GRATEFULBLAC

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  • in reply to: How can I get my sefer into the hands of yeshiva bochurim #1963371
    GRATEFULBLAC
    Participant

    Which Rabbonim have given a haskamah/approbation to it?
    Is the Haskamah/approbation printed in the sefer?
    Has a copy been sent to the Hamodia newspaper for review?
    Have you thought about advertising it in yeshivish english newspapers?

    in reply to: Corona Chillul Hashem (again) #1932568
    GRATEFULBLAC
    Participant

    There is only one person who we can have control of – ourselves. See that you do everything yourself to be safe, wear a mask in public places, keep to social distancing, stay away from crowds or public events as much as possible. Adhere to the rules yourself and don’t worry about what other people are doing and thinking.

    If you see someone close to you not wearing a mask say in a shop keep away from them, at least 2 metres. Don’t speak to them as this means they will breathe towards you and could spread the virus to you. Better have no contact or communication with them.

    If you are in a shop and the cashier has no mask or there is no plexiglass shield in front of them then go to a cashier/shop that has them.

    As for people supposedly being able to obtain the vaccine on the underground market etc.
    I wouldn’t lose to much sleep about them as only in a properly controlled medical environment will the most effective vaccine for you be provided, according to your needs, requirements and medical history and according to the medication that you may already be on.

    As it says in the Kerias Shema If “you” listen and do the mitzvos and love Hashem, then He will do His part in preserving you!

    in reply to: Olam Haboh #1924494
    GRATEFULBLAC
    Participant

    When we were sat in Olom Haboh, before creation, basking in the holy light of Hashem, we said this is wonderful! We wanted more, we wanted to be closer to Hashem, more Godliness, more holiness, more of the infinite light.

    How do we get it? We will have to go through some tests and tribulations of this World to earn it. To show our love of Hashem and faith in the hardest times that we will still have faith and didn’t give up on Torah and Mitzvos.

    Then Hashem will reward us with a bigger Olam Haboh, more light, more Holiness.

    Then we were sat in again Olom Haboh and We said again we want more of this wonderful infinite light, we want to be closer to Hashem and the process begins again and again and again!

    in reply to: Should Trump run again in 2024 #1920139
    GRATEFULBLAC
    Participant

    If Trump does stand in 4 years time, lets say as an Independent candidate, the Republican party is going to have a real problem.

    If they do not choose him as a their candidate he will stand anyway as an independent as take millions of votes away from them and potentially lose them the 2024 election.

    They then may be forced to choose him as their candidate and so risk either splitting the party who may want to move on to somebody else or risk losing the election, as Trump may be viewed by the American public as an old hat – has been.

    in reply to: Should Trump run again in 2024 #1919907
    GRATEFULBLAC
    Participant

    No – Trump and Biden will be too old – it should be Ivanka v Kamala!

    in reply to: Will you be in shul on Rosh Hashanah #1893260
    GRATEFULBLAC
    Participant

    I don’t intend to go to shul on the 1st day Rosh Hashanah as it is Shabbos and there will not be Shofar.

    As for the 2nd day I am debating whether I could go to shul, masked, just for the 1st 30 shofar blasts, and then come home or stay for the whole of Mussaf and all the shofar blowing.

    I will have to ask a Rov as I am vulnerable and still Shielding.

    Also does anyone know whether Hataros Nedarim has to be done with 3 people together or can it be done over the phone or by Beth din document?

    in reply to: Shidduchim – Divorced Homes #1878592
    GRATEFULBLAC
    Participant

    @n0m “Once a boy gets to extreme erudition of shas, he must have overcome his personal tendencies”.
    – Not quite sure what you are referring to? – Do you mean like a Brisker or Breslover who live their lives according to the extreme dictates of their philosophies or are you talking about somebody who has found the inner meaning of the Torah and darshens his own rules and laws?
    – At the end of the day man and wife have to live together and be happy, eat meals together, change nappies and bring up a family. Go on holiday and clean the dishes.
    – Anything else and you are asking for trouble in a marriage.
    – You know the story of RABBI Moshe Feinstein and the little boy in camp, Reb Moshe was learning one day, but saw a little boy left playing on his own. Reb Moshe got up and started playing ball with him. Why should that little boy be left alone and unhappy if I can make him happy! To be precise Reb Moshe’s middos tovos, which he learnt from the Torah, brought about his great love of Klal Yisroel and made him a true Tsaddik and Godol Hador!

    in reply to: Shidduchim – Divorced Homes #1878360
    GRATEFULBLAC
    Participant

    Dear The Little I know – The person who drafted the question – Opinionated 2 – said she is looking for a long term learner – Not someone who is going to learn for a couple of years and then go to work.

