ujm

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  • in reply to: Solution to the Shidduch Crisis #2089656
    ujm
    Participant

    Chazal and the Rishonim tell us why the white dress dance was discontinued and may not be done in our days. Are you seriously suggesting reinitiating that despite this?

    in reply to: Real Learners #2089643
    ujm
    Participant

    Yabia: I agree. But your example wasn’t what my comparison was about. My comparison was about two people who are in Yeshiva 10 hours a day. The first one seriously learns for 10 hours; the second one seriously learns only for two hours, and is “battling” his other eight hours there. The first one is getting through half a Daf a day; the second one is getting through 5 Blatts a day.

    in reply to: Is abortion Murder? #2089640
    ujm
    Participant

    Aseh: Why is there even any hava mina that there might be a right to kill a mamzer, any more than to kill a non-mamzer?

    in reply to: Is abortion Murder? #2089492
    ujm
    Participant

    Does everyone agree that it Congress passed a law that anyone who performs or undergoes an abortion will be executed, but categorically and explicitly ties both the law and its enforcement to directly match how abortion (and how judicial enforcement) is treated under the Sheva Mitzvos, that this would be a wonderful thing that we all support?

    For the purposes of this question accept that this is legally viable, rather than trying to weasel out of responding on secular grounds.

    in reply to: Solution to the Shidduch Crisis #2089481
    ujm
    Participant

    We should return to how we made Shidduchim in prewar Europe and prewar Mizrachi world. It was done, more or less, unchanged for thousands of years. We should never have changed to the current American model, large portions of which were emulated from the contemporary non-Jewish world.

    in reply to: Unusual occupations for frum people. #2089465
    ujm
    Participant

    Being a Priest is definitely not an unusual occupation for Jews.

    in reply to: Real Learners #2089464
    ujm
    Participant

    N0m: I didn’t say that he didn’t understand. I said it took him an awfully long time to understand a small amount. In my theoretical example it was 10 hours to understand half a Daf. But understand it he did.

    By the way, even if he wouldn’t understand it, which wasn’t the example I earlier gave, he still gets full credit of Limud HaTorah for all his effort. As much as a Masmid who put in an equal amount of effort and time, and came away understanding 100x more and 100x better.

    A Yeshiva or a Kollel is better off with the Talmid who spends 10 hours a day seriously learning, even though he only finishes half a Daf per 10 hours, than a Talmid who spends 2 hours a day seriously learning, but he fully understands inside out 5 Blatts every 2 hours, but then spends another 8 hours a day schmoozing, socializing or catching up with what’s going on in the world.

    in reply to: Did Meron go well in 2022? #2089436
    ujm
    Participant

    It went well for 70+ years prior to 2020, as well.

    in reply to: Chilul Hashem #2089291
    ujm
    Participant

    Can one call himself frum if he says motzi shem ra or loshon hora?

    in reply to: Real Learners #2089290
    ujm
    Participant

    N0m: Limud Torah is a huge mitzvah in its own right. The Mitzvah is not one iota less if the person is an extremely slow learner and takes 10 times as long to understand Torah or Gemora than an average person. Him learning 10 times as long and still end up understanding “only” half as much Torah as the next guy who aced the sugya in 20% as much time spent in Limud Torah, the guy who knows half as much gets 5 times the schar for Limud Torah as the other guy. And if the Yeshiva can only have one of the two, they’d be much better off holding unto the slower learner.

    in reply to: Real Learners #2089178
    ujm
    Participant

    Real Learners do not necessarily need to learn or know a lot. A learner who spends 10 hours a day cracking his head to try to understand less than half an Amud, and after the 10 hours has only a very basic idea of what he learnt, and he does this every day of the week, year after year, is a much better Yeshivab or Kollel student than the guy sitting next to him who spends two hours a day learning five new blatts with all the meforshim, and he successfully knows it inside and out and is capable of acing any test with flying colors, but spends the next eight hours of his days battling about sports, politics and whatever else.

    in reply to: Real Learners #2089156
    ujm
    Participant

    Yabia isn’t Sefardic.

    in reply to: Can I shave and get a haircut tonight? #2089152
    ujm
    Participant

    Everyone must get a Rov.

    in reply to: Movies and Noshim. #2089039
    ujm
    Participant

    “If yeshivas were helping in some way, what was the basis for that?”

