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My best investment was an Ergo Baby Carrier. Google it…its amazing.
My best investment in a baby carrier was Ittisa. She is way more amazing than an Ergo.
LOL and Boruch Hashem.
If I had a nickel for each time this is posted…..
MS’s, feel free not to talk to me 🙂
I feel the need to point out (and my Rov agreed) that some of the “newest” versions of scrabble have a “scorekeeping” component that does not involve writing. In that case, the Chashash of Kosev falls off, since the normal use does not include writing.
Also to solve this problem keep score (even during the week) with an Abacus. (Ask your own LOR for practical use).
What insurace company is offering this?
And what is the death benefit?
Can’t we leave off the personal insults!
If I really wanted to be mean, I would just say that someone who is someone who holds the Chazon Ish’s Shiita should not have his family supported after death. Logic being, if we support his family, it will make his death easier on them, and that will remove a reason for Hashem not to have taken him away.
I’m in that sort of mood, but not enough to withhold the “If I really wanted to be mean”.
End story? Don’t Double Guess God. He will Win, its His rules.
Offen Gemorah Bava Kama
i hate math!!!
Not everyone is cut out for math (which many people, including myself, find difficult to follow). Perhaps your talents lay elsewhere. Focus not on getting an A, but on passing and knowing what you need to get by.
Good luck.
Mr. 80:
That is why I said your original statement was vague. One must “Trust” in Hashem, but not “rely” as not to do the work required. If the work can not be done, one must still “Trust” Hashem that it will work out as needed.
Depends if it says “non transferable” or not.
Mr. 80:
Don’t worry, neither do I. It goes much deeper than either of us want to deal with here.
Marrying someone who you are strongly attracted to prevents problems later in the marriage.
Settling for someone who you are “not so” attracted to (but is “somewhat pretty) contributes to the “divorce crisis”.
TBT: The Anaf Yosef on Medrash discussed the hashkafic issues here, second answer.
it is obligatory to rely on Divine intervention.
nevertheless one is obligated in hishtadlus.
Interesting way of putting it. I would say Hashem gives us the ability to do Hishtadlus, and only with Hashem’s help will it work. However, if possible, one may not “rely” on Hashem coming to his aid, but must trust that if it comes to that, Hashem will help (also see Anaf Yosef)(what you said is vauge. If that is not what you meant, please clarify)
The ones you bake yourself.
These people are psychologically forced to say and commit to things that is way beyond their means.
COW. (Cash on Wedding). No Cashei, No Harei Atei.
gavra_at_work, I also believe its an attitude,many parents see it as a zechus to supprot children in learning for a few years
(Only) A few years! What are you, MO?!
The Yeshiva World standard is five to ten, with partial support (parole?) thereafter. Life support (sentence?) is recommended if you want your grandchildren to get into yeshiva day school, let alone be stuck in the various crisises (such as Shidduch, OTD & Cheeses).
Still Adar, or I would cry. Because its mostly the truth.
There are Halachos in Shulchan Aruch as per when and how far someone must travel to daven with a minyan. Learn them, they will give you Chizuk.
Will somebody be so kind and explain to me where $$$$ comes into the shidduch picture? You wanna marry the girl, or not? How does a house or no house change anything about her?
The Roshei Yeshiva decided. It is a simple formula:
1: In order to become a Gadol, you need to learn without outside worries
2: In order to learn without worries, you need to be fully supported (preferably money in the bank, ready to be transfered and agreed upon even before the shidduch is even looked at. What happens if C”V the FIL loses his money? It is grounds for a divorce!).
3: The full support should be done by the father in law, as payment for the Zechus that his daughter gets to marry the budding Talmid Chacham.
4: (And most critical) Everyone is a Gadol Hador (Otherwise, they would have no right taking money for learning), or is at least a potential Gadol Hador, or massive Talmid Chacham.
Therefore, everyone who wants to learn deserves full support. Go to the Lakewood Roshei Yeshiva, that is what they will tell you (and if Joseph was here, he would say the same).
Simple logic will suffice.
I actually agree with MosheRose here. If the boy is upfront and is only willing to get married if the in-laws provide a house, that is their business. The problem is if they want anything after the fact (which is NOT Nadin, by definition).
I think its a bit absurd for someon to have to go and work to pay there daughters rent.
Many parents are happy to suppot their children learning. It really depends on the attitude of the parents. I know many on both sides; some feel it is a zechus, and some feel it is a tremendous burden that they are forced into by the society.
There you go again, comparing right with wrong as if they’re the same! PETA is wrong!
LOL! Who says? And does PETA agree?
Maybe there is a parallel thread on the PETA boards discussing this very news item, with some PETA dude saying “but if we spray painted a furry hat, we would be right! We are saving animals!”
The science museum here is supposed to be very good. It’s just a very short walk from where I live. In fact, on Tuesdays my bus stop is right in front of the museum.
It is very good (or was that the one in Manchester?)
