Forum Replies Created
The Rambam says: “However the children and the grandchildren of these errants, whose parents have misled them, those who have been born among the Karaites, who have reared them in their views; each is like a child who has been taken captive among them, who has been reared by them, and is not alacritous in seizing the paths of the commandments; his status is comparable to that of one who has been coerced. Even though he later learns that he is a Jew and becomes acquainted with Jews and [the Jewish] religion, he is nevertheless to be regarded as a person who is coerced, for he was reared in the erroneous ways [of his parents]…”
Jothar: According to what the Rambam says, what you said is totally wrong.
I don’t know what R’ Moshe says but it’s certainly more than what you wrote Jothar. If a tinok shenishba is expose to a frum Jew from speaking him 2 minutes on the phone, does he lose that status? What about seeing a Jew for two minutes? Doesn’t make any sense.
You also can’t decide that being exposed to a frum web site is equivalent to being exposed to Frum Jews.
It’s all a facade. On a video that had a Baal Teshuva used to work in Hollywood said “the people in Hollywood are the most miserable people on earth”.
And most of their marriages don’t last very long!
I highly doubt it.
cantgetit: I never said s/he posted on Shabbos.
apushatayid: I don’t understand why you are arguing about this. It is very clear this person grew up in a frum environment. Google can teach about Judaism, but the way s/he talks isn’t just knowledge about Yiddishkeit. It is totally the way a frum person would talk. And this troller admitted that s/he is (or at least was at that time) in Australia!
I know a lot about christianity, am I a former member of the church?
Your question doesn’t prove anything, since most of us don’t know enough about that religion nor the knowledge that YOU know to answer the question.
However, whether or not we should be calling attention to this behavior, there is no doubt whatsoever that this person was brought up in a frum environment.
I don’t think “docile” is a necessarily a positive attribute for adults
I would think this is the perfect place to call attention to this behavior. This place has potential to be completely anonymous, and can make him/her just enough embarrassed to make him change without actually making it hard for him to face people. And if the behavior is corrected, then nobody need know about it at all.
What a smart way to be Mekarev a lost Jewish soul who’s posting on Shabbos….
This troller seems to be a troublemaker and an obnoxious person. If indeed s/he is posting on Shabbos, then s/he is an OTD person because there is too much knowledge there about yiddishkeit. Or perhaps people think this person is frum but posts on Shabbos – like there are “frum” people who text on Shabbos. Being polite about the chilul Shabbos isn’t going to be “mekarev” her/him. And calling him on this behavior isn’t going to make the situation any worse nor make him decide to continue being MS
mommamia22: What your saying makes sense.
Aries: Thank you. I like the idea of having a meeting and setting rules down.
nobody would ever get married if it weren’t for the Shadcan and their tactics. Thank G-d for the shadcan.
Some incompatible shidduchim that end up in divorce also would never have happened if not for the manipulative & deceiving tactics of shadchanim.
He was raised in a culture that did not even allow the thought that he could go out to work and support his family – if it did occur to him, he had been taught that it was an evil thought that must be purged. Is this what the system is coming to?
How do you know this is why he stooped to theft. Did he say that, or this is your assumption?
Making challah now. Will have your uncle in mind.
Supergirl: what happens if you simply tell her “that’s a mean thing to say”? or “what a nasty thing to say”? But don’t say it like you’re hurt. Say it strongly with confidence.
real israeli: I like your idea.
Tell them you are counting to 3. If they don’t stop by 3, you send them to their room for a timeout. If kid is 5 yrs old, they have to be in the room alone for 5 minutes. For 7 yr old, 7 minutes. For every time they come out of room before time is up, give another minutes.
ZosHaTorah: How did you answer the question?
lolkatz: I highly doubt it.
MeinMeinung: I like your answer.
Real Israeli: Isn’t Israel the home for all Jews, no matter where in the world they live?
I think Schwartz is the most common.
Popa: though I can’t provide a source, I do know it’s 100% correct. A half sibling has same halachos as full sibling.
