Forum Replies Created
Buddy, it’s a lair harder to be consistent with shmiras einaneim than it is to make your own lunch. Also, I AISpext there’s probably delivery.
If you’re posting this question to the coffee room, you’re not ready.
Find a rebbe/mentor that you’re comfortable with who knows you.
Hatzlacha rabbah!!September 15, 2017 3:14 pm at 3:14 pm in reply to: Lakewood’s Traffic becoming unbearable, any solutions? #1364452
Try evacuating south Florida before a hurricane. You’ll never complain about Lakewood again.September 11, 2017 8:14 am at 8:14 am in reply to: Why is the frum world seeing more divorces while it’s dropping by the secular? #1360232
One good reason that the goyish divorce rate is low is cause they don’t bother getting married in the first place.July 12, 2017 1:00 pm at 1:00 pm in reply to: Every Menahels Difficult Dillema, the underperforming career rebbi. #1315895
This will not solve the immediate problem of underperforming rebbeim but it could prevent this problem in the future.
Schools must offer mandatory professional development for their staff. I’d been teaching for 25 or more years when I attended classes that were true “game-changers”. They definitely improved my methods and gave me valuable insights into my students mind-sets. Yesh chochma bagoyim and if it’ll help us not only teach better but impart the sweetness of Torah, we should take advantage of every opportunity.
Thank you, 147, for injecting a note of optimism here!
Yes, it’s annoying when people don’t respect kedushas bais hak’nesses even at the holiest of botei k’neisios.
But it’s a reminder that we’re still in golus, even at the kosel, even in Yerushalayim.
Her friend is Sarah Saks from 5th Ave.
Ganook de Laurent
Best book ever!August 24, 2014 11:49 am at 11:49 am in reply to: Overprotective Parents in the Brooklyn Jewish Community #1029426
Dear Dedicated Counselor,
I commend your concern for your campers! I am sure that you have made a huge difference in the lives of these children.
It’s sad, but times have changed. Many parents are wary, even when it’s not justifiable. Should they be “dan” your intentions “l’chaf z’chus”, sure. But at the same time, they’d rather err on the side of caution for their kids.
Bracha v’hatzlacha to you!
I don’t think that bad manners, or lack of social awareness, has anything to do with being Yeshivish or not. There are no shortage of creeps, anywhere.
Here’s the thing: If a girl is average to tall, an inch or two really doesn’t matter all that much. But if a girl is on the short side already, and they guy is even shorter, I could see it bothering the girl. You also then wonder what the cheshbon of the shadchan was, or if there was any besides height.June 18, 2014 11:17 pm at 11:17 pm in reply to: Would U let U'r daughter marry some/1 with that yarmulka? #1020595
Rabbosai, with all due respect, must we start threads that could potentially lead to loshon hora when the whereabouts of the 3 Israeli boys are still unknown? Please!
Target, TJMaxx, Marshalls, Nordstrom, Macy’s, etc, all have long, tzniusdik skirts for anywhere between $15 – $25. It’s a great time to be makpid on tznius and be in style!
Mazal Tov! Thank you for sharing this good news in the CR!
So I would guess it’s the same cheilek of Shulchan Aruch that “allows” people to speak loshon hora.
Truth be told, even close friends and relatives often set couples up for reasons that have very little to do with future compatibility – like height!
It is certainly logical that close friends and relatives would have a better chance at setting people up successfully, but in my family the exact opposite was true. Two of my children’s shidduchim came about through near-strangers. Just goes to show that it really is siyata dishmaya!
Are you talking about applying for the coming year? It’s definitely a little late!
WHAT IS LEKVAR???????????????????? DID I JUST SEE THAT QUESTION?????
Lekvar is prune filling for the BEST hamantashen on the planet, although my husband would argue that it is poppy…
There’s never an excuse for verbal abuse.
Oh, and I seem to remember Yigal Calek at some earlier HASC concerts, but I don’t know how long ago. The LS of JS was still around in the 90’s, I think.
Wow – what a blast out of the past! Answering your second question first, Children of Silence was about Soviet Jews, a hot topic in the 70’s. Sali Umetzudosi comes from Tehillim kapitel 18 posuk 3, based on the shira that Dovid said after being saved from Shaul [again]. That is found in Shmuel Beis 22.
