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  • in reply to: Women’s Suffrage Must End #1729664

    Jam
    Participant

    This is a theoretical discussion, an interesting one actually- so why so much negativity in the comments. For all those concerned I can assure you Joseph does not have the power to reverse women suffrage.

    It is important to know that women suffrage came together with the feminist movement which was a terrible movement. it did bring good along with it but it is hard to judge if the price to pay was worthwhile… The founding mothers of feminism such as Betty Friedan and her side kicks in later years regretted starting the movement. It evolved into something they did not foresee and had no control over. In a nutshell, they completely downgraded the housewife image, thereby destroying the image and respect we all should have for family structure.

    There is also a lot of hypocrisy to be said of this moment. They demanded perfect equality, but in reality they are very happy to be treated differently when it works to their benefits.
    Some examples:
    -Retirement age for women is earlier than men.
    -Women are never included in mandatory drafts in cases of war.
    -In cases of custody, court almost always sides with the mother.

    There are more examples. This is a complex topic.

    in reply to: Gee thanks, anti-vaxxers #1156157

    Jam
    Participant

    Medical school does not designate to vaccines the appropriate time it actually deserves. Doctors do not study vaccines in great detail in medical school. It’s a shame.

    Unless a doctor took the time to do his/her own research, they are not very knowledgeable on the topic. That is an important fact to bare in mind.

    Not too long ago I personally questioned a pediatrician on one of the routine vaccines. (This is a very experienced pediatrician, practicing for over 20 years, his diagnosis are always on target).

    His response was “Did you go to medical school?!?! I sat through all those years of medical school, so why do you think you know better than me!”

    My translation: You don’t have an answer to my question. To avoid answering you are becoming defensive and making me feel uncomfortable challenging/questioning your medical authority. You are also discouraging me from asking questions in the future.

    That was the last time I saw that doctor.

    in reply to: Gee thanks, anti-vaxxers #1156155

    Jam
    Participant

    These people actually took the time to EDUCATE themselves on the topic and challenge their pediatricians with appropriate questions. Despite their hard work and effort, they are battling a society of people that never took the time to learn all the facts.

    Every story has two sides. Learn both sides before you start forming biased opinions.

    in reply to: Is every other Woman on Zoloft? #837930

    Jam
    Participant

    This is all just the tip of the iceberg….

    in reply to: Is every other Woman on Zoloft? #837925

    Jam
    Participant

    No need to discriminate against genders, there are plenty of men on meds as well.

    In the secular world practically every ‘type A’ personality is on zoloft. It is so common that you dont even need a psychiatrist to prescribe it to you- you can get it from your regular Dr.

    This medication trend is seeping into our community. Maybe you feel that it isnt necessary for some pple, but the facts are that they help pple cope. Many use zoloft as an antianxiety, and not necessarily for depression. It helps them lead productive lives in a way in which they woulndt be able to w/o it.

    Is it ideal? absolutey not.

    There are surely alternate ways in dealing with anxiety or depression (that isnt severe). However some pple choose this path, and it definitely works.

    in reply to: If you've read "NASI Project Responds", have you changed your mind? #847694

    Jam
    Participant

    Dr. Pepper- Fistly, your welcome! It’s nice to know there are still pple out there who appreciate a civil disagreement.

    Secondly, you raised quite a few valid points. However, what isn’t so clear to me is:

    “the yeshiva structure was designed so that talmidim have minimal responsibilities so they can devote their full energy towards their learning. Marriage is an enormous responsibility.”

    Marriage IS a huge responsibility. But apparently the boys we are talking about don’t actually carry this burden until they are married for at least 2-3 years (some even longer). These boys are being supported from head to toe either by their in-laws or by their wives. They dont have any parnasah worries. (I’m speaking about the majority, I am sure there are exceptions…)

    so my question is, why cant a 20 year old boy get married and continue learning the SAME THREE SEDARIM per day?

    There will be some adjustments… it’s not exactly like living in a dorm. But will his learning be compromised? Will he suddenly be at risk for divorce??

    in reply to: If you've read "NASI Project Responds", have you changed your mind? #847684

    Jam
    Participant

    Dr. Pepper- I disagree with you. Look around at people/communities that marry young. They have very high statistics of happy marriages. (and those that are divorced- i dont believe it had anything to do with thier age. They were not suited for eachother from day one. Put together the same two poeple three years later and they still wouldn’t be compatible).

    Papper- “The boys are too immature”

    Maturity comes with responsibility, not with age.

