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Non-buttered popcorn is extremely healthy, nothing like the empty calories of soda. It is VERY low in calories and has a lot of fiber. Air-popped is even better.
Anyone have a gluten free challah recipe?
Of course couples who can fulfill the mitzva should, I am just wondering to what extent it is necessary to fulfill the actual mitzva of pru u’rvu, or to help others fulfill it with public funds, when it is not in a couples natural capability. “
When you help someone fulfill a mitzvah, do you not reap the reward of knowing that your efforts resulted in the greater good? This would literally be a case of mitzvah goreres mitzvah, (loosely: one good turn deserves another). By giving tzedaka, your mitzvah could result in someone else’s mitzvha of pru urvu, and you have a chelek in it. Just as contributing to a Yeshivah gives you a chelek in the learning done by the talmidim. Only this is even more meaningful, because you are potentially helping to bring a new life into the world, which will hopefully be steeped in Torah.
Thanks for the Mussar, oomis! “
You are certainly welcome, though it was not my intention to give anyone mussar.
ANd did not Babe Ruth say, “It ain’t over ’til it’s over…?”
Or leave out the can from which you poured the coconut milk.
This is a great thread. it has actually jump-started a flood of memories for me. I am re-thinking my “worst” memory, and want to amend it. The really worst memory I have is when I was accused of cheating on a Navi test in 7th grade, by my very beloved principal, who taught us for that one class that year. I really looked up to this man, both as a menahel and as a wonderful teacher. Having him accuse me hurt to the core, not just because I was such a goody-two shoes that the thought of cheating would not have entered my mind, much less actually cheating, but also because of who it was who was accusing me and showing how disappointed he was in me.
I did not cheat. A girl who sat near me (and I cannot fathom she could possibly have seen my paper, we were nto THAT close by each other) and I had both gotten the same wrong answer on the test. Both she and I were excellent students, but somehow we had come to the same conclusion on that specific question, and it was the wrong one. But it was not an “out there” kind of answer, so to this day I don’t get why he jumped to such a conclusion. The way I felt that day, was the worst thing that ever happened to me. I spoke to the assistant principal about it for advice, and he said he would talk to the principal. I was all of 12 years old. Thankfully, the principal reversed his original stance, and gave me the mark I deserved on the test. It was my only wrong answer, out of thirty questions, but he had been prepared to give me an F.
I know the other girl got many more questions wrong, but I think he didn’t fail her, either.
It turned out that after class the day I was thrown out, the boy sitting next to me went to the “Rebbe” and admitted that he had been talking, not me. So why was I outside? Because I told the Rebbe I hadn’t been talking, and he felt that was chutzpa, to contradict him in front of the class.”
Feif Un, that similar scenarioo happened to my son in 5th grade (almost put him off love of learning, btw). He was thrown out of class for talking during davening. Anyone who knows my son at all, knows that davening is of extreme chashivus to him, so much so, that he NEVER talked during tefila. The boy in back of him was nudging him, and he turned back to motion (not even say) “SHAH!” That’s what the rebbie saw. He would not even allow my son to explain that he was not doing anything wrong. L’hefech!
Even when the boy who WAS talking and bothering him IMMEDIATELY stepped up and admitted my son had done no wrong and it was entirely his fault, the rebbie still threw my son out (not the other boy, who btw is a wonderful young man), and called my husband and me in to see him the next day.
We are not the type of parents who always think their precious yingeleh is perfect, so we asked our son what happened, and got his side of the story. When we saw the rebbie the next day, we reserved judgment until after he told us his version of the events. We were non-confrontational, but asked him if it was true that the other boy confessed. he looked confused for a moment then mumbled something or other. I asked him if he had ever noted my son doing anything other than davening while davening (the school year was almost over, btw). He admitted he had not. I asked him if my son had ever given him any reason that entire year, to think he was not machshiv his davening. He said he had not. I asked him if he was aware of how important davening is to our son? I further asked him if he believed that throwing my son out of class for almost two days without benefit of hearing his side, or seriously listening to exculpatory evidence, in any way made him a better Yeshivah bochur. He had the grace to admit he had been wrong. I told him that he needs to believe us when we tell him that we would not countenance any misbehavior, especially during davening, but that he also needs to believe my son when he says that he does not talk during davening. Especially when the guilty party comes forward.
