in Tractate Yoma 47:1), so in their

    house and their backyard they did not have to cover their hair.

    An important note: at the time of the Talmud there was a fence around the yard,

    because in the yard, not in the house, they cooked and washed- and strange men

    generally were not present there (see Rashi, tractate Bava Batra top).

    Women who did not have good, full hair (i.e., bald, gray, etc.) wore wigs in the house

    as well as in the yard to please their husbands. On the street they covered the entire

    wig with a scarf to look like all women – and all married women went on the street

    look like everyone else “- in the yard and on the street. The wig created the effect that

    underneath the headscarf there is good, full hair. Besides, in case the scarf would

    accidentally move, nobody would see that there is a problem with the hair. Here is what

    many commentators of the Talmud write – to quote two of them:

    Ritva (Tractate Shabbat 65:1): “a woman wears something UNDER a headscarf

    because of a defect in her hair.” And it is the opinion of all Rishonim (first and foremost

    Talmudic commentators).

    comes out in a wig – it means she has NO hair of her own, takes cut hair and puts it

    under the scarf to look like the one who has good hair.”

    That is: the wig replaced not the headscarf, as it does today, but their hair.

    3) Question: But our great-grandmothers in Russia and Europe wore wigs! We have

    a tradition which we rely on!

    Answer: The custom of wearing wigs in “reshut harabim” (i.e. on the street) appeared in

    the latest generations of about 150 years ago due to the decree of the Russian Tsar for

    Jews to change their attire:

    Aruch HaShulchan Ohr hAChaim 551:11: “in our time – because of the order of

    the authorities we have changed the dress code” – and Jewish women were forced to

    Jews (maskilim).

    Rav Shlomo Kluger (in the book Shnot Chaim 316): “There was a “gzera” in Russia

    (an order decreed by the authorities) to go bare-headed – and in our time many walk

    that way deliberately.” I.e.: first, there was a “gzera”; afterwards this “tradition” spread

    from city to city and from country to country, from Russia to Europe. Unfortunately, even

    the wives of Rabbis walked with uncovered head.

    Attempts to justify (already after the gzera was canceled) that this “tradition” is

    contrary to the Torah brought no results – see Aruch HaShulchan 75:7, Kaf HaChaim


    Righteous Jewish women could not walk in a kerchief during the gzera, as expected by

    of two evils – wearing a wig. So, for the royal gendarmeries, they looked like women

    with their heads uncovered. But they intentionally made their wigs such that they did not

    Now please tell: Is this the tradition on which we rely? Is this the tradition that we

    should continue?

    the whole point of prohibiting wigs is that people may think that it’s a woman’s own hair.

    But today there’s no such problem since everyone knows that it’s a wig.

    rely on the words of the author of the book Be’er Sheva (he was the first who wrote that

    He writes that the wig is prohibited, and continues: “… because a lot of things were

    ban on the blood of fish (which is really allowed, but may think that this is the blood

    of animals, which is not allowed). If so, then why does it say “for women”? There is

    A.) The Talmud Tractate Shabbat 64:2

    (satiated) their eyes with what was forbidden to see …” – Rashi explains: The Jews

    B.) The Mishnah tractate Bchorot Chapter 7 mishnayot 3 and 5: The physical defects

    of the bodies of Cohanim are listed – because of which they cannot work in the Bet

    a trauma- but it is something that has an unusual outer appearance.

    immodest, and not that it will be mistaken for your hair.

    Otherwise it is impossible to explain why he writes: “… a lot of things were

    5) Question: The purpose of the obligation to cover one’s head is for other’s not to think

    that a married woman is not married-but today they know she’s married.


    of a head covering) regulation.

    Imagine a school for girls where teachers wear wigs. If these girls will put on

    If, on the other hand at a school for girls where teachers wear headscarves, the

    students will put on the similar headscarves – obviously, none of the rabbis will say: “No!

    say: “Very good. This is more modest”.

    Moreover, in many eastern communities – the girls as well as married women

    B.) If this would be the point of the hair covering, the Torah could require of the

    married women to make a special mark on their clothes, as do police officers, as did

    Canaanite slaves (see Talmud, Tractate Shabbat 57:2). Why the necessity to take away

    from a woman all her beauty? And even if the Torah wanted to make this special sign to

    or a scarf in the middle of the head – and already she would be clearly seen as married.

    Why completely cover the hair?

