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Once upon a time, there was an old man who used to go to the ocean to do his writing. He had a habit of walking on the beach every morning before he began his work. Early one morning, he was walking along the shore after a big storm had passed and found the vast beach littered with starfish as far as the eye could see, stretching in both directions.
Off in the distance, the old man noticed a small boy approaching. As the boy walked, he paused every so often and as he grew closer, the man could see that he was occasionally bending down to pick up an object and throw it into the sea. The boy came closer still and the man called out, “Good morning! May I ask what it is that you are doing?”
The young boy paused, looked up, and replied “Throwing starfish into the ocean. The tide has washed them up onto the beach and they can’t return to the sea by themselves,” the youth replied. “When the sun gets high, they will die, unless I throw them back into the water.”
The old man replied, “But there must be tens of thousands of starfish on this beach. I’m afraid you won’t really be able to make much of a difference.”
The boy bent down, picked up yet another starfish and threw it as far as he could into the ocean. Then he turned, smiled and said, “It made a difference to that one!”
So for those whose lives are saved (or at least they are currently not critical) because they got the first wave of the virus as opposed to their life being in danger due to the third wave, it made a difference to that person that they were exposed to the virus. And for those that lost their lives unfortunately, due to them or others not being careful to follow the rules, it made a difference to them. It is a moral dilemma being that if the OP theory is correct, then peoples lives may have been saved as well.
I do not disagree with you that if people would have been more vigilant, there are lives that possibly would not have been lost. It is is tragedy and so perhaps I should have used the words that it worked in our favor. But I also think that possibly has a positive side to it, which was and is important too.
refoelzeev: I don’t think you understood what I said. I am talking about youth and pregnant women and even babies. It seems to me that it is whole lot better that they already got the virus in the first wave. This mutated virus seems to have a much worse effect on them.January 17, 2021 2:21 pm at 2:21 pm in reply to: Can you erase my messages I mean your messages, I mean my… #1939556
Reb Eliezer: From Ohr Sameach website:
Michael from Pittsburgh wrote:
Does the “Cherem d’Rabbeinu Gershom” [“social excommunication”ed.] against reading someone’s mail also apply to E-Mail? At work we all share one E-Mail account, and sometimes I find it difficult to overcome my curiosity.
Rabbeinu Gershom (960-1040 C.E.), “The Light of the Exile,” was one of the earliest and greatest scholars of Ashkenazic Jewry, and led the most prestigious center of Talmudic learning of the day. In his times, there arose a need to institute a number of new measures, called “takanot.” These included the banning of polygamy and the requirement of mutual consent in divorce.
Amongst his most well known enactments is the one you mentioned – the prohibition against reading people’s mail. In those times, Jewish traders in different countries communicated in writing. Often their letters contained sensitive business information which could be very harmful if read by an outsider. As a safeguard against this, Rabbeinu Gershom legislated against reading people’s mail.
What about E-Mail? Is reading E-Mail on a computer screen included in the “Cherem of Rabbeinu Gershom”? I posed this question to Rabbi Chaim Pinchas Scheinberg, shlita, and he made no distinction between regular mail and E-Mail.
You wrote, however, that you share a joint account. Here, the question can be asked, “Is an E-Mail message in a joint account like a post card?” Concerning post cards there is a doubt whether or not Rabbeinu Gershom’s decree applies, since the sender seems unconcerned if others read it.
On the other hand, perhaps the sender trusts that no one will push the button and “open” the message – just as when you send a letter you expect that no one will open and read it.
I asked Rabbi Scheinberg about this as well. Here, too, he made no distinction between a joint account and a private account. People expect that no one read their messages, and it should not be done.
I hope this knowledge helps you overcome your curiosity. If not, let me remind you of the positive commandment of “v’ahavta l’reacha ka’mocha” – “Love your fellow person as yourself.” Our Sages explain this as follows: One must not do to somebody else what he wouldn’t want the other person to do to him. Would you like someone else to read your personal E-mail?
Shulchan Aruch, Yoreh Deah 334:22.
Aruch HaShulchan 334:20.
Herald of Destiny, by Berel Wein, Shaar Press.
