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The point of being aloud to kill an unintentional killer is just a means to force him into galos (ir miklat) as a kaparah for killing b’shogeig”
Also to force him to live amongst the Leviim, who were the models of correct behavior and attention to detail, which had he possessed those qualities, he would never have been so negligent as to cause someone’s preventable death.
I actually sat on an extremely uncomfortable chair. Does that count?
And I respect Oomis for his well-stated opinion. “
Uh.. thank you, Jewish Unity… that would be HER well-stated opinion, though. I am a lady.
I agree with ALL of the above. I also respect all Jews who are themselves respectful, tolerant, and show Ahavas Yisroel.
bagels and tuna – what else? And a nice COLD bottle of water.
We are ALL sitting at the computer…(pointing out the obvious).
I HATE “the rules.”
Then I thought I better patent it quick before I post it. Then I thought I should google to see if it exists.
It does. NASA made one.”
That makes so much sense, because NASA sends SO many babies into outer space…
I agree with Popa. I think those who are objecting so strenuously are overreacting. Romantic songs are typically NOT about lust. Lustful music is generally not romantic. Romance is about emotions, and lust is about…well you know. And anyone here who cannot tell the difference between the two, has probably grown up in a vacuum.
When I hear the theme song from Titanic, for example, it makes me cry. There are many such songs that tap into our feelings, without being vulgar. Everything that is not Jewish is not necessarily treif.
Aries, let me echo the sentiments of other posters and say – nice post!
Dear Abby (I think) once recommended that, to write a letter expressing ALL of your hurt, anger, frustration, even cursing the person out. THEN – tear the letter up and write a civilized letter that makes the same points, but more respectfully, and reasonably and send THAT one.
Unquestionably, the VERY unexpected and untimely loss of my father O”H (right after my birthday), followed only five months later by my mother O”H, as well. No other pain has cut as deeply, though a miscarriage in my 9th week came close. I am grateful to Hashem for sparing us from too much personal sadness, bli ayin hara. I have however, experienced sharing pain with others who have had truly monumental losses, and as a Klal, our greatest tragedy is being commemorated this week.
“Is it going to far to actually tell someone what to do with their mail?? “
In my opinion – yes. It is for her parents to tell her what to do, but you could have spoken to the parents and her together, to explain what this was. You were well-intentioned, though, and I applaud your heart for being in the right place.
getting cortisone shots in my knees…. (sniff)
They are at home wearing something comfortable and probably not that attractive looking.”
Who says we can’t be comfortable AND attractive?????
Is it assur to walk to shul in the rain on Shabbos? You get wet. So you don’t squeeze out the water. Sprinklers are a vochedig activity, and though it might not be halachically an ISSUR to get wet, it still encourages the kids to do things that should not be done in the spirit of Shabbos.
I thinks it would be better to find another park, or not take the kids to the part where the sprinklers are situated. One could say that sliding down a slide is also a non-Shabbosdig activity, but I don’t see any parents not letting their kids do that.
Taking secular tunes and infusing them with Jewish words and content, elevates those tunes from their mundane origins. Gershon Veroba did a great job with that. The tunes are not so much the issue, it is the lyrics that might be offensive to some.
Mazel tov. kein yirbu.
You don’t have to worry. It’s not sheimos. It’s tarfus.
“From your kid, I’ll accept this at face value. Why? Because while he might have been able to fool the shadchan, I don’t think he’d be able to fool you”
You got THAT right. Nor would he want to.
“what happens when you mix Mentos and Sprite.”
Wasn’t that supposed tp be Pop Rocks and Coke?
An argument can be made that Lo silbash would possibly not really apply, since the pants made for women are made for WOMEN specifically. If we posit that women may not wear any clothing made for men, then that would mean that even though the following clothing is made for women, they should not wear hats, tailored shirts, sox, etc. which are primarily clothing items also worn by men. Since we know that this is not so, and women wear WOMEN’S shirts, women’s sox and shoes, women’s hats. etc. it would seem to make sense that they could likewise wear pants made strictly and obviously for ladies.