My son never enjoyed fifth grade Limudei Kodesh much. If he were a different type of boy, this could have chalilah given him a really sour taste at a most crucial stage in his development. B”H he knew we supported him fully, but he also knew that if and when he ever DID do something he shouldn’t, we would have a very different approach. Thankfully, that has not happened too often.
This entire thread stinks.
Oomis,
Would raising children as if they were ones own not fulfill the mitzva of having children if it is clear that one cannot conceive naturally? (and that means without fertility treatments)
Must a child be born from ones own body for it to be considered ones own? “
You are asking two separate and very disparate questions. I will deal with the second one first. OF COURSE a child who is adopted and loved by a non-biological parent, is that person’s child. There are parents by nature and there are also parents solely by nurture, and they are every bit as choshuv as the other.
If the mitzvah of pru urvu which is incumbent on all men, is met by raising adopted children, then I defer to your greater knowledge. But my logic (and yes, it may be faulty and also ignorant of the halacha)tells me that just as a Yisroel cannot be a Kohein, no matter how much he wants to be a Kohein, no matter how truly ehrliche and sincere he is in his avodas Hashem, he nonetheless cannot fulfill the mitzvos of a Kohein unless he in fact is a Kohein.
If a man has not sired children, he has not been fruitful and multiplied. He may have a host of other mitzvos and earn incredible s’char mitzvah in raising a child he did not sire, but he and his wife have noentheless not brought children into the world, and there is a sadness in that. I think adoptive parents are awesome baalei chessed. But I doubt that any one of them would not do just about anything to be able to give birth to a healthy child.
K’shmo, the fact that there are parentless children, does not mitigate the pain of people who desperately want to have children from their own bodies. A woman, in paerticular goes through a terrible nisayon when she has trouble in conceiving. You have no idea what it msut be like for her to go through month after month of Mikvah attendance, with the knowledge that she is infertile.
Yes, you are right, there are many kids who could benefit from loving homes, and I urge people who know they definitely CANNOT have children with their DNA (or those who have borne children but want to adopt), to offer loving homes to those kids. The mitzvah of pru urvu is still incumbent on us, and we should help people to be mekayeim it when we can.
Shaatnez makes sense.
So many… My both worst AND best memory was having my tonsils out when I was 6. I am sure to this day that I was not fully asleep during the surgery, as I vividly recall feeling sharp pain BEFORE I was back in my room. I also woke up from the surgery a full hour before they expected me to. My parents were not even there, because they had been told to go get something to eat, once they knew I was out of surgery, that it would be an hour or two before I was conscious. They were mistaken. But on the plus side, My uncle came by with a “little dixie cup” for me (read: half a gallon of ice cream). 🙂
My first “best memory” was being a 2nd grader at Crown heights Yeshivah, and saying the Mah Nishtana in Yiddish for my teacher and having him smile broadly and give me a box of dominoes for a prize. He was a tough cookie most of the time, but he always liked me. My second “best memory” was being chosen to represent the school in the Chidon Tanach in Manhattan, when I was much older. I didn’t win, but I had a wonderful time.
My worst school memory was when graduating from junior high (not Crown Heights, as we had moved to another neighborhood)and I was told by my teacher that I was selected by the faculty to be the Class Valedictorian. Then, all of a sudden, the daughter of a choshuveh rabbi affiliated with the yeshivah was announced as having been “picked out of a hat” (supposedly my name, hers, and one other student’s were put in the hat) and she won the Valedictory award. My teacher took me aside and felt compelled to apologize to me, because he was shocked that it ended happening this way, as the teachers had already made their decision and notified my parents. In retrospect, though I felt bad and was not even made Salutatorian, I guess I am pretty lucky if that is my worst memory. Other kids lost a parent or became ill, lo aleinu. On balance, life is pretty good to me.
I am with Basya’s dad, philosophically. However, if that hinders her ability to have shadchanim redt to her, then he needs to be realistic and protest on his one cheshbon, not on hers. I nonetheless AGREE with him completely. But when in Rome…
Just stop calling it a resume. Call it basic info. It is NOT a job search, and I hate that the entire process has been reduced to a business transaction.