I’ve actually been to the science museum in Haifa and enjoyed it very much.
Feif Un: Then who will the men blame for all the problems in the world?! (separate post in case it is blocked)
GAW: nice quote from teh Ran. What should be learned from it now is that avoiding these things is on the man, not the woman. I see people who write “Well, don’t women know how hard it is for a man not to look?” That doesn’t matter. Blind yourself, as R’ Yosef did. Don’t try to impose new chumros on women to make you feel good about yourself.
Boruch T’hiye.
SJS: Actually, I think I would not have a problem with it (PETA), as long as they pay for it. I guess I have a different understanding legally than you do regarding damaging someone’s property as a protest. I believe the Bochrim should pay H&M, and are Over the issur of Gezailah if they don’t.
And once again, in this specific example, I agree the bochrim could have done better.
yeshivish- goes to a yeshiva.
Modern Orthodox- ascribes to modern movements in orthodoxy, like chassidus or the mussar movement.
agree and approve.
SJS:
I’m not arguing with you about the specifics of the case (which I stand by what I posted much earlier in the thread, and in my previous post), nor about the generalities (there is a time and place to break the law). I did not see the sign, so I won’t comment on it.
From your last post, you are bothered by the specific unthinking actions of the bochrim, and how it may have hurt their “cause”. No disagreement here.
As a postscript, a story, from a Ran in Keddushin (IIRC).
After Rav (the Amorah) died, his Talmidim decided that each one of them would make a neder to be mekabel one of their Rebbe’s chumrahs. Rav Yosef was the one who was Mekabel not to look outside his own four Amos, so that he should not see things he shouldn’t see. He worked and worked at it, but was unsuccessful. Seeing that he would be unable otherwise to fulfill his Kabalah, he weakened his eyes to the point where he was blinded.
It is easy for a woman to say “just do it” with Arayos. Hashem, in his infinite wisdom, created males with a strong Yetzer Hara for Arayos. Rav Yosef, an Amorah, was unable to “just do it”. It is a lifelong fight, and it never ends.
Or as I have posted before: “You don’t know the power of the Dark Side”.
SJS:
I’m not saying it does make it “right”. Right is a very subjective word. All I am saying is that (as I have said before) some (I think most) people are willing to break the law for their cause. If this is their cause, and they are willing to go to jail for it, then it (to a certain extent) changes the action from vandalism to a protest.
I agree with you that the concept is probably foreign to these bochrim, and they are doing it for “shtick”, as a dare, or (least likely) “growing radicalism on Orthodox Jewry”. But hypothetically, the concept of “civil disobedience” does and should exist, and the law is not the end all. I hope we all would have sat with Rosa Parks, or walked from Selma, even though it was “illegal”. If these bochrim were really doing what they did as a protest against the lack of Tznius on the billboard (which I did not see), and would pay damages, etc. to H&M, then OK, but they have failed miserably at that.
SJS:
You have to differentiate between a hate sign and regular spray paint. If the bochrim would have spray painted a “jewish star” over the sign, then we might be having a different discussion.
I can’t think of a good comparative example for non-jews, but lets say there was a new religion that included Mohamud as a prophet, and included his picture as an icon. A Muslim would want to “erase” the picture, and even though it would be illegal, they (themselves) would feel justified in doing so.
I don’t think anyone else posted this, if they did I apologize.
Please realize that OTD is not a line in the sand, saying Abandon all hope, ye who enter here . The schar of doing a single Mitzva is impossible for us to fathom, and you should encourage your children in all ways possible to do even a single mitzva if they are not at the level of doing all of them. For example, if your daughter is by you and you convince her to join you in shul on Rosh Hashana, she will hear shofar! What a Zechus! Even if she just lives with you in your home and does nothing else , she is mekayem the mitzva of Ner Chanuka when you light them!
Besides (even without the Jewish angle), what is her other option? Living in the street? With a “friend”? As a mother, do you want that for your daughter?
Of course not.
PBA:
It is a matter of percentages, not absolute values. Even if the kollel is smaller, the ratio of kollel type to “working – non klei kodesh” type is higher.
PBA:
First, I wouldn’t call Kollel a “problem”. Mr. 80 yelled at us already in this thread.
If the ratio of non paying to paying is too high, then the school will run out of money. In general, Kollel type are defined as non paying from the get-go, even if they can pay more (due to professional courtesy & the sort, let alone lack of funds). In a small school/single school area (which is the norm for OOT), a large proportion of the students will be from such families (which tend to have larger family sizes), especially if there is a SEED or Lakewood Kollel, or a G’vir who is paying for the Kollel for his town.
In other towns (in town or larger cities), the schools are larger and the ratio is lower. Also, the “kollel type” tend to concentrate in the “frumest” schools (since there are multiple schools), so the other schools don’t have to deal with their non payment.
DY:
Thanks. Didn’t notice that.
Feif: Did your Rov Pasken you have to change the racks?
