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I think rav shais taub in last weeks Ami explains why we need both ahavas hashem but also yiras hashem
i do like syag does. For one kid it works. the other one sometimes just needs to be taken out(or threatend to be taken out)of bed. and hes heavyyyyyyyyy. It can be very frustrating at times. but it has to be done….
megille. but some others to. psuchim, bruches, buve basre(bifrat the third perek cheskas habatim)etc etc
theres deff a change towards reaching out for help. no doubt
doesnt it depend on the situation????
@loyal jew: the same is with doing any parkematya(business)with jew and non jews alike. Yet we do business with the opposite gender on daily basis. If there is no yichud problem or shaking hands involved i just cant see why therapy is diffrent than any other professional meeting. Just btw every therapist is supposed to have someone who he/she talks to in order to see if theres a problem coming up
Being able to open up to the other gender and being attracted are two diffrence things. I never had a problem with this and never will. And i mean frum female therapists. There was never a yichud problem. Its professional and nothing more. Since i dont live in same country like my therapist we usually skype. Besides when i go there.
from my experience: i am a male, married with kids bh. i have tried therapy with both genders and just couldnt connect to men. Id say it depends on each case.
my shver, a well respected rav, was asked by a frum guy who got an offer to work for another frum guy only on condition that hed shake hands with goyishe women, if theres an heter for this. My shver replied: theres only one heter: naases lo keheter…ve hamevin yovin
oh really?? so u come and are mekatreg on erliche yiddenes now who gave u the right to do so? according to haluche theres no problem with sheitlech that are tzinusdigMay 4, 2012 9:25 am at 9:25 am in reply to: Vanishing posters. Who do you miss? Lets get them back #872656
it takes alot of understanding and emnua to keep oneself on the yiddishkeit track everyday. i fully understand that. been and maybe am in ur place myself. but im older and can tell you that almost every action you take as a teen can have tremendous consequences later on when your grown up and see things in diffrent light.
its deff good to speak to someone about it. maybe even more than once. never forget that lemaase your never alone. reach out and keep on g(r)o(w)ing. Good LUCK to youApril 24, 2012 10:26 am at 10:26 am in reply to: who would you say is the most intelligent CR poster? #870198
to me aries is. but i think shes out of here,no??
well almost noone of my town married someone from my town…its usually london, antwerp, nyc or israel. my brother went on a date to melbourne and got married there but lives in vienna. i am one of only heimishe who married a heimishe girl from here i deff agree with aries on this. btw usually kids come for yomtov etc and im not “fortunate” enough to go anywhere, my inlaws live 2 streets away and my own parents 10 min walk…
Well I disagreed with her because I see torah learning but in a serious way only as the top priority. Which means marriyin of a girl who really wanted a true ben thora to someone who just spends his time in koilel is unfair. If husband and wife a re serious in it anf she wants to work and be the mother at the same times its top. But I can understand that after some time when it gets tough in all ways its just normal to consider for a man to look for work(maybe a shtelle which is hard to find nowadays) and anyways if start to think about brainwashin…were all brainwashed. But there are ppl who truly believe in it with their heart and soul and want itJanuary 11, 2012 10:37 pm at 10:37 pm in reply to: Can you explain to me how YOU read a thread, in general, please? #843746
I can’t go thru all the comments if there plenty of them and also if the main topic was already forgotten…there are topics where I look comments of particular users like aries but also arwsf because we have similar backround and lifesituations. What I mamesh dislike is the fighting, the tone of it. I love also the funny statements but since I’m not american I don’t get evry joke. Its though good to see how ppl support eachother here and I love to read diffrent opinions on a topic. Sometimes when a comment refers to another I do look for it when I’m convinced its important.
from what i read in another thread DH should b dear husband but thats only a title and no fact…
first of all kudos to cindarella that you did this. I dont know Rav Abadi from Lakewood but we live in europe and our kashruscommittee(which my father in law is leading who is a renown rav and expert in kashrus in europe and abroad)gives out once a year a little booklet with products that have been checked which once can buy here without hechsher. I have had many talks to my shwer and cannot imagine one can only say somethings kosher out of looking on the ingrediantslist. There are so many shaales on the rest that i believe anyone who understands the value of kashrus besides the fact you can get in usa kosher things in any place(with hechsher)will just never pick up a product and just eat because he thinks the ingrediants are kosher. Thats my opinion after dealing with kashrus issues for a long time. I also have visited factories with my shwer and am not sayin now nothing can be kosher without a hechsher but it needs proper checking. and i guess baal nefesh hamachmir tavo alav habracha
aries thats a great line!!! and so true
id do the drums..