If she is in Yichud and comes to realize it?
The Goq – oy! I am so sorry. You made some very poignant observations.
one of my professors used to not give 100s and said the reason is because only G-D is perfect “
I HATED that guy! Only Hashem is perfect – true. But getting 100% on a test on which you did not answer even one question incorrectly, only makes your PAPER perfect, not you. So, teachers, get over yourselves, give credit where it is due, and save the mussar schmooze for when you are NOT giving tests.
I did not think he was considered an A”Z. Christianity per se is not A”Z. Catholicism, might be, as they worship a trinity. Is all Christianity under the umbrella of A”Z? And if we call him by another name, then that has become his name, as far as we are concerned. We do pronounce the names of various idols that were worshipped, when reading of them in Tanach, so where does this halacha come into application?
Librarian
Actuary
Math teacher
Pharmacist (I know you said no to the medical field, but Pharmacy uses a lot of math)
Hatzlacha rabbah.
By date three, you should have a basic idea of the other person’s general hashkafa. You bring up topics of current interest, (i.e., to see if he/she watches TV, ask if they saw the Republican debates, who their favorite newscaster is, etc.). If they answer they don’t own a TV or they get their news from the radio or newspaper, that should give you some idea. Truthfully, if you are not comfortable bringing these issues up at this point, you have to ask yourself if this is going anywhere. Just have a normal conversation. And LISTEN.
what does it involve?
BEFORE the first date, would be a good idea IMO.
I think that calling him yoshkeh lends a level of chashivus to his name, that should not be given. We do not say HASHEM’S name. Jesus was not a Divinity, and his name should be treated accordingly.
A hat is a indication of ones madreiga in as much as wearing a yarmulka is. “
AIn’t necessarily so. Sometimes it is indicative of what one WANTS others to think about his madreiga. I know guys who wear the black hat, because their parents think they won’t get good shidduchim otherwise.
Much of what we call “good manners” is simply a matter ofcommonsense and menschlechkeit. If abunch of people of walking in a row, hogging up space, they should realize that they need to momentarily “single file” it for the oncoming pedestrian. Otherwise, they are just bulvanim.
What about walking past a house with motion sensors, that turn lights on when you pass by?
I think a dove and a lamb. I need two.
DY – I know that from the standpoint of the product it is still milchig (assuming they did not change the formula at all, but only the equipment on which it is processed). BUT – I asked a shailah and my rov paskened we could not bake for fleishigs with it, i.e. put it in cookies being served at a Shabbos meal on the same table where there are meat dishes though we COULD serve it immediately after the meal with no waiting time.
The shame is that TJ chocolate chips are superior in taste to the others. I used to use Nestles until they became milchig, then went to Paszkes, Bloom’s, and whatever the Jewish brands are. But when my granddaughter became allergic to nuts, her doctor (a frum guy) advised us that in his vast experience, the Jewish-owned companies were not absolutely honorable in their ingredient listings, and chidlren who were allergic to peanuts or other traces of nuts, were having anaphylactic reactions (one near-fatality) to an item that had no listing of nuts or production in a nut-processing facility in its ingredients. So he believes that it is better not to trust those companies. the kosher, secular companies like Nabisco, have a safer track record. Only issue is dairy versus pareve, as most of their products are dairy. it ain’t easy.
What I don’t get is how these companies cut their noses off by turning away lactose intolerant or allergic customers. That has nothing to do with kashrus, and one would think that would matter to them, if the Oerthodox consumer does not.
I am always surprised when I read a post such as yours. I don’t believe you personally have to contribute to someone else’s (R”L) painful, uncomfortable, frustrating, and often disappointing fertility treatments, so that they may be makeyim the mitzvah of pru urvu, but do you REALLY want to suggest that it is not an act of chessed to have an organization help raise funds to help someone else in this sad situation? If you feel this is not a worthy tzedaka (as with ANY tzedaka towards which you feel negativity), then by all means do not contribute. I have five children bli ayin hara (with no difficulty conceiving them, B”H), and I am very privileged to take up the slack for your share of the tzedaka.
May Hashem protect you and all your family members from ever knowing such tzaar as the inability to have children.
