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zahavasdad – let me guess, FB is ok, b/c they have advertisements for Kosher food that they sell at games?
How about a Heter to waste time discussing such garbage???
In the Accounting World, we call these people “LIFO” Jews!
Because their fathers didn’t
The parents are blogging in the Coffee Room!
How about defining what a “heimeshe pizza shop” is first? Most of these “issues” are from “Frum” Jews creating artificial settings/worlds/labels that do not exist and then raising their children in these Fantasy lands.
Educate your kids normally instead of filling their minds up with silly words/rules and maybe they’ll behave like real people.
Its one of those “activities” that fall under “there’s nothing wrong with it”. This is true, but one should make sure the majority of his activities in his/her life are “positive”. Going to a game might be fun, create memories for father/son etc, but shouldn’t be the essence of one’s life.
The fact that chinese auctions offer sporting events tickets, and that they sell Kosher food there, and that “Frum” Camps go on trips, or that they have minyanim there doesn’t make it Muttar. There is no need to make it Muttar since it isn’t Assur.
Zahavasdad – please explain to me the connection between Kosher food being sold at games to Jews being “allowed” to go?
I went to a wedding played be Neginah, where there was mixed dancing and no Mechitza, does that mean that its ok b/c a Jewish band played there?
I have been to weddings officiated by Frum Rabbanim, where the bride isn’t wearing sleeves, is her dress ok b/c a Rov was there?
I go to games all the time, and there are plenty of issues with going, but the fact that Strickly Kosher sells kosher food at Citi Field, doesn’t make it “Mutar”. It just means that a guy is a smart business man and is making money!
Every so often when I am at a game, the crowd’s behavior and language makes me wonder why I am there and also makes me thank Hashem that I am Jewish.
Go Giants!
@RC – There is no Chiyuv to network and there isn’t any perfect system in any circle, religion, etc.
If I may ask you a question now, you mentioned networking, plugged in (not sure into where, but we’ll assume somewhere), yechus, and money.
How come you didn’t mention anything about the boy/girl you are trying to setup? Who are you trying to setup? Your money/yechus, or the girl/boy? How come you haven’t mentioned ANYTHING about the person?
@pooky1 – can you please define “growing/spark”? If they like each other and have core/important qualities/values in common, respect each other, have attraction, – explain to me what else is missing? Think about it, let us know please!
@BTguy – thank, hope I helped! 🙂
@Dont worry – sorry if I was harsh and made this personal, wasn’t mean to be a direct attack on you!
But BH you sound like you are an honest dater which is most important. Its also important that you are honest with yourself and have a good feel of where you are as a person/religously.
I know this sounds simple but you’ld be surprised at how many people have different standards for themselves and their date/potential spouse.
That and the awareness/realization of what marriage/love is all about. I don’t mean to oversimplify, but aside from physical attraction, it comes down to two people respecting each other, mutual core goals and values, and wanting to come home to each other/family iyH every night after work.
Where the boy/girl went to yeshiva/seminary 5-10 years ago is a great fact for Jewish Geography but completely irrelevant to the pair going out. That and their “zionistic/american/harry sounding” first name is also trivial, and yet people place these as the most important things in what to look for!
That and people looking for people who are “frum but with it”, a phrase that can be interpreted only 1,000,000 different ways but yet no one knows what this means. Somewhere along the road, being “Frum” became mutually exclusive to being “fun” and “normal”. Just another example of how people live their lives by words/phrase that can’t define, but they just “know” what it “means”.
Hatzlacha!!
@Dont Worry – I did the single thing for a while also, and then woke up one day and made a practical checklist of what I NEEDED in a girl vs what I WANTED.
It’s not about judging anyone, its about hard cold facts of people being so confused as to what they want, which is clearly reflected in their answers and approach to dating.
I know, i know, every single person feels like they “are different and unique” from every prior match made on the planet, and that they are the first one to ever go on a date in the history of mankind.
Again – we can debate this left and right untill next Chanuka, this is a classic Shabbos Table discussion/topic that really has no right/wrong answer or end.
But to blame the system/game is one thing, the singles themselves also deserve part of the blame.
Think about how many times you turned down a shidduch and for what reasons, and let me know how many of those reasons were concrete/important. If they were real concerns/issues with your dates which are recurring, then you are being fed dates from the wrong sourcee. If not, they sell nice mirrors in Chelm or elsewhere.
K, back to Chelm for me
As my wife and I are both shadchanim, we have some experience in the “Parsha” its not a shidduch crisis, but rather a mental crisis.
@mom12 – you are saying good/correct thoughts, but in that world its MUCH easier said than done. For 18 years the boys/girls grow up in a world where unfortunately certain superficial items ARE the essence of life. Its not fair to ask of the kids dating to now think otherwise!