i am sure there is shaile if someone writes something on shabbes if we are allowed to read..but then how should we know that it was written on shabbes?? Mods please consider(im sure u do)that you have user from outside usa that could post when by you its still shabbes…December 14, 2011 10:34 am at 10:34 am in reply to: Serving Alcohol To Bochurim And Sem Girls And Kids #835348
never happened by us to have yeshiva boys or girls for shabbes but it doesnt seem toooo right to offer. and cinderella its sad that ur ex not real friend is misusing alcohol there must be a reason for this…what i did see was bucherim under 18 on purim that got sooo drunk during the day drinking here and there and it wasnt a pretty sight. i agree that purim a little is ok but it seems noone cared to look what this boy(age 15 max)was doingDecember 14, 2011 8:35 am at 8:35 am in reply to: Aside from Michael Savage does anyone else see that there is something wrong wit #837382
i can understand popas post. and that in golus it always goes that we yidden try to be good with the malchus…but the jokes(i had to google them now i didnt hear about them)are tasteless and probably he wouldnt dare the same with muslims… thats the president we got and besides voting for another guy hoping obama will loose we cant do much
ill put it this way: lots of ppl are struggeling his problem is that hes a celeb. So evryone sees the changes. and his music…well since its the closest to goyish music possible and still somehow considered jewish music im sure its good for those who try to stop listening to goyish stuffDecember 13, 2011 11:58 am at 11:58 am in reply to: Lights on Shabbos and Thanking Someone for Doing an Aveirah on Your Behalf #840965
Mod a big like on ur question!!!
i cant talk for women because im just a man but what blabla and aries said is at least in my case 100% true. i suffered and still suffer from depressions and am taking meds. It took over a year and changing of psychiatrists to get to the meds that really worked. and of course im on therapy as well and the same applied for this as well: it took more than 2 therapists to find the right one. The issues can be widespread as mentioned above. getting off meds is not a simple thing to do. it has to be with the doc ur seein, slowly and most of all the right decision. i had my bad experience with it as well. meds are no solution its just a way to help you be able to deal with urself much better. distancing urself from the turmoil(or whatever it is) that your in. And yes many men take anti depressions.
@observanteen loved what u posted. all the answers you wrote are the right ones just as my “research” told me and yes i ve seen the video where rav amnon answered this!!
@bsd if someone has no internet access the post wouldn’t help if he can’t read it here onlime
I had a time when doubting maamad har sinai and other things and started reading book from rav neugershel who, aiming for people who didn’t grow up in a frum home,explains rationally why maamad har sinai is true. But I made it to 27 years not asking for proof because that’s just how I grew up. So I think there is no need to give evidence to our kids. But in case they come to you and ask questions its not enough to just say that’s kabule mi dor ledor and forget it. Its important to be able to deal with the questions our kids ask us no matter how old they are. In the end after reading books it stays emuna pshuta.
@always runs dus freg ich mich oichet….any suggestions? di kashe is efsher vus is jo oisgehalten
Feif un ein issur chal al issur. One issur stays 🙂
ALways run evryones a bt somehow the question is how to deal with what we grew up with. With music its like this that only little jewish music appeals to me so i mostly listen to what my kids do
Rolling Stones – Angie
David Bowie – Absolute Beginners
Beatles – While my guitar gently weeps and others
Disney – A whole new world
Roxette – Listen to your heart, it must have been love and others
Bryam Adams- Do it for(robin hood movie), Summer of 69 and others
Alanis Morisette – You outha know etc etc
Pink Floyd – The Wall CD, Dark Side of the Moon CD
and so much more…i just grew up with and hardly can really stop
i wanna pick up on something that was said here. the diffrence between modern and ortodox. I grew up in a non chassidish(and so to say non livish)kehila and of course home too. Modern to me means people that pasken sheiles for themselves…meaning when they wanna eat something that is not surely kosher they say “what can be inside already thats not kosher”…whereas frum ortodox people would never do things like this. I have seen this so many times here where i live.December 1, 2011 9:02 am at 9:02 am in reply to: It's time for the Imas to save our children from the Nile again. #831468
yita so please explain how the rabbonim that you know took care about this.November 30, 2011 1:57 pm at 1:57 pm in reply to: It's time for the Imas to save our children from the Nile again. #831453
i dont get u guys. This is about child abuse here. wanderingchana started it so i dont see whats to hak on aries now.November 30, 2011 8:17 am at 8:17 am in reply to: It's time for the Imas to save our children from the Nile again. #831449
i cant believe what this guy told u aries!!!!!!its not part of growing up and its not part of anything bichlal. we had this talk about going to the rabbonim(rav zwiebel from aguda(radio show just after leiby kletzky was found)and the opinions were very diffrent. wanderingchana made it very clear what she would do kudos to her and all the alike because they are doing the right thing in my eyes.
