A Sheep without a Spleen
Forum Replies Created
August 14, 2016 10:20 pm at 10:20 pm in reply to: I am very upset at the mods #1166681
what’s wrong with screaming curses, I think people should only says cursesMarch 29, 2015 10:37 pm at 10:37 pm in reply to: Seemingly ordinary things that are actually a problem in halacha or Kabalah #1085047
Not drinking even cups of wine is Baba Metziah 86a in the middle, but dont just read that story, make sure you get the one right in the beginning too (though after a little it does get pretty weird)February 6, 2015 7:15 pm at 7:15 pm in reply to: You know you're not a yeshiva guy anymore when… #1197592
I didn’t learn much about yeshivos from here, but I did learn who in the CR likes themDecember 14, 2014 3:34 am at 3:34 am in reply to: Signs I never saw on the highway #1050149
These signs cost money
So Roost a while
But don’t get funny
Burma ShaveOctober 14, 2014 12:32 am at 12:32 am in reply to: Israeli driver #1035126
I dated a chocolate-like (that’s artificial chocolate) custom on top of my chaim, for him.August 12, 2014 8:09 pm at 8:09 pm in reply to: Women Cleaning #1027248
And all we eat is cow. Or young goat. And we get to throw the blood all over everything.August 12, 2014 1:54 am at 1:54 am in reply to: Rabbi Yitzchak Kimmel #1027726
He’s too expensive for meApril 17, 2014 2:07 am at 2:07 am in reply to: But I got em back #1011787
So I mentioned before that if you didn’t have to think about if it’s Bah, Bo, or Bam then you said the wrong ViHanchilainu.
Well If you DIDN’T have to think about it, then you didn’t say VihasianuAugust 1, 2013 8:09 pm at 8:09 pm in reply to: You're so vain… #969568
Sorry PBA, but you’re WAY outclassed in the “cool” department by yours truly.
Th plane is overrated? Or made you constipated.August 1, 2013 8:03 pm at 8:03 pm in reply to: Eat, drink, and be healthy! #969134
Not necessary, If you have the wine you’re good to go. However, if your spleen is enlarged, you can try some Blacksmith water. Just don’t drink too much…June 23, 2013 11:44 am at 11:44 am in reply to: InShidduchim.com: Is That the Jewish Way? #1216482
Rivky decided to go ahead with the plan anyway and sent it to all the labarotories labeled as one of the essential ingredients in the vaccine for girl’s measles with a time delay of 19 years.
Rochel’s double grinned. In fact, the only thing that the vaccine caused WAS autism.June 23, 2013 6:22 am at 6:22 am in reply to: InShidduchim.com: Is That the Jewish Way? #1216480
Lauren’s triple’s alternate personality rejoiced inwardly, she had finally ouwitted LTA (lauren’s triple’s personality A). Instead of the vaccine, she had filled the syringe with an anti-tznius drug, in just 6 hours Lauren’s triple would walk out of the plane right into the hands of lauren’s quadruple and a squadron of NASI investors and then rivky would never clean for pesach or baal peor.