Go to your local library or go online, and find self help books that resonate within you. Read, read & read. If you’re a woman the book “Healing Your Emotional Self: A Powerful Program to Help You Raise Your Self-Esteem, Quiet Your Inner Critic, and Overcome Your Shame” by Beverly Engel may help you.
You can post questions about KSH, CSH, SH, BASH, PERL, PHP, SED, AWK and OTHER Unix shell scripts and shell scripting languages here:
WOI: You have decided you are correct, and therefore are looking for an excuse why everyone else thinks you are wrong. You found it: it must be because automatically everyone blames the man. That is not true at all.
Perhaps she is pushing you to earn more money, because you are pushing her to earn more. It’s not her responsibility no matter what her potential to earn is. The only thing she should be responsible for is paying back the loans for her masters (unless you were the one to push her to do it).
Now let’s see. Your expenses are $6000 a month + other expenses, so something like $7000 a month. Her earnings are somewhere like $2400 before taxes ($60x10x4), after taxes should be something like 25% of monthly expenses which is $1750, which is what you state you want.
There is a quote: If two people tell you you are drunk, you should lie down. I came to my (incorrect) conclusion because of the pressure it seems you are putting on your wife, and you went to 4 therapists (spent thousands by them) and they all told you it’s your fault. Sorry, while I can’t possibly know the full story, and all these therapists may be idiots (who just blame the man for everything), it is highly unlikely especially since you are highly articulate, and you could clearly express what is going on (not everyone can do that), so even if initially they thought you are wrong (since you’re a man – highly doubtful though), you should have been able to explain the situation well enough.
Working on it: My apoligies for jumping to the wrong conclusion. I have seen too many who throw the burden of income on their wives, when it really is their responsiblity to support the home. I didn’t have the whole picture. Hatzalcha rabba.
You can’t compare both sceanrios. The second guy’s father clearly paid for son’s education, the first one had to pay on his own. There are other factors to consider too. The second guy learned for ten years? Either he got help from parents or his wife had a great job. First guy didn’t have that.
With all the great advice over here, I think it’s all for naught. There is more than a trace of narcissism in his posts.
Aries: wow! your post is amazing.
1. Consider the desired action a ‘procedure’, and separate it into smaller ‘tasks’, as though you were going to teach it to a trainee. Write a brief outline or draw a flow chart if it helps you to clarify things.
2. Next, sit upright in a comfortable chair and imagine that you are starting with the first task. Run through the entire action thoroughly in your imagination. At the same time, be aware of your emotions: are you experiencing any of the feelings which have made the procedure difficult to start doing? Let’s call these your ‘inhibiting feelings’.
3. Keep working through the task in your imagination: do it with powerful will and focus, while experiencing the inhibiting feeling at the same time. Try to keep the inhibiting feeling going as you continue. You can even try to intensify the inhibiting feeling as much as possible while you imagine doing the task with focused and unwavering determination. Continue until you have reached the end of the first task. Repeat this a few times.
4. Follow this same method with each of the other tasks in the procedure until you have performed the entire procedure in your imagination. Repeat as desired.
5. Start making it a point to go through these steps whenever you notice an ‘inhibiting feeling’ about any action you need to do. Make a habit of pursuing any feelings of ‘being blocked’ or ‘feeling too lazy’ you happen to experience during the day, and using this method on them, making sure to perform the related tasks in your imagination with great will, purpose, and focus.
6. After doing this for a while, you’ll probably begin to find that it has become too easy to simply go through a procedure in your imagination: the inhibiting feelings won’t be strong enough to offer a good challenge anymore. So, the next step will be to use this same method, but to actually do the tasks with real action, working with powerful will and focus while trying to keep the inhibiting feeling as strong as possible.
7. Make this your new hobby. Start hunting for and and going after these ‘inhibiting feelings’, and see how many you can ‘score’ each day. It’s a challenging new game you can play regularly.
According to maxihealth description of Formula 605, it contains melatonin.