though taut akum is not considered theft but a kiddush hashem its certainly if the money is returned plus its 10yeme tshuva so that makes a good impression up there
Sometimes going on the porch and smoke is enoughAugust 14, 2011 7:05 am at 7:05 am in reply to: First and second generation of holocaust survivours #797422
Don’t get me wrong I’m not blaming them for the hardship I had. Its just the way it happend. Btw my father is a wise guy. He had a factory for jewelry and ppl used to come get his advice etc. He also was the menahel of our talmud tora for many years. When my kids were younger I only then realized the impact it had that 6million jews were killed and most of my family too. My kids know a lot about holocaust(age 10 and 9 third one too small)things the other kids have no clue aboutAugust 14, 2011 6:47 am at 6:47 am in reply to: First and second generation of holocaust survivours #797421
Ima that’s the thing: we could do whatever we wanted. I had no responsibilities to take. Noone cared. I needed money asked for it and got it. My father was 14-15 in the holocaust. I guess those and the life afterwards were crucial in being educated in proper way. The only thing I can remember now is he didn’t let us go to bnei akiva because of the girls. I went through a lot as teenager and had noone I could turn to because there was no true emotional relationship. Shiduchim was a biiiig problem. Noone could handle it bh I am a aba of three and married for many years but that came the hard way on cost of emotional stability.August 13, 2011 8:46 pm at 8:46 pm in reply to: First and second generation of holocaust survivours #797419
gut voch to all. . i never compared because that wouldnt bring me anything. my upbringing i cant change i can only try to work on the things that i was affected of and try to do it diffrently. for example since my parents didnt care about how i am doing in school so im trying to be diffrent to show my kids that i care(maybe i also overdo it…) another thing is how to deal with financial issues. i was never taught how to take care of money as my father gave us everything. but i got married and things had to change and that was and still is difficult.
aries i experienced that total opposite of how your mother dealt with it. i call it aushwitz syndrom. as if they are still on the train there because alot of times my father gave over the message that there is nothing that we can do about when it came to certain things. just like on the train there they couldnt do a thing. again i dont judge. if not for sending me to israel age 14 i probably would never be able to somehow become a mentsh(and i am still far from being perfect)
and how we take out the garbage!!!! if a guy tells me hes not hes a lier…what i cant comprehend from all the debate is why have guys the “upper hand” in shiduchim? i dont have kids in shidduchim age biggest one is 10 bh and im not up to date whats going on?
adorable you wrote in that very thread that u googled him up etc…and it was a one day thing or so dont worry i promise you noone thinks bad about u
observant you may laugh at me but such a letter or a person telling me this was what i needed but didnt have…only my diary…its wonderful written and one can see you know what youre talking about and that you care
im having a problem to understand whats going on with shiduchim nowadays. haifa says men say no. why is that??? i know its the wrong thread maybe i should open new one. haifa why on earth wouldnt they want u???August 11, 2011 7:31 am at 7:31 am in reply to: First and second generation of holocaust survivours #797407
cv i never judged my father. he told me stories he went thru when i was still a child and i understood then that hes diffrent than the fathers of my friends. i just came here to speak about it. one of the points that disturbed me most is that he(together with my mother)were not able to educate us. i was sent to a yeshive high school in israel when i was 14 and sadly they were hardly intrested in what i do what marks i have etc…but i learnt bitochen and emune from him. And my father is always besimche. Thats amazing. The sense for family was always missing(i came across it only after i got married as in my wifes family this sense is soooo present)my niece got engaged just last week and my father wouldnt call his friends about it i had to force him….but for example he loves his grandchildren extraordinary at least i can be sure for the ones that live here in same town. when i think about the horrors he went thru and that he lost his family besides his father i cant imagine how i would survive this
i wanna make one point clear: i am very close to him probably closer than my siblings are.
aries i read your comment carefully and am aware of some things we did and do wrong at home. 2 of my boys are 9 and 10 do you think its too late for really seriously implementing the “not too much choice standing firm” program? one of the biggest challenges is that both of them a very picky eaters. cookin for them is a desaster. i have no clue how to make them want to even taste something new or do we have to cook almost everyday the same?? bh other things got much better with time…btw satmar lady i laughed tons but also pitty you. its hard very hard and one has to be sooooo clever and have tremendous siyate deshmaye raising kids…hashem should give all of us koiech and brains to do it right.
i used to write a diary when i was around 22-23 because i couldnt talk to anyone about the things that happend to me at that time. i wasnt carefull enough and it got into the wrong hands and caused alot of troubles…i did write alot since then too but no diary really just thoughts but erased everything after some time…the thing is that i still have some stuff i wrote long ago and realized i write the same style, language(mix of a few)and also some thoughts have not changed
as someone not from usa we miss the action when were asleep…and in the morning we need to catch up…