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I think Sears may have a service. Home Depot also rents out machines that you can transport and use yourself (fits in a sedan).
Some personality disorders can “allow” a person to commit a crime and actually feel NO remorse or empathy. The DSM IV did classify personality disorders as a form of mental illness.August 11, 2011 12:19 am at 12:19 am in reply to: women, can you tell apart different types of sheitels? #796832
I doubt you can identify shaitels from how they look. I’ve generally stayed with the same shaitel macher as I know her quality and trust her to give me what I want (with the exception of one or two shaitels that I bought on sale elsewhere). I wouldn’t even know my own shaitel macher’s shaitels, though. Once they’re on a head, you can’t see how it was measured to fit, how it matched the request of the customer in terms of texture, weight, color, etc.
I’d be careful eating salty food close to the fast. Earlier, when you can drink a lot, ok. Later, you might find you regret it.
Baked ziti, tuna salad, and fruit salad (cantaloupe, watermelon, and grapes)
Thank you so much.
Have a meaningful fast.
Frankly, I’m relieved it’s roots are not based in anti-semitism. It looks pretty horrible, and scary, nonetheless.
Police shooting of whom? Sorry for my ignorance, but I’m not seeing details online.
I once wrote a letter to our previous housekeeper who was doing things that upset me. My husband encouraged me to write the letter and he made it into a big joke and suggested I write things in the extreme (she didn’t know what was clean clothing or dirty, so he said to write that she should smell it!). Well, it was for our eyes only, for me to get my frustration off my chest. Problem was, I forgot to rip it up. Guess who found it!?! She was flabbergasted until I convinced her that I would never speak to her that way, let alone have those expectations of her. She finally forgave me. Bottom line: be careful, and make sure you discard it, or the therapeutic gain will be lost on the new issue you might bring into your life!!
If you were being paid to work, although it would be nice for them to offer you ices or a drink, the only agreement you made with them was an exchange of monetary payment for a service. I would not EXPECT them to offer you a snack. Yes, it’s menschlech. It is strange that they didn’t think of it. I have been in both positions, both as employer, and employee. I regularly offer coffee and a snack to our housekeeper as soon as she walks in (after being on the subway for nearly 1 1/2 hours). My husband feels it’s stepping over the line of appropriateness. I also worked doing housekeeping when I was a student for several years in seminary in eretz yisroel. I worked for a few families, one of which sat me down and offered me hot kugel, fresh out of her oven Thursday night after I helped her (the daughter of a rosh yeshiva) another (equally as frum) barely said hello, another pushed me out of her house before her kids came home. What a different feeling. I tried to learn from the first. What is required though, is simply payment, so that’s all you can, in all fairness expect.
Having a broken engagement can be heartbreaking, but it’s also possibly a good sign. First of all, it’s much more common than you think. Second, you took a chance to get engaged, that’s practice, if nothing else. Take it from someone with a fear of commitment; better to take a chance on someone, than never on anyone. Instead of looking at it from a perspective of pain, trauma, fear of being hurt again, try to refocus on how you can gain from the experience. Allow it to help you improve your ability to notice relevant information beforehand. Be determined to keep on going, and to weed out what you need to ask beforehand, either of the shadchan, or of your prospective mate once on the date. We often fear asking direct questions of others for fear we’ll scare them off, but if the answer can end the match, better to ask it, and get it out of the way. You’re feeling down and doubtful about your future won’t last forever. You just have to ride out this tough time, and keep on going.
As strange as it sounds, I would write to the mayors office about what you were told and advocate for “mini” license plates for bikes. There’s no reason why they shouldn’t have one.
What does that mean how you break the fast?August 8, 2011 1:54 pm at 1:54 pm in reply to: Does anyone here workout, go the gym…? Laundry related question #863212
Hang it the same way you hang your dress shirts. Use a wire hanger and let it air dry for a few hours. If you have a lot of sweaty clothing post-work-out, you can invest in a drying rack (has multiple rods that you hang wet clothing from/purchase in hardware store).
