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TLIK > You listed issues that are of really dubious value
I was only partially serious indeed. But why not? One of the problems in modern world is too many choices that makes it hard to commit, expecting a better something later on. So, why not eliminate possible friction items off the table? We have here otherwise reasonable people not being able to agree on whether Hunter Biden is Joe Biden’s son or not. Could you imagine Hasan and Kalla having this argument?! Even if their positions are both unsupported (or maybe especially then), it is better for them to have the same opinions.
You can also say that same opinions and habits are simanim that their middos and attitudes are similar. For example, do we have many families where spouses disagree on a bitter topic of covid behaviors. There are some but most are closer to each other, I think, than two random people from the same community. This is a novel issue that was not discussed at the shiduch but some commonality leads to similar thinking.
Avira > Dealing with the prospect of a get before even getting married is a recipe for disposable marriages
I deduce your wife’s kesuba did not include financial stipulations?
Gemora says that if someone has $1 mln dollars, he wants another $1 mln – here is a country with the biggest territory in the world and it needs more buffer space.
As to atrocities, this is already clear for several weeks, now we just get evidence for court proceedings. Politicians who are saying “now, it is different” are not honest – they could have deduced it from the satellite images of destroyed buildings weeks ago. The images are done by commercial companies that anyone can acquire.
Gadol, would you agree that willful suppression of information should at least qualify as campaign contribution? Even if you wrote off media as part of partisan politics, social media companies are under legal cover of neutral service provider. Not being a lawyer, I don’t know whether there is any redress beyond electing Congress that will take those protection away, but this behavior does sound illegal to me.
re: superficial questions. They might be useful given the large number of potential candidates available with current mobility. Why not limit the candidates to those who eat or not gebrochts, daven same nusach, vote the same way, pine for the same team, and squeeze the proverbial toothpaste from the same side. After reducing the friction, parents can consider other more important factors after that or leave it to the youngeles themselves.
That said, here is some useful advice I heard:
– from a Rosh kollel: “I asked only one question – are the parents honest in business”. Of course, this might be too humble. It leaves unsaid that he expected the family to have a business and probably multitude of other things that a Rosh Kolllel may take for granted
– from a Lakewood Rebbetzin: she inquired with families where the hasan was paying attention and good with their children, and she went to his shul to see how seriously he is davening. (This was not for her children’s shidduch, but for her own).re: who can comment on Rambam:
Not being learned up to bring proofs, but I have a general feeling from limited cases: many, not all, traditional commentaries if not argue but at least try to fit Rambam into other shitot and often smooth opinions that are uncomfortable for them. While this is a respectable derech (as long as no book burning occurs), it is distinct of trying to follow in Rambam’s derech as it is. The latter obviously has it’s own dangers as evident in simplistic maskilim and Reformim, etc, but maskilim do not discredit rational and science-aware approach more than astrologists discredit mazalot mentioned in the Gemora. At the end, Rambam gave us valuable tools to address modernity and, while we need to be careful how we employ them, we should not discard them also.Who said we need to discretize the globe into 24 zones with same tim ein each of them? Is this halakha l’Moshe l’Sinai?
Maybe have one US-wide time? Ok, the left coast will need to get up a little earlier…. Russia might have a problem with this. Or go to another extreme: everyone should have time based on their exact location. When NY has 9:00, Monsey time is still 8:55, so you can sleep for 5 extra minutes. And Long Islanders can start davening earlier. Everyone can go to the town with the preferred lifestyle to a minute.
Avram > However, the goyishe bossman does, and tells us to be seated in our fuzzy-walled cells interacting with the glowing rectangle in the morning
Oh, so your problems go well beyond the circle with a stick! get yourself a sensible boss, or sensible AND Jewish, or be your own boss. I used to always get a trouble with a second boss in a company (the first one would be the one who hired me and knew why he wanted me there, but after a random transfer I would get a regular boss).
>> I’LL BE HOME AT MINCHA GEDOLA AND I HOPE TO BE ABLE TO REPORT THE RESULTS OF THIS EXPERIMENT.”
> I bet it’d go over better in December than in June.
