oomis

How is that gneivas daas? I don’t watch this, so I am not certain of the events, but if they are showing them the home in order to show them it is NOT affordable and that they need to cash a reality check, why is that not a GOOD thing for them? The property brothers are doing it for a tachlis to show the buyers that they need to broaden their search for something they really CAN afford to buy, and not to have pipe dreams. Maybe I am misunderstanding what you posted…

(Real Brisker)

“but if they don’t do that then they must be doing their chessed because they are having fringe benifets from it? “

How did you extrapolate and infer this from what I wrote? Who mentioned fringe benefits? You seem to have a problem RB, I am sorry to say, in that you dig in your heels and continue to fruitlessly attempt to defend your position, which has dumbfounded so many of us. How can you truly not understand the VERY simple notion that doing a chessed is no chessed (no matter how proud one might feel about oneself for volunteering one’s ultimately half-baked efforts), when it does not properly actually HELP the recipient of that chessed? Do you really not see that?

To make it really simple – if for example, I want to cook a meal for someone who is R”L sitting shiva, I am going to find out if there are any food allergies, or if the aveil is diabetic, etc. before I cook a meal as a chessed, that he absolutely cannot eat, and which will only take up space in his fridge. I will (when I deem necessary) even check to see if the family only eat from a certain hashgocha, or cholov Yisroel, or the like. That’s because I want to be HELPFUL in doing my chessed, not merely feel “What a tzadeikes am I, to do XYZ for that person!” It is definitely not helpful to leave a choleh waiting on shpilkes for a ride that is very late with no phone call to let him/her know what’s happening. For all the choleh knows, the ride forgot about picking him up altogether (that happened to me personally with a carpool).

Hashem should bensch you with good health, that you should never be in the position that person was in. You ought to try standing in the other person’s shoes before continuing to express your truly insensitive comments about beggars being choosers. That was just plain offensive to ALL the people who have been treated to such “chessed.”

Beautiful, meaningful, and well-said. Yasher Koach.

The crunch is Viennese crunch, no recipe, ya gotta buy it. it is a combination of chopped almond or hazelnut-covered toffee, I guess. So if you are of a mind to make your own toffee and cover it with chopped nuts, I think you’re better off buying it ready made. Some people use Heath Bars (?), but whatever it’s called, I think those are milchig.

I actually used to use a Duncan Hines mix, because the trifle assembly takes time, and it was just one less thing to do. I used to have an amazing from scratch devil’s food cake that I made for many years, but the DH cake mix tasted almost exactly like it, and I potchked with enough things that I cooked and baked from scratch, that this didn’t have to be one of them. The irony is that nowadays I have to do everything for my family from scratch again, because of a severe allergy to nuts and seeds that a family member has, so I cannot use most of the prepared mix items.

I take medication, but my doc was so happy with my Hemoglobin

A1c, that he cut me down to half a dose, B”H. The weight loss, of course is the first line of defense. As soon as I got serious about lowering my carb intake to only complex carbs, there was an immediate change. Everyone keep up the good work, and keep the numbers down.

My trifle is similar. I make a chocolate cake (you can use Duncan Hines Devil Food mix, if you like) in two 8 or 9″ layers (depending on the size of my trifle bowl). I freeze them until very firm but not completely solidly frozen, then slice them in half horizontally, so I now have 4 layers of chocolate cake. I make the chocolate pudding with the whip (2 pks pudding to three cups pareve milk or whip), and either whip another Haddar whip together with a vanilla package of pudding, or flavor it with rum extract and just whip it up as is. I take a box of Viennese crunch (like Shufra’s), seal it in a large ziploc bag and bang it with a hammer until it is coarsely crunched. Then I take one layer of cake and put it in the trifle bowl, pressing it into the walls of the bowl so it comes up slightly, throw on a layer of chocolate whip, then sprinkle on a layer of crunch, then a layer of vanilla, then more crunch, then the second layer of cake,always pushing down slightly on the cake layer, to force the edges of the whip and crunch to go slightly up the side, which looks so pretty. Then more chocolate whip, crunch, vanilla whip more crunch, third layer of cake, etc. The last thing should be a layer of vanilla whip covered with a layer of crunch on top. I put saran wrap to cover it then put it in the freezer until a half hour before serving. Freeze ti for several hours initially, or overnight. This is a spectacular looking and tasting dessert.

oomis1105 – CONGRATS on losing weight too! ‘

Thanks, Princess. I just read this now. I am working really hard at it (though I fell off the wagon a bit on Chanukah). I need to watch the weight because of the sugar.

Prediabetics – you CAN reverse the course of the disease, it is NOT inevitable if you take steps now to rpevent it. PLEASE do whatever you have to do. You will thank yourself later.