    Pekuach Nefesh. A Yid is prohibited from serving in a gentile army if doing so risks his life. He’s required take whatever possible steps (refusing to serve, draft fishing, moving to Canada, fake exemption, etc) to avoid putting himself in a sakanas nefoshos situation, such as enlisting in the army 0

    in reply to: Solution to the Shidduch Crisis #2088989
    ujm
    Participant

    Young male African-Americans engage in more risky behavior than young male Caucasian Americans. And their death rate is higher. There are statistics to demonstrate that.

    Young gentile males engage in risky behavior far more so than young Jewish males. And their death rate is higher. There are no statistics demonstrating this is true or false. But common sense, living in the real world and paying attention to what’s going on will make this clear to any clear eyed, unbiased, observer. Even if he can’t prove it with official surveys and stats.

    In Israel the young non-Chareidim face a higher death rate in the armed services, something the Chareidim serve in far lesser numbers.

    For these things that no statistics exist for sub-population groups we can argue both sides back and forth with no clear proof who is correct. You might argue there’s no statistical proof that the Amish suffer any less motor vehicle deaths than the national (or state) statistics for the population at large. Or that conservative religious Muslims suffer no less alcohol poisoning than the general statistics for the population at large.

    in reply to: Solution to the Shidduch Crisis #2088977
    ujm
    Participant

    What’s so hard to understand about Footsteps? Anything they, their board members or their supporters say, state or claim starts off with a presumption of falsehood. If he told you it is raining in Bnei Brak, you should not believe him until you verified it. Even if he was then in Bnei Brak.

    Would you accept alleged statistics regarding Jewish behaviors from a “board member” of Hezbollah?

    in reply to: Solution to the Shidduch Crisis #2088945
    ujm
    Participant

    Spare us the falsehoods from your Footsteps board members. The OTD claims presented have no basis in reality.

    As far a the general age gap issue, I’m not sure you can be effective in convincing Litvish boys to marry younger or convince them to marry older girls (than they currently do) unless and until the Yeshivish oilem adopts the Chasidish type Shidduch process.

    In Eretz Yisroel the Litvish Shidduch process is closer to the Chasidish system than it is to the American Litvish system.

    in reply to: Solution to the Shidduch Crisis #2088941
    ujm
    Participant

    Who are we kidding? We both know that the African-American population has a significantly higher youth death rate as a result of violence, drugs and certain very unhealthy behaviors. That skewers the national statistics, whereas if you excluded such minority populations the general Caucasian rates are significantly lower. And on top of that factor, it is quite clear and obvious to any observer that the Orthodox Jewish (and general Jewish) communities have a significantly lower youth violent death rate than the general gentile population (even compared only to Caucasians) as well as a significantly lower youth death rate from drug overdosage and, say, HIV/STD for example, than the general gentile population.

    There’s no reason to believe that male Orthodox Jews suffer greater disability rates or greater OTD rates than female Orthodox Jews. Nor have you or anyone else provided any evidence, other than innuendo and anonymous claims, that there’s any reason to think there’s any difference, one way or the other, between the genders.

    And Footsteps is an antisemitic, religious-hating, hate group that has a notoriety for lying about figures, statistics and anything relating to Orthodox Jews. The fact that THEY are your source, demonstrates that you have an agenda other than the truth.

    in reply to: Solution to the Shidduch Crisis #2088874
    ujm
    Participant

    105/100 isn’t 5%. According to my math professor that is closer to 2%.

    The OTD, disability and early death factors are vastly overstated. *Especially* in reference to the Orthodox Jewish population, regarding the latter two. The death factor, in great deal, results from drug overdosage, violence and other negative behaviors prevalent among certain minority groups that skewer the statistics.

    And the OTD factor isn’t especially overrepresented by either gender.

    in reply to: Solution to the Shidduch Crisis #2088742
    ujm
    Participant

    “given the 5% birth rate gender disparity”

    5% birth rate gender disparity? Where did that figure come from? It’s much less and closer to parity. It is about 51% boys, 49% girls.

    in reply to: Movies and Noshim. #2088701
    ujm
    Participant

    CS: I’m partisan to Faltche Fish.

