ujm

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Viewing 50 posts - 4,051 through 4,100 (of 4,188 total)
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  • ujm
    Participant

    Recently, at the United Nations General Assembly a representative from Israel began: “Before beginning my talk I want to tell you something about Moses. When he struck the rock and it brought forth water, he thought, ‘What a good opportunity to have a bath!’

    He removed his clothes, put them aside on the rock and entered the water.

    When he got out and wanted to dress, his clothes had vanished. A

    Palestinian had stolen them.”

    The Palestinian representative jumped up furiously and shouted, “What

    are you talking about? The Palestinians weren’t there then.”

    The Israeli representative smiled and said –

    “And now that we have made that clear, I will begin my speech.”

    in reply to: A Humorous Item #1171803
    ujm
    Participant
    in reply to: A Humorous Item #1171802
    ujm
    Participant

    The three Goldberg brothers, Norman, Hiram, and Max, invented and developed the first automobile air conditioner.

    On July 17, 1946, the temperature in Detroit was 97 degrees. The three brothers walked into old man Henry Ford’s office and sweet-talked his secretary into telling him that three gentlemen were there with the most exciting innovation in the auto industry since the electric starter.

    Henry was curious and invited them into his office. They refused and instead asked that he come out to the parking lot to their car.

    They persuaded him to get into the car, in which it was about 130 degrees. They then turned on the air conditioner and cooled the car off immediately. The old man got very excited and invited them back to his office, where he offered them $3 million for the patent.

    The brothers refused, saying they would settle for $2 million, but they wanted the recognition by having a label, “The Goldberg Air-Conditioner,” on the dashboard of each car that it was installed in.

    Now, old man Ford was more than just a little anti-Semitic, and there was no way he was going to put the Goldbergs’ name on two million Fords.

    They haggled back and forth for about two hours and finally agreed on $4 million, and that just their first names would be shown.

    And so to this day, all Ford air conditioners show Norm, Hi, and Max on the dashboard.

    in reply to: HUMOR: Funny Mother-In-Law vs. Shadchan #645967
    ujm
    Participant

    A newlywed farmer and his wife were visited by her mother, who immediately demanded an inspection of the place. While they were walking through the barn, the farmer’s mule suddenly reared up and kicked the mother-in-law in the head, killing her instantly.

    At the funeral service a few days later, the farmer stood near the casket and greeted folks as they walked by. The pastor noticed that whenever a woman would whisper something to the farmer, he would nod his head “yes” and say something. Whenever a man walked by and whispered to the farmer, he would shake his head “no” and mumble a reply.

    Curious, the pastor later asked the farmer what that was all about. The farmer replied, “The women would say, ‘What a terrible tragedy,’ and I would nod my head and say, ‘Yes, it was.’ The men would ask, ‘You wanna sell that mule?’ and I would shake my head and say, ‘Can’t. It’s all booked up for a year.'”

    in reply to: Women Driving #1161855
    ujm
    Participant

    josh, i’m not sure where you’re trying to go with that, but that is as nonsensical as going to your nearest mo leader and telling him you want to form a committee to attack all women who don’t utilize mixed swimming pools. that scenerio and the one you described are as equally unlikely either to be suggested or to be practiced. actually you’re scenario is far more unlikely. what you describe at best sounds like the type of story peddled by anti-semitic rags of the nature of haaretz and ynet when they are seeking an avenue to attack chareidim. it can’t even be described as an exaggeration, as it doesn’t happen anywhere but in their hate-filled minds.

    in reply to: Women Driving #1161851
    ujm
    Participant

    josh, you are correct about that in the sense that “if it were not for YU, there would be tens of thousands that would be lost to Torah Judaism” in that many of those Yidden would not be frum at all, and YU is a much better alternative to being frei. Where you are not correct is that halacha itself requires that halacha be enforced. I don’t know whatever gave you the idea that “there is widespread agreement in Orthodox Jewish circles” otherwise. As I said, halacha itself requires that it be enforced. I have no idea what you mean “those who adopt extreme levels” but kol hakovod to those that adapt extreme levels of tznius for themselves. May many more do so as well. Those who are on the madreiga on maintaining extreme levels of tznius are a zchus and an encouragement for the rest of us. More power to them and may we all pick up a little bit from them. It is an aveira gamur when people mock those who adapt chumros. I am tired of those in the mo crowd (and there is no other way to put it) that say there is too many chumras, etc.

    in reply to: BREAKING: Lipa to do another concert – “The Event”? #630200
    ujm
    Participant

    jphone: I don’t think anyone can fake the kind of evilness displayed in yossiea’s comments.

