Forum Replies Created
August 21, 2012 9:03 pm at 9:03 pm in reply to: Shabbos Shoes #1134496
Rav Eliyashiv and Rav Shlomo Zalman Zatsal both lived very frugally and didnt have or spend money on extras. if you could polish your shoes to make them presentable for shabbos, fine. if you anyway have several pairs of shoes , then of course keep a pair special for Shabbos. as far as girls and women ,generally Shabbos shoes are less sturdy and prettier than strong everyday shoes. so its nice le’kavos shabbos to have them if you can afford it.August 21, 2012 8:39 pm at 8:39 pm in reply to: Tzniut Glasses #892200
i heard from a person in jerusalem that they are real ,but i don’t know if he just heard of them or saw them himself. i’ll check it out ,if i remember. it sounds like a good idea to me if they dont create vision problems. i know a frum man who if he has to go somewhere where he will be liable to see less than tzniusdik sights takes off his glasses. we cannot force society to meet our standards but we can try to limit our exposure as much as possible .what’s the problem with that. it’s kavod to women for their husbands and potential husbands not to be exposed to untsniusdik sights. and its good for the men too. so who gets hurt or upset by this. the ones who arent dressed properly. do they really dress that way with the intention of upsetting our men, and women. if so ,then adaraba, lets definitely all wear those glasses and foil their diabolcal plan.(actually i think its just a total lack of understanding of what tznius is and why its good for us. )August 21, 2012 8:24 pm at 8:24 pm in reply to: Chasuna Pictures Messed Up #892669
the photographer at my first child’ wedding was a nervous fellow who had very little patience. i told him about an issue with my face that i have since childhood so i have to be photographed from one side only. he said dont bother me with that. every other photographer i have ever met was understanding aND MADE SURE I WAS FACING THE RIGHT WAY IN FORMAL SHOTS. THE PHOTOGRAPHER AT MY SECOND CHILD’S WEDDING WAS PATIENT AND TOOK GREAT PHOTOS BUT WASN’T AWARE OF MAKING ALL OF THE BACKGROUNDS PRETTY. NU, IT DIDNT MATTER, THE PIX WERE MOSTLY LOVELY. THE PHOTOGRAPHER AT MY 3RD CHILDS WEDDING WAS JUST TERRIBLE HE PHOTOGRAPHED EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING FROM A CROUCHING POSITION SO WE ALL LOOK LIKE WE HAVE 10 CHINS ,EXCEPT FOR THE CHOSSON AND KALLAH. AND I HAD TO SPEND TONS OF MONEY TO PHOTOSHOP A FEW PICS TO HAVE A DECENT PORTRAIT OF WITH THE FAMILY. P.S. THE PICS TAKEN WITH MY OWN CAMERA, BY A FRIEND CAME OUT GORGEOUS. NO EXTRA CHINS) (PANASONIC,LUMIX) I ENLARGED THOSE AND PUT THEM IN AN ALBUM, BUT I DIDNT HAVE A FAMILY PORTRAIT ETC WITH MY OWN CAMERA. Baruch Hashem that these are our complaints. i am fortunate to have made simchos. and daven for more. and maybe Hashem wants me to be less vain so that’s why the pics were so horrible. i actually cried when i saw them, until i saw th
e ones taken with my camera, which made me feel a bit better.January 1, 2012 10:43 am at 10:43 am in reply to: Wedding Horror Story #840498
btw, i’m kind of disappointed that many people missed the positive note that you end with, cinderella. that despite the aggravating incidents you really enjoyed the wedding.
its a lesson for everyone. a lot of annoying things happen to us, but we can still enjoy life,if we have a good atttitude.January 1, 2012 10:38 am at 10:38 am in reply to: Wedding Horror Story #840497
cinderella. i used to twist my ankle all the time while wearing heels and platforms. Baruch hashem its better now, but no more high heels for me ,alas. the lasting damage is an inabilty to turn my ankle in to the classic yoga seated position. again alas. i’ve gotten over it. feel good.January 1, 2012 10:18 am at 10:18 am in reply to: should i stop posting #840411
coffee, i checked out the post. from the response there and here its clear that a lot of people have experienced being the last poster. got my answer.December 30, 2011 9:53 am at 9:53 am in reply to: Embarrassed #840879
health ,if you know the purpose of the protests ,please enlighten us. all i see is chillul Hashem. What do they want ? to start a civil war, and have brother against brother? if the SAtmar Rov could invite me to his house and my mother was not covering any of her hair then, then that goes to show that these people are all provocateurs and they have an agenda. i can’t see what kosher agenda they would have. they can move to a complete closed community and build tall walls and not have to see anyone different if they so choose. but the dat leumi community was in existence when they purchased their homes. and according to the video i saw they just stand around waiting for people to pass by so they can harrass them.
