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FrancoRachel3: If you decided to go “shule hopping” to find the best fit for you and your sons, please remember to talk to the rebetzins. Sometimes they are the ones who make or break a shule. I happen to love my reb. and keep going back to the same shule because of her. Very important as she has the Rabbi’s ear. Much hatzlacha to you and your family.
There are many Orthodox shules that offer Gemara classes for women. We are not living in the 18th century. Women are smart and they want to use their brains for things other than bottles, diapers and shopping lists.
Besides, knowledge is power.
Becoming a bank. Aren’t enough on Avenue J. I will miss the Snack Box.
🙁
@bentzion: You don’t mention how old you are. If your parents are Chasidic or you opt to take upon yourself a chsidishe life.
If you are living in your parent’s home then you are obligated to listen to them. If you are living on your own and supporting yourself then you can do what you like.
Just the fact that you have to ask strangers what you should do indicates that you are not mature enough to take such a big step.
Marriage is not a game. It’s sometimes very complicated and stressful. Marriage is for individuals who are not living in an idealistic, fantasty world. The honeymoon ends very, very quickly and reality hits very, very hard.
The house has to be cleaned, bills paid, laundry done and all the little things that life throws at us.
No room to be selfish and petty. There is a lot of negotiating day in and day out.
Once the babies start coming it’s even more stressful, especially if the wife works and the husband sits all day and learns. Ever see the price of a box/pack/bottle of diapers, baby formuala and wipes? Start mortaging your home.
Think twice, three times before you start something you can’t finish.
Much hatzlacha and may you find your zivug in the right time.
gg and NJ_Mom: My family also has yichus to the Chasam Sofer. So, it would be wonderful if NJ_Mom would share the family tree. Thank you.
@Just Plain: If the JBFCS receives money/grants from the government, by law they MUST accept any client no matter religion, nationality, creed or sexual preference.
You are right, they are NOT a Shomer Shabbat agency.
@everyone: If we found out that we aren’t Jewish non of the above would apply to us. So this whole thing is moot.
No wonder we have a shidduch crisis.
My husband and my father have the same name: Daddy.
@DaasYochid: You are correct. A mechanic should get more than a candy dish.
Some Shadchanim might be in the business to make money and don’t care if the ‘match’ is a good ‘match’. I think this is our fellow CRs are saying.
@bookish: If shadchunus is a business then the shadchan should state upfront how much they charge.
When I have my apartment painted, the painter tell me upfront how much he is charging. No guessing, no bad feelings. It’s business.
@nfgo: Gentiles are not obligated according to Jewish Law to cover their heads ever or when attending a Jewish program.
Most gentiles do it out of respect for their “hosts”.
Some might cover their heads for all the reasons you mentioned. We are living in the 21st Century and people are more educated now than they were decades ago and understand the culture/traditions of their “neighbors”.
It is very disrespectful in the Japanese culture for an individual to cross their legs with the sole of their shoe showing.
Also, in the Japanese working world, peoples’ business cards are not placed in a presentation folder but handed to those attending the presentation. It seems to be ceremonial.
@Gamanit: It means you should stay in your home town and attend college, get a good paying job and support your husband when he sits in Kollel for the rest of your marriage.
How about learning a skill so you can get a good paying job after you sit in Kollel for the next 10-15 years?
It may look like leather, but it could really be Pleather. If it’s tznius, I have no problem. People wear whichever materials are comfortable for their bodies. Don’t like it, don’t wear it and leave us leather-wearing-biker-chicks alone!!!
Noticing differences in people does NOT make you a racist.
Maybe some people aren’t morning people. I am, but after 3PM don’t bother looking at me. I’m tired, cranky and hungry.
I notice differeces in the Chasidic sects such as dress (streimels), but this doesn’t make me a racist. People of the same color ARE different.
Just be polite and continue with “making” all the kiddushim HaShem that you can.
Emes Car Service: 718.871.5400 or 718.871.5005
@insertusernamehere: Very classy and unique idea. Now comes the machlochet. In Hebrew or English….what does “Rashi say”?