    – Also I was answering the person who said it could not be verified if someone was capable of long term learning. My tests as I agreed are not 100% guaranteed to answer that question but if Opinionated2 insists on marrying a boy who will learn long term then at least she can make some hishtadlus and check up on the suggested shidduch.

    – You are right middos comes first, and I have known brilliant Talmidei Chachomim who were impossible to live with, cruel to their wives and children and marriages that ended up in divorce.
    The same problem applies to the question of whether the shidduch suggestion has good middos – how can that be verified. As the Gemoro says there is no guarantee that someone who is a Tsaddik today will be one tomorrow.

    – To find someone who is genuinely interested in learning long term, capable of it, and not just saying it in order to get a better shidduch, I think the questions I mentioned to verify it are worthwhile. No doubt that Parnossoh is a factor but that is a separate consideration and is easier to verify than the more uncertain questions as to character, Frumkeit, and mental stability.

    in reply to: Shidduchim – Divorced Homes #1878043
    GRATEFULBLAC
    Participant

    @rational -“For those insisting on a full-time-long-term-learning-boy:
    I wonder why a young woman would insist (all or nothing?) on a parameter that she cannot possibly verify with any reasonable degree of confidence.”

    Why can you not verify it – does the boy learn in Yeshivah – check with his Rosh Hayeshiva, his Rebbes, and Chavroses. How well does he learn. What is his level of learning. Does he learn the full sedorim or miss some. Does he go to the Shiur everyday or miss some. Does he learn on a Friday or Shabbos afternoon when there is no seder? etc.

    What is his academic ability- check with the schools/chadorim he went to.

    – Does he plan to learn in Kolel, which Kolel? Does he plan to learn in Eretz Yisroel – where in Eretz Yisroel? Has he a place in Kolel?, check with the Rosh Kolel that it is true.

    – You are right you can not know it a 100% but there is some hishtadlus to be made. I once asked about a certain Bochur and his Rosh Yeshivah said it is true he is in the yeshivah, but he has yet to show up in the Bies Hamedresh, 6 weeks into the zeman. The yeshivah was a BT yeshivah and there was no pressure put on the bochurim to learn!

    in reply to: Shidduchim – Divorced Homes #1877609
    GRATEFULBLAC
    Participant

    Its like any other market – have a go and see what happens.
    – Start by asking for exactly what you want, a boy who wants to learn long-term. See what is offered.
    – Keep this position going for some time until you are ready to make a decision to keep this going or to make a change.
    – Remember there are three positions in negotiations- what you want, what you don’t want, and what you are willing to agree to in order to reach agreement/compromise etc.
    – No one can predict how likely it is for you to get married (divorced home or not), without knowing a million other details about you. How you look, your financial status, your family background, Chassidish or Litvish or Sephardi etc. etc.
    – Good luck!

    in reply to: Being a Ger and BT #1851331
    GRATEFULBLAC
    Participant

    Dear Markiplier,
    Congratulations!

    You have passed your first test in Judaism. You have to realise that to be Jew means to be tested by the Yetzer Horoh who will try by any means necessary to get you to give up on Judaism. Whether you are born Jewish or a convert this is going to happen as that is Satan’s job here, get them to give up.

    Now as you say you converted and the felt put down on the Birthright scheme. But that was Satan’s job to tell you that everyone is looking down on you, laughing at you, rejecting you, making you feel like a second class Jew. But that is just in your head, the Yetzer Horoh grinding you down with the psychological hurt and embarrassment.

    He wants you to give, but G-d does not want you to give up. On the contrary he sent you the test to see how sincere you are.

