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Of course, in another thread I said I was an 83-year-old man. So we’ll never really know, will we?
I picked my name because . . . I live in Haifa and . . . I’m a girl. (I know that one was tough to figure out.)
kapusta: That sounds like exactly the same story. Which details did I leave out that make it “another version”?
shaatra: Not all treif burgers have cheese. McDonald’s and Burger King and Wendy’s etc. all make burgers without cheese.
Here is my favorite. Anybody in the CR from Texas? You’ll appreciate it.
One day a man gets a knock at his door. There is a Polish person there. He asks the homeowner if he would be willing to rent him that little house in the backyard. The homeowner explains to him that it’s an outhouse, and he wouldn’t want to live there. Still, the Pole is persistent and eventually the homeowner agrees to let him rent, and move in to, the outhouse.
After a few days he notices a TV antenna on the outhouse. He thinks that’s a bit strange, but no stranger than just living in an outhouse. But after another few days, he notices a second TV antenna on the outhouse. Now his curiosity has gotten the better of him.
He goes over to the outhouse and knocks on the door. When the Pole answers, the owner says to him, “I can understand one TV antenna. But please tell me why you need a second TV antenna.”
The Pole replies, “Oh. That’s not mine. It belongs to the Aggie I sub-let the basement to.”
If the person is not learning in HS, what will cause him/her to learn in EY?
I’m with PY on this one. In most homes I’ve been in, and they include homes of some very choshuve rabbis, the men and women speak to everybody.
Maybe. It depends on the person and the situation.
How mature is this individual?
Has he/she been to Israel before? Can he/she handle the culture shock?
What kind of support system is in place? Is the whole family going? Or are there relatives (aunts/uncles) there?
Why does this person want to leave HS early? Trying to escape problems? The school situation has changed for the worse? Just wants to go to Israel?
What are the future plans? How will not having a diploma affect those plans? Or is he/she intending to get a GED?
There are probably several more questions that would need to be asked to determine what’s right for each person.
I don’t think a one-word answer is appropriate.
Absolutely. But that’s not what yoshi said. He said “hate speech.” Yelling fire in a theater is not hate speech.
Thank you WolfishMusings. It really bothers me when people learn a halacha (or worse, a minhag), but don’t learn the reasoning behind it. Then they can’t figure out when they’re in a different situation, the halacha/minhag doesn’t apply.
yoshi: Sorry to be technical here, but is freedom of speech a “right” or a “privilege”? It can’t be both. A right is something that cannot be taken away. And so far, hate speech has not been banned in America.
But you are right about public smoking. That does affect other people. Unfortunately, many state and local governments have already gone too far, regulating smoking on private property.
I’m with jphone on that one. I hate getting somewhere on time and having to wait because 7:00 really means 7:30.
jaw22: I just found this on another site, posted by someone from the CR, I believe. It’s a quote from an article by Devora Weiner, author of the book <i>From The Shadchan’s Wife: Everything You Need To Know For Successful Dating</i>.
“Writing a Torah is also a mitzva, so is teaching, being a rav or a shochet, etc. Still, we understand that we need to pay people who provide these services – even if they do them l’shem shamayim – or they won’t be able to devote themselves to their holy work. “
Oh yeah. One more restaurant. Gardens of Taxco in Los Angeles.
Mole? I’ve usually seen it as part of pollo con mole. Why ruin perfectly good chocolate by putting it on chicken? (I don’t like chicken.)
I heard a beautiful story in a shiur given by Rabbi Avrohom M. Alter that is available online. He said the story in the name of Rebbetzin Kanievsky.
In March, someone packed a car with 100 kilos of explosives and parked it at the CineMall in Haifa. It was parked hear a supporting pillar. Had it exploded, not only would it have destroyed that pillar, but other cars in the lot would have caught fire causing the gas tanks to explode. In that very popular mall, the consequences would have been too horrendously tragic to contemplate.
The explosion did not happen. A passerby spotted some smoke coming from the car and alerted the police whose sappers were able to come and defuse the explosives.
Even Ehud Olmert recognized this was a miracle, although he attributed it to the alertness of civilians.
