Gadolhadorah

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  • in reply to: Rumor about Ivanka Trump Spurs conversation about Geirus #1293986
    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    Once a geyrus is completed, we don’t “monitor” the compliance of the individual with their commitments to be shromrei torah umitzvos (aka “kabbalos ohel mitzvos”). They are a yid in the same way as any other yid born a yid and their behavior in olam hazeh is only accountable to the Ebeshter in olam haboh.

    in reply to: Shidduch for ex-Modox bochur #1293592
    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    I’ve heard so many definitions of “MO’ that its not clear the term has any objective meaning, any more so than terms such as “Yeshivish” etc. If you look at some of the registration forms used by shidduch services, some have as many as 8-10 categories in which you place yourself, and that’s only for frum shaddchanus.

    in reply to: Black hat ; whats up with that #1293104
    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    Unless you want to be just another “blackhat”, think out of the (borsolino)box…think BIGLEY…go to Lebovitz and get yourself a few of the most elegant black fur streimlach

    in reply to: Minyan in Orlando #1292675
    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    All three seem to be appropriate subject matters for complaints and perhaps the inyan for a new thread…

    in reply to: Marrying a Bas Talmid Chochom #1292622
    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    To Midwesterner:

    Other than her ending up being widowed, divorced, living in poverty not having children, or her own life ending early (did I leave anything out from the daf) I’m not sure there are any issues for the bas talmid chochom ending up marring a bochur who may not be the sharpest knife in the drawer. In all seriousness though, the chassan/kalah need to truly care for and respect for one another aside from reviewing their respective parents’ resumes. Its generally a good predictor but one wouldn’t expect a bas talmid chochom (aka baas Kohen) to be dating the local Am ha’Aretz (ben yisroel) from the outset unless the shadchan was himself/herself the product of such a union.

    in reply to: Marrying a Bas Talmid Chochom #1292520
    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    The “z’chus” is in marrying a baas yisroel who is herself an appropriate kallah for the bochur in all respects and that they together are well suited to raise a family and establish a “bayis ne’eman’ bayisroel. The fact that here father is a talmid chacham or big tzadik is nice but otherwise irrelevant as to the likelihood of the success of the cahassanah. A girl raised in such a family is likely to have the midos and love of torah to create the right conditions but thats no guarantee she is the be’shert for the bochur in question.

    in reply to: Do women avoid seeking necessary medical care out of modesty? #1292116
    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    To DWKL 1

    U’Mein v’ U”Mein……there have a been a lot of words expended to make the bottom line point you make so simply and elegant. When it comes to anything other than routine matters, gender and tzinius concerns are totally irrelevant for even the most frum yid when it comes to matters of medical care. Go for the best available physician without regard to gender, level of torah observance, or even whether or not the physician is a yid. Get the best available care as quickly as you can wherever you can. Period. Full stop.

    in reply to: Reliable Hashgacha? #1292115
    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    To Avramalah in Baltimore (or Reisterstown, Owings Mills , Silver Spring, Kemp Mill or wherever )

    Would you give a dollar to tzadakah for every pot, pan etc. that has ever had to be toiveled in mikvah because of some crooked mashgiach, whether chasddish, litivish or Eastern Shore leading to treifus being sold to a frum yid? Please name your favorite tzadakah.

    in reply to: Shidduchim for older BT #1291982
    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    My only comment would be that the person you describe would appear to be the ideal catch for a baas torah. First of all, the term “older” is bizarre since someone in their late 20s has the maturity for keddushin that is sadly lacking in so many younger bochurim. Second, the opportunity to share you life with someone who values the balance between learning and having a parnassah to support a family is also “golden”. How wonderful it is for a young man to feel an obligation to support his family rather than rely on handouts from others while at the same time feeling a dedication to a life of limud torah. I hope you will have much hatzlachah and any girl you ultimately marry will be very fortunate.

    in reply to: Do women avoid seeking necessary medical care out of modesty? #1291493
    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    To BK613:
    If a woman has existing arrangements with female specialist relevant to her pre-existing condition than obviously that would be best since she would be best served by a physician she knows and trusts. However in the case of a heart attack or serious injury requiring invasive surgery, clearly the gender of the attending physician is irrelevant. She wants to get to the best medical facility asap and would care less about tzinius if her life is at risk.
    Equally so, most men would probably feel more comfortable with a male physician for routine exams and non-emergency care but I cannot imagine a rational yid with a life threatening illness or accident telling the emergency room physician, cardio lab specialist or surgeon (who happens to be a woman) that he would prefer to delay treatment until a male physician can be called. Even the gadol hador would not delay a nanosecond to potentially save a life.

