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  • in reply to: "Coffee" Room?? #727559

    cutiepie- coffee and dark soda both stain your teeth…but that’s not why I don’t drink coffee while in the CR- I just can’t stand the taste!

    in reply to: Wolfishmusings=Kapusta #773713

    Can’t I just use a different place/computer/internet hookup to login, one for each place? What if I use my phone for one and my computer for the other (ok, no internet on my phone… at this point I don’t need it so wont pay for it)…or a computer at work/school? If I have two email addresses….. Who is really to say?

    Not that I have two account. Just playing “devil’s advocate” here =P


    in reply to: "Please Get Outta Here" and other Polite Rudeness #726932

    Put the punctuation anywhere you want in the statement…

    I hate to see you go.


    I hate to see you, GO!

    in reply to: "Please Get Outta Here" and other Polite Rudeness #726931

    Be like a tree and leave (leaf).

    in reply to: Eating Disorders Developing In Seminary? #1007370

    Unfortunately, this problem does not only apply in seminaries in E”Y but in high schools and American seminaries. In seminary people think, “oh, I dont want to gain weight like everyone else so I will cut carbs…..” and it all goes downhill from there when girls lose way too much weight to be safe. I know of a few cases of suspected and actual eating disorders that happened before any girl went off to seminary. There is a weird phenomenon about girls having to be a certain size in order to get a good shidduch or to be seen as “proper”. But not everyone is meant to be that size- bone structure, height ect will not allow everyone to be 100 lbs! Does anyone have any ideas how to combat this dangerous situation? (Other than the obesity epidemic?)

    in reply to: Cutting Off A Car #1177374

    Careful driving… better to lose a minute of your life than your life in a minute!

    in reply to: Story time – NEW WORLD GAME JAN 7 #1174783

    jumped (going off of We)

    in reply to: Dor Yesharim #726422

    I am not saying we shouldn’t all do DY but I have a question on it.

    Yes, no one wants to be the “couple with the child who has….” but aren’t we doing Klal Yisroel a big disfavor because in a couple of generations, everyone, or almost everyone, will be carriers? I spoke this over with people who understand genetics. they said it is not great for everyone to do DY because of this. We are only postponing the inevitable, as unless our grandchildren (or great grandkids) will all marry geirim, too many will be carriers. We are just awaiting a cure to be found, rather than solving anything. Since frum yidden only marry other frum yidden, our gene pool is smaller than other societies and our families are all genetically closer than others. This is especially true in certain sub-societies, like certain chasidish groups, who will only marry others of that same group.

    any ideas on this? Other than everyone having their children become genetic researchers to look for a cure. Tay-Sachs is mainly a Jewish disease and therefore those in the general society do not have such a large stake in finding a cure for it, rather than say a cure for cancer or diabetes which impacts almost every person (name a person who does not know one person with either of those two diseases).

    in reply to: Would you marry a smoker? #726037

    How can a parent responsibly allow their child to smoke?

    If you say “they are out of the house/away in yeshiva” then

    a)why isn’t your parental teachings impacting them? We learn about Yosef seeing an image of his father and it prevented him from doing aveiros…

    b)maybe they shouldn’t be out of supervision at this point in their maturity level?

    Why is it “ok” (it shouldn’t be) in the yeshivish world for men to smoke but not women?

    For those who smoke regularly (pack a day type): If you can support that habit, especially when prices are so high and there are so many taxes on it, then maybe you are wealthy enough to pay full tuition?

    If you can stop because of shabbos/yom kippur than why can’t you stop the rest of the time? 25 hours is a long time…

    Tell me- is there any reputable Rav in today’s world who says it is muttar to smoke? to start to smoke? I have heard of many rabbanim who said it is assur to start smoking. For those who started before the consequences were well-known, they are michuyav to do their best to stop.

    in reply to: Girls Compromising in Shidduchim #725924

    Me thinks- Smoking’s not all bad??? What planet were you born on? Smoking is a leading cause of cancer, heart problems, asthma, emphazema, COPD and early death!