So clearly there has to be another even more compelling reason, and I would think that the fact that pants outline a woman’s body more definitively than a skirt does, thus calling more attention to her figure and parts of her that are normally less defined (v’hamyvin yavin), is more likely a reason (among others)for the issur. What I do not understand is why culottes (the best of both worlds, a wide-legged pants skirt, which looks like a skirt, and is not easily seen as having divided legs. This type of clothing is MUCH more tzniusdig than a regular skirt, as it does not fly up on a windy day, or ride up when a woman gets in and out of a car. So there has to be more to the inyan than I know about.
Actually, if you saw the play “Wicked…”
Wolf, I did, and I forgot. I LOVED that show. Haunting music and lyrics. And a great prequel to the Wizard of Oz.
my friend buried her second daughter in 2.5 years. Both were young and left young children”
Ms Critique – B”DE. I am so sad for your friend and her family. Incomprehensible for her to have to feel such pain.
I have never heard of anyone who keeps this, whether alive or dead.”
Well if they are dead, I certainly would not WANT to see them leave their “house.”
I don’t think it’s fair to take SMALL kids (too young to umderstand)to a sprinkler park where other kids ARE allowed to play in the sprinkler, and then tell them they can’t. And before you say, we do that all the time with kashrus with muktzeh, etc, it is NOT the same. They have kosher food to eat, and Shabbosdig activities they can do. Don’t bring them there on Shabbos, it’s like taking a diabetic child to a candy store.
When I had an emergency, Hatzalah was at my house in less than two minutes. When my elderly father-in-law O”H fell in his apartment and was able to manage to get the phone and call 911, they didn’t get there for 20. Had this been a life or death situation (and when the caller is 94 that IS l & d, even if he is conscious), it could have been too late. P.S. when we had to call for emergency services for my FIL another time, he was at my hosue, so Hatzalah was called and they were there literally in one minute.
This topic reminded me of a sweet girl my son liked very much as a person and therefore he asked her out. She was (and is) a very wonderful girl, so he went out with her and hoped the attraction would build. After several dates, he realized that as much as he truly WANTED to feel it, there was no real chemistry on his part. She recently got married to a terrific guy who is just right for her and she for him.
Chemistry is exactly what it sounds like. It is a chemical, hormonla physical reaction that occurs when one is attracted to someone. If a guy is not feeling ANY chemistry after two dates (and I mean ANY), then it probably is not going to happen, because guys react hormonally more quickly than girls do, as a rule. Hashem designed us that way. That said, when a guy tells a shadchan there is no chemistry, it is often his polite way of saying he doesn’t feel she is attractive to him.
Girls may use the chemistry excuse, too, but a girl gets attracted to a guy for many different reasons, and looks are only one part of the equasion. I think a girl will go out for additional dates when she sees a potential for attraction. I think guys would say buh-bye after no more than two such dates.
OK, clearly we have nothing better to discuss during the Nine Days. Dorothy had nothing to do with the death of the WWOTE and at the VERY most, she was no more than a shogeges in the death of the WWOTW (but there were no more siblings to be goeil hadam, so she didn’t have to run anywhere after that). The CYCLONE which lifted up her house (act of G-d), caused the death of the first witch, nothing she could have done to prevent it. The second witch melted because she herself set fire to the Scarecrow, and Dorothy was trying to save him by throwing water at the fire, and accidentally hit the witch as well, who melted by the water. Clear now?
Of course we should be shocked about chillul Shabbos, but that is still an aveira strictly bein adam laMakom, whereas murder is inclusively both bein adam laMakom AND bein adam l’chaveiro at the same time. It’s a double whammy. And it shocks the sensibilities to think that a person could actually take the life of another person on purpose. Comparing that action to someone turning on a light on Shabbos, will not affect most people the same way (even if theoretically it should).
Both a mechallel Shabbos and a murderer can do teshuva.”
But a murderer who does teshuvah still only gets a kapara with his death. The mechallel Shabbos who does teshuvah does not need to die in order to be forgiven.