    The whole essence of the prohibition specifically for the married women is that:

    than the issur-prohibition for an unmarried woman;

    – The inclination for that which is forbidden – yetzer-haRa – for another man’s wife is

    stronger (because the “forbidden water tastes better” – see Talmud tractate Sanhedrin

    75:1, and a tractate Avodah Zarah 20:1);

    – She has no reason to be liked by outsiders / strangers. But an unmarried lady

    beautifying themselves even in the days of mourning for their father – to look pleasing

    to a prospective groom). The fact that some girls wear headscarves in certain eastern

    communities – is a stringency of the law, for greater modesty.

    See: Chofetz Chaim in the preface and in the fourth chapter of the book Geder

    Olam where he writes: “It is obvious and clear to everyone that the meaning of the law

    attract attention with her hair; and for that she will answer in the future.”

    From the words of Chofetz Chaim we see that (1) the gist of the commandment

    to cover the hair is – modesty, and (2) that it is obvious, and (3) that the hair of the

    perseveres in men.

    Talmud Tractate Ktubot 72:2 and all the commentators there, Trumat Adeshen

    10, Levush Even haEzer 21:2: Jewish women must not walk with their heads uncovered

    kabalistic connotation in this prohibition. Furthermore (this was already brought in the

    first section), when Chessed LeAvraham writes: “since the whole point of the prohibition

    difference between her hair and a wig – it is one and the same Torah prohibition,

    because it is the external attractive-appearance that Torah forbids; many more Poskim

    write the same.

    Conclusion: A woman is not obligated to look married, but IS obligated to look


    6) Question: There are many standpoints concerning this law, permitting and forbidding

    – and those that wear wigs rely on the permitting ones (which are the main Rabbis of

    their generation – Shiltei Giborim, Rama and others).

    Answer: Here is the groundwork of all the permitting standpoints:

    Shiltei Giborim (the author, Rav Yehoshua Boaz, one of the leading Torah scribes in his

    generation who lived about 450 years ago);

    – Shiltei Giborim derives his permission from the fact that the Talmud (in the


    After the publication of his book about one hundred Rabbis wrote that they have

    view on allowing or not allowing one to wear a wig.

    About 35 years ago (or more precisely: since 1975) a group of Rabbis began to

    scrutinize the details of all laws relating to wigs, and found in the book – Makor Chaim

    (the author is known as “Chovot Yair”- lived about 300 years ago) and in other books –

    that there is no dispute and that Shiltei Giborim prohibits the wig in reshut-harabim and

    in his permission – he has in mind – the yard. [And Rama and a few more authors

    understood his heter-permission the same way – they also allow the wig ONLY in the

    house and in the backyard].

    We have already mentioned (with more details in the second section of the book)

    that: (1) the yard at the time of the Talmud was surrounded by a fence and strange men

    were not generally there, (2) only in the yard of a woman walked in wearing a wig

    without a headscarf on it, (3) in reshut- harabim / on the street – the wig was worn with

    of a headscarf on top that covered the wig completely.

    Talmudic commentators tried to understand what exactly Shiltei Giborim allows:

    not necessary to write about that;

    – If he allows an uncovered wig in the yard – it is also clear that it is permissible

    purpose of writing about the wig].

    So what comes out is: Shiltei Giborim allows a bare wig on the street (if only by

    default / there are no other options left), although he himself never writes in his book

    that he permits it. And with this resolution dozens of rabbis of following generations

    began arguing: in the Talmud, there are no proofs that it is allowed to wear a wig

    who were before him?

    Chovot Yair draws attention to the following: Shiltei Giborim considered as did

    part of the commentators before him, that already during the Talmudic times women

    took upon themselves an additional requirement: to cover their heads not only on the

    street but also in the yard. This means that the answer to the question “Can one wear a

    wig in the courtyard” is not self-evident. Hence, it is necessary to understand whether

    the wig in courtyard is allowed or not allowed. In his book, Shiltei Giborim proves that

    uncovered, they have not extended this issur/prohibition on wigs. That is: if, previously,

    a woman walked in her backyard wearing a wig, she continued to do so after the onset

    of this ruling.

    In the text of Shiltei Giborim itself – there are many ambiguities and obscure

    places-if we assume that he writes about “reshut harabim. But if we say that he writes

    about the yard, everything will become clear. Here’s one example: Shiltei Giborim builds

    his whole evidence on the Mishnah of Tractate Shabbat 64:2, which states: “… a

    The Talmud allows one to come out in a wig ONLY in the yard, but not on the street.