    Second hand smoke also kills- many of the problems that occur for the smokers impact the health and quality of life for those around the smoker.

    I for one, say NO SMOKERS IN MY HOUSE! I would never marry a smoker and neither would any of my family members!

    And halachically, how many leading rabbonim have said that it is assur to start smoking and it is michuyav on current smokers to seriously attempt to stop. I guess if they smoke and aren’t trying to stop do they really care about halacha? Another strike against them…

    in reply to: Best Thing To Wear On The Plane Is… #725120

    Nothing bulky (security issues). You will have to take off any sweater/sweatshirt you are wearing.

    <Women> : So for those who are wearing velour zip ups as a shirt (with a shell)- you will be asked to take it off or, when you refuse because you are not tznius that way, to step aside into another room with a twa agent.

    Better that doing all of that, wear a long sleeved shell or some other garment! I know frum women who had that problem and it made security a lot longer while the rest of the family had to wait.

    in reply to: Hamodia magazine new column "Single as a dollar bill" #724539

    Shidduchim are as rare as a $2 bill?

    in reply to: pre paying shadchanim #724825

    Just a quick question- some people have mentioned that “the community will pay the shadchan”.

    A. Is this only for “community sponsored shadchanim”?

    B. For the pay per date idea?

    For both A and B:

    Who is this wonderful couple named Mr. and Mrs. Community? I am sure every tzeddakah organization would love to get them on the mailing list….TANSTAAFL.

    in reply to: pre paying shadchanim #724807

    I personally feel against paying after 2/4 or 3/5 (because some people do the two date minimum) because there are so many shadchanim that outright lie about either side. A girl was telling me about a shadchan she was using and wanted to know if it was normal the way she was feeling. “Just go out on another one”. “Just try it- maybe he’ll be XYZ on the next one and he is just shy…”

    Maybe this payment schedule will just make people stop dating when it could be working because “he/she is just not worth the $$$ to try it”.

    What about the idea that people don’t reveal significant medical information about one party until they reach date 5 or whatever? then the shadchan makes $$ (date 2 and 4) knowing it very well might not work out.

    in reply to: No Women On The Seruv List? #746854

    I know of a case that had demonstrating done for it. The way it gets promoted is a flier gets sent through emails ect and they say “man making woman agunah. protest at 3 pm…” Many of the people may not know the real story (I don’t know the story listed here either) but “feel bad” or may hear rumors/lies ect.

    Then again, who really knows the truth of what happened?

    Health- just because there are the numbers does not mean that they are correct.

    in reply to: Tipping a delivery boy – Mandatory or Optional? #920254

    cedarhurst- no, I resent going to a restaurant and they put “T.I.P. 16%” or whatever the number is. (I don’t go often and I can’t afford to. But once in a really blue moon it can be done).

    They should not automatically add that on top of the price of the meal. either incorporate it into the price of the food (not as an extra right before calculating tax or whatever) or leave it up to my judgment! If the waiter was rude, inconsiderate ect he/she should not receive the same amt of T.I.P. We don’t ask for things every five minutes, but if someone needs ketchup, before dessert it would be appreciated! Good service gets a better tip.

    in reply to: Tipping a delivery boy – Mandatory or Optional? #920234

    Do you know what the word tip means? It really is an abbreviation: To Insure Promptness.

    On the other hand…

    Some sleep away camps do not pay staff as they assume they will get tips. Unfortunately, not all staff are in “tip positions” (waitress/counselor) and are never compensated for their time at all. I know someone who worked several jobs at a camp, assuming she would “split the pot” of all tips received, as she was lead to believe. She worked the whole summer, paid to do so, and received no money whatsoever. I know the girl was upset at the camp for a while as she felt taken advantage of.