    Now whatever level you go to in Judaism you will be tested and an attempt will be made to throw you down and out of Judaism. Why, because those are the rules of the game! If you want to have the special privilege of being a yid, learning Torah and doing Mitzvos, “to live in the palace”, you are going to have to fight to for that special right.

    Examine your thoughts, check that you are not being cheated, that it is just your imagination telling you things that are wrong.
    “How do I go back to being frum? ”
    – Say the verse Shema Yisroel every day with concentration.
    – Ask Hashem to get you out of your situation and back into Judaism. Speak to Him and ask him for forgiveness and almost giving up, and ask Him to help you.
    – Buy the Sefer Advice (Likutey Etzot) by Rabbi Nachman of Breslov (Author), Avraham Greenbaum (Translator), go through it slowly. It will help you!
    All the best

    in reply to: Morid haTal #1847031
    GRATEFULBLAC
    Participant

    Do we say TEFILAS TAL quietly ourselves after Mussaf or not say it?

    in reply to: Worst US Presidents #1798954
    GRATEFULBLAC
    Participant

    John F Kennedy’s handling of Bay of Pigs was a total disaster and should rank him as one of the worst Presidents.
    Also he was assassinated, and without getting too much into the conspiracy theories, it appears that there were a number of parties who wanted him dead. He must have done something really bad to get so many parties to agree to have him killed.

    in reply to: Worst US Presidents #1798171
    GRATEFULBLAC
    Participant

    President Carter’s handling of the Iran (American Embassy) Hostage crisis was a total disaster, an embarrassment especially for a major military power Like the US. It eventually brought him down, and got Reagan elected.

    in reply to: uman for Rosh Hashana #1788187
    GRATEFULBLAC
    Participant

    EmesIsTruth – Well said!

    – You said what the obstacles are like to going, internal thoughts and fears, external pressures etc. People putting others off (like in the Rebbe’s story “The Rabbi’s Son”).

    – Like you said if people just wanted to get away from home, they could find a lot nicer places to go that to a small town in the middle of the Ukraine.

    – To go and come away with a taste of true Yiddshkeit and Emunah, its worth all the problems and struggles to get there.

    in reply to: Younger siblings waiting for older to get engaged #1785752
    GRATEFULBLAC
    Participant

    I am the eldest and still unmarried. My younger brother wanted to enter shidduchim and I agreed.
    The Shadchonit was also married to the Av Beis Din. She sought the permission of her husband. Both of us sat before him (Av Beis Din) and he formally asked me if I gave permission to my brother to marry before me.
    I did so and then he told the Shadchonit to go ahead and make suggestions to my borther.

    It that way my permission had been concretized.

    in reply to: Sources for shidduch nisayon #1781538
    GRATEFULBLAC
    Participant

    familygirl – Moden day Shidduchim can be a nisayon – The crisis is not only because everyone is so picky. You cannot choose to which family you were born into. If your family have disadvantages that others reject them for shidduchim, then that is not the fault of the particular boy or girl in the shidduch.

    Money is a particular problem. If you are born into a poor family, or a family whose parents do not have a regular job, you are going to be rejected or at least looked down in the shidduch market place.

    Likewise if you are not particularly good to look at, or physically not beautiful, there is not much you can do about that.

    I would say both of these things and other factors as well are a nisayon from Hashem.

    Likewise of you were born into a non frum family, and are a baal(as) teshuvah, you may be rejected from shidduchim. This is another type of nisayon.

    Just like Dovid Hamelech was ruled before he was King, that he could not marry an Israelite girl because he was a male Moab descendant, that was his particular nisayon. The rejection led him to pour out his heart to Hashem in prayer as the Psalms. When Hashem heard his prayers, not only was the decision reversed but he became King of Israel!

    in reply to: Sources for shidduch nisayon #1780814
    GRATEFULBLAC
    Participant

    Lucy – on page 114 of Advice – Rabbi Nachman of Breslov, (Breslov Research Institute publication), it says-
    no.6 -” When a person is unable to find his Marriage partner, it can help if he goes to hear original Torah teachings from a man of deep wisdom”.

    in reply to: Sources for shidduch nisayon #1780587
    GRATEFULBLAC
    Participant

    laskern – I would suggest you look at the first word in the Possuk – “Vayetzei” Yitchok. It is my suggestion that the Bal Haturim is comparing it to Motzei and Motzoh that the Baal Haturim brings in his explanation. The Baal Haturim is commenting on the odd phrasing. The possuk could have just said Yitchok met Rivka. What is all this going out of the field after supplicating there and then he met his bride to be!