    Look around, there are plenty of 30 and 40 year olds that are on the maturity level of a five year old.

    in reply to: If you've read "NASI Project Responds", have you changed your mind? #847670

    Jam
    Participant

    This letter definitely puts things in to perspective. I am not anti this project, and I believe people need to stop being so critical. Nasi is only trying to HELP. If you dont agree with them, you dont have to join their project- simple as that.

    However, I do agree with gavra. The real and effective change will be when boys join the shidduch island at 19.

    Like the artical stated: “we caused the tragedy”.

    in reply to: Platonic Relationships #810058

    Jam
    Participant

    There is NO such thing as platonic relationships. Simple as that!

    I highly recommend you listen to R’ Orlofsky’s speech on platonic relationships. It is very informative ( it was for me) and entertaining. You can find it on his website and its free.

    in reply to: Let's be clear. #796827

    Jam
    Participant

    sorry, theres a typo in my post. I meant to write “label HIM as’

    in reply to: Let's be clear. #796825

    Jam
    Participant

    bombmaniac-

    correct me if I’m wrong, but as far as I remember personality disorders are classified under asix II in the DSM-IV. So technically it is a mental illness.

    (dont worry, I am not justifying what that monster did. I dont care what psychologists label his as, he is 1000% guilgy in my eyes)

    Btw- thanxs for sharing ‘part 2’

    in reply to: Hungarian Yidden #789565

    Jam
    Participant

    Derech hamelech-

    “Chandeliers in the bathroom”- definitely a hallmark 😉

    (there are other clues too…..)

    in reply to: Hungarian Yidden #789560

    Jam
    Participant

    I think its specifically the Oberlander Hungarians who carry the shtultz and appreciate when things are exquisite and admirable.

    (I actually find it kind of facinating- walking in to jewish home and you can sort of tell if they are decendants of hungarians or non-hungarians)

    in reply to: Eating disorders… #795713

    Jam
    Participant

    blabla,

    I know of someone who I believe is anorexic. She is already underwight, and yet still dieting… skipping meals… not eating at all….

    She is constantly saying how she is gaining wieght and needs to work on loosing more wieght… (sort ot the typical signs)

    Anyway, do to technical reasons- I cant approach a higher athority or professional (although I wish I could). so I was wondering if you (as someone who is going through this, and understands the other side) can give me any suggestions that I can tell her that may help her…. ? is there anything that helps you sort of overcome the distortion?

    any suggestions would be quiet helpful. Thanks in advance!

    in reply to: Eating disorders… #795706

    Jam
    Participant

    Minyan gal- ur 100 percent right.

    What I meant (and perhaps I wasn’t so clear) is that they start off by ‘dieting/starving to just be 1 or 2 sizes smaller’ and from there its downhill…

    Like you said its usually not in girls who were obese. Their goal at first was just to loose ‘a few’ lbs.

    in reply to: Eating disorders… #795701

    Jam
    Participant

    Anorexia nervosa is the psychiatric disorder with the highest mortality rate.

    kind of scary in my opinion.

    I dont think many of those girls who starve themselves ‘to just be one size smaller’ realize how deadly this disorder is.

    Its a vicious cycle, and once ur in it- its sort of too late…..

    in reply to: Is Levi Aron crazy #786541

    Jam
    Participant

    He is NOT crazy.

    He is Cruel, Evil, Wicked, Hideous, Repulsive, Ruthless and Monstrous.

    I dont like when people refer to him as crazy, because a crazy person is not accountable for his actions- and this monster definitely is!

    Someone who is truly diagnosed as psychotic is not capable of driving a car, paying a dental bill, responsibly coming on time to work, or disposing a body in an ORGANIZED fashion.

    in reply to: Getting over a break up #1062763

    Jam
    Participant

    Shlishi- it seems to me (from your comment above) that u haven’t been personally introduced to the shidduch parsha yet. And if you have, then you haven’t gone out with anyone too seriously. (I may be wrong, it’s just my gut feeing)

    in reply to: women of Beit Shemesh #771007

    Jam
    Participant

    It is not more tznius! I believe it goes under the category of ba’al tosif.

    in reply to: wedding dresses and walking down the aisle #770263

    Jam
    Participant

    shlishi- good question!

    I didnt say it came from avoda zora. What I meant is that this custom originally stemmed from christian weddings which take place in churches. The general format of christian weddings: center aisle, and pple seated to the right and left of the aisle.