Feif Un, I KNOW that, but I cannot eat the fried version or a potato ANYTHING these days 🙁

Bottom line – if you are going to do a chessed, do it as a chessed. If you cannot do it, then let someone else get the mitzvah. Though you get some brownie points for every aspect of the tovos you do, maybe the reason we call it gemilus chassadim, is that if you are not “gomeil” the chessed, meaning doing a COMPLETE chessed in every aspect, it is not really a chessed.

Daas Yichid, we are really looking at the same idea semantically differently, though I really do believe that just as Tzedaka is not charity, neither is a favor necessarily chessed, though it may be a chessed to do a favor for someone. When the favor ceases to have kindness and thoughtfulness as well as a full heart behind it, though it still may be doing a favor, it simply does not have (for me, anyway) the same connotation as a chessed. Chessed comes from ahavas habrios. A shrewish woman breaking up with a guy because he is not rich enough to suit her, is doing him a favor. Wait, scratch that, it might actually be a chessed 😉

Never mind.

Sarah – Sarai (also known as Yiscah)

Interesting thing, the original famous “Siamese Twins” were actually Chinese brothers, Chang and Eng.

Both husbands and wives (and mothers and fathers) should make a concerted effort to notice the things that we do for each other and express our appreciation. Yes, even for things we take for granted that must be done every day. If we cannot notice and appreciate these things that the people in our lives do for us, how can we notice and appreciate what the RBSO does for us every minute of every day?

Pictionary is a LOT of fun. Charades, too.

Help! I need a latke recipe that is healthy for a diabetic, low glycemic index, and low-calorie, as well. I heard that cauliflower latkes are good, but I don’t have a recipe.

My Chanukah is not about

The gifts or gelt that we give out.

It’s not about the clothes or toys

Received by all our girls and boys.

It calls to mind a wondrous neis

With which Hashem showed us His Grace.

And on that day of great import,

His miracles were of a spectacular sort.

The Greek king tried to wipe us out,

Erase our bitachon, create some doubt.

But we stood by steadfastedly

As he did things most dastardly.

A woman lost her seven sons,

They were among the bravest ones.

Another fed dairy to a Greek

Whose head on a pike she went to seek.

So many died al Kiddush Hashem,

But we persisted, in spite of “them.”

And when our sonim were defeated,

The Maccabees’victory was not yet completed.

Into our Beis Hamidash they walked with care

Looking for holy remnants there.

They found but one small cruse of oil

That our enemies did not yet spoil.

They lit the Menorah with trepidation

And Hashem made a miracle for the Jewish Nation.

For what was to last just one short day,

For eight instead, lit up our way.

And now we make our celebration

As a very special commemoration

Of all the nissim Hashem did then

And continues to do again and again.

My Chanukah is not about material things

Like gifts of clothing, toys, or rings.

It’s about loving our Torah and sacrifice,

And emunah for which we don’t think twice.

It’s about the Jewish people, the Chosen Nation,

About mesiras nefesh and dedication.

And the hope that one day we will surely see,

The Geulah Shelaima, and Binyan Bayit Shlishi.

IMO, one of the BEST ways to give boys and girls the practice they need in being socially comfortable in speaking with each other, is at these family get togethers, under parental supervision, but nonetheless in each other’s company a sufficient amount of time to actually have a normal conversation..

If you’re happy, I’m happy.

We gave all our kids two names – their Jewish names are exactly the same in English, so no secular names were given.

2. “Do you tend to name after relatives or great Torah scholars?”

I did both. My youngest son actually WAS specifically named for one of our arguably greatest Torah scholars AND also for a family member who was a Rosh Yeshivah.

3. “Would you name a boy after a female relative?”

Probably not, but it is a moot point for me.

“I won’t ask the other way around, since it’s clear this is not a good idea (kedusha should go upwards).”

HUH?????????

4.”Would you name a child after a non-choshuv relative (some will do this, but will have a different more choshuv person in mind when actually doing the naming. It matters not what you tell your relatives in terms of who the baby is named after – you know the truth)”

Everyone is choshuv, but I know what you meant. My father-in-law O”H was not a frum man, but he was one of the biggest Baalei Chessed I have ever been privileged to know. He was niftar shortly before my son’s first son was born, and they named the baby a first name that stands for Yerushalayim, and gave him my shver’s name for his middle name.

5.”And do you give you children English names? If you only give them one Hebrew name, would you give them an English middle name?’

Nope. I never gave secular names to my own children. What my children decide to do for THEIR children, is their decision. One child did give a secular English name, the other child chose to keep the Hebrew first name as her child’s secular name. In the case of the children who were given secular names, those names mostly reflect the Hebrew, i.e., if the Hebrew name were Dovid, the secular one would be David.

i imagine if you ask the majority of medical practioners whether or not eating shrimp can cloud your cerebral processes, they will answer no. we dont even know for sure in what sense meat-fish is a sakana, physically, spiritually or both.”