    Sages feared that a woman will come to carry her wig in her hand on Shabbat on

    the street in a place where one cannot carry things. How can this be – what a normal

    person would carry a wig in her hand instead of putting it on her head?! Talmudic

    commentators give two answers to this question:

    – She wants to show her beautiful wig to a friend and pull it off from under her


    – Both the scarf and the wig together may fall off the head and then she would

    immediately put on the scarf on her head and carry the wig in her hand, to put it

    together and wear it at a different point in time. In any case – if there was a wig on her

    head, then there was a scarf on top of it.

    This is precisely what Chovot Yair writes: the conclusion that Shiltei Giborim

    that in the reshut harabim – on the street – on top of the wig women wore a kerchief that

    covered it completely.

    For those who know Hebrew and want to study these laws with all the primary sources


    Answer: Sure. I also had acted in accordance with this rule. all my life. Do what the

    sages of the Torah will say, even if they tell you that the right is left and left is right.

    However the Talmud explicitly says in a clear text that this rule has an exception.

    Tractate Orayot in the beginning analyzes this situation: Sanhedrin – the main Jewish

    authority – decreed that a certain thing is allowed. But one of the sages of the Torah

    knows that the Sanhedrin made a mistake. This man cannot allow himself and others

    that which the Sanhedrin allowed. And if he allowed, despite the fact that he knew that

    the Sanhedrin made a mistake, then (says Rashi) he understood the commandment

    of “emunat chachamim” (do what the rabbis say) wrong (!).

    Here is what the Rambam writes (Laws of Shgagot Chapter 13 law 5): … for

    example, the Sanhedrin allowed to eat the fat that is on the cow’s stomach, and one of

    the sages of the Torah knew it was a mistake, that this fat is not allowed for

    allow- and ate the forbidden fat – he violated the law. Two important details:

    – Knew that it is forbidden;

    – Did not know that in this situation he cannot rely even on the permission of the


    There is a contradiction: on the one hand, we must do what the sages say. On

    the other hand, we do not accept their resolution. Ramban writes (see the beginning of

    Sefer haMitzvot and in the book Sefer haChinuch Mitzvah 496): only after the

    Sanhedrin had considered all the arguments of this Sage and showed their failure, only

    then the binding decision of the Sanhedrin becomes mandatory for us. Also see the

    comment of Chazon Ish in the beginning of the Gemara Orayot – this law operates in

    our generations as well.

    If we know that something is forbidden, it is prohibited to listen not only to our rabbi,

    but even the Sanhedrin.

    their permission on the book of Shiltei Giborim (or Rama, which brings in his book the

    opinion of Shiltei Giborim). But in their understanding of this book there is a mistake –

    Shiltei Giborim allows one to wear a wig in the house and in the yard, but in no way on


    8) Question: What do you say about a modest wig?

    Answer: everyone agrees that immodest, beautiful wigs are prohibited, but they say

    my wig is modest.

    hair is modest?

    And is there, in our times, a “modest” wig?

    attract attention of strange men – there is no difference between her own hair and a wig;

    and even the most modest, unattractive hair is prohibited. Anyone with whose hair is

    long and whose hair is short, young and old – everyone must wear a headscarf or a hat.

    Especially, today’s modest wig – is much prettier than the hair of many women whose

    own hair is not very pretty. And just because the technology of the wig production is

    constantly improving, people think that a wig which is not of the newest is – modest.

    That is: a wig, which 30 years ago was considered the most beautiful and attractive,

    now is called “modest.”

    Today’s modest wig (short, neat and even synthetic) certainly attracts attention.

    Moreover it is more beautiful than the hair of many women (all those who have flawed

    hair, of all elderly, old, gray).

    wore a wig which has a mixture of real and synthetic hair-Can somebody distinguish

    which are real, and which are synthetic? And even if the “experts” can tell the

    difference, does that change anything for the most of the people (the more so that a

    Rav Gedaliah Nadel (one of the great rabbis of the Lithuanian trend; Chazon Ish

    greatly valued him) wrote about 40 years ago: “In my opinion, even if in the past, all the

    rabbis allowed to wear a wig, today they would all be ban it.” This is written at a time

    when wigs were much simpler than today’s “modest” ones.

    Is there even one Sage in the world who can explain: if the whole point of the

    ban is – “pritzut degavrey” – not to attract the attention of strange men; How can a wig

    Rav Don Segal in one of his speeches said: “… People come to me and say that for

    them the charedi/orthodox women are more attractive than the non-religious women …

    today’s wigs create more problems than real hair …”

    People often say: But the men have become accustomed to this; many women

    wear wigs- and a person does not pay attention to that what he sees often and hence

    he is used to it.

    If so, let the Torah bichlal/ at all -not prohibit walking with head uncovered. After

    all, before the wedding women walk bareheaded – so let them continue walking like this

    problem. Why davka/specifically after the wedding, the Torah requires a head covering,

    despite the fact that all are used to this?