    If you’ve ever been to a chuppa in Erets Yisroel, you’d see that it’s run very differently…..

    in reply to: wedding dresses and walking down the aisle #770261

    Jam
    Participant

    Walking down the aisle came from the church.

    in reply to: what made you choose your screen name? #889517

    Jam
    Participant

    brotherofurs – I always understood your screen name as

    ‘brother of furs’ , and I thought you were someway involved with

    furs. Oh well….. thanxs for the clarification.

    in reply to: Kosher beach? #751300

    Jam
    Participant

    I recently heard (I’m not sure if this is 100% correct, and i dont have a source for it) if a girl is in a place where there are only goyim (meaning- no jewish men) she does not have to be 100 percent tznius.

    For example, if she is on a far off beach where there are NO jewish men, its ok for her to wear short sleaves, shorter skirt, no socks etc.

    Just wondering if anyone else heard of this, and if theres a source

    in reply to: Publicly hang terrorists Eichmann style. Agree? #749832

    Jam
    Participant

    making a public example of these murderers would definitely cause future terrorists to think twice before commiting more terror.

    in reply to: Murder in Itamar ~~~~ whose fault? #748820

    Jam
    Participant

    Kahana Tzadak!

    (for real)

    in reply to: concerts #748783

    Jam
    Participant

    “it is not ok to sit next to the oppisite gender why do ppl go to mixed concerts??”

    I am not advocating mixed concerts. However, since when is it forbidden to sit next to the opposit gender? Have you never sat next to the opposit gender on a train/bus ?

    in reply to: boys thoughts on girls #746027

    Jam
    Participant

    I think this thread is self explanatory without any comments posted.

    (but feel free to share your thoughts… its a free country…)

    in reply to: Ladies, do you say ??? ???? ???? and ??? ???? ????? #745477

    Jam
    Participant

    I was tought to say “MODA ani l’fanecha” in the morning instead of “mode ani”

    in reply to: Women & Girls Out There: I Really, Really Need Your Help!!!! #747778

    Jam
    Participant

    mytake- I couldn’t agree more with you! I’m a huge fan of Gila Manolsons books, and strongly recommend them to anyone who feels they need a chizuk boost in tzinius.

    (I found that her books had a much stonger impression on me then R’ Falks book- which was the primary tznius sefer tought in my school. R’ Falk sefer mainly focuses on halacha aspects, and i believe that to truly internalize tznius you need to hear more than just a list of rules….)

    in reply to: Hilchus Yichud #744243

    Jam
    Participant

    observanteen- “It was totally assur!(It was past 11:00)”

    The fact that it was past 11 doesn’t necessarily make it assur. Timing depends on how populated the location is at the hour. Less populated areas may be considered yichud in a much earlier time than higher populated areas. (and vise versa)

    Either way, I’m glad you stuck to your guts- its a good midda!

    in reply to: Women & Girls Out There: I Really, Really Need Your Help!!!! #747765

    Jam
    Participant

    ” My winning argument to myself this morning was: “Mytake, you are not seriously gonna go out looking like this! You look way too good in this to be sharing it with the general population out there! You will save this look for your husband one day”

    Mytake, you truly inspired me!!!

    I wish they would tell some of this kind of stuff to the BY girls in HS, its very important and helpful to understand the reasoning for tznius. All i ever remember hearing is:

    “your a beautiful diamond! If you would own an expensive glittering diamond ring- you surely wouldn’t flaunt it, you would keep it locked away….”

    And all i remember thinking is:

    “no I wouldn’t! I would wear it,and i would flaunt it! whats the point of owning a diamond ring and not wearing it ?!?!

    It took me till i got to Sem to realize that they forgot all about the nimshal- which is the most important part!

    Thanks again mytake 🙂

    in reply to: is there really a shidduch crisis??? #744687

    Jam
    Participant

    Every guy who gets married, marries a girl. (Surprise!)

    So the ratio of guys to girls getting married is 1:1

    So technically speaking, there is no shidduch crises.

    in reply to: Need help with baby! #743410

    Jam
    Participant

    “he scrame for an hour straight until I could take it no more.”

    Please dont let your child scream for a full hour. Its unacceptable.

    in reply to: PURYM! PURYM! PURYM! PURYM! PURYM! PURYM! #743514

    Jam
    Participant

    s2021- blueprints is from Britian, they spell some things differently there

    in reply to: Women & Girls Out There: I Really, Really Need Your Help!!!! #747681

    Jam
    Participant

    “This shouldn’t be a big problem, since after you are 16 or so you won’t be getting taller anymore. “

    We may not be growing taller, but some of us are unfortunately still growing wider. 😉


    Jam
    Participant

    Aggressive driving is never pleasant, but its especially uncomfortable on a date. Genereally, if i’m in a car with an aggessive driver its usually someone I know(ex. brother, father, uncle…) So even though I dont appreciate being bopped over pot holes, i still trust them and therefore trust their driving.