Leviticus 19:18, Shabbat 31a, Maharsha.January 17, 2021 7:42 am at 7:42 am in reply to: Can you erase my messages I mean your messages, I mean my… #1939451
yes you dont own the messages which are on the other phone, however who does own them?
Any content that is on someone’s phone belongs to the owner of the phone. And what’s on your phone belongs to you. So the same content can belong to more than one person.
Look up Rabbeinu Gershom on the ban of reading someone else’s mail.
Some of what is found on the subject:
Reasons for the Ban
There are a number of reasons given for this ban:
We do not look at others’ correspondence so that we do not come to reveal gossip or a secret, as that would be rechilus (forbidden talebearing).2
<b>Reading someone else’s writings without permission is like borrowing something without permission, which is a form of theft.</b>
It is incompatible with the rabbinic teaching, “Don’t do unto others that which you do not want [to be done] to you.”
<b>May one who received a letter or email from an individual reveal to others what was written?</b>
One who received a private letter or email from an individual is prohibited from sharing it with others, unless he receives explicit permission from the sender. Accordingly, that which people are accustomed to forward private emails or messages to other acquaintances, may only be done if one has explicit permission from the sender.January 13, 2021 11:41 pm at 11:41 pm in reply to: Can you erase my messages I mean your messages, I mean my… #1938547
The ones n this tread. Which post do you think is incitement?January 13, 2021 5:14 pm at 5:14 pm in reply to: Can you erase my messages I mean your messages, I mean my… #1938463
Syag: I don’t think ubiquitin’s post can be considered incitement.January 11, 2021 1:01 pm at 1:01 pm in reply to: Can you erase my messages I mean your messages, I mean my… #1937537
I didn’t read all your posts. You asked if it’s rude. So I think there is nothing rude about asking someone to remove your messages. I would think that any decent person would honor that request. Especially if he would understand your feelings on specific messages. Any person who is indecent enough to deny this request, I would keep away from.January 11, 2021 1:00 pm at 1:00 pm in reply to: Can you erase my messages I mean your messages, I mean my… #1937535
1: A person should pretty much not leave any evidence of something they wouldn’t want others to see or know. It’s once thing saying it to someone in private. Sending it through any written medium is plain foolishness. As a wise person said “zei nisht a nar mit a tzetel”.
2: Never send an angry text message. Especially to someone that you need to be on good terms with. I have heard of people regretting it big time.
3: Now that the messages were already sent. What should you do? Why do you need to ask anyone in the CR? Simply ask the person to delete them. Nothing wrong with asking. Do they have to delete them because “they belong to you?”. No, they don’t. Words do not belong to you – even spoken ones – after they are spoken to sent out.
Speech has been compared to an arrow: once the words are released, like an arrow, they cannot be recalled, the harm they do cannot be stopped, and the harm they do cannot always be predicted, for words like arrows often go astray.
BH I don’t know the process that takes place before medicating a child. Nevertheless, one thing I can tell you. I highly doubt the doctor that prescribes the medication is doing any evaluations of the child. He is prescribing based on the recommendations and evaluation of others. And if a social worker or psychologist is involved, then their opinion is going to hold the most weight whether the child should be medicated.
A very important component when considering medicating a child, is not only the child should be evaluated, but the parents as well. That means checking if the parents respond appropriately to their children and are not in fact causing the issues. Asking the parents questions and the child too on what goes on at home. I don’t know if that is done, but I’m guessing it’s not.
I haven’t researched the issue, so I don’t have hard statistics. In my experience, and based on conversations with the professionals that I know (psychologists and social workers), the incidence of inappropriately medicating is currently extremely low.
Usually, the decision to medicate is done either in conjunction with a professional such as a psychologist or social worker or at their recommendation. So using them as proof that there isn’t inappropriate medicating is like asking the wolf to guard the chicken coop.
That is not to say they are always or even usually wrong to medicate, only that you cannot use their words to substantiate your claim.December 25, 2020 8:46 am at 8:46 am in reply to: Why do girls need to learn Sifsie Chachamim inside? #1931920
“I believe I heard somewhere that if one is davening for others with intention of getting answered first, that it doesn’t work.”