Here’s one:
Before you speak…
T H I N K
T – Is it true?
H – Is it helpful?
I – Is it inspring?
N – Is it necessary?
K – Is it kind?
I didn’t make this up. I found it on Facebook, yes, Facebook. The “other” treif website.
@TRUEBT: The bride will have all the flowers she needs on her wedding day. What makes you think she wants more even from her husband of 10 minutes?
“….one less thing to think about”? That’s the lazy man’s way out of a situation.
@thumbthrough: Mazal Tov on your recent engagment. May you and your kallah have much nachas and be zocheh to build a Bayit Neaman B’Israel.
You mention that your kallah is “kind of a tomboy”. This would lead me to believe that she enjoys (watching) sports. Perhaps tickets to her favorite sports team. I know, not “bridal” at all. But a gift is suppose to make the recipient happy. Or, you can ask your kallah what SHE would prefer. She’s getting married and old enough to make this kind of desicion.
If possible, please let us know what the outcome is. This is a most interesting scenario.
After Halloween, Target and Walmart have huge sales/discounts on their Halloween candy. Last year, I saw a frum family buy tons of candy for Purim.
If you are worried they will melt, freeze them.
@YW Moderator-42: I would like to see YOU control your cow of a wife with a cattle prod. You are a shovenistic (spelling?)pig.
.
See http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/johhny-lingos-8-cow-wife – YW Moderator
I have a Keurig and bought reusable filters so I can use whichever ground coffee I like. It saves tons of money. You can get these resulsble filters in any Bed, Bath and Beyond. They came four to the pack-2 red, 2 black. Love them.
Also, Tarjay (Target) is having a sale on Gevalia K-cups this week. 18 for like $11.00. L’chaim!!!
@Jwashing: You are right about mixed messages. If you ever read magazines geared towards women (i.e., Good Housekeeping)there will be a whole article about dieting and on the next page a recipe for double, double chocholate chip cake.
This is what life is about. Mixed messages. It’s up to us to use the brain that HaShem gave us to make our own decisions.
In today’s world, where one child might live in Lakewood and one in Brooklyn, going away to a hotel for the Major Yom Tovim maybe the only times they can see each other.
Please remember that those individuals who go away contribute to the economy. There is the managagment, hotel staff, mashgiach, food vendors, maintenance, cleaning crew, food vendors, paper good vendors and every other vendor in between. And don’t forget the house detective who makes sure everyone is safe.
@miritchka: One of the problems that I have noticed in Flatbush/Midwood is the lack of covers for the trash bins that are outside peoples’ homes. If I were a possum/racoon/squirrel I would definately come to F/M. Between the thrown out gefilte fish, chulent, kugel and other delicacies it’s a virtual feast.
@Jewish Source: This is a direct result of the school they are in.
This is one of the most ingnorant, non-educated comments I have ever read.
Do you know anything about the Yeshiva of Flatbush High School or its history? Have you ever spoken to its administration or its students-yes, both boys and girls?
I happen to live 2 blocks from the High School and the other morning a group of girls from the school were walking on Avenue J. They conducted themselves like the true Daughters of Israel that they are. It was a real Kiddush HaShem to see them. I said to myself “Mi Kiamacha Yisrael”?
So, before you start talking trash about something you know nothing about, don’t judge as I wonder what is going on your backyard.
What’s a koifer? Please, if hebrew/yiddish words are used, please explain them. thanks.
Isn’t it a bit too late to start looking for a job as a counselor? I thought the job search begins in Jan/Feb?
@ShalomToYou: Not only are you superficial, but just the fact that you don’t like heavy girls shows that you are immature and not ready for a seriouis relationship.
You are also a baal-gavah. Maybe this young woman is coming to your town to be set-up with other men. Don’t think that because you don’t want her another man/men might not be interested in her.
I would assume that your phone is ringing off the hook for shidduchim, but please note, the phone calls stop coming as you get older and pickier. People get tired of the lame, immature exuses and will go on to “greener” pastures.
