walton157

@yid.period: Thanks.

@ZosHaTorah: If anyone asks, just tell them that you and your wife are vacationing in that wonderful land just over the East River.

I once heard a man say: Happy Wife. Happy Life.

Also, thank you for shopping Brooklyn. Please come again. 🙂

These young men are students at Yeshiva University which is not

“yeshivish”. It is a modern orthodox institution of higher learning. The whole world is not “yeshivish, or chasidishe, or any one type of Jew. We are all Jews. Children of HaShem. Boys, girls, Women and Men. Get over yourselves.

@ The Wolf: How DO you bold? Love it.

Yup, it’s called a Staycation.

@Clairvoyant: As matter of fact I do. One thing my mother taught me, don’t allow anyone to waste your time and always, always be independent that if you have to get out of a situation that you do not like you get up and go.

There is also a new concept called a car service. Bring enough money so if you have to call one, you leave.

No one is obligated to finish a date because someone is paying for it.

The women of today are more savvy, educated and wise than our mothers or grandmothers. We know our worth and know exactly how to utilize it.

@Mother in Israel: It’s very commendable that you and your husband sensor what your children read. But, since no man is an island and we live in a community where people run their homes the way they see fit, might I suggest that you explain to your children if they ask, that everyone runs their home according to how they see fit. What may be acceptable in their homes is not acceptable in yours.

Your children walk in the street to school, shule, friends homes and they pass newspaper stands and see all kinds of magazine covers. You can only shelter your kids so much. Sooner or later kids see and hear everything.

It is not appropriate or acceptable to “stash” your hosts’ catalogues/magazines. I personally would be offended if a guest would ask me to “hide” reading material in my own home. If you don’t like what they do, don’t visit. You can always meet in a neutral spot like a pizza parlor or the mall.

@Clairvoyant: Yes, there is a way of a date. No one (male/female) has to waste their time with someone who is rude. Don’t be nasty, just end early. Say something like: “gee, all your yawning has made me tired”. I would like to go home now”.

@Avram in MD: Avram, I also have asthma and you are right, after a severe bout I do yawn a lot for a couple of days straight. If this was the case, then the this young man should have told the poster what was going on.

@am yisrael chai: I thought I had the worst….guy came straight from work (camp bus driver) without going home, showering and changing his clothing. I remeber there was a black ring of dirt, both on his neck and on his shirt. It was around 90 degrees that day. I most certainly changed what I was wearing from very nice to very casual. But, I have to say you win!!!!

@am yisrael chai: As I wrote in a previous post, SOME of my friends KNEW what they were getting into and chose to marry their husbands anyway. I’m not talking when the guy is Prince Charming BEFORE the wedding and after he turns out to be a real piece of work.

That said, Knowing what you are getting yourself into and C’V having to call Hatzalah are 2 different issues. Noone wants to get sick or have a medical emergency. The medical emergency is NOT the person’s fault. If the woman knows what she is getting into and makes the decision to marry her husband, then she has to step up to the plate and figure something out. Complaining to me is not going to help. I have no control over the situation and like I wrote previously, how many years can you keep hearing the same complaints about your friend’s (s’) husbands before losing your patience.

If he was verbally abusive before the marriage, he will continue after. That is what I’m saying. You are right, the abused are NOT to be blamed. But, if going into the marriage and the woman sees that the man is abusive, usually just verbally, because he can’t hit her yet, because they aren’t married (negiah) then it it most likely he will NOT change and continue in his ways.

Oh, I have an idea. Next time they complain about the same thing, I will send them to you!!!!

I think we agree/are on the same page, but coming from different directions? Do you agree?

Alte Bouchur: A man, whether married or not, does not act his age or behave in an appropriate way. Sometimes it’s called Social Retardation. No, I’m not making fun of individuals who have Mental Retardation. I’m talking about indididuals who do not know how to act in social settings.

Anyone agree, disagree?

@binahyeseira: You hit it right on the head, these two words are not very nice. So good to see that someone agrees with me.

@DovidHAmelech: So what you are saying is that if a person chooses NOT got get married s/she is evil? Please explain.

Not everyone wants to get married and some who do don’t want children. These are Personal choices, not to be made by the “kehilah”. Everyone has to live their lives according to their standards.

Dovid HaMelech: I realize that you read many, many articles and gather many stats, but have you ever conducted your own research/poll and ask a single person, man or woman if they are happy or unhappy?

I had an uncle who never married and he died at age 85 and this was in the 1970s. Not bad for a single man.

