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“Which all leads to the serious thought if divorcing was worth in in the first place. Or if, perhaps, the better alternative would have been to live with whatever issues or problems existed in ones first marriage, rather than throw the dice into the unknown abyss.”
And it is even harder for the divorcee, because she loses an entire subset of eligible men – Kohanim. Which is why, BTW, when my friend’s ex-husband refused to give her a GET for well over a decade, though he was a known wife abuser, her rabbonim notified her ex that on such and such a day the entire kehillah was getting together to say Tehillim and daven for her to be kosher to marry a Kohein. She had the GET almost immediately thereafter.
The better alternative to divorce IMO, is not to get married too quickly without really knowing someone a great deal better than most couples do nowadays. And though dating for a longer period of time is no guarantee of compatibility, it nonetheless helps to underscore certain character issues that often do not reveal themselves in the first few weeks of a budding relationship, the “honeymoon” phase of dating. It really is only when someone lets his/her guard down, that certain personality issues become more evident. I don’t think couples should shlep around either, for long periods of time, but I have seen too many 5-week wonders that culminated in divorce within the first year (some within the first 3 months).
It is for this reason that I have always maintained that one can disagree without being disagreeable. Some people find that to be a bigger challenge than others do.
Wearing a white shirt does not make one a better person. Wearing a blue (or any other color) shirt does not make one a better person. Dressing respectfully, ACTING respectfully, showing respect for others and for oneself, THOSE are some of the things that make one a better person.
From what I have heard, not all brands of Quinoa are considered suitable for Pesach (possibly because of their being grown in proximity to wheat fields, or something like that). So if your Rov holds that you may eat it, you need to be certain that the specific brand you use IS 100% reliable for Pesach use.
Until all the nosh is gone, gone, gone, I will have the yetzer hara around me. Do we gain weight and get high sugar from things we eat on Shabbos? (There oughta be a law!!!!)
TBB, ditto to what blinky posted. Shabbat Shalom.
Back off a little, then write her (NOT E-MAIL, NOT TEXT MESSAGE) her a friendly note. Tell her that you want to get to know her better, and that you sense she feels you are rushing things too much, so you want to ease up a little, if that’s the case. Ask her how she feels about that, or if you are mistaken. Either way, she will tell you how she wants to proceed, if in fact she wants to proceed in the relationship. JMO.
I am having a really bad time trying to avoid the sugar and starch (and failing miserably). Back on track tomorrow morning.
Popa you get the Purple Heart (or is that the Techeilis Heart?)for bravery above and beyond…
So what if it does?’
My point was, that if you are still permitted to pour water from the kettle, in spite of the fact that doing so will cause the lesser amount of water in the kettle to heat up even more (because there is now less water but the same amount of heat on the blech), how would that concept be any different from causing more electrical power usage by additional weight in the elevator (though in the opposite way, being that in the case of the water, the lesser weight/volume causes increased energy, and in the case of the elevator, ADDED weight causes increased power usage – still a shift in weight causes power consumption to increase in both cases)?
As a parent, I think that part of the issue is that your mom is having a tough time realizing that you no longer need her in the same way you once did. You should try to aim for special mom and me time and talk to her about these feelings, and let her no she will ALWAYS be your mom and you will ALWAYS need her, no matter how independent you will be. I wonder where your father fits in in all this? Does he feel the same as she does? If so, maybe re-examine your own actions to makes sure you are not inadvertently doing something to make them feel alienated from you. Kids are notorious for this, and often have no clue that their actions are conveying a negative feeling of distancing, rather than the positive aspect of “using your wings to fly.” As long as you let your parents know (often) how mucht hey are loved, and actually prioritize spending real quality time with each and both of them, you will send a message of love and loyalty to them.
And the poor child is nebbich, the victim in all this…
I get my kitchen turned over about a week before Pesach (I know there are many who do even far more in advance). But the truth is I still like FRESH food made shortly before Pesach, so the important stuff is done the day or so at most, before. I might bake and freeze during that week. Mostly, I just want my kitchen set up, so it’s not a balagan when I AM ready to actually cook.
Also, once I get things clean, I only keep Pesach-friendly nosh around, so even if there is a mess, it is not chometzdig.
And a meaningful one, as well, with special kavana in our tefilos to be said for the Gedolim who are ill.
If you won’t use the elevator because your weight increases electricity usage,then you shouldn’t use air.conditioning. . More people in room forces the compressor on
“
True dat. And opening a fridge can cause the compressor to turn, as well.
My teacher gave out such a quiz one year. We were told to follow the direction. The questions themselves were not only complicated as all get out, but a REAL physical tircha. If, however we read the directions thoroughly, they stated, “Sign your name at the top of the sheet and disregard the rest.Hand in the paper.” NOT a single one of us got it right. But you could hear the groans as we tried to actually do the things that the test questions listed.
