Forum Replies Created
Funny – but when I grew up, a similar word, with similar meaning was used.
Chazerei – meant nosh, but stems from the word, chazer (in yiddish), chazir – in Hebrew, a pig.
In English people will say – don’t be piggish.
I don’t know the word above, but maybe it’s similar.
If you have to go to school or continue going about your day without sleep, it’s very hard to ward off the headache.
A few things I will add, that I would never take that advil or coffee on an empty stomach. The migraine makes me nauseous and the advil will make that much worse. And I would say 2-3 advil, not 1-2.
Also I find, eating a hot, filling meal, and drinking a lot of liquids, when you have the headache. In general, not at the time of a headache, but always remaining hydrated, eating enough, or small snacks to be full, and sleeping as reguarly as possible. Not too much or too little.
I will sometimes buy a slice or two of pizza to help feel full and satisfied (when I already have a headache) although it’s not in my budget to buy pizza. A iced soda/slurpy with caffeine too.May 24, 2012 5:29 pm at 5:29 pm in reply to: Whitelist vs. Blacklist & Remote vs. Local Internet Filtering #876465
Chassidishe Gatesheader – can I ask you this?
If a person would work from home and need to use remote desktop, etc. wouldn’t the best option be to have a filter at the ISP level, and one installed on their computer locally as well?
Would a local filter help when connecting with remote desktop, or logmein, teamviewer, gotomypc, etc?
That is so, so awful.
I think if Yeshiva World and the other sites were aware of what a significant loss you suffered, I think they’d realize such pictures should never be posted.
Moderators – please bring this to someone’s attention.
Regarding the DMV, they can show gory videos to students learning to drive, etc. But that doesn’t mean frum sites need to provide that service!!
IT NEVER HAPPENED. PERIOD. YWN has never once published the death of ANYONE, EVER, before the family is notified.
On a side note, just wondering if Takewhatlifegivesyou ever got the professional help he ranted and ranted about needing in all his previous posts?
To all the IT people here who seem to say filters are impractical or won’t work for them – Can I ask you the following –
Can’t you have a filter that would hide images, so that when you go to yahoo etc, you don’t have to see improper images and certainly those that may be worse than on yahoo.
It doesn’t mean that you’re not smart enough to get around the filter. But isn’t it better, as you long as you keep the filter on, you don’t inadvertently see things you wish you hadn’t?!
If the internet usage is for casual/recreational use, home use, then I don’t see why the k9 filter (some slowing down) should be a problem.
If it’s for work usage, consulting a qualified frum computer technician will help you choose the correct filter (at the router level is much safer).
Although there may be cost involved, keeping your computer running efficiently and keeping yourself protected is worth the cost.
My suggestion would be to check out the Lakewood Scoop (website) classified section and also get on the mailing list for the BP Weekly (call BP Graphics).
Lakewood is 40 minutes from Deal, sometimes 30 depending on traffic and where you live.
Your best bet is to ask someone who installs computer systems. They would have the most comprehensive answer. There are filters at the router level or before it comes into your house/office.
People with poor eyesight used to use an magnifier on top of a book or sefer. I don’t know if it was electronic or not, but I’ve also seen older people holding magnifying glasses.
A siddur is a kodosh thing, we don’t drop it on the floor. We kiss it when we close it, put it right side up, and don’t put other objects (Non seforim) on top of it.
I may be from a different generation, but I can’t see davening from an electronic device. A Tallis, a sefer Torah, a sefer they are kodosh. If this device was only for Kedusah, I think it could be counted as the above objects. (Just like a klaf became a printed book.) But the device is not only for kedusha so what does that make it? I once asked about tapes – if they need to be buried, and I was told they have no kedusha whatsoever, you can just throw them out. So how can you compare a kindle to a siddur? Where’s your Jewish heart?
Thank you very much. Your suggesions were very helpful, and I wrote down a lot of the author names.
NitPick – I also l’chatchila don’t believe murder mysteries are a good thing at all. In this case with this child, this is where we’re holding. I’d like to fulfill his need for these type of books without exposing him to pritzus.
Sorry. I should have been more clear.
My son is 16 and is too old for Nancy Drew, Devorah Doresh. Although we don’t allow library books, etc, I AM looking for non Jewish, library books for him. That author Agatha Christie sounds like what I’m looking for.
There should be murder mysteries written before 1990 without pritzus in them. That’s what I’m asking about.
I think a website like that has to start out free and then if it’s popular you can have advertising on it. You can maybe later on charge a fee.
Most of the writers should not be allowed within 2000 feet of a school building …My general shitta is, that educational experts are those who can’t hack it as teachers. And I have heard the most outrageous things from these “experts.” I think it would be a great chessed to society if someone could raise the money to pay them all to just go away …
Are you serious – is this how a Jew should talk?