Apparently there is some hierarchy as to who gets to wear long and who can wear short, depending on how close you are to the kallah. This corresponds to the order in which she will dance with you.
Also, you want to remember that many shidduchim are made at weddings, so you do want to look good – not over the top, but people will be looking for their nephews and neighbors’ sons…
Finally, have no fear because I hear that there are gmachs for “friends of kallahs dresses”!
How amazing would it be to have had this thread started by teachers who asked how to build a kesher with their students?
Start off with one who you think is the most approachable… and then just ask if she has time to shmooze.
Don’t know of that source but I think some of it was used during the time of Yehoshua when he was fighting for the Givonim and the sun stood still.
You give a bad name to yekkes if you don’t quote psukim exactly.November 7, 2013 11:52 am at 11:52 am in reply to: How much do you give your wife per week for the family budget? #987956
Thank you for moderating, mod 18. I was kinda wondering what was supposed to be paid with $700.
I have a feeling that what Rabbi Wallerstein was alluding to is that gambling is known as an addiction. Though people do gamble occasionally (I think everybody used to make the once a year trip to Atlantic City when I was a kid..) it has been shown to be a slippery slope. If you know you have an addictive type of personality, it’s probably best to stay away.
I think that even gedolim set reasonable goals -even “small” ones – and certainly this is encouraged by roshei yeshiva and mashgichim.
i think we need to start serving caffinated coffee around here…
This is more than stam a yahrzeit. It was and continues to be a national trauma. During the days and weeks after the attacks, there was tremendous achdus, amongst acheinu bnei Yisroel and New Yorkers all over. Please let’s not lose it now. Let people continue to grieve on their terms, and let’s be there for one another.
Anyone who thinks it is better to divorce than break an engagement should not be going out! Divorce is far more traumatic for each party, it is often messy, and who is to say that it would not involve children, potentially? As a parent, I would also not dismiss the crazy costs involved with making a wedding, all for nothing.
taom: I AM a teacher and while I can say that every teacher does enjoy July and Aug, I am sure that your teacher would be happy to speak to you and will be careful not to spread information. Hatzlacha Rabbah!
While I take issue with the title of the thread, cause you can’t take medicine to become an anything, much less a gadol, I think the parents should go with the meds. Nothing is more important than the boy’s self esteem. He NEEDS to survive and do well in school. There are a lot of heavy demands placed on our young teens and if the meds will help him focus, go for it.
MACY’s is definitely worth a try. My daughter got her vort dress there. It needed a kiki riki but was otherwise good to go. My other daughter got her vort suit at a frum store for about 3x the price, and hasn’t worn it more than 5 times.
I think that at the back of the biography of Rebbetzin Kanievsky there is a tefila neged ayin hara.
WIY – I have not interviewed every OTD person out there, or everyone who stayed on the derech. Yes, drugs can pull a wringer on your brain, with permanent affects. Certainly any recklessness in tznius – for boys and girls – will have long lasting affects. That is not to say that people who have not experimented with drugs don’t have their own battles to fight. What about all the underage drinking that is accepted in so many Yeshivos, even by the “good boys”?
It’s a very confusing world out there, and it scares me that so many adults don’t seem to have gotten solid grounding in hashkafa. These are the people bring up the OTD kids!
So my 9 days tefila is for the time of the geulah when the Navi says “V’heishiv lev avos al bonim v’lev bonim al avosam”.
Thanks, jewish feminist, for taking the words right off of my keyboard in response to WIY. Yes, the lifestyle of kids who go OTD may certainly be reckless in many respects, but once they do tshuva -for real – they do emerge with a strength that many FFBs who stayed on the derech envy. And yes, if you are a human being, chances are you are battling something. I have yet to find a person with absolutely perfect middos, whose parents had absolutely perfect middos.
The good news is that many people who go off the derech do eventually come back, and when they come back they are as shtark as shtark can be.
Dad – What is it exactly that you don’t understand? Why kids, and adults, btw, go OTD? Why people react to them in negative ways?