    And besides, the mods are rather vigilant in disallowing socks puppets.

    in reply to: Plans For Winter Vacation #636970
    ujm
    Participant

    brklyn19, r u trying to say “like mother, like daughter”?

    in reply to: How Many Sufganiyot Did You Have Tonight? #836861
    ujm
    Participant

    can’t figure whats the joke either.

    in reply to: Plans For Winter Vacation #636967
    ujm
    Participant

    bored, you ARE spoiled… they must have your picture in the dictionary next to spoiled 🙂

    Btw, did you say you work 8 hours a week and are bored at work?

    in reply to: IDF FINALLY POUNDING GAZA: OPERATION CAST LEAD #630267
    ujm
    Participant

    Unleash Israel and Win Peace

    Dec. 6, 2001

    WSJ Op-Ed by Rush Limbaugh


    The only way some form of quiet will ever exist in the Middle East is if Israel is given the latitude to totally defeat its declared enemies. Only then will the terrorist attacks on Israel’s civilians come to an end. Perpetual negotiations, diplomatic half measures, or land for peace deals will not bring peace to the Middle East. For those who believe this is an irresponsible notion, I use history as my guide.

    Today marks the 60th anniversary of Imperial Japan’s unprovoked attack on Pearl Harbor, in which 2,500 Americans were killed. There are lessons to be learned from our victory in that war. In his April 16, 1945 address before a Joint Session of Congress, President Harry Truman stated: “So there can be no possible misunderstanding, both Germany and Japan can be certain, beyond any shadow of doubt, that America will continue the fight for freedom until no vestige of resistance remains. We are deeply conscious of the fact that much hard fighting is still ahead of us. Having to pay such a heavy price to make complete victory certain, America will never become a party to any plan for partial victory. To settle for merely another temporary respite would surely jeopardize the future security of the world. Our demand has been, and it remains, unconditional surrender.”

    On August 6, 1945, just 16-hours after the United States dropped an atomic bomb on Hiroshima, Japan, Truman issued a statement which said, in part: “The Japanese began the war from the air at Pearl Harbor. They have been repaid many fold… We are now prepared to obliterate more rapidly and completely every productive enterprise the Japanese have above ground in any city. We shall destroy their docks, their factories, and their communications. Let there be no mistake: we shall completely destroy Japan’s power to make war.”

    Truman understood that there could be no peace without total victory. This lesson has not been lost on President George Bush. On September 20, 2001, Bush also addressed a Joint Session of Congress and announced America’s policy — “the Bush Doctrine” — in responding to the atrocities of September 11. He stated: “…Our war on terror begins with al Qaeda, but it does not end there. It will not end until every terrorist group of global reach has been found, stopped and defeated.”

    Bush stated further: “…We will starve terrorists of funding, turn them one against another, drive them from place to place, until there is no refuge or no rest. Every nation, in every region, now has a decision to make. Either you are with us, or you are with the terrorists. From this day forward, any nation that continues to harbor or support terrorism will be regarded by the United States as a hostile regime.”

    Since September 11, Bush has refused all offers by the Taliban regime to negotiate any settlement of the war — including the status of Osama bin Laden and his top lieutenants in the al Qaeda terrorist network — short of outright surrender. As Bush once eloquently put it: bin Laden is “wanted, dead or alive.” And for over two months, the U.S. has been systematically bombing the Taliban and al Qaeda day and night. Already, the Bush administration is planning the next phase of the war, which may involve U.S. military action in Iraq, Somalia and elsewhere.

    So, in the two most recent examples of the U.S. being attacked on its own territory, America’s predicate for peace has been the total annihilation of its enemies. And there is every reason to expect Israel’s Prime Minister Ariel Sharon to have learned the same lesson.