Everyone is meant for happily ever after’s. It just depends if you have the courage to keep fighting for it or not.
Take a short break, if you need (consult a rav first to be sure it’s recommended), to get perspective. Ask yourself and friends or relatives what they think the hold-up is. Are you being matched with people who are not what you’re looking for?? Are you what they are looking for? The clues may be in the answers to those questions. I was scared to commit, and so, found fault with everyone I was set up with. I also spent time trying to live up to an image I wanted to project to others, that I wasn’t ready for (marrying someone who wanted to learn full time). I have friends who are amazing girls, who aim for the stars, but don’t see their own issues. I’ve seen obese men insist on wanting only super skinny girls, older women wanting only younger looking men, women who pay no attention to their appearance wanting men who pay attention to theirs. Women who are modern saying they’ll meet with someone who’s VERY yeshivish. They had no clue why things weren’t working. Be brave and honest with yourself. It’s a sign of maturity. It’s an awful stage, but it too will pass. You do have a match out there for you. By the way, some women who I know who dated for a while and then married are some of the happiest people I met out there. It’s not when you marry, it’s who you marry.
Do not give up, no matter how discouraged you feel. Dating can wreak havoc on a person’s self esteem. Build yourself up. Make sure you feel good about yourself, because then you will be more likely to choose someone who will be good to you and for you. Find friends who are in a similar stage to you, so you don’t feel alone. My closest friends married young. I met my “new” best friend at a shabbos table, and she’s become my closest friend ever since. My other close friends remain that way, but I added her to the pot. In fact, she and I met and married our husbands within two months of each other, after two years of being best friends and bemoaning the heartaches and hardships of dating, together. Lol!
Middle path- how are you? Just thinking about you. Let us know that you’re ok.
Did I cross the line?? I saw my neighbor (an irreligious high school girl) and told her that if she also got the “package” to get rid of it, since it’s from missionaries. She kind of paused when I told her to toss it. Is it going to far to actually tell someone what to do with their mail??
So, if you think it’s assur, why did you buy it??
I don’t know about that hot plate. We have a k’deirah blech (also called the unblech). It acts like a kli rishon with water inside, so you can put solids on it, but not liquids. What you have sounds like it uses the same premise, but I’m not sure how, since there’s no water inside to make it like a pot.
I really appreciate that you wrote this. It helps strengthen my devotion to davening.
Chareidim….. Those who “shake”from yiras shamayim. Technically, I think it fair to say NO ONE constantly falls under this category at every moment. I think it a more accurate question to state: “who wants to be a chareidi ? Those who try to be makpid b’mitzvos all the time/as much as possible would be those striving to be chareidim. Since we cannot know people’s beliefs and actions, there is no way of knowing who truly is one: whether it be the man with the cap, the gray hat, the Kippah srugah (any of you ever seen a merkaz haravnik? Women with tights under sandalim, hair fully covered with tichels, men learning full time…. Very frum and tzniusdik/Even if they don’t call themselves chareidi, I’d say technically they are)… Bottom line… Only HKB’H knows.
Showing her how it hurt wouldn’t change things in the long run. Several men I dated were truly heartbroken when I let the shidduch go. I was very touched, but the issues that bothered me didn’t change so neither could my decision about those shidduchim. I’m sorry for the heartache that you are going through now, but in the long run, whenever the other side says no, it’s a favor to you (you will not look back and say “I let her go”). The only issue that’s worth addressing is whether you feel you were yourself enough (to allow her to make an informed decision). Showing her your sadness is only meaningful if she thought you were callous overall. I doubt her feelings of hesitancy are due to any impression of reluctance on your part (and if so, it’s not too late to set her straight). You sound a bit sad and unfulfilled overall. Women are attracted to men who feel happy and complete in their lives. Try to find a way to make your own life exciting and fulfilling, and you’ll convey that too.