    But based on the definition of the word- it is not mandatory but is there to encourage the workers to work faster/better.

    in reply to: Frum Jews and College #1073182

    tmb and Derech HM- What I was saying was an “argumentum A fortiori ” (Kal Vi’chomer to some of you out there). If someone could learn from Acher, then who are we to say who is kosher enough to learn from? How do we know who here is a R’ Meir?

    in reply to: People with Yichus #724181

    Maybe Madoff’s son killed himself because everyone kept comparing him to his father. If people would just take each person as they are, and not base anything on who their parents are/were, maybe he would have been ok to say “my dad was a crook but I am not…”

    Or maybe he killed himself because he was a crook but only his father was sitting in jail. Perhaps he was in on it but his father said “dont admit it- its bad enough one of us has to sit”. But that’s neither here nor there.

    in reply to: Is it possible (in the present market) jobs #724035

    A BA in psychology will not grant you many jobs out there. Neither would a plain “MS in psychology”. A masters in counseling/ Mental Health Counseling ect will give you more opportunities and a higher pay.

    Like in many jobs, if you are currently in a graduate level program, some people will hire you than if you are not in such a program. Just an idea….

    in reply to: People with Yichus #724162

    Good point Poppa- But maybe the reason being a descendant of someone 400 years ago is unique is how many people can trace their families back that far?

    in reply to: Frum Jews and College #1073153

    charliehall: Haven’t you previously stated you are a congregant of Rabbi Avi Weiss’ synagogue?”

    I prefer intellectual-style debates without name calling or pointing out something about the poster, rather than his arguments. Not to say anything about any posters here, or any people mentioned here, but didn’t R’ Meir learn from Acher? Should we now take a penknife and cut out anything R’ Meir said?

    in reply to: Top 10 Sure-Fire Ways to Make You Feel Frummer #723399

    The OP was just trying to write a little satire. Stop bashing someone because you don’t automatically agree with it. It reminds me of a bumper sticker I saw and it said “have you changed your mind today yet?” and those people with that sticker are actually less likely to listen to an intellectual debate on a topic. They won’t change their mind even when their theory has been proved wrong.

    mseeker- your comments were soo inappropriate for the CR. while the OP did not name any names, did not point out any particular group, and did not say “in city XYZ they do…” you still felt it necessary to say your first tip “have a screen name —“. Please refrain from name calling.

    As others have said- stop the bashing! I prefer intellectual-style debates without name calling or pointing out something about the poster, rather than his arguments.

    in reply to: No Women On The Seruv List? #746844


    “The amount of money he must give is specified in the Kesuba. To demand more is wrong of her. To give less is wrong of him. “

    If she requested the get, he does not owe her anything. Nadda.

    in reply to: No Women On The Seruv List? #746843

    How can you make general statements like this? Every child is different- some need their mother, some their father and some need a combination! Some do best sharing their parents and traveling back and forth- I know of a kid who does well in this way as both parents are civil about it. They arranged to buy the same kind of bedding, books, toys ect and there is one in each house so that way the child is secure. Unfortunately, many divorce cases leave both parents so raw and vindictive that they end up hurting the child in the process.

    in reply to: Frum Jews and College #1073145

    By listing all the talmedei chachamim that have gone to college, even if they went to college before “acheiving gadol status” doesn’t that show that people can go to college and still turn out Kosher and ehrlich and even a gadol?

    Yes, college is not for everyone- the person must be steadfast in his or her beliefs and constantly question what he is being taught and realize “is this ok? is this not ok?” Yes, by the time a frum yeshiva student has gone through 13+ years in the yeshiva system we hope that they have steady grounding in Torahdika hashkafos.

    If they aren’t….

    What happens if they are on the subway and someone asks them ‘why do all you Jews wear funny clothes/eat weird foods/talk differently?’ Or starts talking religion?

    Maybe the problem lies with our educational system- does it prepare the yid for bumping into a secular yid or a goy??

    in reply to: People with Yichus #724149

    Jose, maybe it is because some of those with yichus make it the end-all-be-all and make it as though those without such lineage can *never* be as great as they are. Then again, if they are not living up to their great history, are they then worse off than *ordinary* folk?

