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I never thought I could be offended by a bunch of strangers on the internet, but this thread has proven me wrong. I read the responses to my post over an hour ago and am still walking around brooding about it, so I figure I better speak my mind.
Firstly, I’ll say that I am not one who nurses in public. On the contrary, I am very, very opposed to it. If my baby needs to eat in the mall, I’ll find myself a public bathroom and nurse there, no ifs, ands, or buts. If we’re in the park and she needs to eat, we all go home so I can nurse privately. Even in my own home, I don’t nurse in front of my older children, even though I’m always completely covered when I nurse. I go into my room and lock the door every time I have to nurse. Maybe the fact that I’m usually so makpid on this is the reason that I took everyone’s comments so hard.
“MIA –
Um, I know its a free country, but that was really beyond reasonable. Could you not have gone to the restroom? I know, its your right to do so, and most likely you wore a coverup, but still, very unexpected from one us. “
Very unexpected? Every single frum woman I have spoken to about this sits in her seat and nurses on the plane. The restroom on a plane is not an option like the restroom in a mall. Firstly, the smell in there is usually terrible due to lack of appropriate ventilation. I know there are women who feel feeding in the bathroom is not fair to the baby, and as I mentioned before, I’m not one of those. But I can’t put either one of us through sitting in there for 20 minutes when it smells like that.
Secondly, there aren’t enough bathrooms on the plane for me to occupy one for a 20-minute feeding. There are always lines for the bathroom and it would be unfair to everyone to do that. And the incessant knocking on the door would be very disturbing.
I am always completely covered when I nurse. There is nothing showing that would make anyone uncomfortable. I do understand that it can make someone uncomfortable just to know that I’m nursing, and that’s why in most situations I make sure to nurse privately. The plane is one of those situations when there really is no other option. And that’s why if you take a survey, you’ll find that even frum women generally stay in their seat to nurse when on a plane.
And Sac, not all babies can take bottles. I’m not opposed to bottle feeding in general, but this is a baby with a chronic medical condition which makes it impossible for her to eat formula.
Ctrl Alt Del, thanks for a much-needed laugh!
I’ve read that it’s actually like 5 daily birth control pills. I also read that it’s the dairy farmers that are publicizing all the negative information about soy so it should all be taken with a grain of salt.
I flew recently with a nursing baby and sat next to a young chassidish man. I was very uncomfortable and I think he was even more. Every time I nursed, it was clear he wanted to disappear. He had another woman on the other side of him so he was clearly in an awkward situation. I would have switched with him except that I really needed the aisle seat because I had a squirmy baby on my lap.
Thanks, mods!
Um, U followed by pareve is the Kosher dairy symbol?
My kosher phone has 27 or 28 rings–I don’t remember. Most of them are songs–MBD, Shwekey, Dovid Gabay, etc.
“There have been many quality control issues with non-us brand formulas in terms of nutrition needs many people in Eretz Yisrael and Europe supplement with vitamin drops due to deficiencies”
I researched this thoroughly and there is no truth to the above statement. Formula in EY are comparable to American brands and vitamin drops have nothing to do with lack of nutrition from formula. Even breastfed babies are given vitamin D drops.
How about a sippy cup instead of a bottle? And at 10 months, he might be able to go to regular milk instead of formula (with your doctor’s okay). Do you have to wean very quickly or do you have time to do it gradually? I always found that cutting out one feeding every week or two worked the best with my kids. The ones right before nap time and bed time are the last ones I cut out, but little by little, those get eliminated too. I don’t start giving bottles until I’ve completely stopped nursing, and then it’s only 1-2 bottles a day. By the time my babies stop nursing, they’re old enough for regular milk so we go straight to that.
Not all Materna is Cholov Yisroel. In EY, there’s regular milk formula, soy formula, and Materna l’Mehadrin. Only the Mehadrin one is Cholov Yisroel. I don’t know what they sell in the US so I’m just mentioning that.
Are you male or female? If you’re female, I can see where it would be a tznius issue, but if you’re male, it sounds great for you. We really benefited from a medical clown when my child was very sick in the hospital. This clown was a frum man too. He somehow sized up each kid in a matter of seconds and knew exactly what was appropriate for each one. My child was not typical and would not have understood most of what he was doing, but somehow he found the way to reach out and get through to each one in his/her unique situation.
My kids have this CD and I think it’s incredibly well done. I do have one little issue with it and I was wondering if I was the only one bothered by it or not. The words “Tell your stupid master” did not sit well with me. I understand the context and who’s saying it about whom, but language that doesn’t pass in our house and it really disturbed me. The “Here comes Haman” song was also just a tad too jazzed up for my taste. Is it just my sensitivity or did anyone else here have issues with it?
We had the same problem as DY. Our neighbors downstairs were constantly complaining about the noise. We had 2 kids then–a baby and a 2-year-old–and we had to make sure they never threw any toys, always took their shoes off in the house, never scraped any chairs, etc. etc. It was not a healthy way to live. At one point, we were out of town for 2 weeks and they came to complain to a different neighbor with whom we were close about how we always make noise. When the neighbor told them we were away, they suddenly lost their tongues. Eventually we moved out to a ground floor apartment where our kid can build with wooden blocks without worrying about them falling down, jump, bounce balls, etc. Some time after we moved out, our former downstairs neighbor (the one who had always complained) met me in the street one day and said that she has to ask for mechila. She claimed that she was suddenly having a lot of tzaros so she made a cheshbon hanefesh to see what she might have done to deserve this, and she came up with the realization that they had been very unreasonable with us. She said that her husband had been working nights and sleeping during the day and that that’s why she was constantly asking us to be quiet. Now that things were going bad for her, she wanted to make sure that we were mochel. It wasn’t easy but I told her that we were.