Meanwhile Shmuel’s Triple was getting confused if he was supposed to pretend to notice or not notice Lauren’s Triple’s pretending pretending to not pretend to not know how orthodox women acted. In particular he wasn’t sure whether he was talking to LTA or LTB. He decided to play it safe and fake an asthma attack, use his epi-pen and go to sleep. He reached for the syringe, inserted it into his thyroid (or wherever it goes) and breathed a sigh of relief. Just then LTB noticed that she had used his syringe. Who know’s what Shmuel’s Double alternate personality had put in his!June 23, 2013 6:01 am at 6:01 am in reply to: InShidduchim.com: Is That the Jewish Way? #1216478
Lauren’s double breathed a sigh of relief, it was hard pretending to not know how Orthodox women act. She just couldn’t let the vaccine be produced, the vampires needed someone to prey on and if they didn’t dig enough holes they’d never find the treasure.. the last horcrux- A jar of peach jam.February 22, 2013 5:54 pm at 5:54 pm in reply to: At the kever of Mordechai and Esther in Iran joke #931982
with this path, soon they’ll be putting flashing articles on the sidebarsFebruary 22, 2013 5:23 pm at 5:23 pm in reply to: At the kever of Mordechai and Esther in Iran joke #931980
I got into a whole discussion beacuse of that one, since it had an Abuchatzeira in itFebruary 22, 2013 4:58 pm at 4:58 pm in reply to: Things that are ok to say in Hebrew but not in English #996154
Hmm, I wonder if Israelis say those words in English. They should.December 17, 2012 3:08 am at 3:08 am in reply to: WAKE UP!! Our Yeshivas & Schools Are Open To The Public!! #913724
Not to at all disparage the comment, but to cavalierly toss out our school’s money when our rebbeim are starving seems kind of cruelSeptember 16, 2012 3:24 am at 3:24 am in reply to: Are Women Really Jewish? #1065077
So like most of you I hope, my first thought on seeing this thread was, “That’s funny, I know they act like goyim and don’t follow the Torah and do the mitzvos like us, but of course they’re jewish.” However, recently, my wife who’s doing Daf HaSha’ah showed me a Tosfos in Qiddushin who quotes a gemara in Sotah that clearly holds they’re not. [The Tosfos itself was kinda interesting till I realized I might be a gayr] Those who follow the Rambam will of course throw this out with the baby but for the rest of us.
The Gemara (Sotah 37b [Of course I didn’t look it up] says that at Har Sinai the Bnei Yisrael Took on 603,550 covenants as guarantors for each other. Tosfos derives from this that they did not become guarantors for the Eirev Rav. The obvious next step is that they also did not become guarantors for the women. ???? ????? ??.April 16, 2012 1:25 am at 1:25 am in reply to: Pesach circa 1980 VS Pesach 2012 #867659
In my house we give them crushed rock and mud. And if they want straw they can find it themselves!April 16, 2012 12:58 am at 12:58 am in reply to: Family Not Traveling Together #868065
I always let my wife take the kids and I come erev yom tov.April 15, 2012 8:10 pm at 8:10 pm in reply to: missing a parsha #867394
I thought you missed the parsha of shidduchim; like you just got married with out dealing with all the people trying to get you to marry the fat people. Now THAT would have been impressive.April 15, 2012 8:07 pm at 8:07 pm in reply to: Mekor needed- thanks!!! #867391
why do people have the minhag to only eat matzah and maror the whole pesach?
because all the other foods might have touched chametz.April 15, 2012 5:23 am at 5:23 am in reply to: Sheva Brochos Divrei Torah #867931
Just say a full Shmaatsa without quoting
And people who are Popa Bar Abba even though their name doesn’t say it (ie. Moskidoodle. [Popa has Bipolar Syndrome])April 11, 2012 9:58 pm at 9:58 pm in reply to: Lady Fingers #1070272
I prefer to eat my sister’s fingersApril 11, 2012 9:56 pm at 9:56 pm in reply to: Davening Gemara #1017034
Or maybe it was really a picture Gemorah that he was reading…
and stay away from the mean-spirited peopleApril 10, 2012 9:06 pm at 9:06 pm in reply to: Why is People from the cr acting mean #867516
Moskidoodle: There’s a reason people say “Let me Google that for you” not “Let me Bad Middos Pirates that for you”April 10, 2012 8:44 pm at 8:44 pm in reply to: Why is People from the cr acting mean #867513
moskidoodle is a copycat and looks on yeshiva world to figure out how to insult people.
As for the pirates, The spleenless one actually read the book and even if moskiface didnt he still should have noticed that the book which rabbi shemtov carries around is…………. orchos tzaddikim.
And even if moski didnt even look at the pictures he should have at least read the foremost book on middos…….. the orchos tzaddikim.April 10, 2012 8:37 pm at 8:37 pm in reply to: Why I'm never giving blood again. By popa. #1157859
You obviously are making an attempt at intelligence. Here. I will help you.
Step one. Untie other half of brain.
Step two. Take off that silly thinking cap; it isn’t helping you.
Step three. Listen to the wisdom of the sheep.