    Since 1948, Israel has been forced to fight 4 wars with the hostile nations surrounding her. Despite defeating her enemies on the battlefield, the international community has never permitted Israel to completely destroy any of these regimes — none of which are democracies. They’ve always been left largely in tact, free to start or support another war, including the current terrorist war now being waged against Israel’s citizens. And between wars, Israel’s enemies have convinced the world, including the U.S., that her borders and security are not only legitimate subjects of constant negotiations, but that Israel’s refusal to accept most, if not all, of her enemies’ demands is an obstacle to peace.

    This week Hamas and other terrorist groups — which, like certain of the countries that surround Israel, seek the destruction of Israel, not co-existence or even the establishment of a Palestinian state — intensified their war against the Jewish state by unleashing 5 fanatic suicide bombers against innocent civilians, mostly children. The result: hundreds of casualties, including 26 dead. In the past 14 months, more than 230 Israelis have been killed — the proportional equivalent to the U.S. losing some 11,000 people.

    In addition to Hamas, which receives support from Palestinian expatriates, wealthy Saudi Arabians, and Iran, Israel is under attack from, among others, Hizballah, which is supported by Syria and Iran, and Islamic Jihad, which is backed by Iran, Sudan and militant Islamic groups.

    On December 4, in an address to his nation, Sharon stated: “…A war has been forced upon us. A war of terror. A war that claims innocent victims daily. A war of terror being conducted systematically, in an organized fashion, and with methodical direction… We will pursue those responsible, the perpetrators of terrorism and the supporters. We will pursue them until we catch them, and they will pay a price.”

    Ironically, the major obstacle to Sharon implementing the Bush Doctrine has been U.S. Middle East policy. When attacked by terrorists, Israel has been urged to show “restraint,” to make more negotiated concessions and even accept the creation of a hostile Palestinian state on its border. This week’s carnage appears to have caused some positive change in America’s rhetoric and position. The president has now pointed the finger of responsibility directly at Yassar Arafat for ending the terrorism committed by his people. But accomplishing peace requires more — much more.

    Truman was right to insist that peace would only be realized after the “obliteration” of the Japanese war machine, just as Bush is right about “defeating” the Taliban, al Qaeda and other terrorist networks. It is, therefore, necessary that in the pursuit of real and lasting peace, Israel also be free to destroy its enemies — meaning the terrorists and, yes, their sponsors, who are at war with her, and that she do so before they obtain devastating weapons of mass destruction.

    (an op-ed by Rush Limbaugh, originally published on Dec. 6, 2001)

    in reply to: IDF FINALLY POUNDING GAZA: OPERATION CAST LEAD #630265
    ujm
    Participant

    000646: Yes, indeed there are. R’ Miller has more followers than you could ever count.

    in reply to: BREAKING: Lipa to do another concert – “The Event”? #630142
    ujm
    Participant

    yossiea: you are a rusha; anyone that talks about the Gedolim like that, is sure to end up in gehenim.

    in reply to: Chumros = Kids Off The Derech? #629372
    ujm
    Participant

    Rav Samson Raphael Hirsch is the antithesis of the MO.

    in reply to: Being a Frum military Officer #628640
    ujm
    Participant

    What dd posted is quite vile. How that rant made it, is the question. He is the antithesis of Torah-true Jew. I hope he doesn’t represent the typical mo man on the street; but I think he does.

    in reply to: A Humorous Item #1171777
    ujm
    Participant

    America, Israel and Poland are sending up a two year shuttle mission with one astronaut from each country. Since it’s going to be two years up there, each may take any form of entertainment weighing 150 pound or less. The American approaches the NASA board and asks to take his 100 lb. TV and lounge chair. They approve.

    The Israeli astronaut says, “I’ve always wanted to learn Shas. I want the 150 lb. Artscroll Shas to learn with.” The NASA board approves.

    The Polish astronaut thinks for a second and says, “It’s gonna be two years up there. I want 150 pounds of the best Cuban cigars ever made.” Again, NASA okays it.

