Forum Replies Created
-
AuthorPosts
-
apushatayidParticipant
Why are we questioning the motivations of those who make a simchat bat?
December 12, 2011 1:01 am at 1:01 am in reply to: If you've read "NASI Project Responds", have you changed your mind? #848005apushatayidParticipantPBA. You dont know if it is the norm, do you? The situation faced by MANY girls is that they are waiting on a shadchan who is waiting on a boy. They may be waiting on any shadchanim who are waiting on many boys. As long as the boy is allowed to continue to take his sweet time and say yes to a girl, girls and their parent are sitting on pins and needles and growing ever more nervous that they dont hear from a shadchan yes, a boy wants to go out with you, unless there is a new plan in the works to set up shidduchim that I a not aware of. Held hostage is quite appropriate. This initiative will hopefully get shadchanim, in the hope of a big payday, to stay on top of boys, exert a little pressure and pull a yes more quickly out of them. Until then, the current system does keep girls hostage in a sense.
apushatayidParticipant“Not creating religion inspired rituals.”
Zebed Habat (aka simchat bat) has been a part of the Sefardi mesora for quite some time. Get a copy of a siddur nusach “edut hamizrach”.
December 11, 2011 3:46 pm at 3:46 pm in reply to: If you've read "NASI Project Responds", have you changed your mind? #847999apushatayidParticipantActually, the definition of hyperbole according to Webster, is “extravagant exaggeration”. The example given in my edition is “a mile high ice cream cone”.
Would you prefer the word paralyzed ?
December 11, 2011 3:41 pm at 3:41 pm in reply to: If you've read "NASI Project Responds", have you changed your mind? #847998apushatayidParticipantAZ. Notice the context of where I raised this situation. I did not accuse you and your NASI project of lying, misleading or misrepresenting. Yes he signed. No he did not read everything. The way it was explained to him, by those he trusts, was not the way it came out. He heard what the thrust was, said OK hand me my pen. No, he did not ask to have his name reoved because he was willing to overlook it for the overall greater good he feels the initiative would (and perhaps is) have. You are taking this as a personal attack against you and your organization. Dont. If you did. I am sorry.
December 11, 2011 6:11 am at 6:11 am in reply to: If you've read "NASI Project Responds", have you changed your mind? #847994apushatayidParticipantIts called hyperbole. Something this topic cant see to get enough of.
December 11, 2011 4:17 am at 4:17 am in reply to: Story of Rabbi Yonatan Eibeshutz – Computer Enhanced #834263apushatayidParticipantIve seen the am yisrael chai “puzzle” printed in some of his seforim. I believe Tiferes Yonasan was the name of the sefer I saw it in.
apushatayidParticipantAt least he didnt kill himself or anyone else. Then we would be reading a story about another horrible accident involving a yeshiva bachur and the subsequent “oy ladies wake up, dress tsniusdik”. Now it can be addressed for what it is, alcohol abuse by a yeshiva bachur who compounded his stupidity by getting behind the wheel of a car.
December 11, 2011 4:09 am at 4:09 am in reply to: If you've read "NASI Project Responds", have you changed your mind? #847992apushatayidParticipant“because until the boy says yes, she is free to go out with someone else.”
Sure she is. Some other boy who is holding her, and a bunch of other girls, hostage on their list.
But yes, I do agree with the statement you made “that NASI’s two initiatives dealt with the issue from a shadchan’s perspective”, I only hope it is wildly successful.
December 11, 2011 4:07 am at 4:07 am in reply to: If you've read "NASI Project Responds", have you changed your mind? #847991apushatayidParticipantHe didnt sign any letter. He was asked if he would endorse close in age shidduchim. he said says. His signature appears in an ad that promotes close in age shidduchim plus claims which he did not and does not endorse. I dont owe you or NASI (which is one and the same) any apologies, however, if it makes you feel better, I apologize.
December 9, 2011 4:36 pm at 4:36 pm in reply to: If you've read "NASI Project Responds", have you changed your mind? #847988apushatayidParticipantThis is not intended to agree or disagree with any NASI initiative. It adresses specifically the notion that people are rightfully suspicious and cynical whenever anything is attributed to gedolim. I cant speak for other people and their motivations, but I will tell you my reason.