    Although the Baal Haturim does not say that mincha is a most beneficial time to daven for a shidduch, I think there is a smattering of that in his explanation. Also although the Shidduch had been worked out some time before that Mincha prayer – Yitchok didn’t know that!

    in reply to: Sources for shidduch nisayon #1779132
    GRATEFULBLAC
    Participant

    The Possuk in Bereishis Chapter 24.63 says, “Yitchok went out to supplicate in the Field.”

    The Baal Haturim says on that Possuk – to supplicate in the field – “he Sages said that it meant that Yitchok ordained Mincha – the afternoon Prayer. – And it was then that he met Rivka his wife to be. This recalls the verse in Psalms 32.6 – For this let every devout one pray to You at a time of finding.. That word finding refers to a wife as it is written in Proverbs 18.22 – who has found a wife has found a good thing.”
    The Baal Haturim, I would suggest, is telling us that Mincha is a good time to pray for a shidduch.

    in reply to: Over saturated professions in the Frum community. #1774843
    GRATEFULBLAC
    Participant

    I studied Law and became an English Solicitor. However I was not from a family that had powerful connections and found it very hard to get a job in Frum/Jewish or big corporate law firms.
    So I ended up working for a few years in non Jewish small firms and Local Authority Legal departments.

    After a losing my job a number of times, I decided to abandon the profession and join my father in the clothing manufacturing and wholesale trade.

    I would advise to look carefully at what you Father or Grandfather did for parnosoh and whether that has application today.

    in reply to: If There Would be a Jewish Music Hall of Fame.. #1769125
    GRATEFULBLAC
    Participant

    Megama Duo
    Diaspora Yeshivah Band
    Chaim Dovid Sarasik
    Yosef Karduner

    in reply to: Which famous people have you met? #1767631
    GRATEFULBLAC
    Participant

    I once had private yechidus with the present Amshinover Rebbe.
    I once met and got a brochoh from Rabbi Yacov Meir Schechter.
    I once met and had a private meeting with Pschevosk Rebbe in Antwerp.

    in reply to: learning from an artscroll #1765035
    GRATEFULBLAC
    Participant

    MrSarahLevine613 – There was a translation pre Artscroll – it was the Soncino.

    It was like trying to read the English Law Reports. It was like a classical literal translation of the Gemara without much commentary.

    It was no near as good as the Artscroll which not only translates but explains and comments on the Gemara.

    Also Artscroll is a frum organisation producing seforim that have haskomas from our leading Rosh Hayeshivos, Rabbonim, and Gedolei Hador.

    Soncino had no such Haskomas apart from say the English Chief Rabbi at the time of its printing.

    There have been many questions asked of the company particularly about their Chumash and Tenach editions that included commentary from Bible critics, University academics and others. Many people found that learning from such seforim could lead to atheism or agnostic leading to doubts about faith we must have in the words of the prophets.

    Also pre Artsroll there was Marcus Jastrow’s dictionary of the Talmud. Again although acclaimed by University scholars and the like, many frum people had problems with the Author, was he frum?

    Like you said I was not lucky enough to have a chavruso for every seder in Yeshivah and many times I sat there with an open Gemara just staring into space and bored out of my head. If only there was the Artscroll Gemara then I would have had no problems!

    in reply to: MUSIC BY YIDDEN #1753550
    GRATEFULBLAC
    Participant

    Once the music is released the Artist knows that it will be pirated and copies and put on you tube, and steamed and downloaded from a million different places online.
    Is this the same as the owner being meyayish or giving up on ownership rights?

    in reply to: learning from an artscroll #1753547
    GRATEFULBLAC
    Participant

    I have just bought the new Artscroll Tosafos English sefer on Makkos – a tremendous piece of work and it thoroughly explains each Tosafos with backgrounds, footnotes, summaries and plenty of detail.
    What do others think of it.