Step four. Ponder what the sheep said.
Step five. Commence talking-(just joking)
The real step five. Think about what kind of things are forced in logic by what the sheep said.
Step six. Write the in the space where it says reply.
Step seven. Click where it says Send Post.
Now as for the stand up comedy I do in the bar called “Ywn coffeeroom”, You will find it funny after you repeat steps three and four a few times.
As for my knowledge of medicine, it was already mentioned by the Blacksmith-water Sheep that I donate blood much more than healthdawg which of course takes care of your juvenile line about my cowardice.
My wife thinks I am funny, but finds it even more funny that you cant tell where blood is coming out from.April 9, 2012 9:31 pm at 9:31 pm in reply to: Why I'm never giving blood again. By popa. #1157855
listen here healthyface
I would figure that even with half your brain tied behind your back to make it fair you still know the difference between blood and skin but it seems you think that the flambouyantologistinis have more than half there brain tied in an updo. I really dont know why you’re assuming that they cant tell where the blood is coming out of. Its really not that hard and I will teach any flambouyantologistini that you know for a price, but here is a sneakpeek at my lesson.
Step one. Get a grip.
Step two. Open your eyes.
Step three. Look at the man’s arm. Now if you cant tell which guy is bleeding even if you dont know the difference between blood and skin, look for the man who is screaming. you can tell he is screaming even if you cant tell the difference between regular voices and not regular voices b/c he has his eyes closed and his mouth open. (everyone else has their mouth open AND thier eyes open.)
Step four. Look at where the gray (shade 33) liquid is coming out of the arm. You can tell it is coming out b/c it was in and now its coming out.
Step five. Put your thumb on the exact place where it is coming out and the rest of your fingers on the other side of the arm.
Step six. Commence pressure.
Sheesh!April 9, 2012 7:55 pm at 7:55 pm in reply to: Siyum Hashas #869166
I’m not sure, but for the other Asifa I think its Citifield-Asifa Dot OrgApril 9, 2012 7:53 pm at 7:53 pm in reply to: Cigarettes, chometz issue? #866718
My friend texted me Bedikas Chometz night that his friend wanted to know if he had to sell his Weed for Pesach, I was gonna reply in kind with a funny joke until I realized it was serious…
However I was impressed that he was willing to forgo it for 8 daysApril 6, 2012 1:28 pm at 1:28 pm in reply to: Why I'm never giving blood again. By popa. #1157851
To put it simply- it is very easy to tell where the needle was. Try looking at where the blood is coming out from it wont be so hard because blood is a different color than skin.April 6, 2012 4:02 am at 4:02 am in reply to: Why is People from the cr acting mean #867508
moskidoodle is cluless. the source for the bad middos pirates is the sefer orchos tzaddikim who says that it is a good middah. go figure.April 5, 2012 8:49 pm at 8:49 pm in reply to: Why is People from the cr acting mean #867504
moskidoodle: Source??April 5, 2012 7:32 pm at 7:32 pm in reply to: Asking Questions #866210
Any questioning has an answer in Yiddishkeit. We might not know the answers to every question, but there is at least one answer to each question. Don’t get me wrong. It’s not right to ask in a rebellious way or any inappropriate way. However, there is always an answer.
Christianity also does, they just don’t know any of the answers. You can’t claim we’re special if you can’t answer the questions.
This is nice. I feel so at home hereApril 5, 2012 6:15 pm at 6:15 pm in reply to: Why I'm never giving blood again. By popa. #1157847
They might not be able to stop the bleeding
WHAT?! WHAT?! Have you half your brain tied behind your back to make it fair??!! What do you think they do when they’re finished sucking your blood? let you die? why would they do that? Do you think thy suspect that the person is going to be so scared of giving blood like a teenage girl doing dor yesharim that they will never give blood again? may as well kill them. that seems to be the prevailing opinion of this thread. kill popa b/c he wont give blood.
