DaMoshe

Aveirah, you didn’t respond to my points about the Oaths.

You should ask to speak to a manager to clarify the difference.

First, I’d like to say that numerous points made by Joseph, Aveirah, and others are completely false. They really enjoy making things up, or twisting other things to suit their own purposes.

I think we really need to make a differentiation between LWMO and the rest of it. LWMO I’ll define as Avi Weiss and his ilk. I agree that they have major issues, and they should not be considered Orthodox. It’s not only my opinion – the RCA said a number of years ago that they left Orthodoxy. So they could call themselves whatever they want, it doesn’t change what they are. Lumping them together with good, frum MO people is a mistake.

Does MO have some issues? Of course, every sect does. That doesn’t mean it’s all wrong.

You also can’t compare the Modern Orthodoxy of 50+ years ago to what exists today. Torah observance in the US has grown tremendously, and MO as a whole has grown as well.

I disagree about the characterization of tefillah in a MO shul being filled with talking and smartphone use. It’s not true. In fact, I will say that the worst shul I’ve ever been to as far as decorum is concerned is a chassidish shul in Brooklyn, with a Rav who is regarding as a big adam gadol, who is widely respected. But after seeing the lack of decorum multiple times, I refuse to daven there anymore.

In truth, I should point out that I’ve seen people talking on the phone in shul, on Shabbos. I’ve used the phone on Shabbos myself. I even used it on Rosh Hashanah, and I believe once on Pesach, during the seder. I have adult family members who don’t fast on Yom Kippur, and still consider themselves frum. Is this because I’m MO? No, I’m sure you guessed that it was all for medical reasons. You know what else I’ve seen? A family member who learned in kollel, who was a chassid shoteh. His wife went into labor on Shabbos afternoon. He decided, “She likely won’t give birth too quickly, and it’s only a few hours until Shabbos ends. I’ll be maikel and use the earliest zman, and then take her to the hospital!” He even left her alone to go to shul to daven Maariv! Baruch Hashem, the baby was born about 10 seconds after they got into the hospital – shomer p’sayim Hashem.
This is what yeshivish has become.
NoMesorah pointed out the leadership vacuum. When did Chareidim become like chassidim, and need a Rebbe in charge? Each time a Gadol Hador passes away, everyone goes crazy trying to figure out who gets the title next! Why does it matter? You have your Rav, listen to him! This is exactly one of the things the Gra feared with his opposition to Chassidus – the elevation of the Rebbe to a position above that of a person.
It fits for Joseph to quote Rabbonim from 60-70 years ago when he wants to, what about the Gra? Joseph, do you oppose chassidus? After all, it had no mesorah at all, and was opposed by the Gadol Hador at the time! Does this not fit your narrative?

This entire thread is truly sickening. The sinas chinam showed here is terrifying. Aveirah, I fully agree with those who said that you should not be in a classroom. I pray that one day you are found out for the hateful person you are, and you get blacklisted.

This has turned into a rant, because I’m just so sickened by this. These hateful people should be begging for forgiveness from the thousands of people they are insulting.

Can we pause for a moment to recognize Joseph’s hero, Levi Aron? After all, he might have been nervous about walking between 2 women in Boro Park. He was “massered” on by the wife of a frum Brooklyn politician. How dare she do such a thing!

(Before I get jumped on, this post is sarcastic, aimed purely at Joseph for trying to defend people touching kids who aren’t their own, and attacking a mother for protecting her child.)

Why is there a ranking of different yeshivos? It should be about which one is the best fit for each person. They’re not one size fits all.

I had heard also that RAY was considered “better” than R’ Dovid. A friend told me he was going to R’ Dovid’s yeshiva, and I jokingly said, “You couldn’t get into RAY?” He replied, “Why should I learn by a grandson of the Brisker Rav when I can learn by his son?”
One of my Rabbeim from Darchei had an extremely low opinion of RAY. He used to refer to him as AJ. Someone once asked him what the issue was, and he replied, “My mother taught me, if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” The boy asked, “Rebbe, there’s nothing good to say?” The Rebbe replied, “His father was a big talmud chacham.”

There was a story told when I was in yeshiva about RAY. Supposedly he strongly disagreed with a psak that R’ Moshe Feinstein had given, and wasn’t shy about saying so. Once, in shiur, he was talking about it, and he yelled out, “ah Feinstein hut gemacht a churban in America!”
R’ Elya Svei’s son (I believe that’s who it was) was in the shiur. He stood up and yelled back, “I heard it was a Soloveitchik!” Then he walked out of the room.