    in reply to: Do women avoid seeking necessary medical care out of modesty? #1291245
    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    Even within the Chareidi tzibur, it is accepted that pikuach nefesh trumps any concerns regarding tzinius. If one feels they are c’v suffering from a potentially life-threatening injury or illness, their first and only concern should be finding the best medical care, regardless of gender, as quickly as possible without debating matters of tzinius. As a practical matter, the majority of medical professionals in frum neighborhoods hospitals tend to be male so its not even an option to search for a woman physician in an emergency. Fortunately ,that is changing and more bnos yisroel are being encouraged to pursue medical degrees but for now, men are the norm. For lesser (non-urgent) medical needs, of course a woman can seek a woman medical care provider for such matters as OB/GYN, internal medicine, urology, etc. but otherwise if that makes her more comfortable. While there may be a de minimus number of cases where a misguided frum woman has delayed seeking care or goes to a less experienced medical provider in a life threatening health issue out of tzinius concerns, such cases are thankfully very rare and should remain so. It is incumbent on all rabbonim and askanim to make the point of seeking timely treatment from the best available professional with no concerns as to gender.

    in reply to: Reliable Hashgacha? #1290011
    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    To Daas Yochid

    I’ll repeat my point that if you have real facts or evidence that the Rav is engaged in fraud and deception with respect to his Hasgacha, you should publicly present your information to the Rabanut and authorities. If not, you are engaged in the worst type of lashon haroh, defamation and libel and should beg mechilah from the Rav and the dedicated mashgichim who work under his supervision. Its outrageous that you simply make these vague assertions without any support.

    in reply to: Anti Zionist demonstration planned in Barclays Center #1289730
    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    If some rabbonim and askanim want to run around hoding these “asifahs” on the evils of cooperating with the IDF draft, using the internet, and other issues of concern that is certainly their option but there is zero evidence these “rallies” serve any purpose other than to enrich those who provide logistical support with banners, sound systems etc. Most of the time they end up screaming gevalt to their true believers but really don’t reach those who currently disagree with them. At some point, they might consider finding some middle ground with the government, with technology providers etc. rather than their “just say no” mantra.

    in reply to: Is it illegal for the president to delete a tweet? #1289591
    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    There are 2 or possibly 3 statutes, including one specifically focused on the Office of the President, which require retention of ANY work-related documents, including emails, Tweets, blog postings etc. These rules have been upheld by the courts. Retention doesn’t mean public disclosure and indeed, presidents may specify that certain documents be kept confidential (by the National Archives) for many years after they leave office. A tweet, by definition, is a public document and must be retained. A tweet with his son regarding “business’ would violate their ethics commitments but would still be work-related since they are required to maintain records showing they complied with those ethics commitments.

    in reply to: Reliable Hashgacha? #1289567
    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    Sorry…I meant Triangle K but I don’t agree that R. Ralbag is so widely “rejected”. some hold by him and some don’t but don’t paint with such a broad brush

    in reply to: Reliable Hashgacha? #1289557
    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    I assume you have provided your objective, factual and public assessment of the deficiencies of the Circle K hashgacha to the Rabbanus so the can take appropriate enforcement action. If not, you are engaging in slander and defamation with your innuendo. I’m not a big fan of Circle K but that’s a personal decision not based on any knowledge of moral failings or breaches of integrity by R. Ralbag.

    in reply to: free day care for the kollel wife #1289560
    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    It used to be possible for day care “cooperatives” would operate in different homes such that each mother would have several days a week she could get out of the house for part-time work, etc. Today, that’s much more difficult because in both the U.S. and EY the child-care authorities have licensed these facilities and generally made it difficult for “rotating” locations without all the required safety and care equipment. The fines for violations can be very steep.

    in reply to: Reliable Hashgacha? #1289527
    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    To Syag:

    First and most important, Rav Ralbag, shlita, is a chashuvah rav and a big talmid chacham but like most non-chassideshe Mashgichim, he has his own set of chumrahs and kulahs that he goes by (e.g. can goyim participate in wine preparation prior to the separation of the skin from grape juice per the inyan of mevushal, the use of certain casks in whiskey, etc). If you are comfortable with those kulahs Rav Ralbag is “reliable”. If you want a higher standard across the board, find one of several chassideshe hashgachos (and perhaps one or two of the litvish hashgachos) who are considered the gold standard for mehadrim. No lashon horah about R. Ralbag is appropriate given that these are areas of discretion and everyone finds their own “norm”.

    in reply to: free day care for the kollel wife #1289477
    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    The vast majority of young families in the frum tzibur are very responsible, work incredibly hard and pay their bills on time. However, there are a small number who sustain the stereotype of the irresponsible and bumbling kollel yungerleit who somehow have a sense of entitlement that the tzibur owes them a parnassah and the “stuff” they need (childcare, chinuch, rental payment, groceries etc) should be free or paid by others. If you try to collect an overdue bill its like they say, “the Ebeshter will take care of my obligations since I’m shteiging 24×7) . Again, this is a tiny minority of frum familes but they convey a much large negative image which gets magnified by the retelling of these incidents.

    in reply to: Is it illegal for the president to delete a tweet? #1289363
    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    No. In the same way that Hillary was required to keep copies of her private emails that had any work-related subject matter, so is Trump. Any Tweets on national policy issues are “work-related”; any tweets regarding his personal social life (assuming he has any) or his views on a movie he saw over the weekend can be deleted.

    in reply to: Reliable Hashgacha? #1289359
    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    Just go with any reputable chassideshe hashgacha, the gold standard of kashruth. While there are some competent litivsh hashgachos, there are few cases where there have been cases of deceit or outright fraud we have sadly seen over the years where mashgichim are paid to “look the other way” or themselves are part of a conspiracy to offer treifus to unsuspecting yidden.

    in reply to: Anti Zionist demonstration planned in Barclays Center #1288431
    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    Why not acknowledge that there are a range of views on the issue of draft registration and/or ANY form of cooperation with efforts to recruit frum bochurim to some form of public service. Along with many chashuve rabbonim, I believe there are ways that bochurim coming out of high school can and should be required to participate in some form of alternative service to the tzibur that would not threaten his hashkafah while providing needed service to the tzibur (even filling in for a reservist who is called up for active duty, working in hospitals or other mosdos serving the Chareidi neighborhoods, etc). They could provide such service while continuing to learn several hours a day. Instead, the issue has been framed to make it impossible to find any middle ground and intensify the already enormous gap between segments of Israeli society.

    in reply to: free day care for the kollel wife #1288406
    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    Drop the yinglach off at Joseph’s house….consistent with his view that all bnos yisroel should “stay at home” and “don’t belong out in the world”, he has graciously offered free day care for all YWN readers who must work for a parnassah so he has the opportunity to provide them musar as to the error of their ways…he will also provide free rent, car insurance and to the first ten women, a free tichel

    in reply to: Anti Zionist demonstration planned in Barclays Center #1288377
    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    If anyone really believes that these type of “anti-Zionist” demonstrations, kinus, asifahs etc. do not contribute to the global pressures on EY, increased anti-Semitism, J-Street type groups, divestment of holdings in Israeli companies etc. you are sadly mistaken. None of these individually can be traced to a particular event but collectively they weaken EY. Having dozens of black hats by the U.N. screaming anti-Israeli rants or thousands at Barclays defaming the IDF only bring smiles to the white supremacists, racists, and Islamic terrorists. If that is your agenda and you think these demonstrations will bring down the medinah, you will not be successful.

    in reply to: Anti Zionist demonstration planned in Barclays Center #1287939
    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    Whether this event is held in NYC, Yerushalayim or Bnai Brak, its stated purpose is the issue, NOT the venue. The ability to physically defend against terrorism is an existential issue for EY and those rabbonim and askanim or promote defiance of the draft law or encourage verbal and physical assaults on the brave chayalim of the IDF will hopefully incur the consequences of their actions. For decades, EY had a workable system for providing draft waivers for true learners, not the tens of thousand of bochurim who seemingly have time on their hands for every sort of demonstration rather than shteiging 24×7.