I certainly agree that most people, especially those that are relatively untouched by this phenomenon, don’t understand a lot about the dynamics of OTD. I just wanted to make sure I understood your statement in the way you meant it.
I think that it would help Klal Yisroel if EVERYBODY became a shadchan. Honestly, other than having a pile of pink index cards and blue index cards as your “database”, what kind of higher education is required here? Shidduchim come about from some highly unlikely meetings – often at weddings, but I’m not getting into the whole mixed seating thing.
Seriously, people, the only way to get a track record going is to just keep trying. Obviously you have to have a theory as to why these 2 ppl might click… but at the end of the day, just try it. You never know.
WIY – You’re right about chinuch going a long way. But don’t underestimate the power of bad teachers… A difficult school situation really takes its toll.June 5, 2013 5:00 pm at 5:00 pm in reply to: What problems can you think of in this sticky Halachic case? #957480
Yichud, yichud and yichud. It’s a d’oraisa, so your problems start and end there.May 28, 2013 12:52 am at 12:52 am in reply to: Message From Harav Yaakov Bender About Serious Drinking Problem In Frum Communit #1084979
147 – I am not sure what cave you live in, but it would seem to me that “kiddush clubs” are everywhere, and bochurim are getting trashed over Shabbos nearly everywhere. Rabbi Bender is 100% correct in his assessment of the problem. There are no limits anymore.
As far as the smoking, this is also an obvious problem but more people admit that it is a problem than they will admit to the drinking. We are mandated by halacha to drink on certain occasions, and people have exploited this to the point of addiction, but we never have a mitzvah to put a cigarette in our mouths…
All the other posters were pretty eloquent and I think you got the message… Parents really do care. Some do not express their caring well, but in their heart of hearts they really all want the best way of life for their kids.
I just want to add that for many of us parents who did not grow up so “to the right” and maybe had tv’s at home, or watched a movie now and then, and then tried to convince their children that their lives were so much better without these “evils”… well, I sympathize with the kids who can’t quite figure out how what was accepted in frum circles a mere generation ago gets you thrown out of Yeshiva now. The frum oilam has taken quite a leap – a very necessary one, I might add, but I’m old and I understand why I don’t have a tv! There needs to be a kosher outlet for kids that can compete with what they feel they’re lacking. Any ideas?
seems like there are lots of rabbis right here in the CR.
I once heard it came from D’Avinan – like our fathers. When we call out to Hashem, we behave like our fathers.
TorahTorah: Oops. The pink book was called Daughters of Destiny but I really can’t recall who published the book. BY Baltimore’s was something called the Legacy of Bais Yaakov.
There were far less differences at the beginning because in those early years of rebuilding Torah in the US after the Holocaust, there was simply no room for devisivness! Nothing was taken for granted, not in gashmiyus and not in ruchniyus.
There should be one comprehensive book written on the subject of the growth of the BY movement here in the US. Meantime, there are several books that deal with the subject, like the biography of the Benders and the lesser known but very excellent publication put out by Bais Yaakov of Baltimore probably about 15 years ago. Don’t remember what it was called, but it was pink…February 13, 2013 9:49 pm at 9:49 pm in reply to: Help With ADHD Child – Anyone Have Any Info To Help? #929710
I am a teacher who has seen medication work wonders in some students, but not make too much of a difference in others. Several questions: Does the child have other learning disabilities that could be blocking the way for classroom attention? If so, the medication wouldn’t cure those. Also, I have quite honestly never heard of a diagnosis being on a scale of 1 -10. Either he has it, or he doesn’t. I am happy for the child that he is not hyperactive – that’ll keep him from getting into serious trouble, but ADD is still difficult. BTW, keeping attention for 30 minutes is pretty impressive.
Treating ADD/ADHD with medication is tricky and most parents go through some trial and error before they hit upon a good solution. Most will start with the homeopathic approach, and if it doesn’t work they will resort to the real meds out of desperation.
When did the child’s symptoms start? If he only started this past year,maybe he just has a boring Rebbe.
I wouldn’t want to inhibit anyone’s feelings or get in the way of a good rant, but sometimes I can’t even understand what it is they’re ranting about!