personally ,i think that a law should be passed which makes loitering in front of schools and playgrounds illegal for anyone who has no legitimate business to be there. bli kesher to the protests.December 30, 2011 7:07 am at 7:07 am in reply to: how to check profiles? #839981
thanks y’all.and gut shabbos,shabbat shalomDecember 30, 2011 7:02 am at 7:02 am in reply to: should i stop posting #840406
coffeeeaddict, i have been posting on and off for a year, but not steadily. therefore i’m not sure why you wuld be insulted as i’m not familiar with your posts.
goldenkint is actually golden child in yiddish. it can mean a wonderful child, or refer to looks, or be a name reference. it would be untrue and immodest of me to say all of the above in my case as i am often not quite ‘golden’
aries, thanks for the compliment. i’ll take it as suchDecember 29, 2011 9:27 pm at 9:27 pm in reply to: Wedding Horror Story #840474
kol hakavod to you for staying with your soiled dress and dancing and being mesameach the kallah, which is really what its all about. i hope your ankle heals and the dress survives a cleaning.
may all of your upsets be solvable with soap and water, or cleaning fluid.December 29, 2011 9:21 pm at 9:21 pm in reply to: Abolishing Chanukah?! #840415
oy vey noch a muhlDecember 29, 2011 9:19 pm at 9:19 pm in reply to: Mods, please do something. Thanks. #843852
i agree with middlepath. if someone is spewing venom maybe they should be blocked. its very offensiveDecember 29, 2011 9:18 pm at 9:18 pm in reply to: This Page Intentionally Left Blank.. #851138
mentschen huben gornisht vus tsu tiyen.December 29, 2011 9:16 pm at 9:16 pm in reply to: Increase in OTD Children… are made to feel like second-class citizens, #839843
i’ll try to remember to do paragraph breaks.December 29, 2011 9:14 pm at 9:14 pm in reply to: Embarrassed #840873
you catch more bees with honey than with vinegar. if it was about Torah and Torah values the hoooligans in bet shemesh would be sitting in beis medrash. and their wives would be starting joint bikur cholim and chessed organizations with their neighbors to be mekarev them if they so chose. its all a big bluff. i know so many chassidshe andchareidi families that are mekarev and host people even if their hair isn’t covered the way they hold. and it is mekarev!December 29, 2011 7:17 pm at 7:17 pm in reply to: Embarrassed #840867
health. why do you assume if someone is pained and embarrassed by the strife going on in klal yisrael ,specifically with the incident of he spitting in beit shemesh that they don’t care about the chilul shabbos or lack of tznius etc. i am pained by all of the above.
the Torah is darchei Noam and the extreme behavior gives Torah a bad name, and is a chillul Hashem .and i am embarrassed that people do such things in the name of the Torah and in the guise of frum Jews/
a counterpoint to the spitting on the 8 year old girl story. True story because it happened to me.
When i was 5 or 6 years old my parents spent the summers in Sharon Springs where my mother took the sulphur baths. there was a large Satmar group there also, The satmar Rov and Rebbetsin came there for the summer too. My mother met the satmar rebbetsin and they started talking. My mother told the rebbetsin that none of the Chassidishe little girls would play with me because i wasn’t dressed according to their standards. Tights and long sleeves. The next day the Rebbetsins niece who was spending the summer with them came to my house and invited me to play with her. as a result , all the other kids included me. i remember going to the house of the Satmer Rov and Standing next to the Rebbetsin during Havdala (she stood by the door to see the Havdala which was done in the other room, and i stood right next to her.) Later on my mother took me to the Rov for a bracha. There was kiruv, not spitting. And this took place in the early 1960s. So was the Satmer Rov frum enough . Yet he didn’t behave like those hooligans in Bet Shemesh!