Or maybe other way around? Maybe she prefers me earning or learning instead of “helping” at home?
yes, indeed Bava Basra 25 (R Akiva) says that tanneries should not be in the west so that wind does not bring them into the city.
This does not seem to match the low latitude, but wind directions depend on other factors also, like sea. Prevailing winds in Israel are indeed W and WNW. In Yerushalaim, it is West, Except on Rosh Hashsana and Shvues where North is a little more frequent than West. Bnei Brak (aka Tel Aviv) is even more Westerly.
In Bavel, winds are more North than West, so not sure what Gemora makes out of it, but most Rishonim lived with westerly wind, so seems nobody disagrees. I do not see any discussion of this in commentaries, even Steinsalz, does Artscroll mention that this halakha may depend on location!?
Avram, thanks for this important correction. Westerly wind is from Lat 35 deg and up and is indeed relevant to European/American history. Yerushalaim, Bavel, Baghdad are around and below 35 and prevailing wind is opposite – NorthEast, not West. I presume these areas that are close to 35 have smallest effects. I think Bava Basra discusses directions of davening and wind.
Maybe I misunderstand – Kuzari among sources that discourage analysis of emunah? I thought that is what Kuzari does.
>> “Everyone must have a Rov.”
> Source?
Aharei Rabim lehatot!
So, at least two.
smerel > scientific peer reviewed paper about something that can’t be proven true with a clear cause and effect
thanks, this seems to pointing out to the issue at hand. A lot of emerging information is indeed coming first from data science rather than bio experiments, and science seem to have a better handle on experiments than on handling data. And given how often statistics is indeed misused politically, the low level of trust I think is justified. Maybe, the standards will evolve. It is a criminal offense to forge financial statements, an academic offense to fake a biological experiment, even a cyber attack will soon be considered a war act, but mis-using statistics is still a “gray area” indeed.
We do need to catch up, as many decisions are now inevitably done based on such data, especially when time is of essence, like vaccine roll out. I was struck reading an article by a retired vaccine developer who says at the end “if I were a President, I would make sure high schools be well trained in one subject”. I expected him to say biology or public health, but he said “statistics”.
Avram, defending the kid saying
> ta, did you ever get that beketishe checked for shaatnez? It says wool on the label”.I reacted based on a general impression without doing analysis and may be being a little machmir here.
When we look at halochos of parents and teachers, there are often two lines of reasoning – one for parents who are not teachers and they are below teachers [who are teaching for free?] (providing material help, while teachers – Torah), and another for parents who are teachers (or even simply paying for teachers). The latter are above. In current reality, most shomer shabbos parents are in the higher categories – they most likely know some Torah to teach and when they know less, they pay more :).
So, in this case, I think I applied the idea that one does not question a teacher when seeing doing a seeming aveira, but then again he is asking b’deieved here. I’ll try to look more or ask someone about this, thanks for pointing out.
Anybody here has a business requiring unskilled labor? a store or construction? Did you ever try offering a person a job for several hours with higher than usual pay as tzedokah? Where he might learn a skill and get a reference for the future? This would seem a better way than just doling up money by Rambam.
This discussion sounds like a pure avoda zora. How is a circle on your hand with 2 sticks, or numbers on your computer, materially affect your life?! Run your life according to the Jewish sun hours and do not pay attention to goyishe times. I’ll try tomorrow telling my wife that I’ll be home at mincha gedola and I hope to be able to report the results of this experiment.
smerel, I am not asking for a smerel v Fauci fight. I am sure both would make good points and it would be a geshmak to watch.
I am talking about a whole universe of science as presented by hundreds of papers written by probably thousands of people. You seem to dismiss them all, without presenting a specific argument. It means that you feel you have some basis to do that. I can only think that this is based on internal feeling that we, Yidden, know and understand something important that others don’t. I just hope we are not mis-using our heritage in vain.
As to politicians, I suggest look back at Madison’s writings that the goal of American system is not to ensure that everyone is truthful, but to make sure that opposing opinions get played out in public sphere. This seems to worked out well beyond his expectations :). Hope we don’t get confused by that and make our opinions based on acceptance or rejection of views by some politicians. We can do better than that.
