Dr. Pepper

Abe Cohen-

Thanks for answering.

DaasYochid-

If he wants to maintain his anonymity on this website that’s fine with me. My issue is the style of his posts which are meant to imply that they are not the same person. That, in my opinion, is dishonest.

coffee addict-

I’m sorry you feel that way about NY, did you come here to visit for a few days before before spending so much money to move here?

Without knowing anything about you I don’t know how much I can help you.

Here’s an idea regarding the recycling issue you seem to be having. A friend of mine offered me a ride but said I have to sit in the front (and hold his seforim/ books) because the back of his car was piled high with trash- and that was an understatement!

He explained that he has a date in Baltimore the next week and ever since he agreed to go out with her his father insisted on throwing all the trash into the back of his car instead of sorting it. He told him to throw the garbage into the cans by the girls house before knocking on the door.

Do a Google search for “learn yiddish vidlit”.

There is a beginner video there.

Sorry but I don’t think we’re allowed to post external links. 🙁

AZ-

As in the past- the more answers I get the more questions I have.

The website was fully active (including all links) as of last week, I find it very suspicious that once I mentioned it it disappeared.

Can you please explain why whatever was written on the 1,000 letters sent out is too private to post on the website for the benefit of everyone who didn’t receive the mailing?

The time and costs for maintaining a website that small is minimal compared to the costs of a mass mailing (and is dwarfed next to the $100,000+ that was given out)- can you explain how they had the time and money for the mailing, which only reached a small subset of the frum population, while they didn’t have the time to keep the website current (which could reach the entire frum population with Internet access)?

From what I saw I definitely can insinuate that someone is hiding behind a cloak on anonymity. I read frum magazines and frequent frum websites and I have never seen the name of a single human being associated with the organization (aside from the same name that came up four times when I did some investigation). How am I supposed to know what you send to mothers of boys in Lakewood when I never was one or will be one? Beside, the e-mail address “[email protected]” does nothing to identify a human.

To answer your question- I don’t know what my R”Y thinks about NASI or anything they stand for. I asked if he signed it and was told that he didn’t (he wasn’t there at the time but a talmid told me he was present when the NASI representative stopped by and the R”Y refused to sign).

shlishi-

I agree, but there were times that I was told that if I agree to go out with a girl- since she is flying out to meet me I have to commit to two dates. Saying “no” after just one would have been dishonest and highly offensive.

Also going out for a fourth time when one is not interested when compared to two weeks of non-stop harassment may be the lesser of two evils.

Imagine how much more prevalent these torture tactics will become once the shadchanim know that they will be receiving compensation.

cherrybim-

I agree 100%.

No one is forcing them to take the job.

You can also look it at another way-

How much would you pay to have full time supervision of your teenage child? Being in a structured environment with three tefilos a day (for your son), learning, three nutritious meals, while surrounded by their peers and given responsibilities that help them mature into adults.

Now to think that not only do you not have to pay for this but they also earn some spending money- I think it’s a great deal.

I once almost got busted, my quick wit saved me.

Someone told me that on a website called “theyeshivaworld” there is someone impersonating me. The poster uses my name and posts riddles that I like asking. She suggested that I check it out.

I told her that I don’t have time for such things and she should tell the person to “get a life”.

binahyeseira-

100% correct, I was just speaking from my point of view.

Studies have shown that the best time to inform employees is Friday afternoon.

am yisrael chai-

I’m sorry if anything I wrote hurt you. Let me try to explain things one at a time.

Firstly- I didn’t answer your question in the Shabbos Lock thread because I thought the mods wouldn’t let it through. I had asked what I thought was an innocent question and didn’t receive a response. If I was interested in hiding the post I would not have posted what number it is.

Secondly- I read very few threads on this forum and didn’t know about your tragedies until I read it here. One post of yours that I did read reminded me of a poster I came across on a different site. Being that this poster has a different SN than yours I left a hint that would let you know what I was talking about without mentioning the SN. (It was not the bragging that reminded me of the other poster.) I was only trying to find out if it was you so I can send you a private message on the other site with a link to the discussion you wanted to view.

Thirdly- I only asked the question here because I assumed that you missed it on the other thread as I didn’t see any posts from you afterwards.

If you were offended by anything I wrote please accept my sincerest apologies and believe me that I never intended to hurt you.

Please also accept my deepest sympathy for the tragedies you experienced.

am yisrael chai-

I’ll answer that if you first answer my question from the Shabbos Lock thread;

Did we meet each other on a different site?

(The person I’m thinking of brags to have started the thread with the most replies and views.)

Here’s one that really ticked me off (without the shadchan actually giving me a hard time).

One Purim a guy came to her house stone drunk to give her Mishloach Manos. While she was preparing one for him he couldn’t resist the urge to go to her computer and copy her “shadchan” folder onto a floppy drive, which he later posted on the internet.

When he sobered up and realized that what he did was wrong, he removed the files but not before I downloaded them. There were three files in the folder, Bochurim.doc, Girls.doc and Outcome.xls all of which were time stamped recently.

Let’s take a break for a second- I am not blaming the shadchan for what happened so far, the guy admitted he was totally wrong and I hope everyone agrees. I opened up the two Word files and the information I knew about the guys matched as well as the information about the girls that she tried setting me up with (there were some names on the list that I never heard of though). I never opened the Outcome file, as tempting as it was, nor did I ever share these files with anyone.

So someone made an anonymous call to a Rov about this incident, asking if the Rov could call the shadchan to take measures to insure this incident could never happens again.