Rambunctious boys sometimes need to be put in place. I don’t recall any big embarassment when my boys were sent home or sent to a lower grade.
Do you really think Rav Yaakov Bender believes emotional abuse is ok? How can you write like that publically about Chashuve people? After reading that I want to never come back to this web site.
I read on a different website the following –
They were discussing the truthfullness of what she said and a teacher who had taught with her said:
In her book she said she never wore makeup until her wedding. But I taught with her when she was single, and she wore makeup every single day. If I can already see this one small lie, you can imagine there are many others.
I actually doesn’t matter what it’s lies or not. What someone said earlier, maybe Poppa – All our Orthodox practices if explained negatively, can be made to sound awful, restricing and archaic. The Chumras of the Satmar community can be explained to sound beautiful too, I’m sure. Distortion is also a form of a lie.
I’d like to try to answer your question as I am a product of this type of background.
“Modern Orthodoxy” was the orthodoxy that existed in America in the early 1900’s just by virtue of it’s existence. No one initially defined it.
Many things the old timers brought over from Europe were not continued by the next generation.
Those who remained Orthodox – kept Shabbos, but were often very unknowlegable of the details of Halacha in all areas. Ladies covering hair, carrying a key of Shabbos, correct procedures for warming food on Shabbos, making Brochos on food, Shatnez, modest clothing, etc. These things weren’t kept properly by many. This was what modern Orthodoxy was – Jews who weren’t the bearded European parents, who were educated secularly and limited in their Jewish knowlege.
In addition there were the ideological changes of the generation regarding education, knowlege and type of jobs available to Jews.
At some point Rav Soloveichik defined Modern Orthodoxy as a goal for those who were remaining Orthodox – more stringent Halacha, and the incorporation of the study secular subjects and worldliness in order to bridge the gap between the Torah and the Jews of the day.
There are those today who call themselves modern Orthodox – who go mixed swimming, etc. – this is not the Modern Orthodox the Rav wanted people to aspire to. He wanted to get people to keep the Torah properly, to keep mitzvos more correctly, but was also incorporating secular knowlege and study into it.
It’s a kiruv organization broadcasting to those who have TVs with shiurim and programs for children.
I’ve been reading your posts and everyone’s posts.
Hashem should give you lots of strength. I’m thinking of you as I’m sure everyone is.
Some things I’m thinking maybe there were said already in a sense. There are many helpful Rebbetzin’s, Rabbonim and therapists. But keep your wits about you as to when you feel someone is helpful, can really understand and is objective. Don’t just spill your guts to anyone assuming they’ll be totally on your side.
I agree with the poster who wrote there are abusive husbands and husbands that are angry, under stress and ACT in an abusive way. An abuser can ACT caring and loving. A frustrated, stressed husband can be caring and he really is, and does INSIDE feel remorse for what he’s doing although he may not show it on the outside. Don’t everyone disagree with me, because I know someone like that.
I think you have to think about (with help perhaps)- would he want to improve, would he want help. If the answer is he’s too angry, too far gone, not intersted in working things out. Or does he sincerely want to change – especially if he’s not criticized but encouraged.
I’ve been told that years ago reliance on “ingredient lists” was
also due to the fact that food production was much simpler without complex ingredients available today as well as a lower standard of knowlege and observance.
I don’t feel Rav Elyashiv’s words are being understood correctly.
As such we must protest and warn against all sorts of trends … that seek to harm the pure oil of the hareidi institutions… Such a framework will subject hareidi Jews to the control and culture of secular Jews who have thrown off the yoke of Torah.
He doesn’t anywhere say a frum man who needs to earn a living or doesn’t feel he’s cut out for learning should BE LEARNING. He’s simply talking about Nachal HaChareidi, how it’ll impact on yeshivas – (“hareidi institutions”) and subject hareidi Jews to the secular culture.
I think Ateres is a very frum seminary for very yeshivishe girls if that’s what you’re looking for and the type of girl that you are. They are not focused on academics the way some other seminaries like BJJ are.December 26, 2011 4:53 pm at 4:53 pm in reply to: When Parents' interests are mutually exclusive to their children's #838404
I don’t think there are so many parents who are like you describe – want their kids near by to have them at the supper table. Most of us realize they can’t be tied to Mommy’s apron strings forever, and B”H we lead busy lives so we’re not so lonely without them.
There’s pros and cons to each situation as already mentioned above. As a parent of high school boys who’ve been both out of town and in town –
In a dorm yeshiva, the boy often can grow much more as he is in a seviva where all is focused on learning, not busy with narishkeiten so much, and doesn’t come home and want to run to various stores and eateries, etc. That’s if it’s a strong yeshiva – he’ll come home wearing his tztizis out, take his learning much more seriously, etc.