    If so, then why, when in Russia and Europe 100 – 150 years ago, women went

    bareheaded (more details – the third section of the book), both children and adults

    constantly saw the hair of the married women. And ALL (!) Rabbis were saying: assur/

    forbidden. This is the Torah prohibition. See, for example, what Chofetz Chaim writes in

    to the hair of married women – and there is no problem.

    This is why- nothing changes the fact that we are used to the wigs. The Torah

    forbids a married woman to expose her hair so as not to attract the attention of strange

    men, even if they are “accustomed” to see the hair of women. So that the woman would

    feel that she is married; that she should be liked by her husband, and not by the strange

    more so.

    There are those who object that from under the headscarf sometimes a few hairs

    stick out but a wig covers the hair completely. The simple answer to this is that – wigs

    are prohibited as well as fully uncovered own hair. Additionally, everyone can see for

    himself: laws of Beit Yosef- Kriyat Shema chapter 75 and the Shulchan Aruch there

    paragraph 2 and see that this objection is wrong.

    wife to wear a wig?

    Answer: Does the woman have to wear a wig on the street in order to please her

    this acceptable?

    Rabbeinu Yonah in Igeret Teshuva writes: “A woman must be modest and

    cautious so as no men look at her other than her husband. Because those who look go

    down to gehenom (hell), and she gets punished for all of them put together since she

    Orchot tzadikim: “A woman, who beautifies herself before men, ignites fire in

    their hearts and initiates forbidden thoughts in the heart; and therefore her punishment

    is very great.” Was it for this that she got married?

    The Talmud brings in stories about how a woman adorned herself in the house –

    for her husband, but walking out on the street she dressed modestly (wife of Aba

    Chilkiya and others). Rav Chaim Kanievsky writes about this in more detail in his

    book “Orchot Yosher” p.77. Details

    Sometimes women say: “My intentions are pure; I want to be beautiful for my

    husband on the street as well. And the fact that other men are looking at me is THEIR

    misunderstanding of the law. After all, she can walk with her head uncovered as well

    and also say: “the fact that others are looking at me -is THEIR problem. Let them not

    the first section of this book), the wig is as equally prohibited as the hair.

    See what Chofetz Chaim writes in the fourth chapter of the book “Geder Olam”

    (when in Russia and in Europe – women went bare-headed): “Let her not deceive

    herself that she will be saved from punishment because she was supposed to beautify

    herself in the eyes of her husband- this is a mistake because that needs to be done at

    For those who know Hebrew and want to study these laws with all the primary sources


    Translation (w/cuts and minor changes – agreed with the author)

    in English: Brakha V Shalom brakhavshalom @

    in Russian: Keter Kodesh [email protected]

    original Hebrew:


    Rav Ben Tzion Mutzafi: ???? ??? ????? ?????? ??????? ????? ?? ??? ??????? , ?? ????? ??? ???? ????? , ???? ???????? ????? ??? ??? ???? , ?????? ?????? ??????? ???? ??????? ??? ??????? .

    ????? ???? ????? ??????? , ?? ??? ????? ?? ??????? ??????? ??????? ????? , ?????? ??? ?????? ????? ?????? ????? ?????? ???? !!! ?????? ??????? ??????? ??????? ??? ?????? ??????? , ?? ????? ??????? ?????? ??????? ???? ????? ??????? .

    ?? ?? ??? ???? ????? ?????? ?? ???? ???? ?? ??? ???? ????? ???? ?????? ??? ????? ????? ?? ??? ??? , ?????? ?????? ??????? ??? ???? ?? ?????? ??? ????? ???? ?? ??? ?? ??? ??? ????? .

    ??? ?? ??? ?? ?????? ????? ???? ???? ?? ????? ?? ????? ?????? ????? ?? ??????? ?????? ??? , ???? ????? ???? ????? ????? ?? ????? ?????? ???????? ??? ???????? ?????? ?????? ??????? .

    ?? ?? ???? ??? , ??? ???? ?? .


    recommended blog post worth looking at that quotes more Gedolim:

    Why is Am Israel suffering so much? Why are there so many illnesses? Why so many tragedies in Am Israel? Why are we suffering so much? Why are there so many widoes and orphans in Am Israel? Why is Am Israel drowning in pain, lack of livlihood, illnesses, suffering?

