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That was very nice of them. I hope your other issue also turns out well.
I’m not impressed by any moshol that doesn’t have a king, and preferably a naughty prince, in it.
VM, spot on.
VM,
The shushing is a message to the mother to remove the kid ASAP.
IIRC, it’s a b’feirush’e Mishnah Berurah not to bring little kids to shul.
Toi, are we really supposed to believe that you’re not stalking?
Oh brother, we’re talking about spiritual side effects.
I copied and pasted from the website.
Either way, I’m sure they hocked this out with competent halachik authorities.
I completely agree with that. I’ve pointed out some of the options.
Here’s a link, which will serve its purpose even if you delete it.
Dear Popa Bar Abby,
Yeah, I’ll take your advice. It’s too late for choice #1 anyhow. 😉
Even if zahavasdad’s estimates are off, there’s no denying that it’s more expensive than a van –
I’m not affirming it or denying it, but if you want to complain you’d have to give solid figures.
Why do you downplay the safety issue?
I wouldn’t either downplay the fact that it’s more geshmak for the boys. This is not only about raising very necessary funds, it’s also about finding healthy activities for young teenagers who need a kosher outlet. Would you prefer they smoke and drink? Or are you so idealistic to think that 15-17 year old boys should have a sefer open 24/7 and don’t need some fun?
?
Did you catch the embedded links?
Don’t get me started with the bus that stops for Shemna Esrai! They don’t have a problem davvening on a bus, but for Shemoni Esrai the need to stop?! What about making people late for work??!
Was the stop for Sh’E planned, or impulsive? If it was planned, it’s pretty silly to complain about it. If it wasn’t planned, then you have a right to complain.
Winner has the option of taking payment over 10 years or one lump sum totaling to 50% of the win amount. Million Dollar Raffle Drawing Date: May 11th 2013.
Sounds like squeak’s metzius, not Joseph and mod 42’s. It’s not a choice of two separate prizes; the winner chooses how to collect the prize.
I still think it’s probably muttar.
ZD,
The costs, I believe, are much lower than your estimates.
Lesschumras, this debate has been going on for at least twenty years.
Golfer, correct. VM is using, I think, a different definition of love than we are.
See, you didn’t talk about the side effects of the medication. You also called the medication clinically proven. You also failed to mention that he was heeding the advice of bigger doctors. And the nimshal is not half blind, or in a wheelchair, b”H. So you’re right, it’s not a great moshol.
If I sell something and give the buyer a choice of a smaller immediate payment or larger total payments over a longer period of time, it is a ribbis issue, despite the fact that it’s his choice. there is a chov, and the extra money, based on the extra time, is schar hamtonas maos. My question is, has a chov been created here with a raffle.
There are ways around ribbis, aside from heter iska, such as involving karka in the transaction. It’s also not clear that there’s ribbis with an institution, although it’s certainly better not to rely on that.
I wouldn’t jump to conclusions that there is ribbis (they’ve probably dealt with it), but I think it’s an interesting shailah.
VM, I think the cause/effect is more direct than that.
So maybe the question really is, why would a 19 year old girl prefer a 22 year old boy to a 25 year old boy.
Who’s borrowing money from whom? In other words, does winning a prize create a chov which is subject to ribbis?
As a dati Leumi Israeli taxpayer, I would like to ask..why should my government give kollel families anything? My nephews and grandsons, learn, serve and work…
Let’s start here…
http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/who-is-really-on-welfare-basic-hashkapha
VM, nice shtickel. What does that have to do with love?
Popa,
Ok, so why not a part time learner? You may have hit upon something with the seminary influence. Maybe rather than convincing them that learning is “the most important provision that needs to be provided for the family”, they convinced them that they need to marry a guy who will learn full time. That would be a much simpler and more direct answer to your shailah.
To respond to your point to HaKatan, there are other deal breakers as well, who says this one is more important than those?
Dear popa bar abby,
Someone insulted me in the CR. What should I do?
1) Ignore it
2) Request an apology
3) Demand an apology
4) Post this question to you as an indirect way of bringing it up
Thanks,
Hypocritical Fanatic
Health, why another argument? Someone rightfully pointed out that you unnecessarily insulted someone. Accept it, and try to improve yourself in this area, instead of fighting back.
Dash and Squeak,
What is the ribbis issue? I didn’t see the booklet. There’s a loan involved?