Happiest: I find that taking calcium helps have a full night’s sleep.
“The 7 habits of highly effective people” by Stephen R. Covey.
There shouldn’t be female doctors, nurses, therapists, teachers, salesladies. All poffessions and all kinds of employment should be filled by men. Even women’s clothing stores should be run by men.
And why limit it only to work? Grocery shopping should be done by men. They should even put their kids on the buses, because women cannot be out on the street. Doctors appointments, you guessed it. Men have to take care of that too. Shopping for clothing and shoe for women and children ought to be done by men too. Of course the women won’t need much clothing, since they will always be indoors. And oh, yes! what about simchas? Bar mitzvahs is no problem. It will be all male affair, but what about chasunahs?
And oh, what an ideal world!! Your wife is depressed because she locked up inside the whole day? Just explain that this is the way the Torah wants and her disatisfaction is just the yetzer hara in the form of feminism.
apushatayid: I wasn’t referring to kollel couples. I was referring to either men who are too lazy to earn a decent living, or men who try hard but just aren’t making enough.
Why do you suppose it’s better for a man to work two jobs, and not have any time for his family, than for a woman to take a part time job, and they take care of the family together in whatever way works for them? Not all working men have the stamina to work work two jobs, nor are many willing. There are also men who are not interested in helping out at home nor willing to make real effort to earn a decent living. Then what is a woman to do?
This OP annoyed me because many wonderful women work VERY HARD juggling both their family and their job, and they get critisized!
>>Since when does the Torah have to support Feminism?<<
Where in the Torah does it say a woman is not allowed to work?
Says who working equals feminism?
You question why would women needlessly accept the klalah of work upon themselves. They don’t.
If they work even though they are adequately supported from their husbands, they don’t have the burden of parnasah on their head! So it isn’t a curse for them. If they work because they need the money, it isn’t an option. They have no choice!
From what I see, the biggest problem with texting is that it’s addictive. It’s not even the texting itself. Those who text, are constantly checking their cells to see if they received a message.
This is a question that was sent to someone who sends out halacha emails:
I wanted to ask you about the new (and exciting for many, nebach, unfortunately)
trend of “Half Shabbos” whereas people keep full Shabbos but are texting throughout
the day (hence “half Shabbos”). What’s the halacha here?
There is no such thing as half Shabbos. Keeping Shabbos 99% is desecrating it 100%.
Using any electronic devices on Shabbos is strictly prohibited, possibly even D’Oraysa
as using electricity (where internal circuits are connected and completed ) involves
melachos of Aish, Boneh, Soser and Molid to name a few. (See Chazon Ish Orach Chaim
Again, there is no valid halachic permissibilty to text or otherwise use a cell
phone on Shabbos Chas V’Shalom (besides in life threatening emergencies), and all
who do so will ultimately have to deal with the heavenly consequences. May Hashem
have mercy on His holy nation and spare them from desecrating the holy Shabbos and
His holy name.
There is no such thing as a “half Jew”. Either a person is Jewish or not Jewish. Jewish is one who is born to a Jewish mother or converted according to Jewish law.
Having a non Jewish father doesn’t disqualify a girl who is Jewish from birth from marrying a Kohen.
Speaking from experience, this behavior is NOT normal.
Now as a friend, what should you do? Clearly, she isn’t looking to open up to you. You can tell her that if she needs someone to talk to, you will listen and be there for her, and you will keep everything she says confidential.
If this beahvior persists, I think you ought to let her parents know. Alternately, you should speak to her kallah teacher, who may be able to get out of her what it is that’s disturbing her. Or suggest to her that she speak to her kallah teacher or call a rav.
There should be no strings attached when starting a thread. You want to respond to someone, respond. You don’t want to, you don’t have to. People can have all different kinds of valid reasons to not want to respond.
Yid4life: This is a public forum. It’s not a private conversation on the phone.
I’m sure flowers & co. who maintain its not okay for anon men online to advise tznius issues surely would say it is entirely improper for men and women to be posting altogether to the opposite gender here online.