    Two years later, the shuttle lands and everyone is gathered outside the shuttle to see what each astronaut got out of his personal entertainment. The American steps out and begins discussing major sporting events from the last two years. The crowd cheers. The Israeli astronaut steps out and makes a 10 minute drosho in absolutely perfect aramaic. The crowd doesn’t understand a word of it, but they’re impressed and they cheer.

    The Polish astronaut stomps out, clenches the podium until his knuckles turn white, glares at the first row waving a chewed up cigar at them and says:

    “Anybody got a match?”

    ******

    A German walks onto a bus with a duck on his head and sits down next to a chasid.

    The chasid asks “Where’d you get the pig?”

    The German replied “It’s not a pig, it’s a duck.”

    Said the chasid, “I was talking to the duck.”

    (I thought I saw these here, but can’t find ’em.)

    in reply to: Television: A Cry of Anguish and Appeal to Our Jewish Brethren 📺 #1192854
    ujm
    Participant

    ilini07 – You are a Rasha. I’ve never seen anyone besmirch a tzaddik like you.

    in reply to: Television: A Cry of Anguish and Appeal to Our Jewish Brethren 📺 #1192846
    ujm
    Participant

    its absolutely hilarious how hes unable to give a single name of a rabbi in all the world and still tries to avoid an answer!

    in reply to: Mesivta Bochurim With Cell Phones #627812
    ujm
    Participant

    anon:

    Even with the minority of carriers that provide that detail, it is not complete. If the caller blocked their phone #, in the majority of times the number will not appear on the itemized statement. Have you never seen an incoming call on your bill that lacked a number? I don’t think you – or anyone – can make such a claim. (And this is in addition to the ingenuity of the youth I alluded to previously, that will enable them to take counter measures to even normal blocking and itemization.)

    in reply to: The Yetzer Hara of Bitul Zman – Online – Internet Addiction? #1076962
    ujm
    Participant

    asdfghjkl:

    What is a “sponsor”? And what does your sponsor do?

    in reply to: Mesivta Bochurim With Cell Phones #627810
    ujm
    Participant

    mw13, Kids are naturally versatile, intuitive, astute, and clever. They WILL find ways around “blocks”. They can even find ways around their activity appearing on the monthly detail section. Trust me, it can be done, it has been done, and it will be done.

    And this is aside from the dangers involved from unfettered VOICE ONLY access. Surely you are not oblivious that unfettered access to RECEIVE (which are not detailed on the bill where it originated from) voice calls can be catastrophic?

    You are playing with fire. People HAVE gotten burnt, and worse…

    in reply to: Random Questions #1077836
    ujm
    Participant

    Next Random Question:

    What was the conflict between America and Briton that triggered the War of 1812?

    in reply to: Tznius Standards #651248
    ujm
    Participant

    What suraschier wrote in the original post of this thread, is so true and relevant for every one of us.

    in reply to: Mesivta Bochurim With Cell Phones #627804
    ujm
    Participant

    mw13, au contraire. I’ve heard way too many horror stories of what happened to innocent children whose parents foolishly let roam with a cell phone. I shudder to even think of the details.

    in reply to: What To Do While Waiting For The Coffee Room To Be Updated #1192544
    ujm
    Participant

    I was wondering… who else around here waits (besides dont have internet) for the coffee room to be updated everytime?

    in reply to: Sefer Tehillim Worldwide Daily #1229273
    ujm
    Participant

    mdlevine, Is the project for both men and women? tizku lmitzvos

    in reply to: Working = Rich? #634530
    ujm
    Participant

    I agree with Joseph & BYM.

    in reply to: Random Questions #1077833
    ujm
    Participant

    Random Question:

    Who was the 13th President of the U.S.?

    in reply to: Who’s Your Favorite for Moderator? #652989
    ujm
    Participant

    BTW what is the big secret here? Its no secret who the Editor is… its been mentioned in mainstream publications like Mishpacha Magazine.

    in reply to: The Yetzer Hara of Bitul Zman – Online – Internet Addiction? #1076959
    ujm
    Participant

    Truthfully, this cr should be shut down. It would increase productivity, and Limud Torah.

    in reply to: Who’s Your Favorite for Moderator? #652988
    ujm
    Participant

    Pashuteh:

    au contraire

    in reply to: Recipes for Dafina/Chamin/Sephardic Colent? #632360
    ujm
    Participant