    Also many of the comments above of learning how to learn in Yeshiva etc. The Yeshivos only cover the most lomdish masechtas, Bobbah Kamma, Yevamos etc. To be able to learn the more technical masechtas like Shabbos and Eruvin, Zavochin, Chullin, Kodshim, Taharos,that are not taught in Yeshivah is not possible without something like the Artscroll or Mesivtah.

    in reply to: Does a convert adopted by frum parents have a bashert? #1739987
    GRATEFULBLAC
    Participant

    Daas Yochid – Who’s “the” shadchan? There’s only one in the world and he’s responsible for anyone who’s not married because they haven’t found their bashert?

    Its the Shadchan that you choose to go to!

    in reply to: Does a convert adopted by frum parents have a bashert? #1739867
    GRATEFULBLAC
    Participant

    “Hmmm….. where is the shadchan?”
    Avi K – If the Shadchan decides not to offer you a shidduch that is really your bashert then it is the Shadchan to blame. It is not always the fault of the boy or girl but of opinionated shadchonim!

    Besides as I said above the way yiddishkeit has been structured today into classes and groups that consciously or subconsciously reject each other means that it is unlikely you are going to meet your bashert. This is not the result of the boy or girl but of how life is!

    in reply to: Does a convert adopted by frum parents have a bashert? #1739300
    GRATEFULBLAC
    Participant

    “when the Gemara says that Hashem decides the Zivhugim for every fetus at conception”

    How does that fit with marrying more than 1 wife, which was prevalent in Klal Yisroel until Cheirem Rabbeinu Gershom, some 1500 years ago?

    I suppose the Mekubolim will say that the neshamoh of one’s zivug was split again and again until all the women you marry are part of the original neshama?

    Anybody got an answer to the question?

    in reply to: Does a convert adopted by frum parents have a bashert? #1738608
    GRATEFULBLAC
    Participant

    I suppose in the times of Nach, everyone went to a Novi – prophet to ask who is their bashert.

    Could you imagine that today, the Novi points to some beggar in the street, there you are, that’s your bashert!

    I’m not going to marry him!

    The question of marrying a bashert as opposed to who you or your family most like to marry, is a complex one. The whole topic is really about emunah – do I really believe in marrying my bashert!

    in reply to: Funny Shidduch Stories #1709746
    GRATEFULBLAC
    Participant

    LOVE WILL TEAR US APART AGAIN
    Once I met a girl on a shidduch,
    Who had on pale makeup,
    Her lipstick was black,
    And her eyeshadow dark,
    And she was dressed as though she was ready for a funeral,
    I said hi there Devorah are you ok,
    And she said yes I like the cemetery,
    I said “are you a goth?”
    and she said “yes,
    there is nothing wrong with that!”
    Oh I said that’s fine I will be back at 9
    And disappeared before she could lock me in a coffin!

    in reply to: Funny Shidduch Stories #1709394
    GRATEFULBLAC
    Participant

    THE SHORTEST SHIDDUCH MEETING EVER
    There once was a girl named Shprinszy,
    who I was to meet for a coffee,
    when I got to the hotel,
    I said hello, I believe you are Sprinkly,
    I mean Sherinsky,
    sorry Shrinky,
    I mean Sheprinsky,
    I am having trouble pronouncing your name Stinky,
    She gave me a look,
    and said that was enough
    and that was the end of that shidduch!

    in reply to: Why do people get nervous when they fly? #1653301
    GRATEFULBLAC
    Participant

    Perhaps someone can help me.
    I have high blood pressure and is controlled by medication. 3 years ago I was due to fly on a routine international trip that I had taken many times before. The day before the trip I had a 24 blood pressure monitor fitted for the day. It recorded my pressure at 230/150 with medication.
    My Doctor advised me that it may be a life threatening risk to fly the next day as my pressure could go higher.
    As soon as I cancelled my blood pressure went back to normal. I haven’t flown since.
    Can anyone advise me what to do to stop my blood pressure rising before flying.

    in reply to: Going to Uman for the Hock #1583343
    GRATEFULBLAC
    Participant

    Neville ChaimBerlin,
    – How many people actually turned up for it (Meron 2015 Rosh Hashanah)?

    in reply to: Going to Uman for the Hock #1582688
    GRATEFULBLAC
    Participant

    Neville ChaimBerlin,

    It was in 2015 that the caption of Meron you pasted above is taken from and it was not Breslov chassidim, it just says thousands of Mispallelim are expected there. What actually happened is not reported.

