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B”DhE. This is beyond frightening. To have such horrific things happening especially at this time of year is very sobering. Hashem Yeracheim.
Most of my early married life, when I did not drive, people gave me rides everywhere. I made a neder (with my husband’s approval) that if and when I would learn to drive (and that was NOT easy for me, it was a great nisayon to overcome my fear), that I would always make myself available to help someone who needed a ride, were it in my power to do so. I have been zochah to fulfill that neder many times since then.
I was always taught a tefach of hair may show. Personally, I prefer to cover 99.99% of it. Just more comfortable for me to know it’s covered.
Adams, I truly feel for you. I have been there, done that. B”H I no longer have to pay Yeshivah tuitions, but many years were extremely hard and humbling for us, as we begged and borrowed to help make ends meet. My husband worked three (and sometimes four) teaching jobs and I two part-time jobs (so that I could be home for my children whenever needed). I had to “cry” to the tuition committees, and some were harsher and less compassionate than others. It was NEVER a pelsant experience. But there are no guarantees that life will only give us pleasant experiences, unfortunately.
Now I am in the weddings parsha, and still have three single children at home. My husband just lost his job, and his retirement pension is not enough to keep us going. If I still had small children in Yeshivah, I would do the same thing all over again, and humble myself if needed, so that my children would stay in Yeshivah. Perhaps your wife can work out a work arrnagement with the school in exchange for your tuitions.
Whatever you do, please do not give up hope. Hashem pulls us out when we least expect it, but we have to sometimes do things that run contrary to our own egos in order to recognize the Source of that help.
I wish you every hatzlacha. Frumkeit is NOT the problem, but it surely can be the solution, if you allow it to be.
Mazel tov, C. Much happines in your future bayis ne’eman.
Ayin Hara actually literally means, the eye of an evil one. Other-wise, in order for the expression to mean evil eye, it would lingusitically have to be ayin hara-ah, as ayin is loshon nekaiva. Just saying. An eye is not evil, but the evil person who has bad intentions towards someone, just might have enough zechyos (hard as that might be to believe), to have his tefilos for evil answered by Hashem. And if the person towards whom he directs his evil thoughts is possibly lacking in some area, it just might be enough to tip the scales against him.
This is one reason why tefila b’tzibur is better than yichidus. Collectively ALL our merits might tip the scales in someone’s favor for his bakashos, even if he alone does not deserve it.
I am appalled to hear that someone would ask for $2,500 from an almana three decades ago! Are we not enjoined by the Torah to protect widows and orphans?
I personally know of some boys who were completely turned around in E”Y. One of them was mamesh off the derech, chutzpahdig, using drugs, a nightmare for his parents. They sent him away on the advice of their rov, just to maintain their sanity and keep sholom bayis for their other children, who were affected by his behavior. He went to a yeshivah known for taking in troubled boys.
The first year made little apparent difference in him, except for his wanting to go back for another year. During the first half of that second year, something radically changed in him, and he requested to go to another more mainstream type Yeshivah, a request that had far-reaching effects on him. That boy went on to eventually get smicha and is now a rebbie himself and working in kiruv with boys much like his previous self.
My first child was born on my mother-in-law’s birthday, my second (a girl)was born on my mother’s birthday. My third (another girl)was born on my MIL and son’s birthday, and my fourth (also a girl)was born less than an hour too late to make my mother and daughter’s birthday. My fifth child, a boy was not born on anyone else’s birthday in the family, but his bar-mitzvah parsha was the same one as his big brother. Should I notify the NY Post now or later?
politics are always good for a laugh.
I don’t think this is a good idea. Sorry. And I agree with Cherrybim’s thinking, also.
There are many ways to commemorate Leiby O”H. Tzedaka funds, taking on personal mitzvos in which we may be a little lax, learning, etc.
BPT, may you always appreciate your wife.
NO ONE should rush or be rushed into an engagement or marriage. If he is on a chapter ahead of yours, you have to make it clear that while you like him and want to get to know him, you are not on the same page yet. If he really likes YOU and not just the thought of being a chosson, he will be more patient,(but not if it takes you a full year to decide).
oomis1105-
I wished a colleague of mine a happy birthday when he turned 60. He wanted to know what is so happy about it, “it’s so old and everyone reaches it some time or another”.”Actually not”, I corrected, “only the lucky people reach it”. He smiled and thanked me. “
Good job, Dr. Pepper. I am more afraid of becoming incapacitated by old age (starting already with severe osteoarthritis of both knees). And since I am not old by “old” standards, or so I’m told, and hopefully am truly reaching MIDDLE age in a couple of months, I pray that the frailties of true old age, don’t hit me as hard as they have some other people. May we all grow old gracefully, and in good health.