Here’s what really happened:
Several weeks before this event, a girl in Haifa who had been sick and went for tests was told she had stomach cancer. The tumor was so big, and had metastasized, and there was nothing the doctors could do. They told her to go home for her final weeks.
This non-religious girl and her non-religious parents pleaded with the doctors to try. They begged them at least to make an effort. The doctors finally agreed and told her to come back the next day for surgery.
She was assigned a young, inexperienced surgeon. They felt it would be good practice for him, and since there was nothing that could help her, it didn’t really matter.
The night before the surgery, this non-religious girl pleaded with Hashem. She said to him, “HaKadosh Boruch Hu, when we had the Bais HaMikdosh people could bring you korbanos to plead their case. Now we have no Kohanim, we have no Bais HaMikdosh. But I still want to bring you a korban.”
She went to her closet and took out all her immodest clothing and took it out to the yard and burned them. As the her clothes went up in flames, she cried out, “This is my korban.”
The next day this girl went to the hospital in her nightgown. She had burned her entire wardrobe and this was all she had left. She had the surgery. The giant tumor had not metastisized, as was previously believed. It was totally contained. It was easily removed. And it was benign.
She told all her non-religious friends about the miracle. When the girl had recovered enough to get out of bed, her friends brought over all their immodest clothing and made another fire.
Left with nothing to wear, the girls needed new clothes. When that bomb was supposed to explode at the CineMall, these girls were inside buying themselves new, modest clothing.
A miracle that a civilian saw some smoke? Or a reward for tznius?
A woman was having a house built. As it was nearing completion she met with the GC to go over how she wanted the house decorated. And she was very specific.
In the living room, she said she wanted dark blue walls with white trim, and hardwood floors. The GC wrote some notes on the paper on his clipboard then went to the window and yelled out, “Green side up.”
Then they went into the dining room. The woman pulled out a sample of wallpaper from her purse and said she wanted that paper and pink draperies. Again, the GC wrote some notes, then went to the weindow and yelled out, “Green side up.”
This went on through the kitchen and the den. Then they went upstairs, and in each bedroom, after she told the GC what she wanted, again, he wrote notes then went to the window and yelled out, “Green side up.”
Needless to say, the woman was getting concerned. She couldn’t imagine what he was trying to do to her house. Finally, unable to contain herself she asked if he was getting her wishes down accurately, and he assured her he was.
“So why do you keep yelling out the window, ‘Green side up’?” she asked.
“Oh,” the GC replied, “I’m just giving instructions to the blond outside who’s laying the sod.”
Mr. and Mrs. Descartes were having a New Year’s Eve party. Mrs. Descarte went all out to make it special. She fixed all kinds of hors d’oeuvres and pastries and to keep it interesting, she didn’t put them all out at once. Every hour she would bring out new delicacies for her guests to enjoy.
She had made some special canapes that she wanted to serve an hour after the new year came in. However, these canapes had to sit out for awhile before being served. Yet she didn’t want the guests to have them early. So she asked her husband to guard the canapes and not let anyone touch them until the proper time.
One of the guests went over to talk to Rene (that’s Mr. Descartes for those who aren’t familiar with him) and noticed the nice canapes. He started to reach for one, but Rene stopped him saying:
I think they’re for 1 a.m.
Sorry if this is a repeat, but I could get through only 30 pages. And there were plenty of other repeats.
What do you do if you miss your mother-in-law?
Aim and shoot again.
Just-a-guy: I had some trouble with it too. But I read it slowly and carefully and realized why it could not be translated. Even if you catch just a few words, you will probably get the gist.
Forgive my ignorance, but why do sheva brachos need a theme?
And on a related note, I once was one of the hostesses for a sheva brachos with a “theme.” The theme was international. One of the hostesses was a professional chef and wanted to show off.
We had guacamole, fish toast, vegetable soup, kim chee, some kind of chicken, creme-filled pastry swans and “spaghetti & meatballs” cake. There was other stuff, I just can’t remember it.
The vegetable soup was burnt, the kim chee had not marinated nearly long enough, and the “spaghetti & meatballs” cake was just plain stupid. There were a lot of other problems, too.