Assuming you are allowed to use a shabbos elevator would you also be allowed to walk into a regular elevator on shabbos and just let it go to whatever floor the other people inside are heading?”
Good question. We were taught that on Shabbos, if we needed to visit someone in the local hospital, to wait for an obvious non-Jew to walk through the electric doors and quickly follow that person in. But nonetheless, the doors are remaining open longer because we walk through them, even if initially they were opened by someone else.
Mazel TOV. I”YH by all the singles!!!!
“oomis1105 – Pretty close, p’sik reishe is an inevitable side effect. A regular, possible, unintentional side effect that is not inevitable is called a davar she-eino miskavein”
Thanks for the clarification. Mekol melamdai hiskalti.
I personally do not feel comfortable witht he idea of using a Shabbos elevator (just not shabbosdig to me), but especially when people have difficulty with walking up steep flights of stairs (i.e, elderly, people with leg or back injuries, people visiting someone on the 10th floor of a hospital – with double flights of steps per floor), it is a benefit to them to have the heter to be able to use this. I know that in the local hospital and the Jewish nursing home, there are Shabbos elevators (so marked), with the posting that the elevator will automatically stop at every floor (so do not push the buttons). I am certain the VAAD in my neighborhood would not allow this if it were l’chatchilah assur, and if all major poskim assered it. But even if muttar, I prefer not to.
If anyone said this already (inlcuding me, ebcause I am having a senior moment and cannot find the remark), is it not curious that someone who made the claim that chassidic girls only have a fourth grade reading level (she did write that, didn’t she?), was not only able to write and publish this work of possible fiction that passes for truth, but was accepted into a prestigious women’s college? How many fourth grade girls do we know in college these days, or guesting on The View?
Sushe, that’s not what many poskim say. Your weight being in or not in the elevator does not cause it to go or stop, as it stops at every floor. Your intention is not to cause more electricity to be used, it is just a possible unintentional side effect (is that what we call a p’sik reisha, btw?). When you pour water into a cup from a kettle that has been on the blech, does the water that remains in the kettle not heat up even more (because there is less volume in the kettle now)? But you would not say that is assur to make a cup of hot tea on Shabbos,would you?
The rest of them are what they are. But oomis, you’re a veteran of the coffee room. Don’t you know Popa yet?”
I was being dan l’cuff shtuss…
A husband SHOULD call his wife “dear.” It sends a clear message of shalom bayis to the children, and trains them for proper derech eretz and hakoras hatov to one’s spouse. Likewise, the wife should thus address her husband. Are we going so out there, in our zeal to be tzniusdig, that we cannot be verbally and harmlessly affectionate anymore, lest we be thought improper? Do parents who no doubt are used to calling their kids honey, dear, sweetheart, etc. have the kids find it odd if those parents call each other the same things?
Do you mind if I post about this here?
The Westing Game was an excellent novel for teens. I read it myself. it had a real Agatha Christie feel to it. Speaking of AC, And Then There Were None (AKA Ten Little Indians) was a great story.
Folks, think about the Carlebach reference.”
Pops, that’s what made me initially think you wuz funnin’ with us. But, ya know what – I would not be a bit surprised to hear that some irresponsible and immature guy (or girl, for that matter) would do this.
I am not crazy about FB at all, except when family pics are posted. I think there is too much information (and much of it is nonsense) that is being posted. (Do people REALLY care that you are eating a sandwich without mayo today?????)
As for texting, there are pros and cons to this. For people on the go, it can be a valuable tool to get a message to someone without having to spend time they might not otherwise have, on the phone. OTOH, people are so used to texting,that having a real and meaningful conversation is rapidly becoming a lost art, and I think that is very sad, and potentially extremely detrimental to ANY relationship, much less that of a couple.
No one needs to lighten up. Assuming this is true and not a Purim Shpiel, it is reprehensible (and if you were one of the girls whose personal info was posted without her permission, you would feel that way, too, especially if you were voted Off the Island by his immature friends). If it IS a joke, then hahaha, we fell for it. Happy Purim :p
I may be an old fogey, but IMHO that is not a proper thing to do. Who is to say these girls would WANT their personal info plastered all over the Internet? It is extremely disrespectful to have strangers voting on your date-worthiness, also. The whole thing smacks of a lack of tznius and honor. Personal profiles, are just that – personal. They are given to the person for whom it is shayach, and not meant to be the subject of a public social network’s popularity contest that any and all can participate in.
Hi Best Bubby. Is Hashgocha Protis not amazing???????