    Rav Ovadia Yosef Shlita

    What I’m saying is from the Gdolei HaDor and poskim and not from my heart and my mind. 200 years ago Hagaon Pinchas Levy Horwitz, zs’kl, the Av Bet Din in Frankfurt took out a sefer Torah and with 2 talmidei Chachamim Dayanim, he placed a complete cherem (total exclusion of a person from the Jewish community) on any woman that wears a wig in public. He said on the Sefer Torah that any woman wearing a wig will be placed on the highest ecclesiastical censure.

    The reason a wig is prohibited is because it is not modest – it doesn’t matter if the hair of the wig comes from India or Ghana – it remains immodest.

    Every women that wishes her sons to be Tzaddikim, the Zohar HaKadosh writes, “she must be modest.” Women that wear wigs do not have Yirat Shamayim – fear of heaven. The biggest problem is these women think it’s allowed and they deny the Tzaddikim’s cherem. Those that make fun of women that are modest and cover their hair with kerchiefs, their sin is multifaceted, oy to them.

    If a woman wants to cover her hair with kerchief but her husband doesn’t allow her, he is considered a wicked man, a sinner that causes others to sin, oy to him. His Torah is invalid and unacceptable. All his deeds are corrupt.

    If we don’t believe our Poskim and Gaonim that said that wigs are prohibited, who are we going to believe?

    Posek HaDor HaGaon Rabbi Shmuel HaLevy Vosner Shlita

    What benifit is a kosher Mezuza if the impurity enters the Jewish home?. A wig’s origin is from Tachtit Sheol (lowest hell). We are witnesses that we want to be Bnei Torah and simoutaneously enjoy the ‘modern’ world. The wives wears immodest clothing that comes from the central immodest country – Paris. Women need to cover their hair in the upmost modest way but unfortunately, in many Jewish homes, many Jewish women has turned the Halacha into a performance and Jewish married women do not look religious. They don’t even look like they are married women; they look more like actresses from the ‘streets’. They don’t look like holy women, they look like Paris fashion. ChaZaL says, “???? ????? ?????” hair on a woman is forbidden. What a forgery it is to cover hair with hair!! The wig is more sexually stimulating than natural hair. What forgery!!!

    Whether women that wear wigs know or do not know that it’s forbidden, they are sinners that cause others to sin ?????? ????????. They cause their neighborhood and community to transgress a severe Torah prohibition, “??? ????? ???? ????? ????? ?????? do not go after your heart and your eyes”.

    HaGaon HaTzaddik Rabbi Shalom Shvadron, zs’kl

    I want to tell you a true story and I wish it was not a true story. 25 years ago a girl came to our house and she spoke to my wife for 4 hours. While I was sitting and learning, I thought to myself that any person that speaks for 4 hours must need a drink. I told my wife, “perhaps give this girl a drink and something to eat?” The girl heard me and said to my wife, “it’s not necessary. I’m going home and I’ll eat and drink at my home.” When she said that I realized this girl is married and has a husband. So why does she look like a girl? You think it’s funny??? It’s not funny!!! They want to look like unattached women. This ‘wanting’ is ??????? unfit, not Kosher!

    Women with wigs light the Shabbat candles Friday night and request ‘things’ from HaShem. OY VEY GEVALD!!!! She is praying to HKB’H? Her prayers are abomination! ???? ???? ????? ???? ?? ?????? ?????” A person that does not listen to Torah scholars, his prayers are abomination.” HaShem will not listen to these prayers. In this black epidemic, rachman litzlan, who knows what Divine punishment is knocking on our door? HaShem have mercy on us.

    HaGaon HaTzadik Rabbi Dan Segal Shlita

    People come and tell me that they have hard tests but it is not from secular people, the tests are from Charedim. Women attract attention, especially married women. One look, one thought, HaShem protect us, it’s a complete destructable fire. It’s terrible, terrible! The evil inclination works 24 hours a day. It’s horrible they consider it to be a head covering. The whole thing is ludicrous! I personally heard from my teacher and Rebbi, HaGaon Shlomo Zalman Auerbach, zs’kl, one of the world’s foremost poskim and roshei yeshiva, 50 years ago he said that a woman wearing a wig entering Yerushalayim would be stoned. He said, “50 years ago the wigs looked like straw – even a blind person was able to see that it was a wig. But today, I cannot know if a woman is covering her hair or not.” He added, “For me this is very repulsive. It’s like someone who eats Kosher meat but makes every effort for the meat not to look Kosher. Women cover their hair and makes every effort to appear as if her hair is not covered.”

    Who can afford to carry this sin? It is promiscuity.