    in reply to: Anti Zionist demonstration planned in Barclays Center #1287528
    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    The NK and some of the Satmar zealots are NOT “ultra-orthodox” Jews but a fringe group of Jewish descent who claim to represent the “true” version of their religious faith to the same extent ISIS claims to represent “true Islam”. Bachol dor v’dor we find a small number of disturbed individuals seeking to glorify themselves in the guise of Kiddush hashem but instead put all of Klal Yisroel at risk. Fortunately, in every case, the Ebeshter has squashed these efforts and will do so again here.

    in reply to: Revert Changes To YWN Website! #1287332
    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    As Gadol Hadorah, I think my opinion should carry much greater weight than those of a poishete “Rabbi”. In this case, I think the new website is much cleaner and easier to navigate. End of discussion.

    in reply to: Anti Zionist demonstration planned in Barclays Center #1287310
    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    What was originally meant as a limited waiver of the draft for a small number of serious learners has morphed over the years to a sense of entitlement for ANY chareidi bochur to avoid the draft or any form of alternative public service and shift the burden on to others. There are tens of thousands of frum bochurim who have served in the IDF and who gain valuable professional and leadership skills and go on to live a life of torah while contributing the welfare of the medinah. The small number of rabbonim who encourage the Peleg demonstrations that disrupt the evergday lives of hundreds of thousand of yidden in Yerushalayim and who tolerate the vile attacks on the chayalim of the IDF who walk on the streets of yerushalayim are the ones who should be condemned.

    in reply to: Anti Zionist demonstration planned in Barclays Center #1286452
    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    You miss the point…we need BOTH the IDF and limud torah. At virtually every point in our history, limud torah has not meant turning our backs on self-defense. These rabbonim (and R’ Auerbach and the mindless “Pelegim” in EY) have decided that everyone else except them should leave their families and risk their lives to protect the tzibur.

    in reply to: Anti Zionist demonstration planned in Barclays Center #1286369
    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    Have the two rabbonim (Shechter and Wachtflacht) who are the featured speakers at this “asifah against the draft” (aka Bash the IDF) offered any intelligent proposals as to how EY should defend itself against terrorists if everyone gets a draft derferral? Have they proposed some form of alternative public service for the yungerleit who they insist not serve in the IDF? I guess they believe that if everyone just sits and shteigs behind a shtender , the terrorists will simply go away and attack Lichtenstein. Its too bad the IDF cannot just selectively protect the rest of EY and leave these idiots to fend for themselves.

    in reply to: Anti Zionist demonstration planned in Barclays Center #1286253
    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    While everyone is entitled to their (wrong) opinion, its difficult to avoid the most harsh and angry words for the despicable yidden who would create such a high profile event to bash EY and its institutions. Yes, there are some worth Satmar mosdos who do incredible work here in hospitals etc., this chilul hashem trivializes those efforts. One does not explicitly wish bad outcomes for other yidden but in this case, perhaps just for those in the leadership of this event whose theme threatens the legitimacy of EY at a time its very existence is being challenged from anti-semitim on all sides. Their mindless claims that all yidden would be safe and thrive in a Palestinian controlled state until z’man moisiach are evidence of how out of touch with reality they are. Hopefully, they might realize the evil they plan and do tshuvah before this actually moves forward.

    in reply to: Bride's Wedding Vow to Obey Husband #1286271
    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    As you read through this thread, it seems that many posters are in denial and would like to revert back to a bygone era in the Alte Heim where women stayed at home because it was a social norm for the society they lived-in, goyishe and yiddeshe, and there were very few opportunities for women to pursue their own education and careers. B”YH, that world is GONE FOREVER, and today more than 50 percent of the students pursuing graduate degrees in professions such as medicine, law, social work, education etc. are women. Also, there are an incredible number of frum Jewish women who have found ways to maintain their yiddeshkeit and hashkafah while also pursuing their education. Yes, for those kollel yungerleit who want a “stay-at-home” baas yisroel with a very limited secular education wnd no real job skills, I’m sure the inventory is well-stocked (if one believes the constant drumbeat of “shidduch crisis” stories here) but increasingly, both young men and women are finding their beschert among those who have realized the opportunities the Ebeshter has provided and pursuing them through advanced education. These men and women are more likely to treat one another as “equals” and don’t take seriously the notion of subordination of women to their husbands.

    in reply to: Mechitza? #1285619
    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    There is no objective standard as to what is a “chumrah”. If a certain practice goes beyond the plain language and common understanding of the parameters of a halacha and “going the extra mile” makes you feel stronger in your emunah, than to you, its not a “chumrah”, since you’ve already move the baseline (both intellectually and spiritually) to your practice. To you, its “what you do”; to others, “its a chumrah”.