In those years Frumme yidden were not all about the externals. my mother tells the story about when my fatner was sick and unable to work. she was worried about paying the yeshiva tuition in Yeshivas Chassam Sofer. Rov ehrenfeld calmed her down and said, “don’t worry. Hashem will help, the main thing is your husband should recover and you shouldn’t worry. after that whenever he saw my mother on the street he would cross over the street to greet her and ask how my father was, to make her feel good and not enmbarrassed. and in those days 1960, she didn’t cover her hair. so that’s what true yiddishkeit is about. accepting and welcoming. not spitting!!!!December 29, 2011 6:46 pm at 6:46 pm in reply to: Increase in OTD Children… are made to feel like second-class citizens, #839841
when i was in bais yaakov it was the generation after the holocaust. every child that wished to attend was accepted. the same for yeshivas chasam sofer which my brother attended. there were girls from frummer homes and less frum homes and even several not-frum homes. none of the girls from frum homes went off the derech because of their friends,. it just didn’t happen. people accepted each other. many frum girls became frummer. many not frum girls stayed that way. there was a lot more acceptance and most of the students in both the boys and girls schools grew up to have Torah homes and in many cases outdo their parents in certain levels of observance. it was like in the out of town schools even though i’m talking about new york. years later i see some of these girls who might have been less frum in high school and today they are much frummer. i understand what rebbetsin feinstien is saying. acceptance was the norm then, exclusion is the norm now. the problem is that people who are raised so sheltered actually think that if someone does something a bit different they are doing an aveirah. its not necessarily so. in our school in 1970 the skirts were supposed to reach the knees. a tefach above was acceptable if we wore dark not see through tights. out of 120 girls maybe 10 had skirts that covered the kness and i might be padding that number a bit. for many years the skirt lengths were not an issue and now its a problem again. but it is not clear cut about the knees and elbows having to be completely covered al pi halacha. as far as elbows all the sleeves had to do was reach the elbows, on the inside . and entire communities of shomrei mitzvot like the yekkish community followed rav shamshon rephoel hirsch and had a sleeve which covered half the arm tightly. its great that many pepple are more makpid on tsnius now but be aware that the halacha is not so clear cut ,so don’t say that everyone that doesn’t reach these standards is a sinner.
as far as acceptance. well some people who think they cornered the market on frumkeit think its their job to giver out points for observance to everyone else. other’ s like rebbetsin malkie feinstien understand that we only see the externals and only Hashem knows what’s really going on inside a person.
i met an old school ‘friend’ who used to look down on me because i wasn’t one of the below the knee skirt crowd. well she was was so condescending in her surprise at who and what kind of family i have now. i was so hurt and amazed. from her amazement at my yeshivishe kids and etc. you would have thought that she thought i was the biggest “shiksa’/. only based on her assumptions that if i looked like that then i must be much less frum than she was.
she obviously was so busy paying attention to everyone’s externals that she missed the “don’t embarrass a person it’s similar to shedding blood Halacha.”
Baruch Hashem i have forgiven her for her unfeeling,rude comments and hope Hashem will forgive me for my transgressions too.December 28, 2011 8:53 pm at 8:53 pm in reply to: Posting practices which annoy me greatly #838900
when posters are very stupid and say dumb things and argue especially if their opinions differ from mine. now who can argue with that. just kidding.
there should be a special font to indicate ‘just kidding” it would eliminate a lot of misunderstandings
how is that for paragraph breaks.
i’m an English major but i can’t be bothered to capitalise or fix minor typos because really i haven’t got the timeDecember 28, 2011 8:40 pm at 8:40 pm in reply to: So you're married…THEN WHAT?! #838855
kido, Ih Yirtzeh Hashem hope to see you flying too. its never ok to speak badly about others. it a major sin. but for young couples to be wrapped up in themselves is their right and it’s right for them to get to know each other and to be oblivious to others sometimes just happens. .you’ll be there and you’ll understand. they don’t ignore you, they just don’t see you. i know a young man who was single and didn’t get it when his first niece was born how everything revolved around the baby etc. he was very jealous and complained. Hashem helped and he now has 10 children, is no longer so young and laughs at his younger self because of course his kids fill up his time . G-d willing your spouse will fill up your world and your time in a good way. and eventually you’ll come back to earth but not with a bang.December 28, 2011 6:27 pm at 6:27 pm in reply to: So you're married…THEN WHAT?! #838852
kido , what do you mean when you say ” i see married pp basically living in oblivion!” oblivion to what , to whom,
i know a boy who got married and during sheva brachos week went with his Kallah to his parents house to look at some of the wedding gifts that were there. when he came in his mother reported ,”it was like she, the mother had become invisible. He could only see his Kallah.” the mom happily reports that after many years of marriage they are still blissfully happy, but she does get to see him, and his lovely wife and he sees her on a regular basis. Bli ayin hara , Halevai for all of klal yisrael.December 28, 2011 6:19 pm at 6:19 pm in reply to: So you're married…THEN WHAT?! #838851
“Gone will be my show, impressing everyone…”
if you are serious about this it means that nothing you have been doing is for real , its all a show. what about mitsvot, like chessed and davening. what about learning and growing as a person. what about taking pride in a job well done -whatever it is you are doing. what about looking nice because it makes you feel good about yourself (and is a lot easier on everyone else’s eyes also). i suggest you try and find out what really is important to you as a person- not for show- before you get married or else you might end up with the wrong person. if its all for show then it truly is an empty exercise.