Syag > those who study science and got a few hours of yeshiva education no doubt are proficient in both
Syag, I am not claiming particular expertise in either science or Torah, I am just asking questions.
smerel, I would like to understand the source of your looking down at all the official information. I am not saying that it is all defensible, but how do we judge? I am afraid, this comes from our historical awareness that we have a long and wise tradition and outlived a lot of non-Jewish societies. Still, the fact that Rambam was smart in his generation, does not automatically makes us smarter than people around us – especially given yeridas hadoros in Torah on one hand, and continuing improvements in science and technology on the other. So, especially when we deal with chochma, rather than Torah, I would maybe trust someone who knows both Torah and science and history, but just because you got yeshiva education and know how to browse internet does not necessarily mean that you understand facts better. I guess my question is what are your proofs that you are smarter than them?
What is the explanation of Modechai telling Esther to go to the king? He claims that Hashem will help anyway, but she will be not the source of it. If Mordechai is so assured, why does he bother convincing her? Just so that they’ll be written in a sefer? I doubt it.
RebE, it seems that there is more license to argue in Torah learning. But your approach is good: focus on the other side of the argument. One of the references above say that even when you want to support your father, it is better to say that you disagree with the other side.
I saw an interesting difference in hilchos pesach: one doesn’t recline at his teacher’s table, but does at his father’s, as you can presume that the father will permit. I understand this that for the teacher getting respect is a high value, for the father the growth of the son is of higher value
> how you can frequently assume the worst about people and then lecture them about bein adam l’chaveiro?
I apologize if I offended you or someone else. We are here what we write, without having background of each other, and we write casually. Misunderstandings could happen and should just be corrected in the response.
> I always kept a pair of clip-on peyos
Is this allowed? If you were to marry the girl, you would probably need to continue with the clip-ons up to 120.
maybe start with SA YD 240:
nor refute his words nor contradict his words in his presence, even to say ‘Father’s words appear to be,’ nor call him by his name, neither in life nor in death, but rather say ‘Father, my teacher.’RamaH – not even support Father’s position [possibly, without proof, or better to argue with someone who argues with the Father]
Beer Hatev
סותר. בין שחולק עליו בין שאומר להחולק עליו נראין דבריך הוי סותר את דבריו ונראה דסותר את דבריו אסור אפי’ שלא בפניו עכ”ל הש”ך:Be’er Sheva (Sanhedrin 110a) it is permissible to disagree with a parent, but it must be done in a respectful manner. Not contradicting a parent means, one should not say, “Father, you are wrong.” Rather, one must always speak to a parent in a respectful manner.
Prisha (YD 240:3) it is only forbidden to contradict a parent if one does not have proof. You should not argue with your father just because you feel that he is wrong. But if there is definite proof that a mistake was made in religious matters, then one is obligated to point this out
Chayei Adam (67:8)
Aruch HaShulchan (Yoreh Dei’ah 240:13)P’sakim U’T’shuvos (240:7) cites the ruling of the Chazon Ish and the Sheivet HaLevi that a child can argue with a parent as long as the child raises his objection as a “suggestion” or “possible thought” and not as an outright objection or disagreement. Likewise, the Aruch HaShulchan (ibid) writes that if a parent asks a child for his opinion, the child may disagree with the parent, even to the parent’s face and even a complete disagreement.
Oi, I need 4 more?!
> there are also times that true respect calls for a shorter and more direct statement
this is fine theory. In practice, most cases call for more respect. But as usual, somehow the first instinct in bein adam l’havero is to find an excuse why not. Not healthy. If you train yourself to always talk properly, then you will struggle to shout about fire at your parent. This is akin to Igeret Ramban: train yourself to speak quietly at normal moments, and then you come control yourself in a moment of anger.
Avram > What is considered respectful and what is not is highly subjective and depends on the parent and child in question.