@scissors, I LOVE the Fiddler reference, but an even better Fiddler reference is the “Do you Love me” song. THAT should be required reading/listening for EVERY marriage in ANY circle!! Far to enough in any circle, people look for “sparks/love/romance”, etc which obviously is important but don’t really exist, nor can be defined. But you end up with people searching for something which is artificial.
And then you have the “frum” girl who is looking for a guy who doesn’t exist. Meaning she wants a guy who will learn, but work, but only work b/c he has to, but love learning, won’t watch TV, but will let her watch movies, that will make aliyah and be a Rebbe while she bakes challas all day.
Then you have those couples that date for 2-3 months and ONLY THEN realize that one of them doesn’t like the other’s personality! What were they doing for all this time?
I don’t claim to have any solutions other than to let people just be themselves (if possible) and teach them whats important and what isn’t. Parents do need some of the blame if their childrens’ Hashkafos and values are warped and fantasy like.
Hatzlacha to all those out there!
How about this topic – Is it Mutar to post in the CR? Why is blogging Mutar?
Eventually though, this “bribery” results in the boy getting into the habit of going to shul w/o worrying about points/rewards.
Would you offer your kid a day off from school at age 10 as a tradeoff for him going to shul at age 20?
Most normal people would say yes
OMG… – you spelled PAID wrong!
It also applies in the Modern Orthodox world of Chinuch and Rabbanus (and the dollars that go with it!) , college/university degree adds a ton!
A) Who is your favorite CR Member?
B) Who is Joseph?
C) Why do people care about the above?
For real – who is your favorite character in Tanach/Bible?
How about asking a Rov? He might know better than the Coffee Room!
Ya, its great news for the NBA fans, I think the NHL’s new popularity scared both sides into making a deal. Had their been the NHL Winter Classic and no NBA going, the NHL would have won over many casual fans.
Agree 100% with RealBrisker (especially with the 2nd post!) – I feel that if I am really a close friend of the Simcha, they will make a way to invite me.
If they have closer friends than I am, then Baruch Hashem, let those closer friends enhance the Simcha!
No need for ill will, bad feelings on either side, clearly the two sides weren’t so close!
When you post in the CR
He is also a Kohen! Based on the fact that his nephew with the same last name is a Kohen 🙂
This much I know about the MO crowd, they aren’t wasting their time in a “Frum” Chatroom aka The CR discussing the silliest topics known to mankind.
I have a real issue with people selectively comparing themselves to Rebbeim and their spouses for “Kulas”. These silly questions are insulting and lack all common sense.
How come the question isn’t “Rav Soloveitchik knew Kol HaTorah Kulah, how come my husband doesn’t”?
When your husband is the next Rav Soloveitchik, then you should compare yourself to his wife!
Same question was asked in August 2001, when the Sbarro’s Pizzeria on the corner of Yaffo and King George was bombed. Lots of guys/girls that would have been going to Yeshiva/Seminary in Eretz Yisroel stayed in the “safer” America. Then 9/11 happened and these kids and their parents looked even more ridiculous.
If feelings have/are developed, then clearly it is NOT platonic.
Now you have one of two choices, either build on the feelings that you or your “friend” have for their relative, or just stop cold turkey. Clearly there is no middle ground here.
Can you share more details/specifics?
I have been in some shuls on Shabbos, where after Kedusha of Mussaf, the Rov puts on his hat as do the rest of the Tzibur. Not sure why one needs a hat Post Mussaf Kedusha when he didn’t wear one till then!
I always tip, you never know if the waiter/ess is having a bad day or has personal issues bothering him/her. Leaving a nice tip would make him/her feel that much better.
I have been to restaraunts where they have forgotten parts of the order, or brought the appetizer after the entree. When you think about it, who really cares? Everyone makes mistakes. I am sure you would want a mulligan/2nd chance if you made one so let the the waiter/ess have one also.
Mikehall – thank you for agreeing 🙂
I was just trying to figure out the connection between baseball games and minyanim to being embarrassed to wear a Kippa in certain public places.
Don’t know if am “lucky” to have gone, but it has been a fun ride!
Maybe I’ll take you and you can show me all the fans that DON’T Curse and the ladies that actually wear clothes 🙂
Mikehall – I have probably been to over 400 games (i have the stubs to prove them), however this is not about the “Kedusha” at the Meadowlands or gate D at Jets games or Yankees RedSox playoffs or the bleacher creatures being frum. I agree with you, there is NO difference between this or an airport, etc.
All I said was “if you are embarrased to go to a place with a Yarmulka, you probably shouldn’t be going there at all”
And the response was “Would you be embarrassed to walk into a baseball game where there sell KOSHER FOOD (The employees at the stand usually wear kippot)”
How is that an answer?? Why are people embarrassed to wear Yarmulkas at games?