Maybe so,but we don’t eat shrimp for the reason that the Torah tells us we cannot eat seafood that does not have fins and scales. It makes no difference if shrimp clouds our cerebral processes or turns us into MENSA geniuses. It’s assur to eat it. Period.

I also would not drink liquids that were uncovered overnight, even if the Gedolim tell us it is perfectly OK halachically because there are no longer snakes and scorpions in most neighborhoods, because G-d knows what shmutz cold have fallen in or worse, cockroaches and other wild life might still have crawled over the open container. Yuck.

I am told you cannot use sauce that contains fish, fish juice, fish products, etc. to cook with meat or chicken. It is considered a sakana. So I was told when I asked.

Health, it is obvious this is a very sore point and hot-button issue with you, though I am not sure why. Are you a psychiatrist? I disagree with you on virtually all counts, and that is my prerogative. You have your own agenda regarding the issue of drugging people, and sorry, but I am not convinced that what you say is any more correct than what I have to say. I did not make blanket statements. I made statements based on personal experience that a well-known and respected doctor prescribed dangerous meds to a patient, my mom O”H, who had absolutely no need for them, because he did not look for a physical cause FIRST.

I have talked to many parents in my neighborhood or its environs, and virtually ALL of them either have kids on anti-anxiety medication or something to treat bi-polar disorder/depression, or know family members’ or friends’ kids who are taking these drugs. It simply cannot be that all those kids need to be medicated. Bury your head in the sand if you like, but the fact that you disagree does not necessarily mean I am wrong.

I am not looking at the total amount of people in this country who actually suffer from Clinical Depression. My interest is in Jewish children and adults who are irresponsibly given powerful drugs, and are not fully informed as to what can happen as a result of their long-term use. BTW, 20% is one out of five – not so hard to do the math. And who else would be likely to think to be concerned about a problem, except for someone who has already been burned?

My friend does, because he does not follow doctor’s orders re: how much he can eat at one time. If one will not get serious, there is no purpose to having this surgery. I would imagine going back to work varies with the individual’s recovery.

I am dieting on my own. You could not pay me to go through such a surgical procedure, especially having experienced NON-elective abdominal surgery. Eating a low-carb (only complex carbohydrates should be eaten, like BROWN rice, sweet potato, whole wheat)and high lean protein diet with plenty of green veggies and a little healthy fat (like olive oil), and drinking lots of water, will guarantee HEALTHY success. I know people want a quick fix, but we don’t gain excessive weight overnight, and we don’t lose it (safely and hopefully permanently) that way, either. Hatzlacha rabbah, if you or someone you know is planning on doing this.

I don’t believe in this type of over-prescribed therapy. Only a very few people are actually clinically depressed, but SO many are being prescribed Prozac and Zoloft, that it is not a joke. The first line of defense should be that the doctor takes extremely extensive blood work and if necessary and MRI or CAT Scan, to ensure the patient’s symptoms are not indicative of a physical condition, rather than mental. My late mother Z”L, was seriously misdiagnosed as having clinical depression (because she was diabetic, no less), when in fact the doctor saw something in her regular six week blood tests, that was a dead giveaway to the fact that she had a growth on her pituitary/hypothalamus, that was causing every single one of her symptoms.

He never mentioned the blood test results to her or to us,though he had an obligation to do, because he personally attached no significance to them, when in fact, those results were CLASSIC signs of this type of tumor according to the Physician’s Desk Reference. When he was still seeing these results in blood work six months later (and after a great deal of agmas nefesh on our parts as we watched her deteriorate needlessly), he finally acknowledged to us that he “thought” she should probably have an MRI, because he saw some blood test results that had been present for six months.

The tumor was confirmed, by then it had already destroyed her thyroid and adrenal glands,but thankfully not her optic nerve which was very close to it, and simple replacement therapy, two tiny pills of Syntrhoid and Coortisol, like saccharine tablets, restored her to normal function LITERALLY overnight. She of course needed and had successful surgery, but so much time that could never be made up, had already been wasted in her getting the proper treatment, because the doctor didn’t “think” it could possibly be such a thing, though the symptoms and bloodwork were absolutely dead on for this condition. I cannot be moichel this doctor for ruining her life for all that time, missing her first grandson’s (my son’s)aliyah to the Torah at his Bar-Mitzvah,for not keeping us in the loop, and for trying to convince us she was mentally ill. And no, we did not sue him for negligence, for personal reasons, though we had every right to do so.