The only theme you need is good food and people who want to be somayach the chasson and kallah.
Chickpeas for shalom zochors.
OTC medications for Shabbos.
Shtik for weddings.
These are all I can think of right now. It’s been a long, hard day.
The problem is frum boys and girls don’t know what it taste like to kiss a smoker. If they did, they wouldn’t marry one. And if smoking meant you couldn’t get married, you probably wouldn’t smoke.
Of course, if we started allowing kissing, it would probably lead to mixed dancing.
Absolutely NOT ban them. If they ban burkas, they can ban tzitzis hanging out, or yarmulkes, or anything else they feel like banning. Not a good precedent to set.
And ICOT, that really was great.
One thing parents can do to help is to be honest with shadchanim.
A friend of mine called a shadchan and told her about her daughter. She’s overweight. She’s a bit different. She’s learning disabled.
The shadchan was thrilled. This was the first girl she heard about who wasn’t gorgeous and at the top of her class. “This one I’ll remember,” she told my friend.
I’m not sure if it was that shadchan who redt the shidduch or not, but it didn’t take long for my friend’s daughter to get married.
Sorry, I am about as far from being a scholar as one could be. However, I seem to recall learning that the reason a woman covers her hair is from someone whose name escapes me who uncovered her hair to keep men from approaching her tent. And if I recall correctly, I was told that it says she uncovered her head not her hair. Please, someone who knows how to look this up do so and let me know.
I haven’t seen any flirting going on. Maybe if someone would tell me which forum it’s in I could find it.
SJS – I feel your pain. I have also had a problem feeling like I’m choking. It’s horrible.
I know there have been people who have been helped with sensory issues by occupational therapists. I don’t think it works for everyone, though. But if you’re desperate enough . . . .
Don’t worry. I’m really an 83-year-old man.
And I’ll concede your point, but that would leave us with no rights that the government hasn’t tried to squelch.
Telegrok: In order to preserve the anonymity here, I obviously can’t ask you for the name of your sons’ Rosh Mesivta. But if you could pass along kudos from me, I’d be most grateful. Since I became frum I have noticed a HUGE lack of table manners among the FFB community. It’s as if they never learned it. And that is one of my pet peeves.
At the risk of usurping the moderator’s position, hud, please type in English.
mazca: Freedom of speech is part of one of the 10 amendments known as the Bill of Rights. So far, only 1 of those amendments has not been breached. To the best of my knowledge, the government is not quartering soldiers in private homes. The rest of the Bill of Rights was thrown out the window long ago.
Thank you Joseph. I hereby accept the tremendous honor and hope to fulfill my post with dignity and aplomb.
I haven’t read through this entire thread, and I didn’t read through the first General Shmooze, but I did notice that someone mentioned starting General Shmooze 3. How does that work? It just starts out as General Shmooze? It doesn’t have to start as Private Shmooze then work it’s way up through corporal, sergeant, etc.?
Translation of above for those who choose to read their posts in English:
That is true, mazal77, and I agree with it completely. I felt that until now, this point that you just said, this conversation was going nowhere because it just sounded like people venting for the wrong reasons. But yes, you have a good point and it’s definitely something to think about. In fact, you’re saying pretty much what bev said. Maybe we should start some sort of project to bring this to people’s attention. I think that people are just not aware as much as they should be.
I once asked my rav about a particular food and he asked me if Prince Charles were coming over would I serve it? If not, don’t worry about it.
The mods didn’t like the English grammar lessonI tried to post. So let’s do it this way.
Did you ever fill out a form for a driver’s license, or at a doctor’s office etc.? How many of these forms asked for your “gender”?
NONE! “Gender” refers to nouns and pronouns. There is a totally different word (you’ve seen it on those forms) to refer to people. But the mods are afraid of it.
So I guess we’ll have to stick with “gender” and those of us who had a secular education will just have to tear our hair out.
I don’t want to give personal information, but I was fortunate to live in a town where I davened at two different places, and in neither one was there talking during davening or laining.
These places exist. You just have to look for them.