Rudy Giuliani, if he ran, and Michelle Bachman if she does run. I am not worried about her migraines. The present administration is giving ME migraines.
They target Russian Jews quite often, also. When people come around to my house (usually the Adventists or Witnesses), I tell them they are wasting their time on my block and in this neighborhood, especially where they see the small slanted boxes on the door posts, and very graciously bid them a good day. One persistent woman yelled to me, ” But I just want you to know the Truth!” To which I replied, “My people received the Truth long before yours came into existence, and we are quite happy with the original, thank you.”
And then some…
I am generally right on the mark about people whom I am meeting for the first time. Only once was I really fooled by someone. And I was being dan l’chaf zchus on this person, who did not deserve my benefit of the doubt.
Why Vera Wang – are there no other beautiful wedding gowns? I would go to a relatively inexpensive bridal place like David’s bridal, buy TWO of the same gown and use the material from the second one to fix the one I would be wearing.
BH I was able to have both: I am a working mom and a stay at home “
I would like to remind everyone that every mom is a working mom, whether she earns pay for it or not. Ummm, I applaud you for finding a way to be there for your kids AND bring in some parnassah.
I do not disagree at all with the well-expressed emotion that is so evident in the OP’s post. OTB makes some very strong points. BUT… Chillul Shabbos, which most certainly is a rejection of Hashem as Creator, is STILL not a yehareig v’al yaavor aveira. Murder is. I think it is a little bit of hyperbole to say texting on Shabbos could be “worse than murder.” A person who is mechallel Shabbos can do teshuvah and turn his life around. All the teshuvah in the world however, will not bring back a murder victim. It is comparing apples and oranges.
are you suggesting that only you are right? “
Oh, please….We both know that is not true. And that is precisely my point. You made that judgment.
Minyan Gal got it right.
Mods, I hope you let this post through, though the topic where what I am quoting appeared, has been closed. I just wanted to answer non-confrontationally, the question that Daas Yochid posed.
(Daas Yochid): But why do certain people consistently follow the lenient approach, if not because it’s easier? Is the more stringent opinion in halachic matters not also “His will”?
But Daas Yochid, that is exactly the point. The lenient position IS the Halacha and there is absolutely nothing wrong in consistently following it, as long as it completely conforms to what Hashem asks of us, because that lenient position is exactly what He told us to do (in most cases, and not where a heter is given for some unusual circumstance). Hashem didn’t seek to make life hard for us. His Will is for us to “chai bahem.” Some people choose to follow more difficulty and stringency in their observance, and that is fine for them, and yeyasher kocham. But the danger lies in their assumption that others who do not follow their derech are LESS frum than they, and that is patently unfair both to assume that and worse, to voice it. Even as I type this I can envision certain individuals saying, “But we ARE more frum.”
The problem is when someone doing the judging smugly believes ONLY he is right. In fact, he may be very wrong. And that cuts across the board, chareidi and non-chareidi alike.
coffee addict has it right. And while we often don’t truly think about our own neshamas, when we think of someone we love who has died, or chalilah v’chas a child who has died horrifically, it spurs us on to become more self-reflective to improve ourselves in their zechus.
(She apologized and said she forgot. A friend told me that some girls purposely don’t put on seat belts to see if the guy is caring enough to look out for them.) “
Those are foolish games played by foolish people. Adults who are mature enough and ready to get married do not play these games. Girls who are really tzniusdig, should not expect their dates to be watching them place a seatbelt against their bodies.
Spreading Torah ideals to Goyim? They are obligated in the Sheva Mitzvos, not the rest.
They might not have to give maaser or worry about shaatnez, but last time I looked, sheva mitzvos bnei noach ARE Torah ideals. We are mechuyav in all of those, plus another 606. it is incumbent upon us to set the example of G-dliness for the rest of the world. Maybe it will only happen b’yemos haMoshiach, but maybe by doing it now, we can bring that day closer.
