MeinMeinung: I like your answer.

I think Schwartz is the most common.

Go to your local library or go online, and find self help books that resonate within you. Read, read & read. If you’re a woman the book “Healing Your Emotional Self: A Powerful Program to Help You Raise Your Self-Esteem, Quiet Your Inner Critic, and Overcome Your Shame” by Beverly Engel may help you.

WOI: You have decided you are correct, and therefore are looking for an excuse why everyone else thinks you are wrong. You found it: it must be because automatically everyone blames the man. That is not true at all.

Perhaps she is pushing you to earn more money, because you are pushing her to earn more. It’s not her responsibility no matter what her potential to earn is. The only thing she should be responsible for is paying back the loans for her masters (unless you were the one to push her to do it).

Now let’s see. Your expenses are $6000 a month + other expenses, so something like $7000 a month. Her earnings are somewhere like $2400 before taxes ($60x10x4), after taxes should be something like 25% of monthly expenses which is $1750, which is what you state you want.

There is a quote: If two people tell you you are drunk, you should lie down. I came to my (incorrect) conclusion because of the pressure it seems you are putting on your wife, and you went to 4 therapists (spent thousands by them) and they all told you it’s your fault. Sorry, while I can’t possibly know the full story, and all these therapists may be idiots (who just blame the man for everything), it is highly unlikely especially since you are highly articulate, and you could clearly express what is going on (not everyone can do that), so even if initially they thought you are wrong (since you’re a man – highly doubtful though), you should have been able to explain the situation well enough.

Hatzlacha rabba

You can’t compare both sceanrios. The second guy’s father clearly paid for son’s education, the first one had to pay on his own. There are other factors to consider too. The second guy learned for ten years? Either he got help from parents or his wife had a great job. First guy didn’t have that.

Aries: wow! your post is amazing.

a mamin:

According to maxihealth description of Formula 605, it contains melatonin.

“The 7 habits of highly effective people” by Stephen R. Covey.

apushatayid: I wasn’t referring to kollel couples. I was referring to either men who are too lazy to earn a decent living, or men who try hard but just aren’t making enough.

Why do you suppose it’s better for a man to work two jobs, and not have any time for his family, than for a woman to take a part time job, and they take care of the family together in whatever way works for them? Not all working men have the stamina to work work two jobs, nor are many willing. There are also men who are not interested in helping out at home nor willing to make real effort to earn a decent living. Then what is a woman to do?

This OP annoyed me because many wonderful women work VERY HARD juggling both their family and their job, and they get critisized!

From what I see, the biggest problem with texting is that it’s addictive. It’s not even the texting itself. Those who text, are constantly checking their cells to see if they received a message.

http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/texting-on-shabbos-could-be-worse-than-murder

This is a question that was sent to someone who sends out halacha emails:

Question:

I wanted to ask you about the new (and exciting for many, nebach, unfortunately)

trend of “Half Shabbos” whereas people keep full Shabbos but are texting throughout

the day (hence “half Shabbos”). What’s the halacha here?

Answer:

There is no such thing as half Shabbos. Keeping Shabbos 99% is desecrating it 100%.

Using any electronic devices on Shabbos is strictly prohibited, possibly even D’Oraysa

as using electricity (where internal circuits are connected and completed ) involves

melachos of Aish, Boneh, Soser and Molid to name a few. (See Chazon Ish Orach Chaim

Siman 50:9)

Again, there is no valid halachic permissibilty to text or otherwise use a cell

phone on Shabbos Chas V’Shalom (besides in life threatening emergencies), and all

who do so will ultimately have to deal with the heavenly consequences. May Hashem

have mercy on His holy nation and spare them from desecrating the holy Shabbos and

His holy name.

Speaking from experience, this behavior is NOT normal.

Now as a friend, what should you do? Clearly, she isn’t looking to open up to you. You can tell her that if she needs someone to talk to, you will listen and be there for her, and you will keep everything she says confidential.

If this beahvior persists, I think you ought to let her parents know. Alternately, you should speak to her kallah teacher, who may be able to get out of her what it is that’s disturbing her. Or suggest to her that she speak to her kallah teacher or call a rav.

I’m sure flowers & co. who maintain its not okay for anon men online to advise tznius issues surely would say it is entirely improper for men and women to be posting altogether to the opposite gender here online.

Right?