People don’t understand why it should work, so they say it doesn’t work. Nevertheless, things in the spiritual realm do not necessarily have to be understood by us mortals.
It works because it says it works. It does not say anywhere it has to be lishma. (except by people who think their logic determines if it works.)December 7, 2020 10:59 am at 10:59 am in reply to: Was Every Married Guy Perfect when they Went Out on Dates? #1926594
Kol hakovod. And Hatzlacha rabba.
Gadolhadorah: Since it’s important for you to know what political leanings your husband will have, then absolutely, discuss them with the people you date. But not everyone finds it important.December 7, 2020 9:00 am at 9:00 am in reply to: Was Every Married Guy Perfect when they Went Out on Dates? #1926539
It is very important for you to explore why this is happening. You should either ask some trusted friends if they can be honest with you and tell you if there is something they see that may be turning off the girls you date. Or find a dating coach or therapist to help you explore what it is.
Sometimes what is turning off a dating partner, may be detrimental to a marriage. Find out what it is. If you know what it is, and think that anyway nobody is perfect (the way you ask your question may be an indication of something like it), that is the wrong attitude. Fix it. And not only for while you date. But it should be a genuine desire to change.
I do realize that it could be you are not doing anything wrong. And the right one just hasn’t appeared yet. But be smart and see if perhaps you can get some feedback from someone objective to let you know if there is some change that needs to be made.
the vaccine development and approval process seems to have been conducted to the highest standards of safety and efficacy.
Gadolhadorah: There is no way you can possibly know this. Do you know everything that was done to ensure the process was done “to the highest standards of safety and efficacy?”
Even if you can claim to have real inside info (which I highly doubt), it is not even possible for anyone to know if the vaccines are totally safe, as sufficient time has to pass before we see if it won’t have any negative effects. It can take years to determine if a vaccine is totally safe, not a mere few months.
In my view, the only ones who should take this vaccine (after it has been deemed assumingly safe), are those for whom covid-19 poses a great risk for them like the elderly, diabetics, and those with compromised immune system. I say “assumingly”, because as I stated, it is impossible to know after such a short time if it’s truly safe.
“In order for a person to receive ANYTHING from Hashem he needs to do more than just daven and say Tehillim with asking Hashem for help, HE NEEDS TO YEARN FOR IT AND DESIRE IT”
Most of what a person receives from Hashem is matnas chinam, simply a gift that we don’t necessarily deserve. Davening and/or saying tehillim is not a “just”. It is EVERYTHING. Yes, there are other things a person can do, but davening and saying tehillim for what we want or need is extremely powerful and will always always help (even if we don’t always see it).
If you were only talking about yearning for moshiach and not other things (though you used the word ANYTHING, so it doesn’t seem so), tefillah is called avodah she’b’lev and that means desiring it. As for being too comfortable to really yearn for moshiach, that I agree with you, even though I think that most people’s lives are not perfect and everyone needs a yeshua for something, so I am certain that everyone yearns for the coming of Moshiach at least sometimes.
Wolf; I find your question is appalling!
Always_Ask_Questions: I got you. Nevertheless, the school didn’t mention that if the parent doesn’t sign, the child cannot go to school. And I didn’t sign the form, so so far, no concern and I don’t need to keep my children home from school BH.
A parent should always evaluate if they are spanking their child out of anger or yelling excessively at their child (and ends up feeling bad after, because they realize they were wrong) should go for help before everlasting damage is done to their child. It doesn’t mean the parent is bad, rather it may be because of abuse in their own upbringing, their own shame, or their current circumstances that are causing them to be stressed or overwhelmed.
The child should not have to suffer. Go for help. You won’t regret it. If you don’t go for help, you may regret it big time.
Always_Ask_Questions: I am not sure how you are responding to my OP. The schools have sent home a form asking parents to sign a consent that their child should get tested. I cannot imagine that any good can come out of it, andit only gives a sense of foreboding. Your post does not respond to anything I said.
Amil Zola: An adult does not need to sign a form to take a blood test or throat culture.
Now that the percentages are down due to boro park screening drives, Cuomo has changed his “red zones” from zip codes (which no longer show elevated covid-19 percentages) to blocks. Showing him (by testing) that his excessive vigilance in “stopping” the virus is not necessary won’t work since he has an agenda.