    Just hypothesizing here. I am proud of my family, no matter what their status in the history books are. Each person who was on this world left an imprint and impacted future generations. So without my great great grandparents, whoever they might be, I would not be here today.

    in reply to: Should A Yid Own A Gun? Or Not? #723615

    Sorry. I stand corrected.

    But technically, I was thinking about it, the ACLU should be taking the cases (instead of fighting against them) of all the gun-rights promoters, such as DC. v. Heller ect.But they are too open-minded and their brains have fallen out. =)

    A website states that the ACLU does not take cases such as:

    “Criminal cases or complaints about a person?s attorney in a criminal case — the ACLU considers accepting criminal cases only in limited instances, such as, for example, when a person is being prosecuted for engaging in activity protected by the Constitution – such as participating in a political demonstration or where the statute or ordinance under which the person is charged is subject to constitutional attack.”

    They also made statements about “civil liberties” and if the case is about civil liberties being denied, they may take your case as well.

    So my right to carry is a constitutional issue, so sayeth the second amendment. It also deals with civil liberties being infringed upon. so why wont the ACLU help? =)

    in reply to: When To Tell Our Parents #723970

    Before you tell your CR friends! (You never know if they are reading these posts…)

    in reply to: People with Yichus #724140

    Back to the OP- what constitutes Yichus? If I theoretically am a 4th cousin of some dynasty, does that count or what? How close? Just curious because I have seen such terms thrown around… someone who says “I am a relative of such and such a gadol” but when you look at it, they have just figured out the 7 degrees of separation between them and the gadol. (we can all trace back to Noach and non-gerim to Avraham Avinu so technically we are all related….)

    And how do you react when you see the “people with yichus” behave worse than “the regulars”? Someone who taught at a yeshiva told me something they noticed- not all, but a good percentage in that class, of the trouble-makers were technically “with yichus”, at least locally. Like they were a rebbe/rav’s child ect. It makes me wonder if yichus really means all that much when looking for quality persons to marry.

    in reply to: Should a Yid own a Dog? Woof Woof! #1168817

    What business is it of anyone else’s if I want to or already own a dog? Yes, it is one thing if it is incredibly loud (but dont complain if you blast music at all hours or build your sukkah at 4am even after being asked to wait till dawn!) or there are holocaust survivors on your block ect. Maybe ask the survivors if they mind…?

    But in the end- if I am not going against halacha, why should your opinion matter?


    in reply to: Frum Jews and College #1073107

    What about the idea that not everyone is a gadol, can be a gadol or will ever get to this coveted status ever? I am not being pessimistic but I try to think of myself as a realist. There are those boys out there who may be “great boys” but just are not “gadol” quality. They may not have any disability or behavioral problem- not everyone is cut out to learn. What are those boys to do? Are they to become janitors?

    torahis1- how can you dare say that you don’t rely on what they did before they were gedolim? Is there some sort of award ceremony or pronouncement made “so and so is now “A Gadol”? What is the point you decide someone is a gadol? When you start agreeing with what they say?

    in reply to: Should a Yid own a Dog? Woof Woof! #1168793

    Oh, and the “tzeddekah” idea mentioned here leaves a lot to ponder on. Should you not buy new yom tov clothes because a poor person needs that money? Should you not eat fleish or chicken in the week because a poor person can’t?

    You are required to give 10% of your earnings to tzeddekah and forbidden to give more than 20%. So you can use the rest for what you want/need.

    Ruff Ruff said it nicely- “You don’t owe money to Tzeddaka, and you don’t empty your coffers to Tzeddaka. It is always simply the cheapest and quickest way to criticize.”

    in reply to: Should a Yid own a Dog? Woof Woof! #1168791

    Having any pet, whether a dog or a hamster- it doesn’t matter, is very helpful to families. It teaches children responsibility: feed it, change cage/walk it ect. It also teaches people of all ages how to give unconditionally. What does a pet do- all it does is give back love. (Ok, dogs can protect against home invaders too) Its like a child in a way. There are many reasons why someone should adopt a dog ( and from a shelter, not a breeder).