    Many women want to cover their hair modestly but the bigger problem are their husbands – they will not allow it. It’s not a simple time – we don’t need, c’v, for HKB’H to send us sharper and clearer messages. HaShem is already shaking up the world – it’s enough hint. We need to be modest as it says, “?? ????? ?? ??? ????? “The King’s daughter is all glorious within.”

    The main thing is modesty! Blessings, abundance, success begins with modesty. The Chofetz Chaim, zs’kl, says, “We pray so much, we learn so much, why there are no heavenly blessings? Why there is no livlihood? Why so many are so poor? The Chofetz Chaim says it is because we are not careful with modesty. We pray, learn, and make Brachot next to ???? nakedness.

    Oy, the weakness! What’s left for HKB’H? Who remains loyal to HaShem? Very few individuals! Who observes modesty? It’s like a father and all his sons betrayed him. Only one remained loyal but soon this son will also betray him and leave him. How much pain??? If we, the religious Jews, do not observe the Torah and its Mitzvot, what is left?

    HaRav Uri Sofer Shlita

    The Gerrer Rebbe, the Imrei Emet, z’skl, and the Chofetz Chaim announced in the largest gathering in 1918 of Jews and Rabbanim, “How can the heart of a Jew not shake and fear from the punishment of “?? ???? ?? ????? ??? ??? ?????? He must not see anything indecent among you or He will turn away from you.”

    A few years after this gathering, over 6 million Jews were merciless murdered in the Holocaust War. Women bring the holocaust, c’v, with immodesty to Am Israel.

    The Rambam, zs’kl, says there are 24 things that postpone repentance and there are things that cause a person to be judged to remain in Gehenom forever and ever. One of these are “????? ?? ?????? causing others to sin.”

    The religious Jews of Am Israel are strict with many Mitzvot such as Kashrut, Matzah on Pesach, sitting in a Succa in Succot, fasting on Yom Kippur — why are they not careful with modesty which is the core of the Mitzvot? No other Mitzva has so many warnings of punishment as modesty.

    A few years ago there was a tremendeous scandal with Indian hair wigs and Jewish women removed their wigs and even burned them and began wearing only modest kerchiefs. We know that nothing is a coincidence and everything is Divine Providence. Why did HKB’H do this? An angel in Shamayim prosecuted Am Israel and it caused Am Israel to go thru a lot of suffering. The angel said to HKB’H “how is it possible that the chosen nation will not give HKB’H their most loved possession? 8 millions Indians sacrifice their hair to a false god and idol, they cut off all their hair to their false god, and the Jewish nation, who are light unto the nations, do not sacrifice their most loved possession for HKB’H?” A women’s greatest beauty is her hair. HKB’H commanded women: When you get married, hide your hair because you must distance yourself from strangers. Cover your hair, cover your beauty, so you will be protected, hidden, and modest.

    The seculars descended to such low levels because of the religious Jews. They see that we don’t observe HaShem’s Mitzvot and are not modest. ChaZaL says, “??? ???? ?? ???? The tail follows the head.” If the head is rotten so too the tail.

    The key to bring the final redemption is with the women. CHaZaL says, “??? ????? ?????? ??? ????? ???? ???????” Am Israel will not be redeem because of men, Rabbanim or Tzaddikim, only thru the merit of holy women. A woman that observes modesty, it is as if she is doing 100s of Mitzvot every second. Every drop of sweat that she sweats because she is dressed modestly, it becomes tal (dew) and this tal will be used for the resurrection.

    Women of Am Israel – you must be strict and observe the laws of modesty and it will be in your merit that we will be redeemed speedily in our days, Amen.

    in reply to: Memoir called "Unorthodox" and its effect on us #868341

    I would love to write a book about how my family became frum and how we were saved from the Gehenom of the secular world with its complete lack of decency or modesty, or any values to speak of (besides just doing whatever you want…). I would love to write it and really tell what it means to live a meaningful life of serving Hashem versus an empty life surrounded by sheker and blindly painfully searching for truth sometimes in all the wrong places … but who would publish it? This is not what interests these people. They are interested in stories like the one above…

    in reply to: TAKE TEHILLIM HERE – Rav Elyashiv In need of Rachamei Shamayim! #850851

    can we start another round i can take 1-10

    in reply to: TAKE TEHILLIM HERE – Rav Elyashiv In need of Rachamei Shamayim! #850849

    what are you up to? can you please assign 5

    in reply to: TAKE TEHILLIM HERE – Rav Elyashiv In need of Rachamei Shamayim! #850801


    in reply to: TAKE TEHILLIM HERE – Rav Elyashiv In need of Rachamei Shamayim! #850797

