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Yehudah Tzvi, I think you might be onto something…I do not believe in coincidence only co-incidents.

When the tremor hit, I actually thought for a moment that I was chalilah possibly having a stroke, as everything started to move from side to side. I felt dizzy for about ten seconds, and then it eased up. I don’t ever recall such a thing happening before.

personaly think that the girl can get a job “

Funny, I feel the same way about the boy. AND he can learn, too.

It would depend on why you stopped seeing each other, IMO. If those factors are still in play, I would be less confident about recommending a do over. If it was just a matter of bad timing, then go for it.

Sorry, but not only was i born in a leap year and actually am a drop younger.”

Oops, hope I didn’t insult you. You are definitely in my own peer group, though.

You are around 60-65(forgive me – I actually am thinking possibly a little older). Zvi Schooler gives me that thought.

Everyone gets a little nervous before taking such a big step. Take a deep breath, Mikehall has a great idea for you to spend more time with the future family to egt to know them better, and it also IS a good idea to go for a little premarital counseling, if only to give you a chance to give voice to what you are feeling, to someone who can help you understand those feelings. They are normal. MAZEL TOV.

Chill. It was a mock wedding.

What is this world coming to???? Man, it is long since this world you just described is already here. Have the goyim EVER loved us. Do they not always find a way to accuse us (usually of killing NON-Jewish children, but that’s an o;d story).

I have seen such things, and in one case, the kallah was pushed into the marriage by her mother, and was very unhappy. There is a possibility that the kallah you described was just very solemn or emotional, or maybe she had a close loved one who passed away and was therefore not physically present at the wedding. I know from experience what that feels like.

IMO Kibud Av DOES apply to in-laws, especially because your spouse has that obligation,and you and he are as one unit.

No one says you have to like them, but please show them respect.

Aries is right about so much in her post. Re-read it. Someday,

G-d willng, you will be a MIL yourself and I GUARANTEE your perspective will change greatly. Nothing is more important to a grandmother than her grandchildren, and perhaps your MIL is a little hyper about some things,

BUT –

when you go out, you SHOULD be easily reachable by phone for ANY babysitter. She was not wrong. Unless she was calling every five minutes, she was reasonable in being concerned that she tried for a long time with no success, when your child was coughing badly.

If she was angry about you not giving medicine, first actually consider the notion that maybe she has a point, and if not, just say that your doctor did not want you to give him medicine unless absolutely necessary, and when you left he was not coughing, nor had he been before that. HOWEVER, you should have left medicine for her on the chance he would have a coughing attack, with instructions on dosage and a medicine spoon. That is being careful and conscientious with ANY babysitter.

If she is regularly babysitting for you and saving you a fortune in sitter costs, BE GRATEFUL or stop asking her to babysit. Simple as that. I can understand and even sympathize with your negative feelings about this situation, but in the end, you are benefiting from her chessed, and that is what I believe you should focus on, more than the negatives.

Other than that, let your husband handle his mother, and don’t let this become an issue of Shalom Bayis for you. If she was coming over to make breakfast for him every morning during Sheva Brachos week, that should have tipped you off to a future problem, and you should have made your stand then. My father-in-law O”H, whom I loved with all my heart, once commented in a little bit of a nosey way about something, and I told him (respectfully) that that was between my husband and me to decide, though I appreciated his concern. He understood, and refrained from further comment on the subject. We had a loving and wonderful relationship until his death at age 94.

Your MIL is not the enemy. She may be too outspoken for your taste (and for mine, too, btw), but she raised your husband, the man you chose to marry, so presumably she did SOMETHING right. Try to accept her with all her perceived flaws (and we ALL have those), and try not to let inconsequential issues, and they are inconsequential in the great scheme of things, prevent you from having a pleasant relationship, especially when she is doing you a favor.

Yom huledet sameach,The Goq. Ad meah v’esrim shana in good health.

It has nothing to do with tznius, and everything to do with looking unattractive. People should take a video of their loved ones chewing gum, and show it back to them. They may not realize how they look.

But as someone pointed out correctly, they might be on a diet, or have a dry mouth, or any other reason for chewing gum. It is not our business,and we have enough issurim that we want our kids to follow without imposing additional restrictions on them.

BTW, would you feel the same way about rebbeim who chewed tobacco?

I chaap what you are implying. I have seen (among friends) that there are indeed fundamental differences, because there are cultural differences. BUT, generalizing can be a dangerous thing. Suffice it to say, that frequently, we will see a paternal predisposition to interacting with one’s children more in one cultural group than the other. Nonetheless, there are exceptions to every rule. There are some terrific hands-on dads in the group thought to not be so involved, and plenty of dads in the other group who ignore their kids.

If you are bothered (and clearly you are), TALK to your husband about your concerns in a non-judgmental way, i.e. “Reuvein LOVES when you play ball with him! He had such a good time with you today. I know he would love to spend even more time with his dad.” Focus on the good interactions. Anyway, that’s my two cents.

” I really would like to think you people are intelligent but you don’t make it easy. “

bar shattya, I would really like to think you have derech eretz, but you don’t make it easy.

MiddlePath, how old are you? You have an uncommonly mature and sensitive outlook for a young guy. The girl who gets you will be very lucky.

Guys who spent their entire unmarried lives NOT complimenting people of the female persuasion, do not magically change just because they said harei aht. No one says they should be indiscriminately flattering women, but they have to start learning to do so sincerely when they are little children, or they will not easily be able to do so sincerely as adults.

My husband after 34 years bli ayin hara and kein yirbu, still tells me EVERY DAY how pretty he thinks I am. He needs new glasses IMO, but it is still wonderful to hear, especially after all this time. And yes, I compliment him, too (not necessarily about his looks, though that is a part of it).

I think this topic is getting blown out of proportion.

Hatzlacha means success, good luck means good luck.

Hatzlacha rabbah – for what – did I miss something?

Hearts of palm sliced about 1/4″ thick, with halved cherry tomatoes. red onion, some mayonnaise and a little sugar.

When did this become the coffins room? “

AAAAUGGGGHHHHHH! That was a grave misuse of a pun.

The dreaded “mem” word – menschlechkeit???

There is nothing wrong in complimenting a female OR male, as long as the compliment is said sincerely, and not too effusively. In the case of the girl, she probably took a lot of trouble to look good for her date. It’s good positive reinforcement to let her know her efforts were not in vain. I disagree with Obaminator.

As to the rain issue, get a great umbrella and terrific rain coat with a hood, and have fun. Rain can be very enjoyable, as long as it is not a hurricane. I don’t recommend an outdoor picnic, though.

Mazel tov to all the new chassanim and kallahs.

Home. I haven’t been away for a vacation in over 30 years.

They will only get the meltdown value of the weight of the gold or silver. No one seems to care about the stones in the jewelry, or quality of workmanship. I have two gold rings and a gorgeous cameo, both belonged to my mother O”H. 30 – 40 years ago, they cost a nice amount, but today, I am told no one cares about the large smoky topaz, or the black onyx with a centered opal. Only the gold part is of value, the rest would be tossed. Those rigns and cameo were appraised by a reputable jeweler for a nice sum, but even he said he could only offer it on consignment for a week. The gold store to whom I showed the pieces, offered me a FRACTION of their original worth, and that was just for the gold part.

Amein v’amein – what a thoughtful thing to do. Happy birthday.