    in reply to: Mechitza? #1285535
    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    If the internet itself is mamash tameh according to some gadolim, how can a mechitza on the internet even be considered whether per halacha/chumrah or otherwise. We don’t typically debate whether its mutar to use cholov stam or cholov yisroel in a recipe for cooking chazerfleish

    in reply to: calling a gadol hador with a shaila ☎️❔ #1285237
    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    iacisrmma

    Yes, we are fortunate to have many “legitimate” gadolei torah and other chashuva rabbonim who are certainly big tzadikim and talmedei chachamim and are sometimes also referred to as “gadolim” but probably in a second or third tier. Many of their followers may regard them as “gadolim” but the last time I checked, there is no official certifying body for gadolim. There are a small number of gadolim who are so regarded by just about every frum yid, but if you asked the CR readers here to a “top 10” list, I suspect there would only be 4 or 5 names who would be on everyone’s list.

    in reply to: calling a gadol hador with a shaila ☎️❔ #1284507
    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    Too bad most legitimate gadolim assur the internet since the most efficient way to provide the tzibur with objective and valid information on matters of halacha would be for them to schedule one hour a week when they will hold “online office hours”. Those with shailos could post their questions on line (anonymously of course), the questions could be screened by the Rav’s more hip and internet savy gaaboim and they could post his answers on line. This way we wouldn’t have these silly posts which say, I heard from someone in my charusah, who heard in shul that someone said in the name of Rav XYZ, shlita that it is assur for the shaliach tzibur to klop on the bima during SE to shush the daveners”…We constantly hears these “in the name of” psaks or letters attributed to different Gadolim which often sound questionable but there is no way to confirm.

    in reply to: calling a gadol hador with a shaila ☎️❔ #1284359
    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    Have you considered using this forum to “screen” potential shailos for gadolim? Where else would you find such a well-informed focus group willing to offer their opinions on just about any issue of daas torah, halacha or hashkafah with no need to stand on line, exchange multiple emails or voice mail messages with some gaaboim or make a contribution to anyone’s favorite mosdos

    in reply to: Breakfast Before Davening 🍞🍳☕🥛📖 #1284008
    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    Well, if you want to be creative, you can call breakfast a “late Shabbos dinner” and daven Vasikin. I think in Megilla, 23(a) it ways that we are supposed to come to Shul “early” on Shabbos and one of the maforshim (Rashi?) adds that this means that one should come early enough to daven Vasikin.

    in reply to: calling a gadol hador with a shaila ☎️❔ #1284000
    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    Well, if you willing to submit the question here in the CR to a second tier Gadolhador(ah), I’d be glad to share my thoughts but presumably you are seeking input from a higher level of daas torah. As another noted above, however, why the venue shopping for responses from multiple gadolim? Do you want to be certain you will get the “right answer”? Is your local rav/posek incapable of providing an informed answer

    in reply to: davening in public #1283502
    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    All these comments about the volumetric levels of asher yatzar etc. presume the individual has a modicum of common sense and situational awareness such that one is not disruptive of others or otherwise draw attention to himself unnecessarily. If you are on an airplane, it would be grossly inappropriate to return to one’s seat from the lav and then perform a very loud rendition of asher yatzar so that all your fellow passengers know you have successfully performed some bodily functions. Likewise, in a nice restaurant, you wouldn’t disrupt the dining of others nearby by being unnecessarily loud in a baracha or birchas ha’mazon (whereas in a Pizza shop you might not be so worried about adding to the already high decibel level).

    in reply to: davening in public #1283159
    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    There are several hotel restaurants in EY with hashgacha where one can order an off-menu fleishig dish for breakfast that is served from the regular (dinner) kitchen with all the proper precautions; the general preference NOT to serve fleishig is simply the logistics of offering both milchig and fleishig meals concurrently and the likelihood that the wait staff mixing up dishes, utensils, etc. obviously, if one is grabbing his/her own breakfast at home, these are not concerns as would be the case in a commercial setting.