A hat is a covering for the head. A Sefer is a SEFER. I would never put an article of clothing on top of a Sefer. Exception might be my husband’s Tallis (not suer if that is permitted however), but I would reason out that it has its own kedusha from the tzitziyos. Hats are not kadosh.
Too soon to tell. My son wanted to go on the show and sing a medley of Yossele Rosenblatt pieces. That’s not exactly what this kid was singing. But if he is a mensch and comports himself as a fine young man, it could turn out to be a K”H, I suppose.
Outraged? What did they do wrong? Disappointed, I could understand. “
“Outraged” (kinda tongue in cheek), because the Orthodox Jewish community where I live, has reelied on TJ products and fully supports them. It’s a potch in panim to arbitrarily make such a decision.
It’s kind of how I felt when Duncan Hines went milchig for a while. I sent them e-mails and made calls to complain on the basis of the fact that I would never buy their products again if they were produced on DE, because it would be of no value to me, as I only baked with their mixes for fleishig meals, on the occasions that I needed to use a mix rather than bake totally from scratch. I further pointed out that not only would they be losing money from all the kosher-keeping Jews who felt as I do, but also from the general public, Jew and non-Jew alike, who are lactose intolerant or allergic. Money talks apparently, and DH wisely went back to OU Pareve after a short while and a loss of lots of gelt.
Forget about chips that actually say SOUR CREAM on the label; you would have to be from another planet not to know this is DAIRY. I am more outraged that Trader Joe’s is now making their delicious pareve, and allergy-safe (for my granddaughter, who cannot have even traces of nuts) chocolate chips, MILCHIG or produced on milchig equipment. We cannot the Jewish-owned companies’ chips in baking for her, because they are not reliable regarding the exposure to traces of nuts, and are labeled inaccurately.
oomis, purrfict”
SayIdidit – are we being catty? 😉
If you use the coffe filter on your eyes, please remember to take it off before trying to make coffee…
Why are we saying the CR might close? Did I miss something?
It ALMOST works to the grahmen tune… (nice job).
Lakol z’man va-eis. You cannot do everything at once and give each thing the proper attention it deserves. You are young. Learn and get firmly entrenched and ensconced in Torah (Semicha is pretty ambitious for a newly-frum person, it takes years for most guys who are FFB, and it is not necessary at this point in your life when there are so many things you want to accomplish at the same time), get your degree, find the right girl and grow in Torah together. Then, if you still feel the desire and need, go for Semicha. I am not sure about the correspondence program…
I do not accept or believe there is spiritual growth simply because one wears a black hat. To say that is to imply that those who do not wear a black hat, do NOT have spiritual growth. It is PRECISELY that elitist and non-inclusive thinking that bothers me so much. Plenty of guys do not wear hats at all, and are spiritually deeply connected to learning and living Torah.
Blackhatwannabe – Mazel tov on ALL your spiritual growth, however it manifests itself. If you b’davka want to manifest it in a concrete way by wearing a black hat, kol hakavod.Just make sure that what is INSIDE your head matches the symbol of what is ON your head, and that will be the spiritual growth that you seek.
I ahve heqard of beating a recalcitrant husband until he says he wants to give the divorce. When I questioned the validity of such an obvious “forcing” of the issue, I was told, they are not beating him to force him to give a GET; they are beating the rishus of the yetzer hara out of him.
No problem whatsoever. I always wore rings on whichever hand was more comfortable when I was single. When I got married, my wedding band replaced the engagement ring, and the engagement ring goes on the right hand now (when I decide to wear it). Only a diamond is assumed to be an engagement ring on the left hand. Though technically someone might choose to wear another type of ring to mark the engagement (a la Princess Di’s emerald), most often it is a diamond and anything else is thought to be just a decorative ring.
With a lug-wrench. Sometimes a spray of “liquid wrench” will help loosen the lug-nuts.
I think it is appalling, when there are so many more serious health issues, that the gov’t is trying to police soda drinking habits. They are infantilizing this nation more and mroe every day, and it is a way of controlling us. I personally do NOT drink sugary drinks and have not for over 20 years. But I do not want anyone telling me whether or not I can drink a specified amount.