A friend of mine is extremely involved with a yeshiva that does not require the bochurim to wear white shirts. A friend of hers with a daughter asked about a particular bochur. She asked if he wears only white shirts. My friend replied that she wouldn’t answer the question as it wasn’t relevant. The woman asked her, “but if he doesn’t wear white shirts, how do I know he’s frum?”
I guess learning in a yeshiva is not good enough.
I’m not going to direct this to Joseph, since I presume he’s a man, but she was already feeling like the frum community didn’t accept her, and that incident didn’t help. She’s no longer shomer Shabbos and is living with her non-Jewish boyfriend.
I don’t want to be flippant, but, did Moshe Rabbeinu wear a hat and jacket?
As a community we have been putting far too much emphasis on what a person wears and not enough on what a person does.
Years ago a friend of mine described what she was looking for in a potential mate: black hat, black suit, beard. I once suggested she go out with a particular man who I thought she had a lot in common with. She really didn’t want to because he didn’t wear a black suit, he wore a sport jacket, and he wore a kippah srugah. It was a long time ago, and I don’t remember the conversation exactly, but one day she mentioned his name in reference to something, and I replied something about not being able to contact him because he was learning with his chavrusah. She replied, “He learns?” as if that was something she couldn’t imagine someone doing if he wasn’t dressed all in black. BTW, they have been married for about 15 years now.
Does your son daven? Does he learn regularly? If he does, I wouldn’t worry about his attire.
And on the subject of handshakes:
A (female) friend of mine applied for a job. She had an interview with the (frum, female) owner of the business, who apparently liked her a lot. She took my friend to the office of the (non-Jewish, male) head of one of the departments. He extended his hand. At that point my friend had a split-second to make a decision. She could possibly offend the department head by not shaking his hand, or possibly offend the business owner by shaking the man’s hand. She chose not to shake his hand. He was offended. My friend did not get the job.
I once read in a tznius book that it is better to wear light-colored stockings than dark-colored, because with dark-colored, you know when you see the light patches you are looking at skin, whereas with the light-colored stockings it all looks the same. Of course, that particular section of the book did not mention totally non-see through, or “bullet-proof” stockings.
I especially like the “nacho cheese” Doritos with are pareve here. Although, truth be told, they don’t taste as good as I remember the “real” nacho cheese Doritos from before I was frum.
According to an article in Ha’aretz (mods, am I allowed to say that? If not, just edit it out) they number of “ultra-Orthodox” university students is on the rise.
These are students at Bnei Brak Haredi College and the Haredi College of Jerusalem, as well as the Safed branch of the Jerusalem College of Technology.
To quote the article: [Adina] Bar-Shalom said ultra-Orthodox society is undergoing significant changes: “People want to earn their daily bread with dignity. They want to be in places where they have strength and influence.
“We also need doctors, psychologists, nurses,” she added, “so that we have our own people who are familiar with our problems.”
Adina Bar-Shalom is the daughter of Rabbi Ovadia Yosef and the founder of the Hareidi College of Jerusalem.
So, it is possible to get a secular education and still not lose your Torah values.
Slightly off topic but several years ago I heard about a particular community where people who couldn’t afford to do construction on their house (adding a room, renovating, etc.) would rent a dumpster to put outside so people would think they were doing construction.
It’s amazing what people will do to try to keep up with the neighbors.
I would highly recommend NAET for people with allergies, and for people who think they don’t have allergies. I did not have any specific symptoms, but noticed an overall improvement when I had the treatments. Friends of mine with severe symptoms (who didn’t know they had allergies and didn’t know what caused there symptoms) had remarkable results. The one caveat is that not all NAET practicioners are equal, so make sure you find a good one.
plonis: I would tend to agree with NY Mom that the mitzva of kibud av v’em overrides your chumra. But I’m not a rav. Do you have an LOR you can discuss this with? He might be able to clarify things for you.
As an interesting side note, I once had a sefardi roommate who told me when her family lived in Sudan her father would not let her wear tights because there it was considered not tznius. I must admit I was quite surprised at that.
oomis: It’s not shrimp and it’s not lobster are great. They bear only a passing similarity to the real stuff. As for the imitation bacon bits, they don’t even come close to the real thing. (I’m a BT. I know what all that stuff tastes like.)