If you work with a woman, and she tells you her washing machine broke. Might you give her advice on who she can call, or what to do?
Now lets suppose she asks you how much makeup you think is appropriate for her to wear, or some other questions portaining to dress, that I won’t even mention, even though I can find it on threads, would you answer?
Do you see a difference, or it’s all the same to you?
If you work with a woman, and she tells you her washing machine broke. Might you give her advice on who she can call, or what to do?
Now lets suppose she asks you how much makeup you think is appropriate for her to wear, or some other questions portaining to dress, that I won’t even mention, even though I can find it on threads.
Do you see a difference, or it’s all the same to you?
mdd: read mischiefmaker’s contradictory posts and you will see that it’s all bubba meisis.
In one posts she says she’s aware of the halachos and knows she’s not following. In the other she says how good it is to find out from men here so she won’t transgress.
As I said. Bubba meisis.
mdd: I also gave her some definite answers, didn’t I?
Yes, one small very obvious point. Something that by the age of 12 a frum girl can ascertain themselves. I highly doubt she and her female family members didn’t already know that.
Also, the men know the Halochic gedorim better and how certain things look in the eyes of men.
Growing up in a ffb home, a woman develops a very good understanding of what is acceptable for tznius and how things look in the eyes of others. I have not seen anywhere in the cr that the men posting here know the halochic gedorim better in regard to tznius. Most just give their own opinions here anyway.
Wny not ask a Rov? Some are embarrassed to do it.
Why not apply this to your next question?
mischiefmaker: I searched a bit through the threads to see what you’re talking about. I didn’t see a single post that proves what you said. Can you please point one out where you actually asked a question and got an answer that helped you understand what is acceptable.
I did find the following though – with you being the author:
Whoever said that women dress 4 each other is 100% correct! As a by girl all i care about is what other girls and women think. I couldn’t care less what the boys and men think-they probably don’t know whats “in” anyhow. I don’t know-im not in shidduchim but i imagine that its a bit different at that stage and once ur married.
What a contradiction to what you said here!
And another post:
I didn’t read the entire thread but I want to add something. Being a by girl myself (currently) and knowing that I don’t dress perfectly, a lot-even most of it is from peer pressure. And for anyone who thinks we don’t know the halachos-we most definitely know them and whoever violates them is doing it quite knowingly. Yes, every time I go against halacha knowingly I feel mighty guilty but there is a major pressure in today’s society that many girls (myself included) can’t always fight. Whether its right or wrong is a different story.
So doing the right thing isn’t important. Well, isn’t it obvious: I dunno-just my thoughts and you can’t change them.
Do you really care if it’s acceptable or not to discuss tznius online with men? I think not.
And another thing: Tznius guildlines are not only for when you are in the presence of men. It applies for when you are in the presence of women too, and also when you are saying devorim shebikdusha.
mdd: Right, of course. But the men in the cr do!!
Hudi asked in a thread called “Dressed to Kill” how much makeup is ok to wear.
You responded to her. One can’t determine what is “excessive”, “too much” etc.
Not to mention that not everyone in the cr thinks the same way. Nor does it even make sense to decide if it’s too much if you don’t see her.
She should be asking the females in her family. If she doesn’t trust them, she should ask someone she does trust.
Ever person is capable of learning from their mistakes. I agree with Health. Speak to the Life guard first. If it doesn’t help, only then should you speak to the Director.
Hudi, you can ask adult females also your complex questions about what is appropriate and what isn’t.
If my daughter felt she needed to get input from men online as to what is appropriate, I would be very concerned.
Flowers, WIY said “it appears” to be non-tsniusdic.
Tznius is all about appearance. If it appears not tznius, then it isn’t.
WIY: Adult women are well aware of it without this coffeeroom hashing about it so much. As for teenagers, they should be taught about it by their schools and mothers minimally (perhaps depending on the kid). Too much exposure (for teenagers) of this fact of life is detrimental.