I know a kallah who after she got engaged sent all kinds of baked goods to her chosson every shabbos. not for show. for real. because she wanted to show him how special she thought he was. “she said “he deserves it.” not everything is for show or should be for show. some people really enjoy, learning, working helping etc.
hopefully when you get married , the two of you become a family. your own family. and if you are lucky then Hashem will also bless you with children. life is what happens day after day. but marriage, being connected to another person who “knows all about you and still likes you” that’s the real deal. it sounds like you are not ready for marriage because you think its about getting a good shidduch. obviously the next question is then what. marriage is about giving. and giving and giving. and sharing. and not answering back your mother-in-law even though she’s soooo annoying!!!! becuz its not your husband’s fault that his mother is that way. marriage is about thinking about something other than what you can get , and what you want. and marriage with all its hard work should be fun. Marry someone you can feel proud of but comfortable with. marry someone that makes you laugh, makes you smile and makes you feel comfortable ,not tense when you are together. then you will know that you came home. the reason it says ” l’torah ‘l’huppa u’l’maasim tovim ,is that the maasim tovim are what you do when you take care of and give to your spouse. marriage can be sublime.
The only one who can explain what he meant is him. Ask for a clarification with a few examples of what”too girly ” is if you really need to knowDecember 23, 2011 9:27 am at 9:27 am in reply to: A "prayer" for a soul searching for his/her Zivug #998817
amen, may Hashem answer your tefillot and those of all klal yisroel. and write soon to report on your engagement B’Ezrat HashemDecember 6, 2011 8:58 am at 8:58 am in reply to: "Taliban Women" #833906
p.s. i’m also annoyed with these women because they’ve made perfectly nice looking shawls taboo. now i’ve got to go buy colorful shawls so noone should confuse me with them. b’emet!December 6, 2011 8:54 am at 8:54 am in reply to: "Taliban Women" #833905
its not ‘daas torah’ ,its not tsnius, its some weird, unhealthy cult type obssession.December 6, 2011 8:49 am at 8:49 am in reply to: cucumber salad recipe #833219
i was going to give you my recipe but ‘understand’ already did.its really good and easy. everyone loves it. you can add some pepper if you like. i also only
peel the cukes in stripes .it looks very nice and had added vitamins.December 4, 2011 9:07 pm at 9:07 pm in reply to: My Motzei Shabbos Rant #833241
generally,if people get so upset that you have a different idea than them and can;t accept it it is becuz they are jealous, or feel inadequate so they have to put you down. i know many people who work very hard and accomplish a lot more than me, and i admire them.i am not jealous so their accomplishments don;t bother me. but when a person has low self esteem,or feels guilty about their own choices,then they have to knock the next one down. dont sweat it.you are right.December 2, 2011 7:53 am at 7:53 am in reply to: Zumba=Not Tzanuah? #931251
zumba is based on latin dance moves which are intended to be very sensuous and provocative. that said it is possible to dance without being provocative if you stick to the steps and moderate the other moves. certainly the dances as danced originally are not tsnius but that doesn’t mean that you can’t dance them in a tzniusdik fashion. you can do the same with nearly every dance. yes ,it is proper to raise the sensitivity of a bas yisrael and avoid dancing in a provocative way ,and this includes all dancing. years ago i used to see girls at weddings dance in a very “prust” way and i never understood it. it doesn’t matter if you’re only dancing in front of women. its unbecoming to a bas yisrael. i think the classes should be renamed “kosher latin” and go out and have fun. just like we’re allowed to use parve milk with fleishig and fake bacon and shrimp, we should be able to dance fast to latin music albeit in a kosher way. and yes eliminate the unacceptable lyrics.June 14, 2011 9:12 pm at 9:12 pm in reply to: When young adult leaves to be Frei #776763
first let me say i really know how painful this is. second , i think it is very important that you get daas Torah and guidance from a Rov in dealing with this. Yes, your young person won’t speak to the Rov, or tHe therapist but you can ,specifically to get guidance on how to deal with this.
Be careful not to listen to others, i mean friends and family especially “the most frum ones”, because they are not necessarily qualified to give advice.