    HaGaon HaRav Yaakov Meir Shechter Shlita has now established his own centre and Shul in Uman called Kiryah Neemonah. It is absolutely massive. As to why he did not go in the past nobody can be sure.

    in reply to: Going to Uman for the Hock #1581121
    GRATEFULBLAC
    Participant

    mentsch1
    There are many organised kibbutzim for Rosh Hashanah by Rebbes and Yeshivos in EY and none of them attract 60,000 people.
    Someone once spent Rosh Hashanah at the Kotel and there were barely 250 people there.
    I don’t know what makes you think the 60,000 don’t get near the kever, most people are only a few feet away, and in any event the Rebbe said to be in “Uman for Rosh Hashanah”. To be at the Kever on Erev Rosh Hashanah to present a Pidyon, say the Tikkun Hakloli, and daven selichos, Tehillim etc. is the minhag of Breslover chassidim, and for all yidden to go to a Beis Olom on Erev rosh Hashanah I think is brought in Seforim/Mishnah Berurah.

    mentsch1
    If you understood the Kedushah of Rebbe Nachman’s Tziyon in Uman, you probably would not be able to live in the World any more, and in any event Reb Noson (Rebbe Nachman’s main talmid) said ” if I had to go through roads of knives to get to Uman for Rosh Hashanah – I WOULD CRAWL THERE!”

    Neville ChaimBerlin
    That Kibbutz at Rashbi was during the Communist years when no Breslovers could go to Uman. There is no such Kibbutz today as those who made the Rashbi Kibbutz were the first to run back to Uman after the (Berlin!)wall came down in 1989.

    Furthermore there is no “disaster” of Uman because of some hippies going there, Uman is Uman whoever is there and has been a great success for all these years!

    in reply to: Going to Uman for the Hock #1580383
    GRATEFULBLAC
    Participant

    I went 18 times for Rosh Hashanah to Uman between 1997-2015. I stopped going a couple of years ago due to a medical problem.

    I can tell you though that if you do go you will change and experience Yiddishkeit in a new way.

    Does it ever occur to you that it is somewhat amazing that there are 60,000 Jews willing to undertake an arduous trip to the middle of the Ukraine. To leave their families, their homes, their comfort to spend a week there for Yom tov. To pay lots of money to find somewhere to stay, for the flights, the food for Yom tov, the Mikveh, a place in a shul to daven, taxis etc. Is there another gathering anywhere like it? Is there another gathering at home anything like it?

    What’s more only a small percentage of those who go come from a traditional Chassidish background (even smaller those who were born into a Breslov family). Is it not amazing that there are thousands of Yemenites who go! What possible connection could they have had to European Chassidus. Thousands more are Sephardim, Balei Teshuvah, Litvish and Yeshivish. Believe me – Kol Shiftei Yisroel.

    All these Yidden have taken the plunge and gone to Uman for Rosh Hashanah and come back again and again. WHY? You have to go there to find out!

    The Rosh Hashanah Kibbutz in Uman is the biggest rayah to Rebbe Nachman that “My Rosh Hashanah is greater than everything!”

    in reply to: The biggest issue facing the Frum world #1154001
    GRATEFULBLAC
    Participant

    The Shidduch crisis!

    in reply to: Headphone/earphone recommendations, please #1113910
    GRATEFULBLAC
    Participant

    If you want to hear something special try:-

    2)SHURE SE425

    in reply to: ELUL and fear #1105907
    GRATEFULBLAC
    Participant

    I have been going to Uman for Rosh Hashanah for the past few years and a few times I have a night of shaking panic attacks lying in bed.