I noticed it got deleted. I didn’t notice it getting undeleted. Apparently, now it’s unundeleted.
When I saw the title on that one, I thought for sure you had posted it.
Because you’ve given over part of yourself to that person, you love that person, who is part you. It’s really an acceptable form of self-love.
Toi, I don’t know the history of it, but it’s possible that the term was first used by porkei ol.
Aidel,
Make sure you know with whom he’s going, and have a talk with him about being responsible with alcohol (which means nothing at night when there’s no mitzvah anyway and they’re out in the streets), and if he’s with other good kids, let him go.
But Make sure there is no Booze, If that means arranging it yourself and having the limo company keep the booze away
The RY arranged that there’s no booze in the limo (bar locked or emptied).
It would be tacky on any other day but Purim, when people expect “shtick”.
the single should pick new parents, then look for a partner in life.
I didn’t know you could pick your own parents. You learn something new every day.
The OP’s question was what to do about someone who lets her parents control the situation. The question begs explanation; who is doing the asking, and in what way is it possible to influence the young woman or the parents. Without more info, it seems futile to try to advise.
Popa, yes, that was my point to HaKatan.
As far as your “right” reason, why is his “taking home the bacon” as an exclusively spiritual (or intangible, if you will) contribution more conducive to the proper husband/wife relationship than if he were bringing home a paycheck?
Also, my maskana (so far) is actually that if guy is not currently learning full time and/or does not plan to do so for a few years after marriage, he is not looked at in the same vein as someone who is/will.
I’ve heard the theory that if a guy is working and learning, he’s a better bet than a guy who is currently just learning, but plans on working soon after marriage. The sevara is that the first guy is actually keeping sedorim even though he has tirdas haparnassah, and the second type hasn’t proved it; maybe when he leaves yeshiva he’ll hardly crack a sefer.
The problem with this in practice is, as I think we agree, that most serious learners stay in yeshiva full time while they’re bochurim.
The story might be true. He might have convinced himself that it was bitachon when it was really something else.
The story is told that the Vilna Gaon heard that a relative went to a doctor, and was unhappy about it. He was asked, “does the peruke not say v’rapo yerapei”? He answered, “yes, but I’m disappointed that someone from our family is on that lower level of bitachon “.
Needless to say, it’s been several generations since anyone was on that level. In concept, though, v’rapo yerapei is permission, not an obligation.
Rt,
According to whose definition of loshon hora? You’re telling me that it’s best not to err. That means you don’t know, you’re speculating. I’m telling you that I know it’s not.
It’s easier to establish the centrality of learning when it is exclusive.
I am not aware of any opinion which disputes “al tarbeh sichah.”
ZD,
I once tried it as well, and every adult answered “good Shabbos” as well as most kids (the ones who didn’t just seemed shy, not impolite). I concluded that the stereotype is probably wrong.
Why does everyone think it’s so black and white? There are differences between people, and some marriages have different dynamics than others, even successful ones.
WIY,
Actually, most do. You just don’t hear about them.
ZD,
The limo is probably not much more than a taxi, is safer, and the boys enjoy it more.
Walking is not an option, the houses they are going to are too far apart. Time is also limited, because most homes are not approachable after ten o’clock or so. This is actually one of the most efficient ways of raising funds, because the boys take nothing, the only expense is the car (some rent costumes, but I don’t think this group is).
Since when is Queens part of New York? (I’d put a smiley, but I don’t want to get in any more trouble.)
I just found out that a relative is going collecting with his friends. The rosh hayeshiva is organizing the limo. He gave them a strong warning against drinking, and the Yeshiva is having a mesiba afterwards.
I’m completely in favor.
Your ex’s wedding.
ZD,
I don’t know.
In that thread, Aries made the same point as Think first, that limos are safer.
Collecting Tzedakah from a Limo?
I think there was a thread about this somewhere, and one person claimed that it actually comes out cheaper than a van.
…found it.
…I stand corrected, that poster said it cost the same.
http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/collecting-on-purim-in-a-limousine#post-50218
(That was a self-serving textual argument.)
it’s as if modern people aren’t Jewish to many.
You see that where it isn’t.
loshon hara may be worse than anything Mayor Koch ever did in his life.
If you’ll go through hilchos loshon hora, you’ll find that there’s no issur here.