It seems that the Modern Orthodox will attempt to use all Kulos when dealing with Halacha. They hold the minimum z’man for Motzoei Shabbos, the smallest size kippah, kulos regarding food as was mentioned above (chalav stam, pas palter, etc.) and women with heterim in dress that sometimes don’t really exist. In short, they take the “easy way out.”
FrumGuy, what YOU are forgetting is that these so-called “kulos” are HALACHA. They are within the framework of acceptable halachic standards, otherwise, they would be called AVEIROS.
The minimum z’man for Shabbos IS what Hashem commanded. The fact that I choose to hold a later time, is my business. If a woman is wearing something that is too short, it is not a heter. She’s doing something that is not proper. But there still is a minimum standard that IS halachically acceptable, so if her skirt covers her knees, even when she is sitting down or getting in and out of a car, it is her business and she is a frum woman. If you want your female family members to wear it even longer, kol hakavod.
If the issur on milk derives from drinking milk from an unkosher animal, but the country in which you reside ONLY sells kosher animal’s milk as i.e.,USDA certified AND rabbonim who paskened for us here said it is permissible for that reason, then there is nothing for you to say to the FRUM YID who drinks it. Don’t drink cholov stam yourself, but it is wrong to think that people who do not hold by that are doing the wrong thing. And it is even worse to call those things that they do, “looking for the easy way out.” Who says being a frum Yid has to be “the hard way in?” Hashem gave us great halachos to follow. If we are following them, then we are doing His Will.
I would probably leave a very small tip for the hakoras hatov aspect that was mentioned, but the small amount would be indicative of my displeasure. I would ONLY do this if it was in fact clear that it WAS the food server’s fault, i.e. they had “attitude” or the like. Sometimes things get really hectic in a restaurant, or they are unexpectedly short-staffed, or there is a kitchen emergency of some kind. That is not the server’s fault.
Since we live in a society where the tipping is NOT tip-ically (pun intended) built into the price (and personally I detest that practice and try to avoid such places that do it), and the wait staff is seriously underpaid (yeah, yeah, I know that’s not OUR fault), the tips are very much wanted, needed, and appreciated by the staff. I would not stiff someone, knowing how much they rely on the tips for a part of their parnassah. If the practice offends one, then he should only patronize the places that have built in tips when they see the bill. Usually those places add 18%, as opposed to the 15% that I add to my payment (20% if the service was truly outstanding), and we always try to go up to the next dollar, and even one more.
RKT, what you describe sounds liek really shoddy service. I would send a note to the owner/manager, a few days later and vent. I would not want my specific waiter/waitress to lose a job because of me, but it might make them have a talk with ALL their staff about improving customer service.
As soon as you put labels on people, you are pre-judging them. There are Orthodox Jews, some who are more chareidi in their OBSERVANCE, and some who have more secular aspects integrated within that halachic observance. Both are frum. We are ALL modern Jews, because we live in modern times. “Modern Orthodox” is often used almost as a pejorative expression by some people. There really is only a more observant or less observant Jew.
A lot older today than I was yesterday, that’s for sure.
You know how (if you were the oldest child in your family) your mother and father always yelled at you for not setting a better example for your younger siblings? It’s kind of like that. We are supposed to be a beacon of Emes, of morality, of chessed, of
G-dliness to the rest of the world. That’s why when a Jew does something terrible, it ALWAYS makes the front page. Much as they hate us, even the goyim hold us to a higher standard.
Nobody that I have ever known has done such things for the sake of their religion”
As kind as your words are, Minyan Gal, believe me, there is nothing special about me (I cannot speak for anyone else, because there really are some VERY special people here, yourself included). We do what we have to do, because we are highly motivated to do what we know is the ONLY thing for our children. I B”H have five, and though it was not always easy, we are still here. Maybe not so well-off financially (and BOY, would I EVER love to know what that would feel like, in good health!), but there are all kinds of wealth, many of them not even slightly monetary.
I know that doesn’t really help a person in practical terms, when they are financially suffering, but we are not alone, and if we can give each other chizuk, we are far from poor.