I know of a case where an otd child met someone and got engaged. several people said you can’t go to the wedding because they’re not frum, and its not a simcha, etc. the parents consulted a very frum Rov who after hearing everything said 1) you can go to the wedding. 2) it is a simcha and you may dance 3)Tell the “frum” relatives to call me and i will tell them how to behave. i must qualify that the couple in this case want to try and make a wedding which respects thier parents but also has their choices too. it is complicated and the rov said to only invite friends who will know that one of the families is not frum and it won’t be a typical charedi wedding. tHE ROV ALSO SAID THAT HE WOULD PERSONALLY TRY AND COME TO THE WEDDING HIMSELF. so try to find a rov who will guide you and May Hashem give you help in knowing how and what to say.
P>S> if you are interested i can tell you about the segula of Rav Fischer to help someone return in Teshuva. it involves baking challa for Shabbos, a brick, going to the kever of a tzaddik. I personally spoke to Rav AHaron Fischer, of Yerushalayim whose father told about this segula and he told me exactly how to do it. i have been told it works.
i decided to put in the directions because i may not have time later so here goes.
1)You must buy a brick. it cannot be a brick you find , it must be purchased. 2) write the name of the person, ben/ bas , the mother’s name, on the brick in marker.3) prepare Challah in the normal way. take challah, with or without a bracha depending on the amount of flour.4)put the brick in the oven and then put the challah in the oven.5) bake the challah with the brick in the oven.6) take out the challah and use for Shabbos. BUT LEAVE THE BRICK IN THE OVEN THE ENTIRE WEEK UNTIL THE FOLLOWING fRIDAY. you may use your oven as usual but do not take out the brick. 7) the following Friday prepare and bake a Challah again.8) take out your Challah and use it on Shabbos. Take the brick and with a marker write the following on it.
??? ????? ???? ?? ?? ???? ???/? ?? ______ ??/? _______ ??? ????/? ??????.
8) take the brick to the kever of a tzaddik, read out the passuk on it and put the brick on the kever of the tzaddik. 9) daven that Hashem should help!!! ( some add give tezedaka and say Tehillim but that wasn’t included in Rav Fischer’s instructions.
He also told me you can only do it one brick at a time in the oven and you have to eat the challah on shabbos.( which means that you have to have 2 weeks per person you want to do it for)June 7, 2011 9:38 am at 9:38 am in reply to: It's My Birthday! #778244
happy birthday. 4th sivan is the day that moshe wrote down the torah from bereishis till matan torah. a great day to join the world. my son was also born on 4 sivan and i thought it was a great day then and i still do.June 6, 2011 6:31 pm at 6:31 pm in reply to: "Goyisha" Music #775166
i really feel for you. its so hard giving up music we love and grew up with. i have a compromise. i stopped listening to songs whose lyrics i’d be embarassed to repeat out loud. thus i can listen to a lot of songs that aren’t problematic, and don’t have to give everything up. many artists have some songs which are inappropriate and others which are ok so that’s what i do. i also started listening to opera arias, so beautiful, but i have no idea generally what they are saying, although i understand its mostly nonsense but not inappropriate.- i do think its ridiculous that theycan sing with such emotion and be saying nothing really importantJune 5, 2011 10:49 pm at 10:49 pm in reply to: Who would you rather consult??? #779618
definitely avoid cross gender discussions , mentoring, guidance. keep that for purehalachic queries. better safe than sorryJune 5, 2011 10:45 pm at 10:45 pm in reply to: Tznius issue – what would you do? #774680
not such a tsanua discussion, with details, hey can we have a women only site, with dna testing to make sureJune 5, 2011 10:41 pm at 10:41 pm in reply to: Saying Yaaleh V Yavo Out Loud #774843
last time someone mentioned that they forgot and had to repeat. i immediately folded the entire page up in my siddur, very hard to forget whenyou cant turn thepageJune 5, 2011 10:11 pm at 10:11 pm in reply to: Black Hat Advice #775665
i can’t remember the exact type of yarmulka but suffice to say it was ‘blacker’ than we were used to. My son now learns full time in mirrer Yeshiva in yerushalayim , you can’t get much blacker than him. We are very proud of him. he is extremely frum, ehrlich and yes much “blacker” than the rest of the family but as long as the change is frummer not less frum we’re fine with it. it was a bit difficult for us at first because we sent him to a less black yeshiva , and my husband doesn’t wear a hat, but we got used to it. the main thing is respect, and know why you want the hat. what does it mean to you? as you said there are many Rabbonim and Talmedei Chachammim who don’t wear hats so what exactly are you looking for with the hat? if you can define it for yourself, and if you can not make divisiveness in the family but your motives are pure , it should work out. It also depends how old you are, and how you treat your family in other things. never forget that the Torah should be pleasant and a Talmid Chochom is supposed to spread Shalom in the world. Work on it as i Said gradually, but don’t push it or rush it. by the way, off the top of my head i can think of 4 of our family friends whose sons now wear hats even though the fathers don’t and everyone is fine with it. it has to be done with the proper intent and love and Hahem will help it work out.June 5, 2011 9:57 pm at 9:57 pm in reply to: Jerusalem is not for Sale! #775020
you owe Hashem Hakoras Hatov! and the people who serve and protect are not those who sit in the government and make policies, and they deserve Hakoras Hatov too.. unless you have never entered erets yisrael you also owe them Hakoras hatov for allowing jews to enter freely and live freely in erets yisrael, and keep mitsvos and learn Torah. in Erets yisrael,. if you don’t enter erets yisrael then that is something else. i never said to thank the medina, i said to thank Hashem. mostly everyone who does celebrate Yom yerushalayim is frum.