If the Gedolim truly believe what is attributed to them, why dont they come out and say it? I am a close talmid of one of the signatories on the original NASI initiative, he told me straight out that what he was told and what the add says are not the same thing. He was asked if he would sign that it is a good idea to promote close in age shidduchim. He responded yes. The resulting ads then ran with a whole discussion on age gaps and claims about girls never marrying… oh and by the way we think people should promote close in age shidduchim (more like getting a signature and then adding text). I am also personally aware of someone who sent a letter to Rav Chaim Kanievsky Shlita asking him if what was reported in his name (the specific issue is irrelevent here) as well as his fathers name was true. I saw the reply, it contained two words “Lo Hadam”. People do have every right to be cynical about things reported in the name of a gadol or gedolim, nobody knows what the question was or what the answer was, all we know is that someone claims this is what he said and this is what he meant. In the case of the NASI ad, not only has this Rosh Yeshiva not encouraged his own bachurim to do close in age shidduchim (he wont discourage it), one of his own daughters got engaged and married after the appearance of this ad to a boy more than 3 years older than her (she was almsot 20). In short, things that are verifiable often dont hold up to scrutiny, so am cynical and often simply do not believe what was said in the name of any gedolim.
December 9, 2011 3:58 am at 3:58 am in reply to: Why does chicken say OU glatt on it when glatt doesn't apply to it? #834037apushatayidParticipantGlatt doesnt mean what it really means. To the average consumer it means higher level of kashrus standards
apushatayidParticipantSome idiot in Chicago tried to mug a professional MMA (mised martial arts)fighter. He ended up arrested along with two black eyes and a gunshot wound to the ankle (he had a gun that accidently discharged during the fight and hit him in the ankle). Score one for the good guys. (courtesy of the huffington post).
apushatayidParticipantGo to a comparison shopping site (yahoo shopping is one of many) put in the model you want, have fun.
December 8, 2011 5:56 pm at 5:56 pm in reply to: If you've read "NASI Project Responds", have you changed your mind? #847980apushatayidParticipantOf course they say yes, eventually, after sifting through 47 names, across 27 weeks. They finally say yes, to one girl. Meanwhile, numerous girls sat and waited on this holy list, shadchanim their hands tied behind their backs. Now, they have a yes (insert a Marv Albert YES here) from his mother, and the other girls are released from their hostage situation, only to be placed, on several more lists, while the agonizing process begins again. But the shadchanim, they will hang in there, they have a guaranteed payday for all their hard work courtesy of the new game changing plan.
December 8, 2011 4:12 pm at 4:12 pm in reply to: If you've read "NASI Project Responds", have you changed your mind? #847978apushatayidParticipantRC, you are correct. DY, RC has nailed it with his scenario. More than anything, it is the biggest hinderance to shidduchim.
I believe the NASI initiative will help, somewhat, in that most shadchanim will keep their eye on the prize, the guaranteed money, and stay after someone long enough to get them to say yes.
I truly believe this is an initiative to reward shadchanim, who stick with it long enough, despite the nonesense and drivel they have to put up with on a daily basis and will incentivize them to stick it out, their payday is guaranteed. Perhaps if NASI would be a bit more forthright in their advertisements, something such as…
Shadchanim, do you feel that you are stretched to the limit by people who waste your time with nonesense and stupidity? Does 3 weeks of phone calls, meeting go down the drain every time the boys mother gets involved and is concerned about some 4th cousin of the girls great grandmother whose yichus doesnt pas for her family? Well, dont worry, we have a new game changing plan guarantees you a large payday upon the successful completion of a shidduch. The fee structure is outlined below. The older the girl, the more outrageous and crazy the mother of the boy, so we have guaranteed you a larger payday. Who is guaranteeing you this payday, why of course, these very girls who are desperate to hear from you that there is a boy who wants to meet her.
December 7, 2011 10:42 pm at 10:42 pm in reply to: Lights on Shabbos and Thanking Someone for Doing an Aveirah on Your Behalf #840951apushatayidParticipantThank them for thinking of you.
apushatayidParticipanti’m waiting for them to morph into the amazon women.