    what are you up to I would like to take 20


    in reply to: How can a Parent not? #847580

    Health: Thank you so much for the information. I wish I had it when my son was in the parsha because I was so pressured to NOT vaccinate and BH I did not listen to bubba maises (spell?:) and DID vaccinate my child. I was pretty paranoid each time though and fearful that he may have a bad reaction. Still, I have to say that I never did more than 1 (or 2 shots if it had to be that way) at a time. Unless they have a medical degree and have done research in this area you should not give your opinion on a medical issue. I was once at a playground when my son had bad mosquito bites all over that were healing but still looked like possible marks from chicken pox when another mother approached me and asked if he had chicken pox. I told her that he did not and… she was very disappointed. It turns out that she wanted her daughter to get it…because she doesn’t believe in vaccinations.

    in reply to: We're Waiting #845974

    thank you for the chizuk!! i am printing this out…

    in reply to: A new perpective on everything happening #841236

    Thank you!! I really needed chizuk … this is so true and we all need to hear it. The story touches me very much each time.

    in reply to: I want to be the most perfect wife be'esras hashem bekorov! #806418

    if you are in Brooklyn, go to listen to Rabbi Shlomo Brevda, he speaks at Young Israel on Sunday night (Ocean Avenue and Ave. L) And if you are not in Brooklyn, he is online on You may find help there. Hatzlacha!

    in reply to: To those brothers and sisters on the East Coast… #803490

    We re out here in Flatbush davening for all Yidden to be safe everywhere here and in E’Y. It is scary outside! This is an early call for teshuva:)) Never too early I guess. I wanted to comment because this thread is amazing! Yidden are the best!! we should always remember that and commit to not being petty again. When things go down — when anything happens — here people are offering their homes, etc. I am so touched by this this thread!! Mi Kamocha Yisroel!

    in reply to: New Lipa Song For Leiby #797944

    i just wanted to clarify my earlier post. I was talking about a different clip I had seen when this first happened. WHen I saw it first I just broke down and sobbed… but OF COURSE, that doesn’t mean that listening to a song is the ONLY way one should deal with this tragedy. It is so much deeper than that obviously.

    I have seen the new video and though I have no opinion if it is good or not good — I don’t care — it is much of the same…Lipa as an artist trying to make sense of this in his own way, ONE way and perhaps there are other ways he is dealing with what happened too. THat doesn’t mean that he doesn’t also soul search, etc. etc.. etc… Why this criticism of Lipa? Don’t we all have something we need to work on?? If this could have happened clearly there is something seriously wrong!! This tragedy is NOT normal and should never have happened. We are all trying to make sense of this, please stop judging the wrong things, a Yid’s sincere tries to put words (and in this case lyrics) to our collective pain …

    in reply to: New Lipa Song For Leiby #797929

    I just wanted to say something that perhaps may sound naive…I don’t know much about the business aspect of Jewish music, or music in general, and I am not a Lipa fan in particular. However, when I heard his song, the tears that were stuck in my throat finally came out and it helped me to mourn at least in part this horrific tragedy. At that moment, it gave me an opportunity to emote… I don’t see anything wrong with the song. I dont care that Lipa is a singer… to me he is just another Yid and I am sure that he felt the same way that we all did. Honestly, I haven’t seen the video since because it hurts too much, and I am in a different place … trying at least to focus on the part that Ribbono Shel Olam has his reasons and runs HIS world in ways I can’t possibly understand. Still, I think such harsh condemnation of Lipa is counterproductive and simply mean. In my humble opinion, he expressed his feelings in the medium that is most natural for him. Would you feel the same way if a poet would write a poem, etc.?

    in reply to: Delete Your Facebook Account for Leiby #791387

    Dear LovesbeingJewish,

    I rarely post in coffee room only when I connect with something. I so agree with your take about Facebook! By some responses it is clear how we all like to rationalize our taivos.

    Facebook is opening yourself up to all kinds of narishkeit. It is NOT a place for someone that wants to guard themeself and their family from the garbage that is out there. What is the conversation about? Leiby a’h was never on Facebook? Cmon.

    The point is what happened to our community is tremendous and it has shaken us all up. I am not the same person — but if we wouldn’t have needed this wake up call, this situation would never have happened. Has there ever been a crime like this within klal Yisroel?

    Facebook is just one kind of nonsense. the point in my humble opinion is not about facebook only, but to wake up from our slumber and understand taht we are Yidden and we have work to do in this short time in this world.