But then there’s a weaker boy who you really want to keep an eye on him more, see him daily so his “look” doesn’t change without you being aware of it. You are more aware of his bedtime, when he’s on the phone at night (so far no texting), his friends, the devices they may have. Much more aware than you’d be if he was away.December 23, 2011 3:08 pm at 3:08 pm in reply to: When asked Shiduch info: Do I have to tell the girls side that my friend smokes? #838325
The Halachos of these things are very complicated. It’s really best to ask a shailah. Some things an individual may be makpid on, and then there are things most people are makpid on.
For example if a person has always told you, I don’t want a shidduch if the person has a mental illness in the family. You may have more of an obligation to tell them initially than someone else who should perhaps be told later on.
If you’re lucky enough to have time to get back to them and didn’t yet reveal this information – then go ask a shailah.
I only know of clothing.
For used non clothing items I would try Craigs List.
There’s an excellent second hand clothing store for women and children called Deja Nu. And a men’s clothing store as well not far from NPGS Jackson on the south side of County Line Road.
I don’t think I can include address information, but ask around, and you’ll find it out.
Jothar – it is very commendable that you want to keep things on the straight and honest path. I would imagine though that many of the frum posters here aren’t 100% upfront about their identities. Whether they profess to be male or female, young or old, etc. There may be non Jews or not frum people also “faking it.” I would think – leave well enough alone unless they’re pushing an agenda that’s insulting, criticizing the other posters and Yiddishkeit. Am I right?
I don’t know if houses are available in this area – but Khal Ateres Yeshaya (Rav Simcha Bunim Cohen’s shul)on County Line Road is mostly working people, and from what I understand it is people very focused on growing with shiurim from both the Rav and Rebbetzin.
I don’t know what nussach they daven.
Guard Your Eyes – I once went to your Website and found it inappropriate for myself to be going there.
Do you have a url that just discusses filtering or a phone number/hotline just for this purpose?
The OPs question was
“I even know of people who won’t even send their kids to Stern or Touro. Why?!! They think it’s not where a religious person belongs.”
Sam2 you’ve just answered her question.
Many Bais Yaakov girl’s will not put themselves in an environment where there is socializing between boys and girls (men and women) whatsover. Not just not to participate, but to be in such an environment. This is the derech they believe to be correct following their rabbonim and mechanchos.
They will be very selective in choosing a work environment as well. Many will only consider a job in a girls school or in an office where the interactions between men and women are distant and formal. They would most definitely not work in a place where there are any single, frum young men.
My memories go back many years. I had some friends in Stern. Thursday nights, I think it was, the Stern lobby was filled with boys. There were also parties that took place at YU. Are things different today?
There are those that are against Stern or Touro, but not a Cope course or similar.
Why is that?
1. Some people are very concerned about what seviva that are in. They would want to go to school with like-minded girls whose standards in Yiddishkeit and tznius match their own upbringing. They would not find the male-female socializing between YU and Stern acceptable.
2. Some people would not like to be exposed to the anti-Torah values of the outer society especially when learning psychology, counseling or social work or similar subjects.
3. They want to learn something very specific such as accounting/computer programming without wasting time having to get a “well rounded” education.
There are so many fulfilling things you can volunteer for – Tomchei Shabbos, Chai Lifeline, visting old people.
You can also try to get a part time job.
Find a creative hobby you’d enjoy.
Or come to my house to clean and organize. I wish I had the time.
I find it interesting – there is a poster named
Babbi Rrog or something like that in this thread.
That name is very similar with some characters reversed to Rabbi Avigdor Miller’s son-in-law.
I agree with the posters above that you shouldn’t push religion or inspiration about Yiddishkeit in any way. Just be a positive role model.
13 is very young to be in the situation she’s in, although I guess that’s the world today. You can try to discuss the idea that girls want much more from a relationship that her “boyfriend” is probably looking for. Closeness and true friendship, someone who generally cares about her. Not that she can even understand that so well at her age either. She doesn’t want to be used by someone and then dropped for the next pretty girl who will come along. Try to emphasize that.
A non religious friend, or mother of such a friend might be able to be very helpful too. She is really very young.
I don’t think you’re missing anything.
The married women situation just might make more sense, than the other group – not needing a dorm etc.
All of schools should have classes at different levels. Do some research contact them all – you should be able to reach a secretary during Israeli morning hours I would think and ask questions, which classes, which speaker/teacher, what time and day of week etc.
From my personal experience more than 20 years ago, Neveh is more focused on text and skills and EYAHT on Haskofo.