If the state is illegitimate, and its laws are not binding on anyone, then why do you care if Deri is part of it or not? Are you trying to grant it legitimacy by having him be part of it?

Deri wasn’t only convicted for tax violations. Years earlier, he was also convicted for accepting bribes, which is an issur d’Oraysa.

There is a huge difference between eating onions and going on cruises or hotel programs for Pesach.
Also try to remember that you are supposed to have better foods for Shabbos and Yom Tov.
So how do we do this? I don’t go out to fancy restaurants unless it’s a special occasion – my anniversary, or maybe my wife’s birthday. While I do eat chicken during the week, I do make an effort to have foods that are special for Shabbos. (One thing I’m a big fan of is dried salami/sausages, and I save them for Shabbos when I do get them.)
For Yom Tov it’s a bit easier – I’ll buy a roast. I almost never have it on regular Shabbosim. The only time is if I’m having a large amount of guests and I know some of them really enjoy it. In fact, I had that recently. I mentioned to a friend that I had prepared a brisket for Shabbos, and he gave me an incredulous look, and said, “It’s not Yom Tov!”
So we can have good foods, and I don’t think it’s a problem. But there is a line where it just becomes wasteful.

I don’t think there’s one age that fits everyone.
There should be more education on what having your own home is like. How to be financially responsible, how to maintain a home, etc. That’s something which isn’t really taught in yeshivos, and I personally know many individuals who struggled with it right after getting married.
Start teaching those items, and then maybe boys will be ready for marriage earlier.

Avira. the Besht taught that improper thoughts should not be avoided. The reason is that he believed that since the entire world is a manifestation of Hashem’s will, and Hashem is purely good, therefore everything in the world is good. This is the basis of the whole idea of klipos, hiding kernels of holiness within them.
The Besht said that if one was in middle of davening, and began having improper thoughts, one should NOT try to remove them from his mind. Instead, he should concentrate on the images, and appreciate the beauty within them. Try to acknowledge that it all comes from Hashem. Since lust is connected with love, if one recognizes that the lust comes from Hashem, concentrating on it will lead to Ahavas Hashem.
Indeed, one of his students, Leib Melamed from Brody, wrote a commentary on the Tur, and he commented that it’s praiseworthy to try and picture inappropriate images while davening, in order to elevate your love of Hashem.

Obviously, the misnagdim strongly opposed this idea. R’ Dovid of Makow, one of the misnagdim, explained something which the Gra said – the Gra came out publicly against chassidim exclaiming “Yakar!” while davening. R’ Dovid said the Gra picked this issue because Yakar has the same letters as Keri. He wouldn’t use the term straight out due to tznius, but he was alluding to the improper ideas they had during davening.

mentsch, my point was that it doesn’t necessarily inject ruchniyos. A warm fuzzy feeling doesn’t mean you’re getting closer to Hashem.

I was told by the head of a very respected hechsher in Brooklyn that kashrus is about 85% politics and 15% hilchos kashrus. So I guess I agree that the 50% figure put out a little while back is incorrect.

Aveirah, if someone is purposely seeking out chumros because they are concerned about doing the right thing, then they should probably see a therapist. They may have anxiety issues.
Recognize what a chumrah is – it’s a stringency, not halachah. In fact, it is actually assur to search out extra chumros to take on for yourself.

Aveirah, you can make jokes if you like. There’s actually a fertility specialist who is a Rabbi too. He won’t pasken for his patients, but he’ll tell them all the relevant details to give over to their Rav when asking shailos.

Reb Eliezer, that’s not necessarily correct. I was told that you can ask, but you must tell the second Rav about the psak when asking your question.
I once had a situation where my Rav sent me to another Rav who was an expert in the specific type of case. The psak was not what we were hoping for. My Rav told me that he was going to send me to someone else. He called first to explain the background, and then I told him the exact details of the situation.
That was when my Rav told me you can ask someone else, as long as you inform them of the psak you already received.

yungermanS: is that really what you believe? That we don’t need to do any of our own hishtadlus? That we can ignore everything and Hashem will give us what we need?

Now I have to buy a copy of it, since it will be valuable soon.

How do we know that nobody today reaches the level of earlier Gedolim?
R’ Elyashiv zt”l once compared R’ CHaim Kanievsky zt”l to a Rishon – when the famous story with the grasshopper occurred, he said that this is something only Rishonim were zoche to experience. Obviously it’s extremely rare to have individuals reach these heights, but I don’t think it’s impossible.