    The first time was on Rosh Chodesh Elul about ten years ago when I was in bed shaking all night long. I was at home at the time.

    I asked a Rov about it and he told me that it is brought in seforim that it can happen on that date. Apparently there is a sort of shakeup in Shamayim on that date and your neshama feels it!

    The next time I was in UMAN a day or two before Rosh Hashanah and the same thing happened I was in bed and started shaking for 2 hours.

    The next time was 2 nights ago when the same thing happened – I am due to go to Uman next week please G-d, and think it is fear of the trip or fear of the day of Judgement!

    in reply to: Funny Shidduch Stories #1227631
    GRATEFULBLAC
    Participant

    Once met a girl on a shidduch and she turned up in very black coloured clothes, white face makeup and red ruby lipstick.

    I asked if she was a goth, and she said yes.

    I asked her if she thought her husband should be from the living or the dead and she said from the dead.

    Oh I said I don’t think I can marry you then!

    in reply to: The Internet CAN cause harm! #1020843
    GRATEFULBLAC
    Participant

    Hey I saw good results when I decided to use the internet 1 hour less a day. I found I was having problems with it using it at night in particular. So I first decided to not look at it after 8pm every night.

    Although initially I found it hard, I was encouraged by the results. Eventually I found that both my Yiras Shomayim and parnossoh increased, and I was then able to increase it – to not look at it after 6pm at night.

    If you are able to make a small sacrifice in how much you go online, I believe you should try it, Haboh litoher Masayin lo – if you come for purification you will be helped!

    in reply to: Rabbi Avraham Twerski M.D. v.s. Rabbi Lazer Brody #987125
    GRATEFULBLAC
    Participant

    zahavasdad

    I have a friend who has been diagnosed with cancer(lo oleinu) and has been told by the doctors it is not treatable, what then does he have to rely on other than faith?

    WIY

    True Rabbi Twerski is a great Talmud Chochom and Doctor but he was never been sent on a suicide mission for Israel in Beirut, nor was he a special combat soldier like Rabbi Brody. Surely Rabbi Brody has something unique to tell us about Emunah (faith) as he had nothing else to rely on in very difficult situations.

    Whilst I would agree it would be dangerous for anyone prescribed with clinical depression to come off medication, there is always a place for emunah and Tefillah. Whether I can recognise that my medication is from Hashem and who should be thanked accordingly, to praying to Hashem to take the illness away, there is always a place for faith.

    What is clear is there is a side to American Society which is total dependant on pseudo medication such as vitamin supplements.

    ” Have you had your vitamins today” is a question posed by mothers at breakfast tables across America. If those supplements have been prescribed by a doctor, then fine take them. But if it just I think this vitamin, additive, booster etc. will help me in someway then I might be guilty of a false belief. It similar to the quack medicine that existed in Rebbe Nachman’s time which he railed against and advised his followers to keep away from!

    in reply to: Rabbi Avraham Twerski M.D. v.s. Rabbi Lazer Brody #987124
    GRATEFULBLAC
    Participant

    If anyone wants to study properly, the question of medicine and Breslov Chassidus, there is an excellent book on the subject –

    The Wings of the Sun by Avraham Greenbaum.

    The book provides a clear and imformative study of Rebbe Nachman’s teachings on healing and deals with healing generally in Yiddishkeit from the Gemarah, Rambam and Kabalistic sources.

    in reply to: Kabbalah #984794
    GRATEFULBLAC
    Participant

    If it is your destiny to learn Sod then you will be approached by a Mekubal to become his talmid to learn Kabbalah. People who learn Kabbalah are very secretive but can see into people.

    If you are meant to learn Kabbalah then you will be found these teachers who will see that you are pure, normal (ie not mad), and have the intellectual ability to learn such Torah.

    The Gemarah in the second perek of Chagigah describes who kabbalah should be taught to – a person whose soul already knows Kabbalah, or is so spritually aware that the teacher only has to hint to the student and the student knows exactly what the teaching is refering to.

    If you learn Kabbalah seforim yourself and you are not on this level you could risk becoming like the 4 who entered the Pardes (Eden). The Gemara says that 1 went mad, 1 became ill and died and 1 became an apostate. The 4TH Rebbi Akiva was on the level and was allowed to enter and leave without being harmed.