December 7, 2011 10:29 pm at 10:29 pm in reply to: If you've read "NASI Project Responds", have you changed your mind? #847963apushatayidParticipant“even you must admit that can’t be accurate. surely boys have dates and are getting married to girls.”
Which also means girls are getting dates. I think what she really means is that boys have the upper hand, a list of 47 girls to choose from at any given time, while these 47 girls languish on any number of boys lists waiting for them to say “yes”. Perhaps flip the tables and redt shidduchim to girls first and if still no yes from a guy, despite a yes from the girl, there is more going on than just “not enough bodies to go around”.
apushatayidParticipant“I would add the caveat that the Rav be qualified for his position.”
Which is where I think this entire thread went off an a tangent. The OP mentioned a certain Rabbi and the resulting posts of feminism and the like dominated the discussion. The Zeved Habat done by Sefardim predates this Rabbi as well as moses mendelsohn the father of reform jewery.
apushatayidParticipantDH. Yes, I purposely blurred the lines. That was my point. Not every action has a mesorah attached to it. What it should have, as alluded to in my last sentence is that it be done according to halacha. For me, it means following my Rav and his psak, for you it means following your Rav and his psak and for the makers of the Simchat Bat mentioned by the OP, it means following the psak of her Rav.
apushatayidParticipantI know someone who has been with the NYPD since the early 80’s.
apushatayidParticipant“BINGO! But why is this here instead of the colored shirts thread?”
I give up. Why?
apushatayidParticipant“If you were hosting the president, I’m sure you would feel that the occasion warrants the status of black-tie.”
So, why when hosting hashem do we not dress the same way? How does a shirt that may or may not be tucked in, a hat precariously perched on the back of the head and a sport jacket that is wrinkled meet this criterion? You wouldnt greet the president dressed that way.
apushatayidParticipant“Ashkenaz Rabbonim have not instituted any sort of “simchas bat” and therefor it is not part of our mesorah”
Just curious. Did they institute the concept of making a kiddush in shul to celebrate the birth of a daughter? Celebrating an engagement with a “vort”? Chulent thursday nights? Late minyanim for shachris during bein hazmanim? These are all part of the Ashkenazic “mesorah”. I think what is most important is that someone who wants to make a “simchat bat” or whatever it is you want to call such a gathering, that it be done in a way that if they invite their Rav he would have no problems with any of the proceedings.
apushatayidParticipant“how does a pushitayid know about Cat Stevens and Led Zeppelin?????
weird! I only expect it from BT’s like us.”
Expect the unexpected, especially from us simple folk.
Also, Cat Stevens did not write or sing the song I mentioned, Harry Chapin did. Cat Stevens has a similar song which I believe is called Father and Son (I googled it a few minutes ago just to be sure and I believe that is the name of the song I was right about Harry Chapin, seems lots of people make the same mistake).
December 7, 2011 4:34 pm at 4:34 pm in reply to: Lights on Shabbos and Thanking Someone for Doing an Aveirah on Your Behalf #840949apushatayidParticipantI dont think it is possible to have an “aveirah done on your behalf”, we have a concept ain shliach lidvar aveirah.
apushatayidParticipantPerhaps they dressed that way in mizrachi countries because their host rulers forbade them out in the street any other way. Almost 10 years ago 15 Saudi girls were forced back into a burning building by the saudi tznius police because they were not dressed according to sharia law (they were taking a gym class).
apushatayidParticipantYou dont have to be one, to listen to one, or to agree with one.
apushatayidParticipantB”H, all day, every day.
apushatayidParticipantThis is WAAAAY off topic 🙂
“And if we want to talk about ritual that is “wrong” but not assur, what about boys eating cholent, clearly a Shabbos dish, on Thursday night?”