    Edited

    in reply to: Can You Imagine the Uproar if Obama had… #1282923
    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    In general, Americans don’t like foreign leaders criticizing our own leaders, whatever their own political preferences. I recall how Obama was trashed by Trump for disparaging Lefarge and the Brexit leadership before the vote. I suspect Netanyahu did himself no favors today with American public opinion by his backhanded comments about Obama. Many recall that Obama used “Bush’s recession” to excuse the dismal performance of our economy for the 4 years of his first term. We don’t need Trump using Obama as a piñata for the next 4 years to divert attention from his own non-stop and generally self-inflicted screw-ups.

    in reply to: davening in public #1282922
    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    Have we now invented some chumrah against eating fleishig for breakfast….leftover Chulent on Sunday morning…yummm

    in reply to: Losing the battle against technology? ⚔️ 📵 #1282920
    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    There have been many movements since the industrial revolution in the past 200-250 years to push back against technology and its social, cultural and economic consequences. In other words, and to coin a phrase, ba’chol dor v’dor there are Luddites who have tried to put their finger in the dike to fend off sometimes intimidating changes in the way technology changes our day to day lives. In virtually all cases, these efforts have not succeeded. Perhaps the only exception are those religious groups, including some of our own, who have the discipline to refuse change and find ways to continue life as it was in the Alte Heim in our case. When the motivation is deeply held emunah (as in your case) rather than a vague political philosophy, there are always ways to manage. Over time, its possible that a younger generation of rabbonim may “move the goalposts” as to what is acceptable based on having a better understanding of how technology works rather than redefining Halacha. Much hatzlacha to you in wherever you come out in resolving your own individual conflicts.

    in reply to: davening in public #1281951
    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    As a matter of tzinius, we don’t seek to call attention to ourselves in a public venue in any aspect of our haskafah. At the same time, we don’t need to “hide” either if the occasion arises for making a baracha or any other mitzvah. The point is to use common sense and “modesty” in all aspects of our lives. B’H, we live today, for the most part, where we have nothing to fear from the free and open exercise of our religion.

    in reply to: davening in public #1281404
    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    Most of us manage to find a “private” place, even when in “public” to say barachos. I don’t know many frum yidden who would march out of a public bathroom at any airport or shopping mall and start shuttling back and forth with kavanah and do a loud, vocal rendition of “asher yatzar” using a nigun attributed to his rebbe. Its almost always possible, even in public, to find a corner spot or behind a column etc. to make a baracha, whatever the circumstances, without calling a lot of attention to oneself.

    in reply to: Why the husband is in the driver’s seat 🤵🚗 #1281406
    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    I see lots of women drivers in the frum neighborhoods in the city and fewer on the occasions wt drive through Monsey or in Lakewood…that’s my experience…you have yours. Perhaps you have done a traffic survey so share your sources.

    in reply to: dating YOUNGER #1281367
    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    Just about every medical professional would advise against marrying a first cousin; yes, there are many thingks that are allowed under daas torah but that doesn’t mean you are obligated to do them. The torah allows a number of punishments including stoning for a variety of “crimes’ (putting aside whether or not we have a Sanhedrim), allows for taking multiple wives (putting aside Rav Gershhon’s thoughts on the issue), etc. etc. Just because something is allowed by either Torah or civil law doesn’t mean its a good idea in the context of modern society and norms. I’m sure Joseph may feel its a great idea (and he can find a rav to give him a heter) to marry his 15 YO first cousin but that doesn’t mean 99.9 percent of yidden today would do so.

    in reply to: Why the husband is in the driver’s seat 🤵🚗 #1281361
    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    If you travel anywhere near Willy or BP, you will frequently see the woman in the driver’s seat dropping off her husband at the shul or subway station with the kids in the back; I’m sure its different in Lakewood and Monsey but in the City, there are fewer frum families with their own cars, and among those probably a greater percentage of women dirvers.

    in reply to: Are Yeshivas Charging Too Much? 🕍🕍🔌🔌⚡⚡📲 #1281357
    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    The reality is that many frum parents show up at yeshivot with a mindset that the posted tuition is a “starting point for negotiation” and that its up to the yeshiva to figure out how to accommodate their kids within the budgets they have allocated. They view a yeshiva education as more of an entitlement (just like a public school education) than a obligation on their own parts to secure and pay for. While most frum parents of lesser economic means are greatly appreciative of the scholarships and grants they receive and allow their kids to be admitted, most schools administrators will tell you that a small handful of frum parentsroutinely take up the percentage of their time and are the loudest and most-confrontational on tuition-related issues.

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