    Is there anything inherently wrong with having a dog? Just because you personally don’t like them is not a reason for others not to have one. If halachos are written about it, and none say “Thou shalt not own a dog” (with meforshim adding- all creatures unless thou liveth on a farm or needs such creatures for living tasks), it seems that pets, and specifically dogs, are ok!

    And if you live outside of (crazy/self-centered) brooklyn, odds are you have more than a 2×2 yard and can let your dog run around there!

    in reply to: yeshivas #722354

    Define “greasy”. (watch the differing definitions out there…)

    AND PLEASE WRITE IN FULL SENTENCES! Commas do not take the place of verbs, prepositions or periods!

    What is your question/point anyways LABUBBY?

    in reply to: No Women On The Seruv List? #746823

    Sam- what kind of seruv can be made against a woman? like other posters have said… what kind of social pressures can be induced upon the woman? wow, excluded from getting an aliyah- hopefully the shul wouldn’t give her one anyways.

    What do you mean, “his and her” beis din? Doesn’t the Beis Din summon the other party (when asked by one side) and they have a choice to come to that one or any one of their liking? (of stature, frum ect). How could a Beis Din issue a seruv against one side if the other side is not there or has not said their opinion/side of the story? Isn’t that contrary to halacha?

    in reply to: yeshivas #722349

    Wolf- Kudos to you as an amazing parent! There are so many parents out there who look for “the best” yeshiva or “the top” yeshiva, without considering what will be best for their child.

    in reply to: Should A Yid Own A Gun? Or Not? #723612

    Homeowner- If the alleged criminal is a minority, the ACLU will get involved. If there is any liberal-agenda possibly attained through the case- the ACLU may take the case.

    Too many real criminals out there are let off for silly reasons or technicalities. I am not opposed to counsel, but a) if you do the crime, do the time and b) stop making up reasons why someone should not serve time… they had a broken home, tormented childhood ect. At the time of the crime, they knew what they were doing and the consequences for their actions- ie: no insanity defense should be accepted.

    in reply to: yeshivas #722336

    Hmmm…how are you determining this?

    1. number of students

    2. elevation (as others have said, and I think Denver wins…)

    3. How Yeshivish? Now this would be almost impossible to determine….


    *Amount covered by the school’s curriculum? But how do you know if they really comprehend the material and know it?

    *school rules?

    *lack of school rules (because the students know better so we don’t have to tell them not to…)

    The above two really don’t mean anything because what do the students do outside school grounds?

    *”talk yeshivish” ie- mean that “what are the top 5 schools with the poorest English vocabulary and comprehension?

    Please expand and clarify your question… possibly elucidating the reason for the post could assist the general readers. No one knows “what you mean” except you. Oh, and please write in COMPLETE SENTENCES! Then again, not if you mean the last “*”…

    in reply to: good board games to play on date #722201

    Why would someone not like board games on a date? It is a whole lot better than sitting in a lounge, drinking over-priced sodas with no conversation starters…. Isn’t the point of dating to see how the other person thinks, acts ect in real life? Its not just if they come on time or say thank you to the man in the car lot. How competitive are they? Can they stand to lose a game?

    Charades might not be a great game to play…especially if she is in heels and since it can get into uncomfortable situations.

    But what about pictionary, especially if the guy starts off saying “I can’t draw…” so that way she doesn’t feel embarrassed by her (non)-artistic skills?

    in reply to: good board games to play on date #722200

    Why would someone not like board games on a date? It is a whole lot better than sitting in a lounge, drinking over-priced sodas with no conversation starters…. Isn’t the point of dating to see how the other person thinks, acts ect in real life? Its not just if they come on time or say thank you to the man in the car lot. How competitive are they? Can they stand to lose a game?

    Charades might not be a great game to play…especially if she is in heels and since it can get into uncomfortable situations.

    But what about pictionary, especially if the guy starts off saying “I can’t draw…” so that way she doesn’t feel embarrassed by her (non)-artistic skills?

    in reply to: Should A Yid Own A Gun? Or Not? #723602

    Health- sorry for misunderstanding your post. I had thought you were confused as well after reading your post. Thank you for your explanation.

    in reply to: No Women On The Seruv List? #746817

    We talk about a seruv here but does it really mean anything?