    You seem to have a case of double-postitis

    in reply to: rice #2088698
    ujm
    Participant

    We used to have a poster that would reply to all threads “Ask your local Orthodox Rabbi”.

    in reply to: Solution to the Shidduch Crisis #2088692
    ujm
    Participant

    Are Roster: Your statistics regarding boys allegedly having a statistically significantly higher death rate at birth, or disability rate is factually inaccurate, medically. And your allegation that boys have a higher OTD rate is inaccurate, religiously, considering how you are determining OTD.

    in reply to: Can I shave and get a haircut tonight? #2088691
    ujm
    Participant

    You shouldn’t shave ever.

    As far as Sefira, those following the Arizal hold all 49 days.

    in reply to: Movies and Noshim. #2088555
    ujm
    Participant

    CS: Gefilte Fish, of course.

    in reply to: Good Used Seforim #2088551
    ujm
    Participant

    CAD: Yabiabis absolutely correct. I’m sorry for not asking. (I actually thought of asking but wasn’t sure if it it would make you uncomfortable. What is causing you unhappiness?

    in reply to: Is abortion Murder? #2088312
    ujm
    Participant

    Jackk: Why are you downplaying a severe prohibition that carries the death penalty. Chayiv Misa means exactly that. It is nothing to be trifled with. It isn’t just a theory; it carries capital punishment as a real legal matter that the courts can and do enforce.

    in reply to: Cotton Tzitzis #2088310
    ujm
    Participant

    Are we discussing three year olds?

    in reply to: Solution to the Shidduch Crisis #2088309
    ujm
    Participant

    “The Cherem deRabbenu Gershom conversation is a bit far fetched too. There are much simpler answers to the crisis, that would require a bit of maturity instead of a complete transformation of the marital and familial structure of our society.”

    Yayin: Again, to reiterate, even with the relaxation of the Cherem (and only with the directives of Gedolei Yisroel, of course), it would only be relevant for a very small number of marriage. 95+% of marriages will continue to be monogamous. Only a tiny low single digits percentage of marriages being polygynous will be sufficient to alleviate the disparity in numbers between males and females in the Shidduch parsha.

    Additionally, only a small number of men will be capable (financially, emotionally, etc) of supporting multiple wives and only a small number of women will be willing to be part of a polygynous family. So it will be self-correcting and only affect a few.

    “If we can’t convince litvishe girls to be willing to date wonderful chassidish boys, or various other great profiles that they refuse to consider, do you really think they’d be willing to date as a second wife?”

    You’re hitting upon another excellent idea. Do you not think it can be feasible to successfully be meshadech Chasidishe boys with Litvishe girls if enough effort it put into it and, perhaps, an origanized effort my Klal Yisroel is made to encourage — similar to how NASI and others have been encouraging close-in-age Shidduchim?

    By the way, most self-identifying “Litvish” people come from Chasidish/Heimish family backgrounds. There are very few true Litvaks.

    in reply to: Solution to the Shidduch Crisis #2088308
    ujm
    Participant

    “The Cherem deRabbenu Gershom conversation is a bit far fetched too. There are much simpler answers to the crisis, that would require a bit of maturity instead of a complete transformation of the marital and familial structure of our society.”

    Yayin: Again, to reiterate, even with the relaxation of the Cherem (and only with the directives of Gedolei Yisroel, of course), it would only be relevant for a very small number of marriage. 95+% of marriages will continue to be monogamous. Only a tiny low single digits percentage of marriages being polygynous will be sufficient to alleviate the disparity in numbers between males and females in the Shidduch parsha.

    Additionally, only a small number of men will be capable (financially, emotionally, etc) of supporting multiple wives and only a small number of women will be willing to be part of a polygynous family. So it will be self-correcting and only affect a few.

    “If we can’t convince litvishe girls to be willing to date wonderful chassidish boys, or various other great profiles that they refuse to consider, do you really think they’d be willing to date as a second wife?”

    You’re hitting upon another excellent idea. Do you not think it can be feasible to successfully be meshadech Chasidishe boys with Litvishe girls if enough effort it put into it and, perhaps, an origanized effort my Klal Yisroel is made to encourage — similar to how NASI and others have been encouraging close-in-age Shidduchim?