Now tell me: what does he intend to do with those “blocks” that show cases of covid-19? It is extremely scary. Having a plan against a zip code is a lot harder to implement than with having a plan with a block. And then another block, and then another block until it’s the whole zip code.
What shall we do? Daven to Hashem. Only He can help us.
Amil Zola: I guess you are talking about testing and not about signing the papers. It is a good point, however, how is public opinion sufficient if Cuomo is blaming us anyway, and if the media will spin things how they like regardless of facts? Now that the testing how supposedly brought down the numbers, we’ll see if it had any effect. Will Cuomo stop laying the blame on our doorstep?
Always_Ask_Questions: Do you enjoy mocking other people’s opinions?
You can remove the wifi chip in the back. But for a yeshiva you should take it in to a place to do it for you? Why would a yeshiva that wants to have computer classes take the chance of not doing a full job? Even if costs money.
If anyone has symptoms of covid AND they feel weak (or getting weaker) they absolutely should check their oxygen level even if they don’t feel they have breathing issues.
When my mother had covid, and her saturation level was at 72, she insisted that she had no trouble breathing!! I called hatzalah and they took her in.
Syag: I don’t think I would have gone out 5 or 6 days after being sick for weeks even if I didn’t take a covid test to see if I still have it. At least 2 weeks without any symptoms is more like it.
Gadolhadarah: You answered Coffee addict Amein v’amein. He meant nothing about Trump. And it’s strange you think he did.
It’s a good thing you’re not anti-Semitic or no doubt you would blame the virus on the Jews.
Paying for a retest of foolishness. If you can’t believe the results of the first test, why should you believe the results of the second test?
If it is true that someone sent in two blank swabs and it came back positive then the test is totally worthless and should not be relied upon whatsoever.
I had covid in March. If I tested positive now, I would absolutely not self quarantine, as I don’t believe it’s possible to get it again.
I actually know of people who tested positive even though that they were for sure over covid. That being the case, I don’t trust the results at all, and I see no reason for anyone to self quarantine as a result of positive test.
If you live in areas where the virus is raging, then everyone who did not already have the virus should be careful. But if you live in a place like New York, then just go about your business, unless you have symptoms that indicate that you have the virus, or you are high risk.
“Hashem wants the Goyim to keep the 7 Mitzvos.
But SADLY almost NOone in the US keeps them.”
There are approximately 328.2 people in the US. Around 1.8 are Jewish. That leaves over 322 million non jews.
How in the world can you possibly know that most don’t keep them?
Also, is it a requirement to have the death penalty to be mekayem 7 mitvos? Where does it say that?
“BTW, your use of fancy Vocabulary – doesn’t make you any More Knowledgeable!”
That’s a pretty mean thing to say.
1- teenagers were/are not affected by the virus. So there is no reason for them not go to camp. the chances of any of them getting seriously sick is almost nil.
2- teenagers need something to do with their time. People with total lack of seichel make decisions that don’t include this very obvious fact.
3 – Why would day camps be more safe? In camp, they will be quarantined in a productive environment, while day camp they will be going home and about and more likely to spread the virus (provided they can and are still spreading it..
4 – Most teenagers, if not all, in NY were already exposed to the virus more than a month ago.
5- vactions is a better option? Are you kidding me?
LIttle Froggie: I think your idea is a good one. They should place signs on the buses stating how important summer camp is. They should also have loud speakers stating why summer camps is essential for the emotional health of our teenagers, and the lack of summer camps can have a devastating emotional toll on them C”V.
“Also, he didn’t gasp for air, and any med student knows that someone who tells you they can’t breathe, can”
SYAG: “Gasping for air” does not necessarily mean that the person can not breath at all.March 16, 2020 2:40 pm at 2:40 pm in reply to: Are our mistakes (not regarding mitzvos/sins) from Hashem? #1840409
Libb: Are you a Nevuah? How can you possibly know? Did Hashem tell you directly?
I’m wondering why you think the label “narcissist” is worse than being called an “arrogant, difficult, and self-centered person”?