    What about those rabanim who will not uphold the seruv? I am talking about cases (I personally know some) where one side violated Beis Din, went against Beis Din orders, brought the matter to secular court after being in Beis Din, or would not go to Beis Din when asked to ect. Then the Beis Din did nothing to enforce their ruling! They did not call a seruv ect. those people still were counted as part of the minyan, got aliyos ect.

    What good is a seruv if it is not enforced?

    in reply to: Should A Yid Own A Gun? Or Not? #723600

    Oh, in CA it is illegal to carry more than 2.5 oz of pepper spray- how does the govt expect you to be able to protect yourself? What if there are two attackers- I personally have not used pepper spray before and therefore, if I happen to have some on my person, I might not have the best aim. You can’t just practice with pepper spray- can you? Its not like with a .45 which you can take to the range and see how accurate you are.

    Does anyone know if pepper spray is a good defense mechanism? What about if it is slightly windy outside- is it hard to be accurate? how far do you have to be from the attacker? Do they have to be right next to me/about to grab me from behind?

    Since Health says they are legal, I want to know my legal options to protect myself. Does anyone know the legal specifics? Like states, requirements ect- I had read about that CA law once… is there anything like that for any other state?

    in reply to: Should A Yid Own A Gun? Or Not? #723599

    Health- I did read all the posts in this thread. I just may not comment on all of them and may not comment as quickly as others (I am quite busy…). By the way, pepper spray and mace are not the same thing. Mace is outlawed. You were speaking about pepper spray.

    Mace- is a tear gas (and a brand name.) Mace contains either CS (2-chlorobenzalmalononitril, also called o-Chlorobenzylidene Malononitrile) or CN (Alphachloroacetaphenone.)

    Pepper spray- is a spray containing oleoresin capsicum, an extract of pepper, as the active ingredient.

    Mace is an irritant.

    Pepper spray is an INFLAMMATORY agent.

    Mace is thought to hurt more than pepper spray.

    If I am wrong about this, please let me know. I enjoy learning new things…

    in reply to: Meshulachim are people!!! #721580

    Any ideas how to tell people nicely that they are not allowed to collect without a shtar from the rabbanim? No, it doesn’t mean that we think you are a fraud, its just the rules here…

    We have many who try to circumvent the rules, which were in place for a reason…

    in reply to: Should A Yid Own A Gun? Or Not? #723595

    Back to the topic at hand. In NYC, the great liberal and crazy city, you may not own a taser or mace! Soon they will outlaw baseball bats….

    in reply to: Should A Yid Own A Gun? Or Not? #723594

    Blueprint- If you are that afraid of having a decent debate, I suggest you step away from your computer and lock yourself in a closet for the next decade.

    I am all up for a decent debate, as long as both sides come prepared to deal in facts, not maisos that tend to expand as they get told on… (I caught a 1/2 pound fish… it was 3 feet long and weighed 100 pounds! we ate if for the next month!)

    in reply to: Should A Yid Own A Gun? Or Not? #723568

    Midwest2- I know several myself (and I don’t think I know too many or too many from the same mindset- some are of different political persuasions and from different religious backgrounds) whom would ponder owning/carrying one and lament the laws. And they are all not from the Southwest either… I think you meant “southeast”- Georgian residents are more likely to carry than your average Californian.

    And it is not a few- On the JPFO website alone, there have been 2,182,965 visitors in about a decade (as of my posting)… yes, that is not the same as other websites- this is to a targeted audience. The website is Jews for the Preservation of Firearm Ownership, not Xian ect so it does turn off some people (but they do not restrict membership ect and clearly state that it is not just for Jews).

    The majority of gun owners are peaceful people who just want to protect themselves and their loved ones.

    Blueprint- I, for one, do not question my sanity. If you do, then it puts some of your comments into perspective.

    in reply to: New Word Game #1041485


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