by the way, in Israel the definition of frum and not frum is quite different. Here let me describe a “not frum” person, over 90% of the Jews fast on Yom kippur, Have a seder, over 80% keep kosher homes, even among the not-frum, most people light candles and make kiddush friday night,.these are the not frum people. halevai the not frum Americans should be that frum! and by the way nobody said the nissim are occurring because of these or the other people. We don’t know why Hashem does what He does. but it is true that through your actions you become a tool for Hashem to use to achieve the reality He chooses. If you choose to learn in Yeshiva then you are a tool in providing zechusim for Klal yisrael, and help uphold the world, and if someone chooses to serve in the idf then they are a tool that Hashem uses to protect Klal yisrael. And if Chas Vechalila someone chooses to be a thief or a murderer then Hashem allows them to and they become Hashem’s tool also.June 5, 2011 9:02 pm at 9:02 pm in reply to: Black Hat Advice #775657
bochur1818. in my opinion ,first of all , the waY to approach this is gradually. start spending a bit more quaLITY TIME WITH YOUR FATHER, LEARN WITH HIM IF POSSIBLE, IF YOU DON’T ALREADY, AND LET HIM SEE THAT YOU ARE A GOOD ,SINCERE PERSON. WORK ON YOUR COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONSHIP SO HE FEELS RESPECTED, VALUED LOVED AND HONORED.He may feel threatened that his way isn’t good enough for you ,or he may believe that “A Hat does not make The man” so show him that you honor and repect him and that’s the first step. Step two, Tell over stories of Gedolim, and what you want to emulate in their behavior, at the shabbos table, as part of a dvar Torah, or quote a dvar Torah from a Godol you want to emulate.. There are many sources for such stories. Step three, tell your father you would like to wear a hat because it makes you feel a connection to these Gedolim, and be sure to mention Gedolim he admires and considers as his Rebeeim. If you do this gradually you’ll be preparing the head which deserves to wear a hat.
eventually , your father will hopefully realize that this is for you and won’t stand in your way.
We had a similar situation when my son wanted to wear a certain type of Yarmulka when he started high school. I was always against labeling and divisiveness and on purpose refused to let people tell me what specific headgear was supposed to represent. I always said a man wearing something on his head is supposed to show that he believes and remembers that Hashem is Above him. I’m not interested in knowing anything else. But of course we live in another world , not my fantasy world , so when my son started High School he asked us if he could switch yarmulkas. i asked him Why. He said because i stand out, i’m the only one in this yarmulka not that one. I answered him that it is a valid reason, not wanting to be odd man out and so he switched yarmulkas. the next time he came home from yeshiva, he had been in the house for several hours before someone else came in and commented on the new Yarmulka. I had never even noticed it, because to me he was my son and always will be no matter what yarmulka or hat he wears. ( P.s. it took me years to get used to the beard,(where did my cute little boy go
?) now hE is 34 Bli ayin Hara and I’m finally used to it after 10 years) good luck to you, it may take some time for your father to come aroundJune 5, 2011 8:34 pm at 8:34 pm in reply to: My New Subtitle #993395
gefen, should we give you a subtitle “Invei ha-” i can only suggest .,i have no powerJune 5, 2011 8:24 pm at 8:24 pm in reply to: Jerusalem is not for Sale! #775008
Yom Yerushalayim is not about the idf and not about tsiyonim. every Jew should thank Hashem for the wonderful chessed HaSHEM did of returning the koSel to us and many other Holy places(kever Rachel, Maaras Hamachpela, Kever Shmuel Hanavi , etc.). it is well documented that the entire 6 day war was a series of Nissim Geluyim that even totally secular soldiers felt Yad HaSHem. yes, the Geula hasn’t come yet and we daven for it every day, but Thanks should be given for what Hashem has given us so far.