    By the way, most self-identifying “Litvish” people come from Chasidish/Heimish family backgrounds. There are very few true Litvaks.

    in reply to: Solution to the Shidduch Crisis #2088304
    ujm
    Participant

    “These mindless rants about a so-called “shidduch crisis” is only increasing the stress levels and pressure on young men and women already struggling with multiple challenges as they look for their beschert.”

    Ghadorah: If there’s no Shidduch Crisis, as you’re claiming, then what exactly about are single men and women “already struggling with multiple challenges as they look for their beschert”??

    in reply to: Solution to the Shidduch Crisis #2088189
    ujm
    Participant

    קידושין ז, א
    אמר ריש לקיש: טב למיתב טן דו מלמיתב ארמלו

    Kesubos 75a
    אִיהִי בְּכׇל דְּהוּ נִיחָא לַהּ כִּדְרֵישׁ לָקִישׁ דְּאָמַר רֵישׁ לָקִישׁ טָב לְמֵיתַב טַן דּוּ מִלְּמֵיתַב אַרְמְלוּ אַבָּיֵי אָמַר דְּשׁוּמְשְׁמָנָא גַּבְרָא כּוּרְסְיַהּ בֵּי חָרָאתָא רָמֵי לַהּ

    רַב פָּפָּא אָמַר דְּנַפָּסָא גַּבְרָא תִּיקְרְיֵיהּ בְּסִיפֵּי בָבָא וְתֵיתִיב רַב אָשֵׁי אָמַר דְּקַלָּסָא גַּבְרָא לָא בָּעֲיָא טְלָפְחֵי לְקִידְרָא

    Kesubos 86a
    יוֹתֵר מִמַּה שֶּׁהָאִישׁ רוֹצֶה לִישָּׂא אִשָּׁה רוֹצָה לְהִנָּשֵׂא

    in reply to: Solution to the Shidduch Crisis #2088154
    ujm
    Participant

    ubiq: I added a citation to my comment that you quoted a few minutes after posting it. You may have submitted your response prior to seeing my citation. The Darchei Moshe and Rema demonstrate Rabbeinu Gershom provided exceptions to the Cherem, such as if the wife couldn’t have children. This effectively establishes that prior to R”G’s Cherem no such exceptions were necessary for polygyny.

    Also, the living examples for Teimanim, Moroccans, etc. who practice it are of regular Yidden.

    As far as Tanach or Chazal, they didn’t always tell us everyone’s full marital statuses, etc. In other words, if Tanach or Chazal didn’t cite a second wife for Ploni, that isn’t necessarily an indication that Ploni didn’t have a second (or third) wife.

    And in any event, the examples of Ashkenazim up to R”G’s time and the examples of non-Ashkenazim up to modern times, itself demonstrates that people without special status (other than, perhaps, being relatively wealthy, etc.) had more than one wife.

    in reply to: Solution to the Shidduch Crisis #2088143
    ujm
    Participant

    ubiq: Until Rabbeinu Gershom, the people married to more than one wife were regular Yidden, not any special circumstance such as a king or people who necessarily couldn’t have children. In fact, R”G made provisions when establishing his Cherem to provide exceptions in special situations such as inability to have children. [i.e. See Darchei Moshe (Even HaEzer 1), Rema (Even HaEzer 1:10)] Beforehand, no special situation was required.

    With the Teimanim, Morrocans, Sephardim and non-Ashkenazim who practice polygny right into the contemporary modern era, it is also regular Yidden who practice it.

    In any event, if the Ashkenazic Gedolim reestablish it in present-day times for Ashkenazim (non-Ashkenazim already have the natural halachic right to practice it), they could institute it with guidelines on who is or isn’t authorized to do so. Such as requiring the husband to have the financial wherewithal to support multiple wives and/or other criteria limiting it (i.e. the acceptance of his current wife/wives.)

    in reply to: Is abortion Murder? #2088133
    ujm
    Participant

    “Why would it be more strict by a goy?”

    The same reason a goy is chayiv misa for theft.

    “A Ben Noach who performs an abortion would be chayav misa whether it is murder or not, because misa applies to all Sheva mitzvos Bnei Noach. It’s also agreed, I believe, that where abortion is prohibited, only the person performing the abortion would be chayav. If the mother requested it but didn’t perform it, she would be chayav only for lifnei iver.”

