I think anyone here who isn’t being treated for ADHD, has an immediate loved one being treated for it, or is treating others with it shouldn’t be commenting on this topic.

It sounds as foolish as me discussing surgery as a layman.

“my mouth is broken”

Translation:

Peeling lip

I don’t think people say no generally because you have a close relationship with your kids. People say no because they think you have an unhealthy relationship with your kids or if you haven’t worked out how the other person will play a role in the lives of your kids and in developing a new family unit. The only kind of people who say no to someone close with their kids are the kinds of people who don’t really want to be with someone, lechatchila, who has kids.

“you can’t just marry anyone, it has to be your bashert”.

How can you ever know if you’ve chosen your bashert?

Had Leah imeinu chosen hers, she would have wound up married to eisav!

Maybe it’s better to look for someone she would admire and share similar values with, rather than an elusive idea of a zivug chosen min hashamayim.

I once heard that it’s a good segula for shidduchim to say az yashir with extra kavana.

I think there are also five specific tehillim recommended to be said for forty days. I don’t recall which ones, though. Maybe someone else does.

Squeak

Your post sounds mean.

The choices are limited, but maybe she can use her talents to sing to a population that she feels she can inspire??

Newer Baalos teshuva in sems would love to learn nigunim, zmiros, davening, etc.

Children can be inspired by tapes about things they learn (it could be even math, English, davening, halacha,etc).

Some people learn auditorily. Songs can help people remember things. This could be an opportunity to use her gift to teach, if she’s so inclined.

I made up songs for my family for different tefillos, like Krias shma al hamittah, which helped them remember it and enjoy saying it, and for everyday tasks, including dressing, baths, etc. They love it, and I do too.

Once a budget is agreed upon, I think you should divide the leftover dollars into two places:

Discretionary spending money for each of you (for the occassional wants) and a savings account (for long term emergencies or anticipated expenditures) in a bank that’s not easily accessed, that you both agree upon.

The portion of discretionary funds you each receive should be allowed to be spent without questions or evaluations. She wants a facial and has money? Her choice.

You want tickets to a ball game or a new tie to add to the tons you have already? Your choice.

I asked rabbi goldwasser how to respond to this supervisor who was maltreating me.

I also thought to try to be nicer to her. Rabbi Goldwasser advised against it and suggested I keep my distance as much as possible.

I don’t think chillul H’ is limited to a school bus incident.

Imagine if someone not Jewish comes across this website and reads these horrible insults. It would surely cause hatred. In fact, there was a recent post by someone named Tina, who, my guess, is that she is not Jewish, judging from her post.

Mashachava, can you not imagine the reaction that your words would cause???

Mashachava

You talk about goyim like they’re stupid.

Your post shows ignorance and hatefulness, none of which are an ohr lagoyim.

That “holier than thou” attitude was pretty common in my high school.

There were girls who wouldn’t even acknowledge other girls, as though they were beneath them.

You were “lucky” if you were deemed “worthy” of being spoken to.

I also had a supervisor like that. She didn’t get along with anyone and was eventually demoted to a non-supervisory position. It was really gehenom to work with her.

This behavior is NOT limited to the bus.

I’m aware of extremely nasty behavior on the part of yeshiva boys (and not from one yeshiva).

This is a very pervasive problem.

Just because it escalated only now to the point of a driver feeling the need to call the cops doesn’t mean there aren’t tons of incidences where kids’ behavior has gotten really out of hand. This one just made the news.

All those behaviors you mentioned seem pretty horrible to me. Just screaming out the window is not mentchlech and becoming of a yeshiva child. Making fun of someone who looks or is different (litvish as opposed to chassidish, heavy, thin, etc) reflects, in my opinion, the intolerance that pervades our community at large. If we can tolerate throwing rocks or yelling obscenities at those who are different, how can we actually expect our kids to be different. They don’t see us or hear us??

How do we act towards our spouses?

I’ve heard of pretty awful bullying in schools and camps, chutzpah towards teachers, etc..

How should this be dealt with??? Discipline and our chinuch system are not making a long term impact.

Aurora

Lol 🙂

Sam2

I don’t get how someone can be VERY yeshivish but still watch tv. The two seem mutually exclusive.

Rebdoniel

Did they teach you about the DSM in your psyc class??

There are very specific criteria that allow mental health professionals to diagnose. Your information is incorrect.

You can try easy off spray. Leave it on for a bit and scrub it off. It comes off more easily.

Alternatively, you can soak it in scalding hot water and soap and use Brillo with or without soap to scrub it. Brillo works better than a soft sponge.

Make sure you also let the hot water cover the edges when it soaks or those areas will be harder to clean.

Ben Levi

You’re really defending spitting and throwing bleach?!?!?!?!!!?!?!!?!??!!

I think we have cherem for that.

Besides, his “so called” crimes were to try to expose abusive behavior. Whether you agree with the assessment as abusive is irrelevant. Throwing bleach and spitting is animal-like behavior and shouldn’t be tolerated in any community.

A sheep

Better “starving” than c”v dead.

I doubt any rebbeim would think twice about extra security if the risk seemed real.

Downstate/SUNY

Chanukah jeopardy (trivia), Pin the shamash on the menorah…

You can also check out the website chinuch.org

They have extensive lists of activities and games on various topics including chagim. You just need enough time to go though it.

I think it shows a lack of bitachon. How many women have I heard lament that the men just aren’t committing???

Frankly, it’s time for some introspection.

It just can’t be that the entire male population has the problem.

These statistics also breed hopelessness and may cause some to give up. That is not our way.

Iced

I think you need to attend a Magenu seminar. I think you’d change your perspective pretty quickly after hearing what they have to say.

I actually liked the bathtubs that can accommodate different ages (sling, laying, sitting). Wet babies are incredibly slippery and hard to hold on to. It’s much easier and in my opinion safer to be able to lay your baby down reclining and rinse them. If the seat back seems too hard, you can always put a washcloth or small hand towel in to line the tub underneath them.

You’re going to want to look at the safety record of car seats before buying. There are websites that list these records for popular brands for the last few years.

Don’t go by recommendations of others. Safety records can change year to year. When we checked (a few years ago) Graco had a fantastic safety record for years and years and was very economical. Still, you need to check the last few years.

A pump (I liked medella; they use similar ones in the hospital) is extremely useful.

Using a pump helps the milk flow and is one of the ways you’ll be able to get more rest. This will allow others to take over a shift or two to give you a break.

We used a bassinet in our room for the first few months. They have ones with wheels that can be moved anywhere in the house. This is a real lifesaver when you want your baby nearby. They can sleep in swings too, but it requires picking them up and moving them mid-nap.

Choose your furniture carefully.

We opted for white nursery furniture which, unfortunately, really isn’t suitable for older children (and won’t fetch much second hand if we were to sell it).

Try to get things that are “timeless” and can be used for all ages (newborns through early adulthood).

Graco for car seats.

Baby jogger for strollers.

Check out epinions.com or consumer reports for evaluations of products.

If calling attention to the body with fashion is untzniusdik, then we must rule out other things as well.

Let’s rule out snoods with sequins, tichels with gems that shine, anything pretty for that matter.

Let’s wear black tichels, black clothing….

As a matter of fact, how about we encourage young women in the parsha of shidduchim to do that?? Don’t dress attractively. It may be like wielding a knife if you do. Dress ugly and hope for the best.

“Clown fish live in the ocean…. In an m, n, m, n, m, n, nee”