J&W22:
Whether Kollel drives up tuition prices depends on the concentration of Kollel-type (including Klei Kodesh on discount) in the school you send to. Most OOT schools have big issues with this, to the point where it has already been posted here that the schools are unable to offer discounts to working individuals, due to the large discounts for Klei Kodesh, including those working in the schools (and sister schools).
However, somewhere like Teaneck, where there are fewer Kollel-type, Kollel-type is not the driving force behind large tuitions. There the schools need to “keep up” making the school similar to a prep school, but accepts everyone, driving up costs for those that pay.
A third type is the Lakewood type school, where there is a minimum tuition (since everyone is in Klei Kodesh). There is then an incentive to hold down costs (lakewood is known for smaller tuitions), but it may be to the detriment of the quality of education.
🙂
DY:
Because if the difference is small enough, it is worthwhile buying a new one.
Pesach is no proof to anything, as the Halacha is to be machmir crazy chumras that are shittos Yachid and would never be kept during the year, if that is your minhag.
http://www.oukosher.org/index.php/articles/single_print/1380207
Ta’am Lefgam is a Machlokes the Rashba & the Ran whether it is no longer Ta’am or it is Batel. Ashkinazim are machmir like the Rashba, and since on Pesach Chametz is not Batel, Aino Ben Yomo may not help.
As usual, AYLOR.
As far as your specific case, you may just want to replace the dishwasher. Compared to the price of a house, the difference between buying new racks & a new cheaper dishwasher is not great.
It should be with Mazel.
This generation is becoming very dependant on the (ever decreasing) wealth of the previous generations.
Which has nothing to do with Kollel, and everything to do with Tuition, simcha costs, and the need to keep up with the Cohens’. Even with median jobs, a frum family has no possibility of supporting themselves.
So no one here knows of anyone that this has happened to.
Must be Urban Legend. Maybe Snopes has something on it?
A wedding is the simcha of the Parents, not of the couple.
I dont know how eeryone is doing it, but from looking around at my kids friends, I see upwards of 50% and closer to 75% of couples in Lakewood, whether one or both spouses work, whether the work is part time or full time, whether the husband is learning or not, owning a house once they have 3 kids. (In my case- both are working at the present time, but despite having secular educations, arent doing well, because of the economy, like many others).
How do others do it?
Signing up for HUD at age 16-18. That way when the 10 year waiting period is over, you will be ready to buy.
PBA:
Perhaps part of the problem is that there are 22 year olds expect to be able to marry without a way to support themselves. Most 22 year old non frum jews are not married, let alone living on their own.
Does anyone actually have this issue, or is it urban legend?
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SJS:
In this case, you are correct. However, if the “defacer” did not do anything unlawful, I would not be in the right if I took action. Complain, public pressure etc. might work, but it might not.
Yes, if I would “desecrate the host” I would be stupid (Many Jews have been killed for much less), but if it wasn’t illegal (let’s say), there would not be much that a Catholic could do about it. And if he/she thought is was worth violence, then they would pay the consequences.
(In general, I don’t go for a “what if the shoe was on your foot” type of argument.) I might not like it, but my personal feelings are not the point. Furthermore, if the athiest in question decided that he didn’t like my
and illegally removed it, then he/she would be arrested (hopefully). That doesn’t make the doer feel (perhaps) that the action was any less worthwhile.Let’s bring this case specificly. If the Bochrim in question were arrested & thrown in jail for vandalism, would they still feel they did the right thing?
So no one would have a problem is an atheist spray painted over an add for a frum organization? It’s their belief that we are spreading lies.
But frumkeit IS the truth. 🙂
I wouldn’t have an issue if the athiest really feels it is offending, and there was no damage done (ie. a tarp covering). It is a free country (maybe).
Also, S., sometimes it is worth breaking the law and then paying the consequences, if need be.
Posting a picture for frumsinglegirl is Bad4Shidduchim!!!!
And since shidduchim is the one and only goal of every post-sem girl, doing something Bad4Shidduchim is the worst thing in the world.
Simple logic.
🙂
The kids feel they have a right to decide how much we neeed left.
Write them out, or pretend you have lost it all. If some children only feel you are there to take advantage of, they really want nothing to do with you, only your money.
Hopefully you have some children that are sane?
Why are you even slightly surprised?
BP is part of NYC. It is not KJ or New Square (or Mea Shearim). Don’t claim “it should be expected”.
DHM: May he arrive soon.
BPT: Assuming you are not inferring Lashon Hara, what do you mean?
I agree with SJS.
I have two frum families homeschooling on my block. To say “most families can’t do it” IMHO is a cop out.
Additionally, its easy to say “it can’t be done”. In Europe it was done. If you are serious about your’s & your children’s yiddishkeit it can be done.
If you “don’t want to” and are willing to live off Tzedaka, then it can’t be done. That has become a more than acceptable outcome in the Jewish world.
So my answer to the OP is simply “no”. Live off others’ Tzedaka like everyone else.