The shadchan denied the whole incident. She claimed that she has a different computer in a different room that is password protected and she is the only one with the password. She also NEVER lets any of her kids (or anyone else for that matter) use her computer.

Pac-Man-

The next time we went we checked and on the menu it says in small letters that 18% gratuity is added. Since we were expecting it we watched the incompetence of the staff and got a kick out of it.

Please don’t get sidetracked though, the main point of what I was saying was that people will work harder when there is competition and their compensation depends on performance. Not when customers are throwing money in their direction.

IUseBrains-

Just because people are paid more doesn’t mean they do a better job. Look at union employees for starters.

My wife and I went out to eat once. After taking our order we never saw the waitress again. One of us had to go to the kitchen to get the food, keep refilling our glasses with water, clean up, get a waiter to ask for the dessert menu and get our bill. “At least we don’t have to leave a tip”, my wife joked. But they were one step ahead of us, the 18% gratuity was automatically included.

According to your theory the waitress should have done a wonderful job since she was getting 18% right?

(When I asked where she was so I can thank her I was told that she went home 90 minutes earlier.)

Based on a joke from the Readers Digest some years ago.

Telemarketer calls shadchan: Hello, this is a telephone poll…

Shadchan: Do I know the perfect traffic light for you…

IUseBrains-

I’m also.

I’ll repeat this again for the benefit of those who haven’t read it in other threads.

I always tell my wife that even if the only thing she ever did for me was rescue me from those nasty shadchanim I’d still be forever indebted to her.

Not that I have any details in what is going on-

But…

When I would be harassed by nasty shadchanim I’d tell them that everything has to go through my mother. She did great as a firewall.

How about writing a nice poem on a card.

From my experience, presents that take time yet have a minimal cost are more valuable than expensive gifts.

May you and your wife be zoche to have many more happy years together.

(And may the two of you enjoy reading this poem out loud at your 50th anniversary.)

IUseBrains-

Please don’t take offense, but you seem like the kind of shadchan that my friends and I had to blacklist.

When a shadchan gives a girls name to a guy it is up to him (and his parents) what to do from there. My mother told one shadchan to never call her back after she said “you think you’re being farfrumpted, well you’re being farcrumped. You have to tell me why you’re saying ‘no’. I’m a professional shadchan and therefore the issur of Loshon Hora doesn’t apply to me. Stop being a chanyukkel on someone elses cheshbon.”

(My mother worked with this girl and had wonderful things to say about her (including that there was nothing wrong with her) but she knew her well enough to know that she wasn’t for me.)

Who are you to decide what is unjustified? What is important to one person may be a non-issue to someone else and vice versa.

The shadchanim need to learn to be civilized or they are ruining the chances for many girls who otherwise may have no access to guys in yeshiva.

(If the guy and his mother are harrassing you non-stop to find him a shidduch and this is how they are acting then I see where you are coming from.)

He was talking about the president who fired him.

Post your questions here.

Many of us would love to help you.

Heard this from a non-reliable source who claimed it was true but I don’t believe it.

Here is goes.

An ex-Rabbi is speaking by his good bye party after being fired by the president of the shul for being too Frum:

There were three things that complained to Hashem that they were being sidelined;

1. Asher Yotzar,

2. Aleinu and

3. Mamzeirim.

Asher Yotzar complained that it is such an important brocha but people rush through it every morning while half asleep. Hashem decreed that from then on, everyone will say the brocha a few times a day.

Aleinu complained that people rush through saying it while on their way out of shul and no one has the proper concentration. Hashem decreed that from then on Aleinu will play a major role in the Yomim Noraim davening.

Mamzeirim complained that they didn’t do anything wrong yet they are punished for life. They can’t marry anyone but another mamzer and they have to carry the shame with them where ever they go. Therefore Hashem decreed that a mamzer should be the president of this very congregation…

on the ball-

There are a few reasons why we decided to donate anonymously (although it’s not set in stone).

#1. When I was in Kollel I was asked to put in a full page ad for a family member being honored. I explained that I was in Kollel and couldn’t afford a full page ad. The dinner chairman told me to give what I want and he’ll give me a full page ad. (Thinking back, I don’t think it was fair that someone who paid full price should only get the same recognition as someone who paid a small fraction.)

#2. A Rebbe I was close with was being honored and I had lots of Hakaras Hatov for the special attention he gave me as well as the kesher he kept up for 20+ years. I decided to put in a full page “thank you” at $500. I later found out that a younger grade was having a hard time scraping together $25 a piece from the 20 classmates and I felt it was arrogant to have a full page ad next to theirs and I asked the journal committee not to publish it. (They sent the Rebbe a copy of the ad and an explanation as to why I requested that it not be published.)

#3. A shy neighbor (who has helped us with the kids in the past) asked us to put in an ad for her yearbook. The school warned that anyone who didn’t raise a few hundred dollars for the yearbook cost would have a picture of an elephant in the yearbook instead of theirs and she thought it may hurt her shidduch prospects. I was willing to put in an ad but my wife said it will be offensive to her parents if someone else places a larger ad than they were able to afford. My wife gave her the full amount (so that she wouldn’t have to ask others who may insist on placing an ad).

am yisrael chai-

Did we meet each other on a different site?

(The person I’m thinking of brags to have started the thread with the most replies and views.)

Droid-

That I can’t answer.

I can answer what happened to me in a similar case.

This same R”Y told me about working Tisha B’av before chatzos, “you won’t see any mazal in the work done”.

Sure enough, the work I did was all wrong and not only did I have to do it again, but I also had to notify all those who relied on my work that the data is bad.

(That is the only time I recall making the error I made that morning.)