@acers: LOLLOL!! Yes. Each diamond has a different value.
Ladies: Do not allow yourselves to be naive. Have your engagment ring apparaised by a reputable dealer. You do not have to tell your husand/fiancee. Once that ring is on your finger, it is yours and your business.
G-d forbid you have to sell your ring, you must know its worth so you don’t get rooked. If you are old enough to get married you are old enough to find out the worth of your ring.
This has nothing to do with “but I love him”. This has to do with business.
You can also have it insured. How many times do we go to a simcha and take off our rings to wash for HaMoztie and almost forget it on the counter next to the sink? How many of these rings were “lost” because in truth the wife really didn’t liike the ring to begin with. But, this is only good if the ring is insured.
@scrisis: I understand exactly where you are coming from. I am overweight and when I was dating guys would tell me to MY FACE that I was too heavy for them. Meanwhile they were so fat they looked like they were 13 months pregnant. I just looked at them like the social retards that they are and said nothing.
Also, don’t put your trust in shaddchanim. HaShem is THE ultimate shaddchan. I got married about 6 weeks ago to a wonderul man who said he likes his woman on the “chunky” side. My husband sees me for who I am, not the fat that is hiding who I am.
The rabbis, rabaim, shaddchanim, etc. had better wake up and tell these “boys” that they are in dreamland. One day these “boys” will wakeup and be the alter buchers of their shuls/shteibels/synagogues. Nothing more pathetic than to see an “old” man without a talis because he’s an older single.
As for the wome/girls. Live your lives the best way you can. Your basherts will come and they will love you for who you are.
@YW Moderator-42: Not so unusual to have snew in Nissan. Does anyone remember that huge snewstorm in the early 80s that took place about 4 days before Passover?
I came home from college not knowing there would be such a storm with spring clothing and no winter boots. Needles to say I was snuggled in the house for 4 days straight.
@yttz: I second that second cup of instant coffee…
@modchebp: You ae not a russian car service that just came off the boat.
What does a Russian/Mexican/American or any other nationality have to do with this? How about JUST car service?
Also, it’s not only some of the Yeshiva guys that come looking like schleps. I am MO and if you would see WHAT has shown up at my door you would also plotz.
Most of these Yeshiva “boys” are exactly that-“boys”. They need to be groomed, hand-held and told what to do step-by-step. These top notch yeshivas should offer dating 101, if these are such issues. Too bad the young women put so much effort into their appearances and the “boys” not so much.
@mobe613:Ever hear of play clothes. You know, when you wear more comfortable atire as opposed to your “every day uniform” so you can chill a little.
Also, some men wear baseball caps because they are balding or maybe they want to support their favorite team.
Maybe your husband, uncle or reliable older cousin can go with him by foot or car.
@mirroronthewall: It’s not a shidduch crisis it’s YOUR crisis. Get a job, get a roommate and move out. Then you will be called a woman instead of a “girl”. You will then be able to meet eligible men instead of “boys”.
@moderator: What the world is novardok and they obviously didn’t teach you tolerance for ALL of HaShem’s children.
now who doesn’t know anything.
Calm your horses. Things slip through, and if you’ll notice, I went back and edited that word out.
Forget about all these beggars religion. A beggar told my sister that he gets cable. HUH!!!!???? If you are THAT poor you shouldn’t be getting cable. I don’t give to people in the streets only to legitimate organizations that publish an annual report for every fiscal year and are a “real” 501(3)(c) and who also have a 990.
Personally, I think the mitavah tanz is the most UNtzinus thing I have ever seen. The bride stands there like a lumiks (spelling?) while everyone is clapping and dancing. Talk about humiliating.
I am also disappointed at the Moderators for not removing the offensive word used by Ich bin ein Berliner. Shows also that the moderators are ignorant and uneducated no matter how much Tanach, Gemarah and Halacha they might know.
keep it coming. I went to novardok and I live for this stuff.
@ Ich bin ein Berliner: There is no reason to use derogatory names in reference to other nationalities. There are many black Jews who might, I repeat, might find the word “kooshim” offensive. I know many black people who are not anti-semitic nor anti-Israel.