I have worn my yarmulka at times (at least the National Anthem) to the World Series, NBA and NHL Finals – I am still trying to
figure out the connection between games and being embarrassed to wear a Yarmulka – somebody please help!
And lets be honest – the crowd isn’t exactly Kosher 🙂 VERY FUN but NOT Kosher!
And have you ever consulted a Rov about davening at a game?
Davening in a place that has cheering/cursing all around you, smells of beer and has ladies walking around half dressed doesn’t sound so Kosher either!
Again, just b/c “its done” doesn’t mean its right.
So if the game isn’t treif and can have a minyan, then why not wear a Yarmulka?
Or to go back to this topic, how is the game example any contradiction or a proof agaisnt what I said about “being embarrassed” wear it in a place as a sign not to enter the place?
Zahavasdad – Who is supposed to ban the minyan? The Eida Chareidis of Citi Field? The minyan is “allowed” by the security guards. I am willing to bet that if you ask an Rov where you should daven, game vs Shul, they would say Shul.
I have davened at Busch Stadium in St Louis, but so what? Doesn’t make it right or wrong. And does not have anything to do with wearing a Yarmulka either!
The fact that Jews make a minyan there just shows that they want to have their “Gashmius” while not ignoring their “Ruchniyus”. It just eliminates the issue of missing minyan b/c of a game.
But the Minyan does not make the game/stadium into a “Frum” outing/event at all.
Zahavasdad – just because you choose to wear a hat to a game, doesn’t mean that you are embarrassed to wear a Yarmulka.
Do you not wear a Yarmulka during the National Anthem?
And not sure why the Kosher Food part is relevant, McDonalds also sells Kosher products.
My friend taught me a General Rule of Thumb….If you are to embarrased to walk into a place wearing a Yarmulka, then you shouldn’t be walking in there at all.
Lion King is Geshmak! just an amazing, brilliant show. the songs, dances, everything is amazing! Really a classic!
Wicked (Wizard of Oz prequel) is also very good.
I would recommend watching both movies before as “chazara” 🙂
Enjoy!
How about being happy that your brought Simcha to other Yidden and that Hashem will reward you in His way that is worth more than a few dollars?
My wife and I made a shidduch, and the Kalla’s mother gave us a nice gift. And if she hadn’t, life goes on knowing that we BH brought Simcha to someone else.
Aside from the Halachick issues, Issurim (if you hold that way), the entire concept is impossible.
Single Guys and Single Girls CAN NOT (not practical) be friends! All it leads to is akwardness and inner feelings being hurt.
A guy who says “my best friend is a girl”, is basically saying “I like this girl so much, but she doesn’t like me back, so we are best friends, so I can always have hope of marrying her”.
The guy who is “friends” with a girl, will ALWAYS hold out hope that they will get engaged/married to each other.
And yes the same/above applies to the girl also.
either way – they both don’t exist!
The Ladder theory is blocked my my firewall at work, but from experience in the “Chinuch/Social” world, there is NO such thing as a plutonic relationship between Boy/Man and Girl/Woman
Never Never ever
You’ll be fine IYH, I had/have the same issue and BH am happily married with children.
I would recommend getting some quick therapy courses and just go with it. “Mi Sam Peh La Eeleym?” Its all in Hashem’s hands anyway (like everything else!).
Hatzlacha!
As someone in chinuch for over 10 years, I can recommend this for starters: One should spend less time in the CR and more with his/her kids.
CR/Cellphone/Facebook/etc etc – enough with the gadgets, kids need parents not texts.
I never understood the taava to make a Kosher version of every Goyisha product possible.
It personally bothers me to see “Bloomioes” and all these are Heimishe brands trying to copy the goyisha (yes Kosher) products.
Just strikes me the wrong way
@ Wolf – what does IANAL stand for?
thanks!
And if we agree/disagree, will it change the school’s mind?
I davened in a Minyan this morning where the Rov said we should say Full Hallel w/o a Bracha after Davening. What was sad was watching a few people leave the shul to protest this. Clearly I am not one to give a psak regarding the Tefilos to add, etc but I feel if you daven with a Tzibur and the Rov paskened, it looks bad to walk out. Interestingly enough, they were ok with skipping Tachanun, they didn’t go out of there way to say Tachanun! And you also wonder, who are they protesting to? 30 random Balabatim who don’t have a say in the Medinah politics anyway!
Are you even allowed to go to a baseball game?
Just shows that people should always take an open minded approach to dating, b/c you never know! People try and make the shidduch/marriage on paper w/o realizing that there are humans involved. And then we wonder why there is a “crisis”?
Whats the number?
OP – who was it Mekarev?? And to what? Light Chanuka Licht for 8 days and then???
And to copy such a Goyish tune??