Forgive yourself for not remembering. You wouldn’t believe how many people are plagued by this. When you remember something that you didn’t recall earlier, just apologize and explain lack of sleep, etc… All will understand. I’m in a fog most of the time, and figure I’ll wake up eventually, feeling that I was partially sleepwalking through my kids youth. So be it. If you’re “game”, the one thing you can do that would sharpen your mind is cardio exercise (walk briskly, run, bike, etc). Kids who needed to be more alert for school and exams were found to perform better after some kind of cardio exercise.
Ok, so those white envelopes appeared on our doorsteps (building) today, ironically. I was very nervous, but I collected them from my neighbors. They only left it at the doorsteps of those with mezuzos, frum or not frum. If I had the guts, and didn’t think I’d get in trouble, I’d go through my whole building.
I think they used monocles for a while; a single piece of glass similar to one side of eyeglasses. Before that, I have no idea.
Oomis: my point exactly. So if a slide is technically not a shabbos activity, but all do it, than a sprinkler, which is also not a shabbos activity, should technically not be treated as assur. I guess it’s to teach kids that bathing, squeezing etc is assur on shabbos, so we avoid all water so as not to confuse them (?!)
Always: HELLO! The kids who go in the sprinklers are like 4 years old!
Sadly, we’re no longer living in a generation of the bais hamikdosh where b’nei YISRAEL committed one primary avairah (and even then, on their madreigah, they succumbed to the avairos of the times – avodah zara etc.) We all know there are so many issues going on, and they probably differ from community to community, continent to continent. Lack of tznius is a big problem, and no, it is not limited to just the MO community. I see super long shaitels on bais yaakov educated girls as well, sequined tops, super straight skirts, and the list goes on. Women dress this way for their own self esteem. Women want to be fashionable, and try to do so within the confines of halachah (shaitel, skirts,etc). We must recognize the efforts they do make, even if we feel it’s in the wrong direction. I believe it is a combined sense of responsibility. Women dress to impress/please (if not our husbands, than our friends, peers, the public at large -who wants to be looked at like they’re ugly, just because they’re nor fashionable. If it can be done within the confines of halacha, let them. If our husbands would ooh and ahh about a super short shaitel, you might see more women buying them.August 5, 2011 9:23 am at 9:23 am in reply to: What was the worst tragedy in your life (that youre willing to speak about) and #828563
I once wound up in court after a cop gave me THREE moving violations on one corner. There were multiple lights at a major intersection (like 5 lights). It was very confusing. When four of them turned green, I pulled forward to turn, not realizing there was a separate turning light. He was on my tail in a matter of seconds. I don’t even make illegal u-turns so it infuriated me. I hired a lawyer and got off only one of the three tickets. Most of the “defendants” in that court were got their tickets from him. It bothered me for a while too, and definitely made me look at cops differently.
After I lost a sibling VERY young – my whole life, family, personality, bitachon changed. I used to think Hash-em would somehow always save a good person. Sadly, I know now, that G-d doesn’t always come to the rescue of a person in the way that we would want. I kind of lost that glow for living. Add that to my current tragedy (an abusive spouse) and I’m finished. I just try to keep breathing, shift my focus off my tragedies as much as possible, and keep working on myself to improve my life, because I AM alive. I’ve got to make the best life for myself as I can, since I’ve got to live it. One thing that brings me down is comparing my life to others (they have more kids, a house, a loving husband, a frummer husband, money, and the list goes on. And that doesn’t even include the comparisons to my old self. The one who got set up with over 200 shidduchim, and had sooo many (possibly) amazing choices for a spouse, and I chose THIS one?!?! So be it! What can I do? Beat myself up? I’m good at that, and so is my husband. Now I’ve got to get good at nurturing and forgiving myself.August 4, 2011 11:48 pm at 11:48 pm in reply to: What was the worst tragedy in your life (that youre willing to speak about) and #828551
I’m sorry, but, Zeeskite, if that was your worst tragedy, you have been very blessed. May you always be blessed with things that feel major, when they’re really minor (and may you realize, not through experience, how minor they really are…).