A good point. Still, when bringing an abstract kid, he should follow basic halochos. I don’t want to throw quotations at you, I suggest you yourself look up halochos of talking to a parent and tell us how this matches. As a personal anecdote, once when my Father O’H brought up (yet another) “peshat” of a pasuk, I prepared to argue against (and it was fine, as you are saying), but then saw a supporting Rishon and told my father “approvingly” – XX says so also! And got an unexpected retort instead of praise: why are you bringing XX when your Father tells you? [and this is, of course, the halakha – you don’t praise the words of your parent not to create impression that you are worthy evaluating them]
Forsh, I was flippant a little, what I meant is one starts with analyzing halachic concepts and see if they are applicable before going further. Halachik reasons for dealy is informing relatives, publicizing the event. One is praiseworthy speeding up a burial, unless it is for a parent when it is not proper. considering that T’Ch is a teacher for all and in this case, clearly participation of those who want to come requires preparation, there is reglaim l’davar – and this is what I would start discussing if I were bothered with the issue like you are.
An interesting note: Moses Mendelshon corresponded with R Yaakov Emden regarding possibly abolishing speedy burials. A local Duke ordered everyone to keep bodies for several days after there were cases of live people taken to graves. Kahal asked MM to intervene and he helped to stop the decree, but later discussed with YE. YE’s position seemingly was that Chevra Kadisha pays attention and would not bury live people, like goyim might.
> Sure a person needs to do their hishtadlus for everything
This is not a “sure but” – how can one ask Hashem to help you if he is not trying himself? Does not Hashem follow the pasuk that “you help to load the animal _with_ him”? In general, I believe, one can not daven for things he did not try getting himself. For example, if one sits at home hungry and does not bother to go to the store (or even to the fridge) and asks Hashem to help, and then dies from hunger – can we say that Hashem abandoned him or do we say that Hashem provided him with a full fridge?
Furthermore, it may be that people, who for whatever reasons do not have a lot of experience with working, think that hishtadlus is a binary effort, like buying a lottery ticket – rather than a conscious effort requiring time and thought and concern about halochos. Same as learning is not achieved by deciding to spend five minutes once sitting with a sefer.
I suggest that after passing a bill to fund Ukrainian air defense, Congress debate DST until the elections and not pass any more bills giving taxpayers’ money to their supporters. At the end, they should make it so confusing that low-informational voters come one hour late to vote in November, reducing D- vote by 10%. Oops, forgot the mail-in vote, but still ….
Melech Dovid was given a choice of pandemic and war and sensibly chose the former. Seems that we did not learn the lessons somehow as after two years we are now confronted by a madman.
Note that we often mistakenly think of punishments, miracles, .. happening in a split moment “hetzi halaila”. Note that 10 makkos took many many months.
Avira, do Briskers not teach that hakol b’yedei shamayim except hot and cold?! And when you learn tuma & tahora, you never thought how this is applicable? Please teach your students a simple rule: do not touch mouth, nose, eyes without washing your hands. My Father O’H taught me that, so I thought all learnt Jewish parents do.
Generally, persistent infections are not good for the guf. For example, research shows that untreated dental infections lead to heart problems. Not just statistically speaking, the mechanism I think is already understood. Someone at Touro College is involved in this research.
In additional to this wonderful remez, there is a simple peshat here too: someone who was able to get up daily, keep tahora, clean the aron, would be also able to keep a 9-5 job, no just as a cleaner but in another professions. And having a kohen godol as a reference on the resume does not hurt also!
too many people learning Zohar instead of kitzur shuchan oruch. Oilam hafuch.
Lostspark, it was not a remark, just a question. After I spilled fleishege bvorsch onto my tzitses, I am drinking only black coffee to avoid not being able to get hanaah from the basar vechalav tzitis. I guess I could use 4 tzitsis : for halav isroel & sam, and basar kosher and taref.
A way to check for coincidences is to make a prediction before an event and then see what happens. This is both basic statistics and Torah’s test for a navi.
Absent that, use a machine learning approach. Divide your set of possible coincidences into two sets. Use one set to deliver the pattern you think might work. Do not look at set 2 while doing that. Then, apply to set two once and see if it works.
Avram,
speaking respectfully with your parent is as basic halakha as keeping shabbos. I am sure if I write “Last shabbos, when parking near my home” … I will be a best censored or, if not, condemned. Same should be true about how one addresses a parent. Especially, when a teacher says that.Your kid should have just switched it off first, of course.
> to soak it in whole milk
does it have to be cholov isroel or is it ok to put goyishe milk on tzitzis?