What a good question. I have one also, but we just naturally unplugged it for Shabbos. But maybe it’s ok to keep it on like any electrical appliance that is permissible but not touched.It could be uvdah d’chol. Ask a shailah, obviously.
You asked a shailah and have to abide by the p’sak. Tell them in advance what you plan to do, so there is no misunderstanding. In the business world people have to do this type of thing all the time. There will possibly come a time when missing attending that meeting and just “stopping by” may cost you a job for not being perceived as a team player. Perhaps you can suggest a nice KOSHER place for the next meeting. My husband did that for the school end-of-the-year staff party, and they liked the kosher place very much and did it again the following year.
Not when I consider the alternative!
In regards to the “parents at fault” issue. Sometimes that is true. But often you can have a family with five kids, and four of them are terrific, ehrliche frum kids, but sadly one goes off the derech. So who brought up that fifth kid? You can’t blame parents all the time. The reverse is also true, parents can be the worst, yet one or more of their kids turn out to be exceptional, in spite of their terrible upbringing. Do those parents deserve the credit??? People are responsible for their own actions. we make choices, and some of them are not good ones.
I think the parents’ rov should be approached and asked for advice how to handle this. It might be better coming from him, as opposed to you.
The Torah assers leather; not synthetic leather, not crocs,not rubber, not cloth sneakers, just LEATHER. So just do not wear leather.
Kol Yisrael areivim zeh lazeh.
If the guy decides to be creative and take the girl to a place that is NOT a lobby (gasp), they will certainly have much more to talk about! ”
This bears repetition.
No response needed. I just cannot fathom why you would look at this as insulting to your kovod (which is why I think you are yanking our chains). Are you equally insulted when a 13 year old boy gets maftir?
ARWS, Hashem gave many talents to us. Dovid Hamelech was a musician and poet, his son Shlomo was a genius and poet, there are frum artists galore. Don’t feel guilty for appreciating the matanos that Hashem gave to the world, and the beauty expressed by those matanos.
The fact that someone tells you something is done a certain way by his/her community, does not make you lesser for not doing the same thing (as long as you are within halachic guidelines). To each his own. If I felt that uncomfortable, Personally, I would move to a neighborhood more in line with my own hashkafa.
All you were good enough for????? No one should be so kovod conscious that they turn down ANY kibud related to taking the Torah out and putting it away. And, being a woman, I would be thrilled and delighted to even be able to TOUCH the Torah every Shabbos (an option that is not given to me) much less be offered the kovod to be goleil it. It would sadden me to think that any man would feel “cheated” to be offered glilah.
I actually once had this issue, and the result was they debited me TWICE – once when I called it to their attention, and the second time, when someone else caught the mistake just before the person I reported it to took care of it. SO I had to go through the process of reporting it AGAIN, to ensure that I got back ONE of the debits.
Next time,just send them a check, with the amount, if you are really concerned. Most often, they will catch the error on their own.
It is proper to mourn the actions that lead to an untimely death of a Yid. What a waste.
(He’s yanking your chains, people…)
There is no such thing as a nebby kibud, regarding the Torah.
Thanx oomis but what would u consider serious post op problems. And maybe ur friends who gained all back didn’t do adjustments every body I know who did the “gasto” I know lost tons and gained bk but the “band” whom ever I know lost kept it off there r those who never lost but I think they don’t keep to it and don’t adjust
The vomiting was one problem. Pain at the incision plus infection, was another. Plus, AFTER the weight is lost, you really need additional surgery to remove the excess skin that results from such rapid weight loss. That is more time under anesthesia, painful recovery,and scarring. One must be highly motivasted to do this. Someone who does not change his eating habits taht have been gained over a lifetime, will not succeed with this surgery. And if you already are able to change your eating habits – you might not NEED surgery.
Nothing strange about the question. Overreacting to it or overthinking it, is not the best way to go.