I actually did ask one someone from Darchei. His response was “The Tzitz Eliezer was definitely a major posek, but I’m not going near this question!”

Joseph, I’m not discussing whether having the surgery is muttar or not. There is an issur to damage your body. That issur is often waived for medical needs – for example, you can’t just stick yourself with a needle for no reason. But for a diabetic, it’s required for health purposes. With someone who truly has gender identity issues, it must be discussed with a Rav and a doctor, to determine if there is a serious threat of suicide cs”v without it.
Personally, I believe it’s just a mental illness, which should be treated as such. But that doesn’t mean that there isn’t an immediate threat.

The question raised was for the b’dieved of a person who already had the surgery – what is their gender from a halachic perspective?

I’m not saying this person is a good person. I was just addressing Aveirah’s accusation that this couple is engaging in serious issurim by living together. That’s all. I believe having the surgery was wrong, and that this person has serious issues. But I also accept that there is a legitimate option (the Tzitz Eliezer) who holds that halachically, this person is now a woman.

mdd1: The case in question is there is a person who claims to be frum, who was born as a man, and had surgery to become a woman. This person is now married to a man, and they claim to live a frum lifestyle, as Lubavitch chassidim.
The Tzitz Eliezer has a teshuvah that says when someone has surgery to change gender, halachically they become the new gender. Aveirah is trying to claim that this person is committing horrible aveiros by being married. I am pointing out that while most don’t agree with the Tzitz Eliezer, he was definitely a top-notch gadol, and who are we to say he shouldn’t be followed, especially for someone who really felt they needed this surgery?

Aveirah, I don’t even know who Mike Moskowitz is. I did look up the teshuvah. He actually mentions that he read in newspapers that surgery is available now for gender changes. He says it must be examined as to what the status is, and that’s why he brings in the cases of an androgynous or a tumtum, in order to provide a base in establish halachah. But it’s pretty clear that he is referring to modern surgeries, to change a person’s gender.
As I said, I don’t follow this psak. But if others do, the Tzitz Eliezer definitely was a huge gadol.

The next time I see R’ Bender, I will try to remember to ask him this. I have no problem asking him about anything, you’d be surprised about some of the things we’ve discussed over the years.

Your pure hatred towards Jews who don’t think like you continues to show. You will say anything to try and show them in a negative light. I’m not even referring to the former teacher at Magen David, I’m referring to your opinions about good, frum Jews who happen to call themselves Modern Orthodox.
I really hope you do teshuvah, and begin accepting and loving your Jewish brethren. Maybe that will help bring Mashiach – your current stance is probably preventing it.

Aveirah, you’d be surprised about how well informed R’ Bender is about these things. I think you’d also be surprised if you walked into the RIETS Beis Medrash on any evening during the zman.

As for the left-wing people who call themselves MO, you’re mistaken. They usually follow Avi Weiss, who doesn’t call himself MO, he used the term Open. Even the ones who don’t only make up a tiny part of the MO community. Just like in any community you have outliers, so too MO does. No MO Rav will back them, so they certainly don’t represent a valid view of Modern Orthodoxy.

You mentioned the case of the ex-teacher in Brooklyn. He doesn’t even claim to be MO, he and his family claim to be Chabad. He also claims to halachically be a woman, based on the psak of the Tzitz Eliezer, who ruled that if someone has the surgery, they are halachically the gender they currently have the parts of. While most disagree with this psak, the Tzitz Eliezer certainly was a gadol that may be relied on. My only question is did this person ask his own Rav and receive this psak (based on the T”E), or did he choose on his own to follow it?

Coffee: what do you think shows someone as a Darchei talmud?

Lakewhut – there are too many factors that would go into deciding whether someone is a “Torah Jew”. We would never know all of them. So why bother trying to figure out if someone is more or less than someone else?

Aveirah, not a violation of halacha? The Torah says straight “do not accept bribes”. Deri accepted a lot of money in bribes when he was interior minister.
Later he was convicted of tax fraud. From a halachic perspective, that’s theft and lying.

At the end of the day, I trust R’ Schachter to make sure the club is run properly. He is approving it, so I assume he will be on top of things. Having teachers who say things like you mentioned is terrible, and it doesn’t belong in the school. I hope they act accordingly.
Let’s hope that the club has the effect that R’ Schachter intends for it, and that it helps people in this tough situation stay frum!