    Even though the meditative kabbalah that these 4 practised is way above anybody today, it still could be harmful to study Kabbalh without proper guidance.

    In particular You tube now sees full of lectures on the Zohar. In video I saw an introduction to the Zohar was given by a man (may e he was Jewish, it was hard to tell) who was not wearing a yamulka, never mentioned G-d in the whole hour of the video and further never mentioned Judaism. He did however say that the Zohar is the secret knoweledge as to how the world really works and is the guidebook for freemasons and other cultish groups.

    If you do want to know something of Sod then you can learn Chabad, Breslov and mussar seforim that will teach such matters safely.

    in reply to: If Jewish writers are so good, why don't they publish secular? #983566
    GRATEFULBLAC
    Participant

    jewishfeminist02 –

    Yes the best fiction is challenging – try James Joyce’s Ullyses, Kafka’s The Trial and Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace, Samual Beckett etc – they are all difficult to read but rewarding in the long run.

    Rebbe Nachman’s stories are also complex but require close attention to detail, repetition and some knowledge perhaps of Breslov Chassidus and Kabbalah. I would recommend Aryah Kaplan’s translation and commentary.

    In some respects there could be thousands of interpretations to the stories and Rebbe Nachman purposely left them opaque and open to each individual to find themselves in the stories.

    My point is in answer to the question whether (Frum) Jewish fiction can be for the secular community also – that no – frum fiction today would not appeal to non Jews as it is written in the style of basic thrillers, and the non Jewish fiction world is already inundated with such fiction and would see nothing appealling in it.

    in reply to: If Jewish writers are so good, why don't they publish secular? #983541
    GRATEFULBLAC
    Participant

    Having read widely I would say the greatest Jewish writer of the frum world of literature is

    1. Rabbi Nachman of Breslov – his stories border on mystical fantasy and create amazing worlds full of beggars with super powers, lost princesses, evil cults etc.

    2. The modern frum writers are somewhat limited by the publishing companies trying to keep the stories within halachic guidelines. Whilst the companies are looking for exciting fiction such as a John Grisham type thriller – the stories have to be filtered through a halachic filter.

    3. Most of the frum thrillers really deal with one plotline – how a non frum person became frum because of a number of bizarre events that took place during their life. Explosions, natural disasters, illnesses, intrigue and crime are frequent in these stories.

    4. In the non Jewish world, thrillers are also looked on as being the bottom of the literary pile. Its what sells and thats all. Their greatest writers – Frank Kafka (who was Jewish), Philip K. Dick, David Wallace Foster, etc were talented enough to be able to write stories that reflect their own thoughts resulting from their creative imaginations, life experience and feelings.

    5. In the frum world thriller writers cannot create a story that shows you what it means to be living a frum life in the modern world. They cannot write what their battles are with sin and taavos(desires), living with poverty and hardship, nor would their publishers want them to. They are then less able to give a true picture of life but create an artificial one where everything works out well in the end. Besides the readers of these books are looking to be entertained and the publishers are looking to make money. Instead of they lived happy ever after with faith in G-d despite the hardship, we are told they lived happily ever after without any hardship!

    in reply to: Going off the Derech #1182519
    GRATEFULBLAC
    Participant

    I am Black But Beautiful!

    Rebbe Nachman of Breslov has a Teaching (famously referred to as Azamra) regarding Judging people favourbly.

    He says that if you judge someone favourbly, concentrating only on their good points rather than their bad ones, you can actually move them out of where they are holding now.

    Is it possible that your son has never done anything good in his life. Has he not done mitzvos, learnt Torah, given charity, said good morning to you, worn a kappel, tsizzit, put on teffilin. Did he ever help you set the table for shabbos, made brochos etc.

    You should spend some time every day thinking about how wonderful your son is.

    An example given by Reb Noson of Breslov about this Teaching is that, The Children of Israel made the golden calf and worshipped it. But they also built the Mishkan. I am Black but Beautiful says King Solomon.

    Your son is beautiful – go and examine his beauty!

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