Not everyone i s so scared of dor yesharim so theres no reason to kill him, so probably they have a way to stop the bleeding. In fact I know they do b/c i give blood all the time apparently unlike Health.April 5, 2012 5:55 pm at 5:55 pm in reply to: Whats an english name for "Shemuel" besides Sam? #866584
Samson Simpson Sylvester severus simon samaelMarch 30, 2012 11:10 pm at 11:10 pm in reply to: Separate Times For Bochurim & Sem Girls In Gateshead #1029675
a very nice point but how did you come up with the idea of making a -e’- sound? k-E’-hilah?! how do you pronounce that?March 30, 2012 9:03 pm at 9:03 pm in reply to: Are these young women nuts, selfish, out of it or something else? #865121
don’t do it for the thank you. don’t even expect it. Just do what you should be doing
You’re completely right zalman, I used to say thank you but then I saw somewhere that Bein Adam L’Chaveiro dictates that if it’s your spiritual growth or friend, you have to help your friend, I didn’t want people to only do a chesed for me to get the thank you so I stopped.March 30, 2012 6:27 pm at 6:27 pm in reply to: Yeshiva Boys being sent home to collect Bain Hazmanim #864504
Very frequently children collect Tzedaka where I am (in shul, at home or on the street), and it gives me the greatest pleasure
That’s because they’re cute… I’m not cute, I have a big hole inside of me where my spleen use to be.
That’s Reb-Apushatyid to you!
That’s better than ” He died 25 years ago, and his children sold the house to the guy before me when they moved to a nursing home, and anyway HE HATED YOUR YESHIVA (He wrote on the deed as a stipulation to never support your yeshiva)
Or “That’s Master Apashutayid to you, I’m only on your list because I gave my Maaser money from my lemonade stand to the pushka in your yeshiva once!”March 30, 2012 5:20 pm at 5:20 pm in reply to: Yeshiva Boys being sent home to collect Bain Hazmanim #864502
Just curious. How many people reading this have been solicited for a donation to a yeshiva, by a yeshiva bachur home for bein hazmanim, whether at home, via the phone, at work, anywhere, ever?
Hello Mr. Apash- Dr. Apushatayid
My name is Chezky Cohen from Bais Medrash Gevoha. Me and my friend are here collecting for our yeshiva. We would like to thank you for supporting us in the past and we hope that you can help us out again this year.
Ahem!March 30, 2012 12:45 am at 12:45 am in reply to: Yeshiva Boys being sent home to collect Bain Hazmanim #864453
One of Popa’s brothers first went collecting when he was 19. He went to a city with a friend and profited about about $2300 in 5 days. They weren’t an outstanding pair either. Most of those pairs from that school make between 2500 and 3000. I wouldn’t blame Popa’s brother for under-producing because all the big names were crossed out so that the “professionals” could speak to them.March 29, 2012 5:19 am at 5:19 am in reply to: What color is a black box (flight data recorder)? #863301
An orange rhinoceros is not orange
Crazy donkeys are not crazy
Achilas Matzah isn’t foodMarch 29, 2012 5:07 am at 5:07 am in reply to: Does anyone here workout, go the gym…? Laundry related question #863221
Stick it in the drawer to keep wet for next time, the way I see it, sweat is nature’s way of cooling you off, why waste it?February 1, 2012 6:29 pm at 6:29 pm in reply to: Da'as Torah #847537
3- If conceived by to the wife, possibly.
Why is patturing through children easier than brotherFebruary 1, 2012 4:24 pm at 4:24 pm in reply to: Da'as Torah #847529
2- What if he wasn’t Koneh it ( Can you marry a woman with a shtar on karka?)
Why are you sure on 4 not 3?
5-If at the time of Chalitza it was a safek, is that chalitza pesulah?February 1, 2012 3:33 pm at 3:33 pm in reply to: Da'as Torah #847520
What if we know it was from another man? What if it was forced, and the son married his mother B’Issur? Or is it not B’Issur? What if it’s a safek whether it was from IVF, though there vadai was IVF? What if there were then twins? What if there were twins but one was born through C-Section? What if there were twins, but a weasel went in and brought one of them out? What if a weasel brought one of them out and then a dog ate the weasel, went back in, and then the child was born normally?