If you work with a woman, and she tells you her washing machine broke. Might you give her advice on who she can call, or what to do?

Now lets suppose she asks you how much makeup you think is appropriate for her to wear, or some other questions portaining to dress, that I won’t even mention, even though I can find it on threads, would you answer?

Do you see a difference, or it’s all the same to you?

mdd: read mischiefmaker’s contradictory posts and you will see that it’s all bubba meisis.

In one posts she says she’s aware of the halachos and knows she’s not following. In the other she says how good it is to find out from men here so she won’t transgress.

As I said. Bubba meisis.

mischiefmaker: I searched a bit through the threads to see what you’re talking about. I didn’t see a single post that proves what you said. Can you please point one out where you actually asked a question and got an answer that helped you understand what is acceptable.

I did find the following though – with you being the author:

Whoever said that women dress 4 each other is 100% correct! As a by girl all i care about is what other girls and women think. I couldn’t care less what the boys and men think-they probably don’t know whats “in” anyhow. I don’t know-im not in shidduchim but i imagine that its a bit different at that stage and once ur married.

What a contradiction to what you said here!

And another post:

I didn’t read the entire thread but I want to add something. Being a by girl myself (currently) and knowing that I don’t dress perfectly, a lot-even most of it is from peer pressure. And for anyone who thinks we don’t know the halachos-we most definitely know them and whoever violates them is doing it quite knowingly. Yes, every time I go against halacha knowingly I feel mighty guilty but there is a major pressure in today’s society that many girls (myself included) can’t always fight. Whether its right or wrong is a different story.

So doing the right thing isn’t important. Well, isn’t it obvious: I dunno-just my thoughts and you can’t change them.

Do you really care if it’s acceptable or not to discuss tznius online with men? I think not.

And another thing: Tznius guildlines are not only for when you are in the presence of men. It applies for when you are in the presence of women too, and also when you are saying devorim shebikdusha.

Ever person is capable of learning from their mistakes. I agree with Health. Speak to the Life guard first. If it doesn’t help, only then should you speak to the Director.

Flowers, WIY said “it appears” to be non-tsniusdic.

Tznius is all about appearance. If it appears not tznius, then it isn’t.

I think that although on some level it may appear untznius, it tactually benefits many women who just don’t realize what dressing tznius requires, as well as how detrimental their lack of dressing tznius is for themselves and for the men they cause to stumble. If anything, the issue of tznius in our communities is not talked about enough..

Violating tznius in order to prevent violating tznius? Doesn’t sound right.

I agree with you 100%. Some threads boggle my mind.

a mamim:

I didn’t write it. I copied and pasted it because I thought it applied to this thread. It wasn’t my intention to make it seem like I wrote it.

josh31: well said

I will add, that it may also be bital zman for women too. Besides for affecting tefillah, are kids getting less attention because their mothers need to check in here?

once saw a quote: “Do something for your dog, he’ll think of you as god, do something for your cat, he’ll think he’s god.”

Self centered people act like the cat.

RK:

Very surprised at your post. A waste of Hashem’s time???? Even if someone were to daven 20 hours a day, it wouldn’t be a waste of Hashem’s time.

>> if one is petitioning a worldly king, mah sh’ein kayn, the King of the Universe, one should be as brief and to the point as possible.<<

Not if the wordly king was your father.

Not if you had a special relationship with this king.

And not if this king made it clear he loves spending time with you.

When you speak to your mother, do you just talk to her to make a request, and end the conversation? Imagine how she would feel if you did that?

And Hashem isn’t a human king/parent. He won’t get tired of hearing from us. It says if Hashem didn’t think about the world for one second, it would disappear. Hashem thinks about each and every one of us every nanosecond. He pays attention to our thoughts and actions every nanosecond. How can we be wasting His time if he is paying attention to us the entire time anyway?

>>You cannot run a school if one girl feels that her davening will allow her to skip the first period or two and another girl feels that her chesed mission is more important than class and a third girl feels that she’d be more spiritually accomplished by learning sefer X when the class is learning sefer Y. That’s not a school — that’s anarchy.<<

When I was in elementary, a girl in my class only came to school for a half day – lemudei kodesh. Another girl went out of class during literature. Another girl went around to all classes for attendance. There were no drawbacks.

Personally, I’m jealous of someone who has the patience and desire to stand every day for one hour saying Shemone Esrei.