About 28 years ago, as a 9th or 10th grader, I heard R’ Chaim Mintz Shlita, speak at the leil Shabbos Seuda in Yeshiva Staten Island. He was giving mussar to “those bachurim who went into the kitchen and ate cholent late thursday night and erev shabbos”…He listed a number of reasons why it was wrong among them, that chulent is a “special maychel shabbos” and should be saved for shabbos, and eating it before shabbos is a zilzul in the kavod shabbos.
apushatayidParticipantStairway to Heaven – Led Zeppelin
Cat in a cradle and a silver spoon – Harry Chapin
Shvartze Wolf – Shlomo Carlebach
apushatayidParticipantExcellent. You do that. Why doesnt the Badatz follow your line of reasoning and stay out of it too? What do you think?
apushatayidParticipantFormal dress…black tie affair. Time to pull the tux out the mothballs and freshen up the top hat (black of course)?
apushatayidParticipantA Mamin. Everyone draws the line somewhere, where do you draw the line? If they wanted to form an amazon like community where only females were welcome is THAT going to far or should we indulge their yearnings for absolute tznius and separation from men?
December 6, 2011 4:54 pm at 4:54 pm in reply to: Separate Times For Bochurim & Sem Girls In Gateshead #1029607apushatayidParticipant2000, bachurim, 600 seminary girls and 200 families, a few short blocks and 2 small stores for all? That spells a recipe for disaster without proper supervision. It is a solution that works for Gateshead and works very well apparently. Doesnt New Square have something similar in terms of mens and womens shopping hours, and separate sidewalks?
apushatayidParticipantRe: the comparison to the army. Which general dictated (mandated) the yeshiva uniform (not that I know who mandated the army uniform either).
apushatayidParticipantGAW, I’m not sure what you are saying, or if you are even addressing me.
apushatayidParticipantIf a woman wanted to bring a korban toda upon the birth of a child was she allowed to do so? Was a woman allowed to bring a todah as a way of expressing thanks that she survived a dangerous situation (childirth)? Was a husband allowed to bring a korban toda upon the birth of a daughter? I dont know what it is supposed to prove if the answer is yes or no, the questions just popped into my head.
apushatayidParticipantAMI Magazine had an article on these folks in this weeks issue. Specifically, why the Badatz came out strongly against them.
apushatayidParticipantMy sefardi friends make what I think is called a “zeved habat”, (someone help me here with the pronunciation). The last one I attended the grandfather of the baby girl said what I believe were several pizmonim, tefilos and made a bracha. I dont own an “Edut Hamizrach” siddur, but I was told the nusach of this ceremony is in the siddur. Sounds very much like the simchat bat described by the OP with the exception that at the one I attended the grandfather made a (the?) bracha, not the mother of the baby.
apushatayidParticipant“Bais Yaakov of Boro Park has one principal per grade.”
Doesnt BY of BP have 8 parallel grades?
apushatayidParticipantJust say no, this is not suited for me. This should be more than adequate for a rational person.
apushatayidParticipantI never knew members of the reformed movement recited tehilim, ever made a mi shebeirach or said brachos, for any occassion. Live and learn.
apushatayidParticipantNot sure why, but the first thing that came to mind when reading “a cloth-covered tube on their heads” was; My name is Beldar I come from France.
apushatayidParticipantUpdate your browser. I use Opera Mini on My Curve. No issues at all.
December 1, 2011 6:08 pm at 6:08 pm in reply to: Articel on NY Post Web-site on religious Jews child abuse #832482apushatayidParticipantRav Noach Isaac Oelbaum of Kew Gardens Hills, NY.
apushatayidParticipantI think the OP means the 8th perek, but whose really paying attention.
apushatayidParticipantI’m sure someone can google it, but studies have shown that hiring managers favor resumes with college degrees than those that dont.
apushatayidParticipantSome not so random thoughts reading different comments:
What might be considered provocative in one culture is considered a normal every day activity in another.
Some seem (of course, I might be completely misunderstanding them) to be making the leap that forgetting the “shivisi hashem” principle is somehow equated with a lack of tznius.
Most exercise routines involve the movement of certain body parts one should refrain from doing publicly. In fact, bending down to touch your toes or doing jumping jacks (which my daughter does in her typical BY school with the “exercise morah” 2x a week) involves such movements as does ballet. Why the particular brouhaha over Zumba?
-
AuthorPosts