RebE > Is Biden responsible for his son’s actions?
he knew of Hunter’s activities exploiting his father’s position and chose at minimum to ignore them. There was at least one person who is documented to raise the issue and was told that Biden was grieving at the moment. What about all other people and all other moments?
independent from Biden himself, collusion of media and tech to suppress this info before election qualifies as illegal election interference. I don’t see how you would disagree.
At least half of Ukraine is not sowing right now and Russians should have some problems getting things done. Worldwide shmitah.
So, there will be less wheat – and sunflower seeds and oil, if you are into that. But this is next year harvest, of course. So, keep some of the matzos for the next year …
I presume things like fertilizer would be easier to substitute. Also, there will be less mystery buyers if you plan to sell a NYC apartment or a yacht.
coffee > And after he died his family checked the tefillin again and found a different passul
this for sure happened! As kids “learn” to be “better” than their parents, then most of parents’ mitzvos will be found to be pasul, as it is said above:
> his son tells him “ta, did you ever get that beketishe checked for shaatnez?
so, the chosid cared about bekesha, but neglected teaching his kid derech eretz (or sent him to teachers who think this is how you correct parents!)
A chachan, or even a tam, son should have said – Ta, how do you check bekeshas? Or, I learned today that bekeshas need to be checked.
> I don’t fully understand why it is such a big deal to have one’s schedule disrupted by an hour,
Circadian rhythm is a big deal. When you have millions of people disrupted on the same day, things will go wrong. Increase in accidents and deaths from accidents seem to be in 5-15% range for 2 weeks, this seems on order of 100 people. Judging by how society approaches much higher covid deaths, nobody will be in a hurry to change the law for “just a hundred people” despite Gemora Sanhedrin saying that one who save one life saves the whole world …
and, of course, in Iran drinking age is N/A, but in Lita it is 16! 18 seems to be the most popular choice all over the world (except where it is prohibited or no age limit).
In US, according to Wiki, it is still 18 in Puerto Rico and Virgin Islands. Given that Vashti was married, she got to be a Puerto Rican! Also, in Ohio you can drink with parents and in NJ underage drinking only gets a warning. Not sure whether the latter needs to be revealed or not.
I think you_all are answering the wrong question! You seem to be comparing Purim to YK, as if Purim is caleed v yom kikipurim! We don’t need to clarify what Purim is, we need to clarify what YK is and how it is as holy as Purim! L’Chaim.
I stand corrected by Gra! 18 not 21. Was this drinking age in Iran or Lithuania?
Mishna Berura suggests that the father reads Megilah at home to his young daughters instead if going to woman’s section where people are talking and you can’t hear anything. If the same is happening in the whole shul, then, would this logic apply? The difference is that men should listen a a community, so is it better to read at home and hear everything or be part of the community and miss a lot? Mayb e do both.
Note that smarter Easterners are only in disconnected areas. When you have same town, the eater part is the dirtier one, getting the ruach with pollution and covid from the west. So, if you hold that greater new york is just one big village, then Easterners are on the receiving side. Maybe they also get shirayim of Divrei Torah first said in Monsey.
She must have been at least 21, as Ahashverosh incited her to the drinking party, as it says that drinking was “according to the law”
Unless you want to say that she was under 21 and that is why Vashti refused to come.But you would not think that the king, who did everything legally, would violate the law?! The tirutz is that she was one day before 21 and they had a healthy machloket whether to count previous night as the day, Vashti following a goyishe minhag of starting day from midnight hatzos. So she lost her head exactly at hatsos, otherwise after that she would have been able to come to the party.
So, we know her age exactly – one hair before 21.
Gadol, the difference is, no pun intended, “minute”, but you are right most centers of Jewish population is on the east side of the zones: whole NE, Chicago, Denver, LA, Vegas (but so does Alabama) v. westerly Detroit and Atlanta. The actual researcu was done on pairs of towns on the borders of states where time zone is changing. There are other possible factors though:
– most world cities have poorer East due to prevailing westerly wind, so eastern of two nearby towns will be more polluted.
– in America, people moved west in search of opportunities, and the western of the two towns (or states) may consist of those who were more active.