Very many people give a bracha when someone gives them tzedaka. I say that we can never tell which bracha from which person will be the one Hashem most accepts on our behalf. Never pass up the chance to receive a bracha from someone. JMO.
Seek a second and even third opinion. If they all concur, get it out. While the body does need a gall bladder (just as we really DO need our tonsils), one can live without it. If all it does is make you sick, listen to the medical wisdom.
They pray more often, not more.
Absolutely not. They should not be allowed inside the main shul unless they are davening. They SHOULD be allowed to ask people who are exiting Shul, for tzedaka.
I am equally upset by people who disturb the guests at a simcha, especially during a chuppah. I would rather the baalei simcha (myself included) would have arrangements with the caterer to give X amount of dollars out for tzedaka and charge me for it, but not allow people to come into the simcha and disturb the guests.
p’tcha.
Oh, you were being serious (I mean, it IS Purim tzeit!)
Nitpicker, the idea behind the ability of the body to ehal itself when aligned properly is not unique to chiropractic. Asian medicine believes this as well, as do many other alternative medical ideologies. It is not farfetched that if for example, you have a nerve pressing on something causing numbness and pain, that manipulating the spine in such a way as to cause the nerve to stop pressing in that manner, will resolve the problem. it’s that same idea. Not everything can be healed in this manner, but certain types of chronic pain can be alleviated and/or eliminated through chiropractic care.
The Best Bubby – Thank you very much. yasher koach.
Chiropractic can be a MOST effective process for pain management and even elimination of it. The charge is fair, and people with insurance will pay only a co-pay. Not all insurance covers chiro care, and more is the pity, because it is far less costly in the long run than continuous orthopedic visits and buying pain meds, both of which may not address the real problem.
As with ANY medical circumstance, make sure your doctor is GOOD. There are ineffective medical docs, and there are chirpractors who are better and those who are worse, also – good and bad in all professions. You cannot ask us and expect and informed answer, about that boy’s situation, as none of us knows what his neck and back problems are. Chiropractic DOES re-align bones that are out of alignment, when it is possible to do so. The pain relief is often IMMEDIATE. But if someone for example, has a situation that requires surgical intervention, it still will require surgical intervention, chiro care notwithstanding. Chiropractic can help many situations, but just as an MD cannot cure everything, neither can any practicioner in alternative fields.
I just sent the fax, and it seems to have gone through. Many thanks again, for your chessed.
Thanks for all the information. Yasher koach.
44 208 808 9789
Thank you for the information. Can I fax this from my home fax machine? I assume this is an international number — are there any special considerations for sending auch a fax (never did this before, so pardon my ignorance)? May you have much nachas from your family, and eb zochah to do many many more mitzvos.
Whatever it is, the lesson learned is that sinas chinam is hurtful to the hater, the hatee, and all the people who are collateral damage as a result. Let’s try some ahavas chinam for a change.
They were ALL at fault, including the missing Kamtza who was supposed to be invited. As soon as he realized his son was invited to HIS friend’s home, where his son was NOT a friend, he should have realized that a) a mistake was made or b) maybe the friends was extending an olive branch to the son. In either case, he should have stepped in to ensure that nothing untoward would happen to cause a blowup. Just my opinion.
Bar Kamtza was guilty of being a malshin, the host was guilty of being incredibly ungracious and publicly humiliating a fellow Jew (who was already begging to pay for the entire party, if only he could stay and not be embarrassed), the servant was guilty of…carelessness, and the rabbonim and choshuveh people who witnessed the entire preceeedings and did not take the host aside and give him mussar or calm him down, were the guiltiest of all, ebcause they are supposed to be the role models and the leaders of Klal Yisroel. A host who loses his temper, might do so because his emnotions take over and he does not think clearly (that does not make his actions right, but it explains his response). But a Rov who sees an avla committed, or better yet, ANY Jew who sees someone being treated this way, has an obligation to step in and at least TRY to turn things around and possibly even to make sholom between the two men.
Mods, could you be kind enough to e-mail me The Best Bubby’s contact info, so I can e-mail her? Thank you ind avance. Good Chodesh and Shabbat Shalom. (Thank you, TBB).
Between YU and Fordham- Is there any difference as far as academia, reputation or CLINICAL work?
I just asked him and my son says that in his opinion of the two, Fordham is a generally better program, while Wurzweiler is an easier one.
The Best Bubby – best reply to a post, EVER! (Thank you). I saw this post too late to pass along the information to you, but I sincerely thank you for your good intentions (machshava k’maiseh, after all). If the mods will tell me how to privately
e-mail them (or you, directly)with the information you requested from me, I will be most appreciative of your tefilos, and will send you the names. But even if not, that was very kind of you to offer.