Usually a siyyum Mishnayos is made in the zechus of the niftar, and a seudas mitzvah is part of this.
i do it just like you but i dont open the can or poke holes in it.”
And it doesn’t EXPLODE from steam buildup??????
Our close friend AND his wife both had the surgery and had lost a great deal of weight (which they gained back). He went through a terrible time with vomiting, and if he cheated and drank a soda – well don’t ask. I think one has to be exceptionally motivated to follow a healthy eating plan when having such surgery. It is not a magic cure,though from what I have seen, the results are very rapid (maybe that’s the problem). Anyone having serious post-op problems should get to the doc ASAP.
Moshe Rose
Sat on a pin
Moshe rose.”
No that’s more in line with:
Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear
Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair,
Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn’t fuzzy, was he?
AYC, beautiful D”T. Thanks D”Y, A”N, and Kapusta.
Amein
The old lady is still better than the old ball and chain.
Sender, you are kinehora a marvel.
AMEIN – you said it best!
The issur is on the treif cooking, not the “treif” cookbooks. Cookbooks are not treif unless the pages are made from pigskin (and even that is technically not tarfus, but lo tehora).
As a cookbook is not ra-ui l’achila, it does not even have a status of kashrus. I will however, agree with you that given the glut of KOSHER gourmet cookbooks available, there is really no compelling reason to b’davka buy one with questionable recipes. But that certainly does not reflect on your friend’s kashrus. Let’s all find another chynik to hok.
Well then, I guess that since I was in the hospital with my mother when she was having surgery and, therefore, missed the shiur yesterday, I guess I failed the test. 🙁 “
Refuah shelaima to your mother, Wolf. You did the right thing. I bet you were davening for her during the surgery and your presence was a real comfort to her. Kibud Em is a powerful mitzvah.
Why not? You are permitted to cook during the 3 Weeks. It’s not like cooking on Yom tov for the next day. If it makes your yom tov preparations easier to do so, why not? (It IS a little early, though, no??? What do you make that freezes so well for a few months? I’d like to make it, too).
Tell her it’s very common, and she will have perfectly healthy children in the future, Be’ezras Hashem. “
You truly mean well, but you cannot know that she will have other children, and her miscarriage is on her right now, so now would not be the best time to say that. She may not be able to hear it yet.
Just tell her how sad you are for her tzorah, and that you are there for her in any way that she needs you to be. Cry with her, if she needs to cry, take her out of her house for a drive, if that’s what she needs. Let her talk nonstop, or sit with her in silence and let her grieve. Just BE there.
My sister had a miscarriage of her first child, after trying for several years to have a baby. B”H she had three other children, but it did not happen again right away. She was not sure she would ever have children. Every person who said,”Don’t cry, you’re young, you’ll have other children,” meant well, but it was like a stab in the heart. I took her aside with me and just held her and told her if she wanted to cry she was safe with me to do so. She had a very long good cry, and felt a little better afterward.
You cannot make promises to someone – there are no guarantees in life, even when we want to give chizuk. The best chizuk is letting someone know you are there for them in the way that THEY need you to be.
400,000 ” high ???
“The Rules” are that the bride’s side pays for the wedding,meaning the caterer. The groom’s side pays for the FLOP(S), which are Flowers, Liquor, Orchestra, Photographer (and Sheitel).
We didn’t go by the rules, we split the costs 50-50 with our machetonim for each of two weddings, and it was a great decision. Both sides had about the same nymber of guests, so that may be a strong factor in doing it that way.
The ikker is to TALK with your machetonim and reach a decision together without any rancor.
blabla, you are not alone, as you can see. Many people have serious misconceptions about eating disorders. Please take care of yourself, and turn the dietary control into HEALTHY control of your diet.
Daas Yochid, I bow to your greater wisdom.
You should ask a snails if a marriage begun in such a wrong way should be allowed to continue.
OY! I am really hurting for you. I don’t know what to say (for once).
Did the three malachim who came to Avraham Avinu, sleep over? I know they pretended to eat the meal Sara prepared, but I didn’t know they stayed over – I thought they left immediately to complete their missions.
I don’t know of anyone who named their child Ima. “
Former Governor Hogg of Iowa did (you can check this out – it’s true). Some parents should be shot.
Yasher koach on getting published. This is a very choshuv topic, and there are so many misconceptions.