A few other points:
1) the original Chovevei Tzion were all ChaREIDI RABBANIM and frum yidden who believed it was a mitzvah to live in and work the land of israel AND ONLy LATER DID THE sECULAR ZIONISTS GET INVOLVED WITH ALIYAH.
2)The Arabs never were sovereign is Erets Yisrael. it didn’t belong to them, we didn’t take anything from them. The Land was desolate until the first Jewish settlers-Chovevei Tsion bought land and began to work on it. previously there were yidden living in tsfat , and yerushalayim, Gedolim, Mekubalim, Talmedai Hgra, but no Palestinian /arab government. The ottoman/Turkish empire controlled Erets Yisrael., later Arabs from surrounding countries came to work in the land that jewish people had purchased from absentee landlords. descriptions of Erets yisrael by visitors as late as 1870 described the land as a wilderness. in this Hashem was fulfilling his promise to us that the land will remain desolate and no other people will be able to build it up, it won’t blossom for anyone else except Am yisrael.
It is a mistake to say that the Tsionim were armed to the teeth in 1948. They had a pitifully small amount of weapons and Hashem fought that war for us as He has since then. Logically we shouldn’t have won in 1948 or in 1967 and don’t err as others have and say “bikochi vi’otsem Yadi” because it is Hashem who has fought for us and who protects us till this day. Every day for years rockets fall down on us from gaza and Hashem directs them where they cause the least damage. thousands of rockets have fallen and BeChasdei Hashem you can count the casualties on the fingers of your hand.
Yom yerushalayim should be a day of saying Thank you to Hashem. every Jew who davens and bentches or even says Al Hamichiya is saying REbuild Yerushalyaim speedily in our day. We are witnessing the building as we speak and i’m not speaking about stones and bricks but about Jewish Kehillot and Yeshivot Bli ayin hara. I waLK IN THE STREETS OF THE OLD CITY AND HEAR CHILDREN PLAYING AND SEE OLD PEOPLE WITH CANES AND I WITNESS THE NEVUAH COMING TRUE, wHEN THE nAVI COMFORTS aM YISRAEL AND SAYS , THERE WILL YET COME A TIME WHEN YOU WILL HEAR THE SOUND OF cHILDREN PLAYING IN THE STREETS OF yERUSHALAYIM , AND SEE OLD PEOLE , WALKING WITH CANES IN YERUSHALAYIM AGAIN. HASHEM HAS GIVEN OUR gENeRATION A TREMENDOUS zECHUS TO SEE THIS nEVUA COME TRUE , AND iM yIRTZEH hASHEM THE COMPLETE GEULA WILL SOON FOLLOW. tHANK yOU hASHEM IS WHAT EVERY YID SHOULD SAY, AND YES ON yOM YERUSHLAYIM TOO, BECAUSE THAT IS THE dAY HASHEM CHOSE TO DO THIS GREAT NES AND CHESSED. I DON’T DISCUSS HALLEL WITH A bRACHA OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT. tHAT’S FOR THE gEDOLIM. I JUST SAY tHANK yOU, HASHEM AND tHEN sAY IT AGAIN. ???? ??????? ????? ??????!June 2, 2011 4:31 pm at 4:31 pm in reply to: drinking out of a bottle #774271
my mom told me the story about a mother -in -law -to- be who saw the future daughter-in -law come in from a hot,long walk and drink from a bottle. she called off the shidduch. what astounded my mom is that this happened in 1945 to survivors of Auschwitz. and my mom couldn’t get over the fact that after surviving Hitler’s death camps this woman would care about drinking out of the bottle. i felt bad for the girl who had spent the previous 6 years suffering under the Nazis. but obviously that was the type of upbringing the mother in law wanted. my mom and i both agreed that the girl was better off without such a critical mother-in -law. don’t know if we were right or notJune 2, 2011 4:23 pm at 4:23 pm in reply to: Need Help! Tznius ahhh! #775729
good for you. its always good to grow , especially in tsnius. i know a girl who was zocheh to meet her husband specifically becuz she decided to grow in tznius so one boy who didn’t like the look turned her down, and the next one was her bashert. may you always grow in Torah and Mitzvot. and be sure to give your parents lots of love and respect as you are required to.June 2, 2011 4:17 pm at 4:17 pm in reply to: What is the Halacha? #774045