    On the other hand, on a date- where i’m sitting next to a complete stranger who is cutting off every second car, and short stopping 3mm before a yellow light…. for all i know the next second he may decide to drive into a pole.

    Also, a date is supposed to be calm, unhurried, peaceful…

    if the guy is speeding and jerking it gives an unpleasant feeling.


    Jam
    Participant

    Aggressive driving is a huge turn off.

    in reply to: Men going to nursing school #745936

    Jam
    Participant

    aries2756- you are a 100 percent right! I’m glad there is someone here who actually knows what they are talking about.

    There is NO SHORTAGE OF NURSES IN THE TRI-STATE AREA! unless you are planning on practicing nursing in South Dakota or Idaho, i suggest you look into another proffesion. (Regardless if ur a girl or boy)

    I personally know of 2 nursing graduates in NY, who are looking for jobs for close to a year. That is a very long time!

    It may be possible to get jobs in other settings, but the hospital is the ideal place to master the skills taught in school, and if fresh nursing grads aren’t being accepted into the hospitals… thats a problem…..

    in reply to: cousins marrying each other #742640

    Jam
    Participant

    Its a mitzvah for a man to marry his neice.

    in reply to: should i break the shidduch #740041

    Jam
    Participant

    “no one that i know dates before 24- 25”

    I don’t know who you know but I surely know many yeshiva guys who are married with a kid (or even 2) by the time they are 24-25. I also dont understand why learning with hasmadah is a reason to push off marriage these days, being that you will probably demand full support of the girl for the next 10…15… perhaps even 30 years, so that you can continue learning with hasmada.

    in reply to: should i break the shidduch #740031

    Jam
    Participant

    First of all, whats wrong if she is 25? YOU ARE 26!!!!! The age fits. Why would you look to go out with a girl thats more than a half a decade younger than you!?!?

    About the weight, you really have to be careful because often poeple exagerate or interpret things differently.

    Also, you should definitely consult your LOR before canceling a date that you already agreed upon, it’s not a simple issue….

    ( My sister was once scheduled to go out with a guy for a 2nd date. A day before the date my parents found out information which clearly indicated the shidduch wasn’t for my sister. They asked a Rav and he said that you cant back out on your word, and she should go out)

    in reply to: Please help me. PLEASE!! #879129

    Jam
    Participant

    numbers for Camp Bais Yaakov of The Rockies:

    Office: 720-932-6877 or 303-893-1333

    Good Luck!

    in reply to: Mayo #736963

    Jam
    Participant

    I meant canola oil

    in reply to: Mayo #736962

    Jam
    Participant

    Gefen recently came out with light mayo made from conola oil (so no saturated fat) Its a bit more expensive, but in my oppinion difinitely worth it.

    I’m a huge fan of Gefen mayo, and Thommy mayo.

    Hellman’s is simply not my taste. Yes, I know that can be shocking.

    in reply to: Please help me. PLEASE!! #879123

    Jam
    Participant

    Theres also some sort of Bais Yaakov camp that tours the Colorado (or canadian) Rockies. I spoke to a few girls that went 2 summers ago, and they said it was an amazing experience. (I can find out more info for u if ur interested)

    in reply to: Please help me. PLEASE!! #879122

    Jam
    Participant

    you can try applying to Oorah’s girl zone. from what I’ve heard the staff is definitely bais yaakov crowd and its not the typical camp experience. You have to feel comfortable working in a kiruv environment and be VERY dovoted and commited. Its a huge mitzvah and very rewarding.

    in reply to: Dating a maybe gentic carrier #733448

    Jam
    Participant

    I meant hereditary.

    in reply to: Dating a maybe gentic carrier #733447

    Jam
    Participant

    Down Syndrome is definitely not heriditary. (Google it if your unsure)

    in reply to: "cool", "with it" #720898

    Jam
    Participant

    blueprints, u must surely be from England.

    ( “trousers” and “primary school” gave it away)

    in reply to: Fiction?…………..or Fact! #717760

    Jam
    Participant

    My grandmas favorite:

    If you sit at the corner of the table u’ll be in shidduchim a long time.

    Also, dont pass the baby over the table. (that one probably originated because there was hot soup on the table)

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