Telling her not to use it is not going to help if she doesn’t have other outlets or activities to fill her time. Make sure she’s busy with other things to do. Shiruim, games, going places etc. And just plain quality attention.
Joseph: what is wrong with women voting? and what is your proof that it failed?
Klugeryid and Joseph is obviously one and the same.
Joseph: one who needs to smack their child to teach them the seriousness of some dangers has to because the child is too young to understand and it’s important to make sure they don’t do it. Smiras Shabbas is not required by a child too young to understand therefore there is no need to smack. If a child is old enough to understand and is still doing dangerous stuff they need help not a smack. Same applies for Shabbas.
I want to tell you what worked for me. In the morning when my son didn’t want to get up after I tried getting him up, I sat down and said tehillim asking Hashem that my son should get out of bed until he got up. Sometimes I started before it was time to get him up. I no longer have a problem getting him out of bed in the morning BH.
ZionGate: A Very good Point.
Philosipher: Just have in mind the teitch of the words you are davening.
When I think of translation during davening, I don’t feel it necessary to visualize. It’s when I ask (or beg) in my own words my requests I feel the need to visualize Something while talking to Him.
laskern: They say that you cannot look at the sun only what it does, similarly we cannot look at Hashem only what He does, Veyodato Hayom.
Very good point.
coffee addict: Why do you have to visualize something the way it has to be as opposed to how you want to visualize it
I don’t have to do it any certain way. I want to visualize the proper way. So I thought perhaps the CRers will have ideas. And I did get good ideas from everyone who responded.
Thank you to all who responded.
Laskern: Thanks for your detailed response. Is there an english edition to Sefer Beis Elokim?
Coffee addict: I can think that with logic, but not visualization since Hashem doesn’t have a physical form.
Shopping: I feel I need something.
Thefacemaven: I’m guessing that sefer is only in Hebew. I’ll look up Kaplan’s books. Thanks.
Syag Lchochma: If your kid would have brought the matter to your attention, would you have said something to the person?
Josef: I always make the caller give me an idea who they and their child are before answering shidduch questions.
Why do you need to know who they are or who their child is before answering shidduch questions?
You should answer according to what you know about the person they are asking about. Not according to who is asking.February 5, 2018 4:17 pm at 4:17 pm in reply to: @Chabad Shluchah Please Explain Why Davening To/Betten a Rebbe is Okay #1462790
Syag: I agree with most of what you said, however saying “that is not special for lubavitch. that is how we all do things and how we all see the messages delivered by our gedolim and rabbeim.”
I think we believe that gedolim and rebbeim have use the Torah to give advice hence calling it “daas Torah”, and we believe their advice may contain an extra dose of siyata dishmaya, but to say we believe that all advice from gedolim and rebbeim are a direct or personal message from Hashem? I don’t think so.
The OP asked a question that sounds very much like a question that you would ask.
Sefer HaChinuch does not say it is required for a married woman to wear her ring in public. Perhaps he says it is a good idea, but he doesn’t say required. It is completely and totally false to say that she is required to wear her ring in public.
Note that there are halachic shittas that a married woman is required to always wear her marriage ring in public. I’ve provided the source in previous threads.
A pack of stupidity.
My guess is you opened this thread in order to say that (stupid) statement.
Joseph: I did and she agrees with what I wrote.
According to your belief system, a woman must agree with everything her husband thinks, so this doesn’t prove anything.January 25, 2017 8:46 pm at 8:46 pm in reply to: 40 days before you were conceived… you were in the womb! #1211147
joseph: I understood that. And it is not true. One may daven for the gender that she chooses.January 25, 2017 7:18 pm at 7:18 pm in reply to: 40 days before you were conceived… you were in the womb! #1211143
LU: “Joseph – true, but from what I heard it still might be a problem to daven that a specific child be a girl, so one should ask a sheilah before davening. “
What does that mean?
And what does the following mean?
Golfer: “In a case where someone already has a son, or many sons, is it even permissible to daven for a girl?”January 25, 2017 5:36 pm at 5:36 pm in reply to: 40 days before you were conceived… you were in the womb! #1211141
People shouldn’t make up Halacha. There is no such Halacha that you’re not allowed to daven to have a daughter.