    Anyone know the source for cholent (Ashkenaz or Sefard)?

    in reply to: Screen Names #1175475
    ujm
    Participant

    dont have internet, how’d you sign up if you didn’t have internet?

    in reply to: Mesivta Bochurim With Cell Phones #627801
    ujm
    Participant

    Why would anyone want to risk their child’s life with a cell phone? Sure its possible they may get away unscathed. But why risk destroying their spiritual/ruchniyos life?

    in reply to: What is Your Hashkafic Affiliation? #626998
    ujm
    Participant

    Back to the original topic:

    What is Your Hashkafic Affiliation?

    Yeshivish Ashkenaz.

    in reply to: Suggestions to Improve YWN #1224822
    ujm
    Participant

    How about a setting to change ones screen name. (It used to exist, but disappeared.)

    in reply to: On My Mind; What the Hasidim Know #625030
    ujm
    Participant

    “Sweethearts, by you, you are Park Avenue, by your wife you are Park Avenue, but by an anti-Semite you are a Hasid.”

    How true that is.

    in reply to: Obscene Billboard in the Five Towns #624899
    ujm
    Participant

    Photograph their customers entering (it is legal to photograph a public street and its occupants), post them onlinr, let them know you are doing so and are willing to stop if the drop their billboard.

    in reply to: Facebook #691056
    ujm
    Participant

    Very dangerous tool.

    in reply to: A Humorous Item #1171679
    ujm
    Participant

    Q. Why did the chicken cross the street?

    A. He wanted to get to the other side.

    (ouch)

    in reply to: 10 Proofs That Moshiach is Coming Now! #625023
    ujm
    Participant

    Yup, traveled to Hong Kong for Shabbas, said he was in Jersey when asked after Shabbas, but VPN’d into his Jersey dsl account from Hong Kong – since those HK isp’s must block yw as contrary to Chinese law, so he especially tunneled through his dsl and used the slower connection.

    in reply to: Tenor of Discussion on YWN: When Discussions Become Acrimonious #625752
    ujm
    Participant

    My (Orthodox) “Rav”, gives the thumbs up on driving to shul on shabbas.

    Who’s words do you respect more, Shulchon Orach written 100’s of years ago, or your “Rabbi”?

    (Besides he knows of the competition, and that his earnest parishioners will leave to the other “Orthodox” temple in town, who’s Reverend would be more than glad to accept new members and accept their donations, by accommodating their “religious” desires.)

    in reply to: Rabbinic Titles #1024746
    ujm
    Participant

    sam, sheesh you have no sense of humor. It was a JOKE!

    And coming from from you who always gets into verbal spars with just about EVERYONE you ever comment about.

    in reply to: Kid Off The Derech #625233
    ujm
    Participant

    Itzik: You speak both from the heard and from the mind.

    in reply to: The Democrat Party & Its Anti-Semite Sidekicks #642645
    ujm
    Participant

    “Friends don’t let friends vote Democrat…”

    in reply to: A Flag, on a Hill #624174
    ujm
    Participant

    I like the history lesson from this article…

    in reply to: Farrakhan Says Obama ‘New Beginning’ #625670
    ujm
    Participant

    Everyone (or most people) knew Obama associates himself with shady characters.

    in reply to: A Flag, on a Hill #624173
    ujm
    Participant

    I like the history lesson from this article…

    in reply to: Stop Being a Kanoi on Simchas Torah #623285
    ujm
    Participant

    erik55,

    One mistake you make is saying “there are two indisputable facts”. In fact, you should say that “there are THREE indisputable facts”.

    Your two were:

    1. there will always be many drunks in shul on simchas torah

    2. there will always be laytzanus by mussuf after wards

    If those two assumptions are “givens”, as you claim, the third “indisputable fact” is:

    3. there will always be people who defend sheim shmayim and protest this unacceptable laytzanus

    in reply to: What Kind of a Kapora is This??? #623249
    ujm
    Participant

    Zevi:

    Are you in Lakewood?

Viewing 50 posts - 4,051 through 4,100 (of 4,188 total)