Most assuredly. I really gave a heavy sigh when I saw this comment. Better to be unhappy alone than unhappy with a spouse that isn’t your zivug/beshert. Nothing worse than a house that does not have Shalom Bait. Very sad, indeed.

Dovid HaMelech: Yes, those two words are in the dictionary, but they are dated and old-fashioned. I think I’m going to ask older single women if they find these words insulting and I will get back to you. I will take a poll, because I can’t decide for these women.

We DO have a choice to get married or remain single. That is the difference between humans and animals. We can choose, they can’t.

So, it’s better to settle for someone just to say “I got married”?

@am yisrael chai: Thank you so much for responding to my post.

I understand your concern when I wrote “I do not care”. What I really mean is: I can’t help these woman who settled. If they are not happy, they should seek counseling and I really don’t care. If they are not happy, let them get out of their situations.

Funny you should mention the Goldbergs, since like most Jewish families I have relatives with the surname Goldberg. Actually, I grew up on a street with the name Walton, hence Walton157.

You are right. It seems as if I don’t put the blame on the person who is acting improperly. But I have seen my friends in terrible situations and they THEMSELVES said that they didn’t put a stop to that kind of behavior from the beginning. So, it’s not as if I don’t know what I’m talking about.

Also, some of my married friends have said to me: “I thought when we got married he would change”. No. Doesn’t happen like this.

Sorry to see you have had unhealthy experiences in life. I sincerely hope it gets better.

What in my original post suggests that I have had unhealthy experiences in life? You are assuming things that aren’t true. These women who settled have had unhealthy experiences in their lives. Not me. Please explain how you came to this conclusion.

Just make sure the electrician is licensed or the employee doing the job is competent.

@shlishi: I understand what you are saying, but it has been my experience for just the opposite. Everyone is responsible for their own pot.

OK, folks. Please explain Pas naki. Not everyone is familiar with this. Thanks.

@shlishi: No, I think brotherofurs means all Jewish singers.

Why should they feel bad? They are performers, whether men or women and love the attention…c’mon you are projecting…

If this couple’s marriage C’V does not work out, both their dating pools will be that much smaller if he is a Cohen and she meets a Cohen.

I also wonder if the young man notices (if they see each other) that his bride cries much of the time.

There are wines that have very low alcohol levels. People will find any excuse to get drunk. Hopefully, they don’t drive. Yes, I know it’s Yom Tov, but not everyone is observant. Please, no comments or preaching about this. Not everyone is observant.

@happiest: You don’t mention if you are a male or female or how old you are or if you are the owner of your home or the renter.

Trust me, I feel the same way when I get together with my family for the holidays.

If you are over the legal age to drink alcohol, enjoy the 4 cups of wine at the Seders. (This does not mean I endorse/encourage alcoholism or underage drinking). The wine will “chill” you and you will be able to relax a little.

Maybe you can get together with friends during Yom Tov. Go for a walk, maybe sit outside…maybe go to a class at a shule, maybe visit the elderly in one of the many nursing/assisted living homes in your community.

Or, just close your door to your bedroom (if you have your own room) and read a good book.

I hope this helped you and alleviated some of your anxiety.

Much luck and have a wonderful Yom Tov.

I would say: I’m very proud of you. You are stronger than you think and smarter than you will ever know. You worked with what you had given to you and came out the other side intact and with dignity. Never lose sight of who you are and don’t allow anyone, anyone to define who you are.

Keep that great sense of humor–everyone needs to laugh.

Excelsior!!!

@Bowwow: It’s not that in the old country there was a lower standard of living but the technology to manufacture all the goodies we have today didn’t exist in many of the towns and hamlets.

Growing up in the 60s-70s we had very few options for Passover snacks. We had those jelly candies shaped like fruit, nuts or Kott Orange soda (It’s Kott to be good). Remember, no diet either.

I asked my father who lived in Poland before the War what his mother did for Passover. He said she kashered whatever she could such as the glasses and had a few seperate dishes/pots/pans for Passover.

I miss Netanya a lot. They really had the best pizza and the couple who owned the shop are very nice!!!

Just a side note which is very, very important. If anyone ever says that s/he want to commit suicide or wants to end it all, C’V, the first, first thing that should be asked is: “what is your plan”. If they have one (cut themselves, jump from a high spot, etc.) take them to the nearest hospital ASAP. If they DON’T have a plan in mind take them to a family member or a COMPETENT Rav or someone in the community who knows how to deal with this kind of situation. Seek help immediately. Most people who are suicidal need help and are looking for it. They just don’t know how or whom to ask.