    Which means if it is a self-abortion, such as the over the counter or prescription medication she takes, the mother would be chayiv misa.

    in reply to: Good Used Seforim #2088107
    ujm
    Participant

    Welcome Back, Ctrl Alt Del! It’s been ages…

    in reply to: YWN CR Shabbaton #2087999
    ujm
    Participant

    CA: I already have everyone’s info.

    in reply to: Solution to the Shidduch Crisis #2087998
    ujm
    Participant

    Kuvult, that’s exactly what I said in the last paragraph of my comment right above yours. Even with polygyny being a viable option, simple mathematics alone dictate that it’s only an option for a small minority of marriages. That’s how it always was when Yidden had (or have) more than one wife.

    in reply to: Solution to the Shidduch Crisis #2087969
    ujm
    Participant

    If the age gap is truly the issue and it is causing a disparity in there being more girls than boys looking for Shidduchim, as a number of Rabbonim and askonim are saying, then indeed repealing Cherem Rabbeinu Gershom’s prohibition of polygyny, something the Gedolim have a right to do (in fact R”G himself set an expiration date), would help the Shidduch Crisis.

    Obviously, even when permitted, polygyny would be for a small minority of marriages and not for most.

    in reply to: pronounciation #2087968
    ujm
    Participant

    Haifagirl used to be the CR’s official English Nazi.

    in reply to: Solution to the Shidduch Crisis #2087877
    ujm
    Participant

    Where have I even mentioned antiquity, sir? Not even one word about that, yet. My entire comments were regarding contemporary and modern.

    But since you mention it, should Yaakov Avinu not married Rochel Imanu? Or skipped on Leah Imanu?

    in reply to: Solution to the Shidduch Crisis #2087868
    ujm
    Participant

    Jews live in other places as well. Such as in South Africa, where even the President of the country until about 6 years ago, had more than one wife. And in Morocco Jews still live and some Moroccan Yidden have more than one. Iran as well. Jews lived in Egypt, Syria, Lebanon and Iraq until about 15 years ago, which are additional examples where it is legal under secular law.

    Even in the United States it is legal if you don’t apply for secular marriage license and stick only to Kedushin and Chupa. The Mormon Fundamentalist do it openly. The Utah Attorney General tried to challenge it in court in the 1950s, but the courts ruled they couldn’t interfere with religious marriages if all the parties were legal adults and no minors were involved. Many African immigrants living in New York immigrated in the last 20 years to the US with multiple wives.

    in reply to: Solution to the Shidduch Crisis #2087797
    ujm
    Participant

    GHadora: Sefardim, Teimanim and other non-Ashkenazim were never subject to Cherem Rabbeinu Gershom. And still are not today. Indeed, even up to modern times you can find non-Ashkenazi frum Yidden who have more than one wife, simultaneously. There’s nothing inherently wrong with it. And it is the heilige minhag these Yidden have always practiced, and some still do.

    in reply to: Is abortion Murder? #2087787
    ujm
    Participant

    According to Halacha, a woman (nochri) who aborts her baby is Chayiv Misa.

    in reply to: rambam v other rishonim #2087786
    ujm
    Participant

    It cooled off a lot sooner than a hundred years.

    ujm
    Participant

    Syag, there’s no hate involved in mentioning that the Zionist Entity is a Shmad State. It is simply stating the facts, regardless if the specific example was in error.

    in reply to: Solution to the Shidduch Crisis #2087766
    ujm
    Participant

    Yochi:

    If you are correct then there should be no Shidduch Crisis among frum boys, only by frum girls. Yet, there are a relatively large pool of older single boy. All of them should have been able to get married long ago, due to the tons of older single girls.

    By the way, the idea of dropping Cherem Rabbeinu Gershom is a viable option if the Gedolei Rabbonim agree it is a good idea.

    in reply to: Movies and Noshim. #2087356
    ujm
    Participant

    AJ: I know this person the same way you know your child. It absolutely was due to his blood pressure. There were no other issues.

    in reply to: 13 years in a cave #2087159
    ujm
    Participant

    akuperma: The Rebbe created Kiryas Yoel to be away from town.

    in reply to: pronounciation #2087158
    ujm
    Participant

    You cannot properly express pronunciations in written words only.

Viewing 50 posts - 1 through 50 (of 2,495 total)