    Ribono Shel Olam is waiting for our chessed, tefillos, learning, growing, changing our nature for the better…. etc etc etc. not more nonsense. If there are friends on facebook that you want to keep in touch with, there is a great invention called a telephone! I am not saying it is simple or easy and sometimes it is easier to seek distractions, but if we continue to distract rather than talk to Hashem (and cry to Hashem) then R’L our precious time to DO what we came here to do will be wasted.

    in reply to: RAV EISENBERGER'S SPEECH BY LEVAYA #789659

    thank you so much for responding. i will check out all these options.

    in reply to: Why do I feel so guilty? #789318

    exactly the same. just actually told my Rebbetzin this. Basically, guilt is counterproductive, however if this does not prompt me to do teshuva and to improve my ways in accordance with the will of Hashem… then Leibi A’H suffered in vain… i can’t allow that

    in reply to: RAV EISENBERGER'S SPEECH BY LEVAYA #789653

    Please Please, can anyone translate Rabbi Eisenberger’s hesped into English. We all desperately need the chizuk Tizku L’Mitzvos

    in reply to: "Minchas Yehuda" l'iluye nishmas Yehuda ben Reb Nachman #786843

    Rebbishe Yid! Thank you for your post. I believe that is what we should all be doing… thinking of ways to improve. Rabbi Shlomo Brevda Shlita discusses this in his latest shiur… you can check it out on it is amazing

    in reply to: Does anyone care? Are we so stupid? #785944

    WIY: Everything you said is true and extremely difficult to deal with… Thank you for speaking the truth and caring.

    We need to constantly hear the truth, otherwise the yetzer makes us drunk. Our challenge is to stay awake. There are very clear divisions now in our time, there are those that want the truth and are thirsty for it and those that want to bury their head in the sand… I am trying to be mild.

    Listen to Rabbonim that are speaking TRUTH to us, listen to Rabbi Shlomo Brevda’s shiurim… Rabbi Mansour… etc. We have to surround ourselves with those that want the truth as much as possible — that want to live a spiritual life — and want their whole lives to be about giving nachas to Ribbono Shel Olam.

    in reply to: Why we are not married! #782288

    Dear Fedex! i feel for you, so brainwashed by society you are. I am not American and therefore and don’t buy anorexic is beautiful message, Boruch Hashem, but I am always shocked by people like you. If you are not married, it is not surprising, your lack of insight shows in your shallow attitudes toward women. My response is obviously limited by teh nature of this mixed public forum, but I can only tell you that men with a normal psyche and attitudes toward relationships with the opposite sex are not interested in an ironing board… Most women that are size 12 and 14 are completely normal size. Maybe sixteen is a little bit on the plumpier side but it really depends on the body type. As someone who is 12-14 and comfortable, I just want to cry for you. You are missing out on what is beautiful and healthy in life. Hashem gave us food to enjoy, not to be gourmet fressers constantly eating or “snacking” but also not to restrict (i know according to you it is self-control, discipline — only a real tzadekes can reach such a madrega, right?) Eating peas for lunch and a cracker for dinner so you don’t gain weight is due to exaggerated fear of rejection by society… etc. No normal woman can be happy that way. To enjoy a big piece of challah on Shabbos, to enjoy some kugel. True, there are clearly people that are naturally size 2 and I know some of them. They are very nice women and have great bubbly personalities and believe me they don’t deprive themselves… speaking of self-control, one of them eats all the time and talks about food all the time too… They are nice women and men that want their wives to look like pubescent boys will certainly find them attractive, but men that want women that resemble women may reject them… However, either way people are more than size and this obsession with weight and looks is not Jewish at all

    in reply to: Inspiring Davening Stories – HELP ME!!! #1041148

    Still looking you really made me smile. Hashem cares about us even in the silliest seemingly unimportant things.

    in reply to: Chinuch in public-What Do You Think? #891854

    apushatayid, if you are in the brooklyn area, could you please let me know where this parenting class is given. I really need it and it would be such a chessed.

    Or if anyone knows of any parenting class in the Brooklyn area. We are “yeshivish” if that makes any difference… and now going through the “terrific twos” I realize that it is all part of normal life, but knowing how to deal would help tremendously, especially when we were not raised frum. (We are talking to daas Torah already…but i think could still use constant guidance in the context of a class)

    in reply to: Time to Daven for Childless Couples? #772088

    This is a beautiful tefillah, wow!!!!!!!!!! I am printing it to have. Your feelings and your sincerity is so touching for me. I waited a long time to have children and know the pain intimately. It is very, very hard to deal with at times. Actually, all the time. May Your heartfelt tefillos for childless Jewish couples be answered — and they should finally hold their little ones in their arms and thank Hashem endlessly. Thank you!!!

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