There is no “normal weight”. It depends on your height and build. I’m 5′ 6″ and weighed 115 lbs. before the babies came along. Now I weigh quite a bit more like that but a lot of it is fetus/water/placenta. 😉
Mod–I’m not the creative type so anything you choose for me is good.
Me!
I work night and often don’t get around to eating supper until 11 pm. I’m usually starving by then so I eat more than I would eat otherwise.
“stickynote- How about koogel and kugel?”
Don’t you mean kugel or kigel?
Take a nap.
Shticky Guy, I agree with you that if someone posts that they got psak from Rav Elyashiv, it doesn’t blow their identity. OTOH, if I would post that I got a psak from a certain posek who taught in my seminary, and I would write his name, that would give some identifying information about me. Or if the posek was a local Rav from my small hick town, people might know where I was from. I don’t think anyone hesitates to quote gedolei hador because of fear of losing their anonymity.
I’ve seen many women go into the pool in a t-shirt, skirt, and snood. Most of them came to watch their kids though, not to actually swim. I personally wear a long t-shirt that covers my knees. I also keep my hair covered either with a bathing cap or a snood. I’m just more comfortable that way. And I’m not overweight.
I’ve had kids who were afraid of the noise and kids who would davka come close for a better listen. The ones that were afraid eventually outgrew it and do not have sensory issues. I don’t think it’s anything out of the ordinary.
I used to be that way. I would eat anything I wanted to and still remained extremely thin. A few pregnancies and births down the line, I can tell you that that has changed. I am still thin, but I can no longer eat anything I want. Chances are the same thing will happen to those people you hate. 🙂
I once heard Rabbi Hanoch Teller speak, and he said that a wise person once told him, “The happiest people I know are people I don’t know well.” There’s a lot of truth to that statement. Everyone has their challenges in life–you just might not know it about people you aren’t close with. OTOH, the way people handle their challenges is what will determine how happy they are.
I also read this as changing your spouse for someone else, like changing your socks. I’m glad to see I was wrong.
My good friend is a midwife and she says you can tell which moms know the gender and which don’t. According to her, the ones that don’t know are much more willing to work hard to get the baby out as quickly as possible. I think there is something to the surprise issue. We never ask about our babies. I’ve had boys born on Thursday and Friday and somehow we got a shalom zachor together on time.
And ditto twisted–changing the guf chimum makes a world of a difference. The recommendation is to change it once a year. When ours is new, 15 minutes is usually enough for a hot shower. Our is currently overdue for a change, and when it’s cold and rainy, it can take an entire hour to heat enough water for one shower.
We had one many years ago that did not last very long or work very well. It’s very possible that they make them better now or that we just did not have the best kind.
Health, alarms do not work for everyone. There are people who just have to wait until it’s outgrown on their own. My friend’s son is 14 and still wets his bed. She took him to top doctors in Israel and nothing helped. In his case, it’s hereditary–both his parents have siblings who were bedwetters until their teenage years. All the doctors she went to told her to just wait until it stops on its own, whenever that may be. Until then, he uses Good Nites and does not sleep away from home.
You mean one that will tell you if you wrote “requset” instead of “request”?
Feberization has worked well here too. I also suggest putting the baby in a room alone until he’s sleeping through the night. It might take a few nights but it doesn’t usually take longer than that You can do it without a bottle–my babies didn’t drink bottles at that age. I was just careful to make sure they were well fed before putting them to bed.
Health, I’m sorry to hear about your daughter. I hadn’t realized that you had children prior to your divorce. I hope you can understand that I’d prefer not to give details about my loss because it was very unique situation and anyone who knows me would be able to identify me. It’s not just a one-sentence answer.
QuestionForYou, I was not implying that this halacha makes it okay to bring babies to shul. I’m adamantly against that and always go to a different reading than my husband so the kids can stay home. We let our kids come once they’re around 7 and only after a little lecture on how important it is to be quiet.
Health, we paid a small fortune which I’m embarrassed to give more detail on. We went to her because she came highly recommended by friends of ours who claimed that she cured their mono with one session. We had no idea what it was and we were dealing with a life and death situation with our child. Guess what? Despite her treatment, our child is no longer alive. Maybe if we would have gone for that second session…. (Don’t worry, I’m not serious.)
LOL! Thanks for the laugh, mbachur.
I never heard Yonatan Shainfeld and don’t know any of his songs, so I can’t help you here.
I have to second what pumper said. In my community, I have no yetzer hora to wear short skirts because it’s completely unacceptable here. I would be the odd one out and definitely feel out of place. When you’re in an environment where “everyone does it”, it’s that much harder. It’s not so simple to pick up and leave your neighborhood, job, etc., so it takes a tremendous amount of resolve to make a change like that. I give you credit for taking the first step, having the ratzon to change, and I wish you much hatzlacha in succeeding in this. You do have the koach to do it–and it will get easier with time if you keep at it.
Popa–Most women can’t wear the same clothing at 16 and at 26. Firstly, things goes out of style (and there’s nothing wrong with dressing in style, as long as it’s not a tznius problem). Second, as other posters wrote, women’s bodies change. Tops are suddenly too fitted when they were never a problem before, skirts become too tight, etc. A few kids down the line, very few women can still fit into their sheva brachos clothing.