just for the record here in j’lem i’m home from work. also i only work 3 days a week. so that’s an example of how someone can be posting when its your working hours but not theirsJune 1, 2011 6:34 pm at 6:34 pm in reply to: Silver and crystal pacifier clips #773497
to begin with it is not necessarily the people who can’t afford it who buy these things. but even if they can afford it is it necessary or advisable? i feel the same way about socks decorated with beads and have even gone so far as to tell the storeowners not to stock them as they are a choking hazard. as far as ostentatiousness, there is a Jewish Middah to be modest and that includes not going over the top in decoration, dress etc. in my house my mother always said “Me turnisht arois nemin mentschen di oygin” which means “don’t take people’s eyes out- dont be a show off, or stand out. i love beautiful things but you have to learn to limit yourself and limit the gashmiyus
one year i needed something and went downtown 2 days before pesach. there was a display with very beautiful velvet embroidered pillow cases for the seder. i thought how nice, what a hiddur. except when i looked at the price i almost fainted and didn’t buy them. it took me a day to get over it and regain my prevoius simcha. lesson learned,” Aizeh hu ashir hasomeach be chelko” “who is wealthy, he who is satisfied with his lot”, and i never go near the stores erev chag again so i won’t be ambushed into wanting things i’ve lived perfectly happily without.June 1, 2011 11:08 am at 11:08 am in reply to: Was I Right or Stupid? #773446
kiddush Hashem!! you did very well.May 31, 2011 8:12 pm at 8:12 pm in reply to: Would you become religious/Jewish? #773800
i think this is the wrong question. the question should be “am i thanking Hashem every day for making me a JEW WITH MY WORDS AND DEEDS. ARE MY WORDS AND DEEDS REFLECTING WHAT IT IS TO BE A FRUM JEW. AM I PERSONALLY MEKABLE TORAH NEWLY AS i MOVE AHEAD IN LIFE. NO ONE CAN KNOW WHAT THEY MIGHT HAVE DONE IN AN IMAGINARY SITUATION, BUT WE KNOW THAT WHO WE ARE IS WHO hASHEM WANTED Us TO BE , AND TAKE IT FROM THERE.May 31, 2011 7:50 pm at 7:50 pm in reply to: CR or news? #773057
mother in israel listen to your body. if it tells you to rest thats what you need to do now. hoping you feel better soon. just dont push it. i feel the same way about cr. like it but it eats up too much time. gonna hafta cut backMay 31, 2011 5:24 pm at 5:24 pm in reply to: Were not Chassidish at all, but we go to Rebbes for Brachos #773239
we learnt that it is assur for a woman to shave her head if it is not her minhag and her husband will be turned off by it. as far as shaven heads helping survivors. sadly most of those killed had their heads shaven too in the deaTH AND WORK CAMPS HEADS WERE SHAvEN BY THE NAZIS, TO FIGHT THE LICE EPIDEMIC.
THAT BEING SAID IT IS A DILEMMA BECAUSE YOU RESPECT THE WORD OF THE TZADDIK. I DONT KNOW WHAt you should do. have your husband ask his rov?May 30, 2011 8:54 pm at 8:54 pm in reply to: Please Help Me #772270
sorry to nitpick but when i saw the title Please help me!!!! i though oy,vey , what tzuris does this person have?. i think you could choose a little less frightening title in the future. just asking. ( yes , i am the person who does imagine the worst when people are late or the phone rings too late at night) oh, and good luck with your paper.
a vort i remember.anytime you are having trouble getting a mitzvah done, being frazzled or nervous erev shabbos, or getting impatient with someone you are trying to help. we were told its the Satan getting involved because he hates to see yidden involved in mitzvahs.May 30, 2011 8:42 pm at 8:42 pm in reply to: Mental Illness..Hang The Stigma! #774489
bombmaniac. i feel for you. hope you use your insight to save your own life and build a good life for yourself. if you ever need to reconcile with your mom you can do it then. for now heal and nurture yourself. you are doing a great service for allMay 30, 2011 8:23 pm at 8:23 pm in reply to: CR Vernacular #772865
‘ich farshtay nisht kan ein vort.” hows that for vernacular. btw i thought lol was lots of love. nothing funny about that. old fogey signing off. “say goodnight, gracie”