Your usage of this word shows that you are ignorant and uneducated no matter how much Tanach, Gemarah, Halacha you may know.
MDG: Yes, that is why they are called “male”, for they have no self control at all.
Same reason many Americans don’t vote:
1. Don’t care
2. Not registered
3. Don’t care to register
4. Religious purposes
5. Illegal Aliens
6. Don’t have the means or transportation to get to the polls.
7. Sometimes bad weather
8. All of the above.
@Talmud: Bring cake from the wedding:
When? After a whole week of Sheva Brachot. A very small consolation prize indeed, Monty Hall would not like this one bit.
@boredsouls: HAHAHAH!!! I have to laugh. Your husband was mugged by individuals who happen to be black and he’s afraid of ALL black people. I’m guessing that your black coworkers are NOT the individuals who mugged him…so what do they have to do with your husband being mugged.
The fact that you work in the “outside” world means that you are mature enough to make the right decision. If any of your co-workers whether black, white, hispanic, etc. is a supervisor/manager/boss POLITICALLY you SHOULD invite them.
I’m getting married G-d willing in February and can’t invite the whole office. I work with both Jews and non-Jews. I hung up our invitation where EVERYONE can see it. All are invited to the Kabalat Panim and Chuppah. They will get the hint that they are NOT invited to the sit down meal when they DO NOT see a place card with their names on it.
Just remember NOT to cause a Chillul Hashem.
If your Chattan doesn’t like you working in a company with folks outside the tribe then perhaps he can get another job.
@shmoel: Many of the delivery “boys” are men trying to support their families. It’s not mandatory to give a tip, but it sure is nice. Depending on how big your order is. If your order is for a major Yom Tov, tip a bit more. If you get deliveries from the same store most of the time give what you feel you are comfortable giving.
Please keep in mind that if you in a house/building with no elevator, you should definately give something.
I usually tip a one or two dollars. Also keep in mind that tip money is not taxable, so whatever tips the delivery men make is full-take home pay.
@theBearisBack: I worked as a caseworker and can attest firsthand that I did NOT receive any bonuses when I helped a former client apply/get SSI/SSDI. Where you got your information from is wrong!!
Forget COJO. It is only good for photo ops. Beter to go to JBFCS or VESID (age eligibility).
This is important: If an individual receives SSI, their checking/savigns acount CAN’T have more than $2,000.00. Why? Because the monies they are receiving is from the government. The government considers SSI spendable income. But keep those receipts, as the IRS has been known to audit going back 10-15 years, yes, 10-15 for SSI recipients.
If an individual receives SSDI, there is no minimum/maximum that has to be kept in the bank. Why? Because SSDI is monies that the indvidual worked for (qualifying quarters)NOT from the government.
SSI: Social Security Income. Monies from the government
SSDI: Social Security Disability Insurance. EARNED monies.
@WIY: I have to agree and then add some. As an older single, I have B”H found my beshert and zivug after many years of searching, but never giving up.
But before I found my beshert, and I would meet with Shadchanim and after finding out my age, they would give me that fake smile (but their eyes always told the truth)and tell me that it would be difficult to find someoneoe for me, meaning: lady, you are too old, why are you bothering me or for that matter bothering at all? I would always smile and thank them for their help knowing full well that there is only ONE ultimate Shadchan and I put all my bitachon in Him.
Perhaps if the Shadchanim would open their eyes a bit more and remember their mission, we wouldn’t be in this mess.
Unfortunately, we are also the cause of this crisis: the Rabbaim telling their students to marry younger women–I understand Asay lecha rav, but to give that much power to another human being that affects the lives of so many people? If you have to ask someone who to marry, then you are NOT mature or old enough to get married.
Asking if the family in question uses a white table cloth on its shabbos table, asking if the family in question scrapes or stacks its plates after a shabbos meal. What kind of nonsense is this?
No wonder we are in a crisis. I really don’t think HaShem cares what color our tablecloths are or if we stack or scrape.