For all they know, I am buying the Big Gulp because it is cheaper that way, and then portioning it out to all my family members in smaller cups (actually I don’t, because I think those drinks are disgusting and of no value unless soemone is having a hypoglycemic attack, but it is still the principle of the thing).
Gov’t get out of my kitchen,and do not tell me what to feed my family. I have battled my weight over the years and NEVER drank that junk. Anything consumed in excess will cause obesity. What’s next, telling us salt cannot be sold or used inr estaurants, because too many people have high blood pressure? Maybe meat should not be allowed to be served, as so many people have cholesterol problems. Maybe certain medications should be secretly added to processed foods, to counteract the effects of those foods on our bodies. (Are they doing that already???) Heaven help us.
The invitation was in the mail, with a separate card for the chuppah and a separate one for the simchas chosson v’kallah, with no reply card for dinner. The chuppah was at 7 and the simcha dancing was at 10. What was I supposed to do in the interim, go home and come back? I would rather invite the entire world to a cake and soda reception, than do that to a close friend. I am moichel them (and they had been to all my simchas), but it was not pleasant to have this happen – especially when the wedding was made at a country club.
Mommamia, he doesn’t have to wait for ALL those things, but some of them will have to happen before most frum girls would take him seriously as a potential shidduch. I think it is slightly unrealistic to tell someone not to wait, when those things, within a relatively short time, will not be a negative factor in his attaining his desired goals. A frum girl will want to be sure he has not “flipped in and will flip out” of being frum. A frum girl will want to be certain he knows what he wants and is realistic in how he goes about achieving those ends. Msot of all, a frum girl will want to be sure he (and she) knows what he is accepting upon himself. Getting his degree, earning a parnassah, and all the while learning Torah, will show that he is serious.
Beethoven was not tone deaf, he became completely deaf. He could hear the music in his head, however,and that is not the same as genuine tone deafness. My husband is tone deaf. He cannot sing to save his life. But he can appreciate beautiful music. I doubt he could ever write beautiful music, though.
I don’t believe ANYBODY can compose a song. i think anybody has it within himself/herself to find things that inspire them. But you still need the basic talent and ability. If it were not necessary, there would be no great composers. We could all just do it (like Nike). I think most people, given the right material, could probably come up with some lyrics, though. Music, is a different kettle of fish. You need the ear, even if it is just inside your head.
“R’l! First, “just meeting” is the way of animals and goyim. Animals are okay with it but the goyim have used it to turn their society into a wasteland, Hashem spare us. Second, carefully researched shidduchim are as old as the Avos, do our children have better judgment “just meeting” than Avrohom Avinu did?”
That first sentence is a little harsh, and a bit hysterical, as well. Many non-Jews meet through introductions (on-line matchmaking) today. They have a wasteland, because that is how many choose to live. They did the same thing when they were introduced solely by marchmakers, or to people whom their parents picked out for them.
Shidduchim had to be researched by the Avos (and it really was ONLY Avraham Avinu anyway)because kids had no say in ANYTHING. Fathers basically arranged their children’s marriages. Like it or not. Our children WOULD have better judgment, were they allowed to grow up and act like the adults they purport to be.
Most kids today are PLAYING at getting married. They have little or no real concept of what marriage really entails, the give and take, the need to be flexible and roll with the punches, the need to do without when you cannot afford something. They buy into the glamour of the “idea” of marriage, when all they are really doing is playing house (something they should have done when they were toddlers and still knew it was all pretend).
Other kids are a little more mature and do have better judgment than one would think. They have a value system that is way more shayach than what kind of tablecloth their mother uses, or whether or not the kallah got the right size engagement ring. Getting married is for the purpose of building a bayis ne’eman b’Yisroel, and not to show off what kind of shower presents the kallah got, if she got pearls in the yichud room, and if her chosson is the “best boy” in the yeshivah.
Moshe Rabbeinu met his wife at the well, so did Yaakov Avinu. I don’t hear anyone criticizing them for not going through a shadchan, or chalilah comparing them to those whom you mentioned in your first sentence.
Never put down duct tape, people. It saved my pipe that burst erev yom tov.
Nechomah, I WAS invited to the chuppah AND the dancing. And I was an old friend. It was not comfortable to be put in this category, and felt insulting.