A missionary once approached me on the subway and said “you are the lamb of G-d” (southern accent). My sister told me I should’ve replied “baaaa”!
Seriously, I’ve seen them handing out materials near caesar’s Bay (promenade) to the Russians. It angers me so much, but I don’t know what to do about it.
That scares me.
Health: Ha ha ha ha!August 4, 2011 4:29 pm at 4:29 pm in reply to: Where is it best to advertise a desirable 3 bdrm apt in BP? #794153
You can word the advertisement as such: “suited to….(a small family)”. People don’t want to waste their time with looking at unsuitable places. You may want to list it as being a modest size space, to make clear that it’s unsuitable for larger families.
I think I just found the answer ro my own question under “music in the 9 days” thread (WIY answer).
So why don’t more frum kids do it???
Ok, so here’s the million dollar question. Is there something actually wrong with their going into the sprinklers on shabbos (halachikly)?? It doesn’t SEEM like a Shabbosdicke activity, but is there something ACTUALLY wrong with it???
Rebbi1: love that one!
Minoxidil cream 2%. it’s over the counter so he doesn’t need a prescription. Rub it on the scalp 2x daily. It stimulates hair growth. Black current oil and primrose oil supplements have shown to be effective because they have GLA to make new and robust hairs. Also tell him to use a soft bristle brush (dr oz online advice).
I’ve heard that it’s genetic, so look at his family to see if you see it elsewhere (dad, uncles, etc). If not, there may be some other issue contributing. Women can have hair loss with hormonal imbalances. Check it out medically. Treatment ranges from topical (not sure if it’s effective) to minor surgical (hair plugs). Does it bother him, you, or both? He may be reacting to fear of how you’ll react.
What a wonderful idea… I think I’ll try to do that for my friends. Kol hakavod!
My husband just picked up 613, also an acapella cd. Some of the songs are so upbeat (one is even wedding music) that I feel funny listening to it. My husband thinks it’s the same as listening to regular music, but in my opinion, it still is mutar b/c there’s no instruments (the actual issue). To the letter of the law it’s ok. To the spirit of the law, maybe not so much. Depends on your level/madreigah.
Huh?? I never heard of that one.
When a woman “dresses up”she wants to feel “special”. Her being/feeling special is diminished if there are others who either look like carbon copies of her, or may actually wear an outfit better than her (people might compare the look on the two of them. Imagine an architect building this amazing small scale model of a fabulous building, something he expects will wow others. He then walks into the room and finds an exact duplicate of his project right in front of him! The appreciation of his masterpiece will surely be diminished by the sheer presence of another in the room. Get it???
How about this one (for the ladies): dressing your kids the same ……..cute
Finding yourself dressed the same as another woman at a simcha….. Disaster! (it happened to me. I wore a very different looking dress to a chassunah, and saw another woman wearing the same one (very noticeable). We agreed to try to stay on opposite sides of the room that evening. Can you imagine? How petty!
When a woman is expecting and showing, we say b’shaah tovah, and not congratulations…..
Yes. I recently got mad at the mods for deleting several of my comments, and said bye to everyone, thinking there was no point in coming back. After only a few days I was back. And yes, sometimes I stay up late reading and writing. My ability to talk openly here strengthens my ability to think and speak clearly for myself in my own personal life.
To be honest, I am concerned with a) mar-is ayin and b) not so much actually squeezing the water from the clothing, but their perception that water play is a shabbos activity. I’m wondering what you all think about that.
P.s. Aries-right on the money… The listening is an issue that we are working on right now… Thank you for your words of wisdom and strength. It helps me…
So please, I’m curious about your opinions of sprinkler water play on shabbos.