Some very good speakers at EYAHT years ago were Rabbi Yitzchok Berkowtiz and Rabbi Zev Leff and of course Rebbetzin Weinberg.
Good Luck and enjoy
When driving first began, in my parents generation, the majority of drivers were men. My mother and some of my friends mother’s didn’t drive. Not for tznius reasons, but it was a man’s role.
I do drive, but in trying to explain to others, I say, can you imagine a woman driving a large truck, no, that’s not refined or it’s not a woman’s role. It’s a more agressive, assertive or public role. In communities with a higher standard of tznius in many areas, this feeling remains that a woman driving is not the proper role for a woman – too much in the public eye, and in certain ways too agressive.
Although I drive here in the US, I would not drive in communities in Eretz Yisroel that have that standard as it is not respectful. You can do things differently and yet admire others for their higher standard and not have to put them down.
Am I wrong – in another thread he’s talking about girl showing up for the first date casual and now we’re up to fourth date?
Over a span of two days?
I’m not incredulous of his dating abilities, but his honesty.
I think this all boils down to sensitivity. I drive a car in the United States, but would not do so when visiting friends in Charedi neighborhoods in Eretz Yisroel, where women don’t drive. It is conspicuous to drive there, similar to a woman driving a large truck here in the United States.
Many sunglasses that are worn make a fashion statement and call attention to the wearer as do too fancy clothes or too much makeup. One can’t put a guideline on what is too much makeup, it’s really a sensitivity.
A person who needs sunglasses to protect his eyes and yet wants to be modest and refined looking can certainly look for some that are quieter and more conservative than many of those being sold today. For an important interview or business meeting no one would try to achieve the “cool” look. The same should be true for the frum Jew always.
I’m talking in the 1930’s. My grandparent’s generation couldn’t afford yeshiva, certainly not for girls.
Don’t get me wrong. I disagree with the Zionist and feminists of some of todays MO. But what’s the point. They’re not going to be convinced. Let’s just all work on the goal of improving ourselves, share that as something in common. Trying to prove someone else wrong doesn’t work. Making them your friend and being someone they can respect will accomplish a lot more.
Actually I grew up modern orthodox. I’m not sure what vibes you were getting. But most of the parents of my friends went to afternoon Talmud Torah or maybe the fathers went to Yeshiva for elementary school. Many daven without moving lips, eat without a bracha, on a regular weekday don’t bentch, etc., etc. They are really tinokos she’nisbeoo – not aware of Halacha and when made aware of it, don’t find it so binding. This is true for the older generation.
For the next generation, “why don’t their educators educate them? ” They did. The next generation is much more educated and keeps Halacha much better. The teachers are now teaching the next generation and are battling the computer/internet/ipod issues but are still educating them.
My point was to be tolerant and not judge others and realize eveyone IS COMING FROM A DIFFERENT PLACE.
If someone else follows his Daas Torah and is constantly trying to improve, I don’t need to try to convince to follow my way, (even though I don’t think his is the ideal.) And if he doesn’t follow any Dass Torah and doesn’t keep Halacha and mitzvos so well, it’s only because he grew up in a partial spiritual desert.
What’s the point of trying to convince the YU guy to become “Chareidi”? Let’s all just work on improving our mitzvah observance. That’s a goal we all share. If he then sees that in my lifestyle things to be admired, I’ll certainly be happy to welcome him.
I don’t understand what you’re calling a sweeping generalization.
The Rabbonim of their shuls try. With adults it’s always very difficult to affect change.
In school the teachers and Rabbaim do try to have an influence on them. Many idealistic girls and Rabbeim teach in day schools. Many teenagers also become much frummer after their year in Eretz Yisroel.
Today, in addition to movies and TV, they are also combatting the outer society’s permissiveness and promiscuousness, computer games, the internet and texting. Not an easy battle.
There’s something I’d like to add here. Yiddishkeit in America in the early 1900’s and in the 40’s,50’s,60’s,70’s was weak. Many mitzvos weren’t observed properly. As Yiddishkeit has come of age in America, with the growth of education and yeshivos, there has been much improvement. The “behavioral” modern orthodox are an outgrowth of a lack of knowlege and lack of Jewish education.
Many “behaviorially” modern orthodox people I know DO NOT KEEP a lot of the details of Halacha that their Rabbonim WANT THEM TO. It’s not really right to battle with them, as they are uneducated as to their heritage – the details of cooking on Shabbos, making Brachos on food, tznius, davening 3 times a day, etc. They are really tinokos shenisb’oo. Their descendents as well – unless they are inspired to LOOK FURTHER as I personally was.
Other than that, let each live his own. A person may disagree with the other’s haskafos towards the secular world and science, but each person has to work on improving him/herself, as he will one day meet his Maker. I personally feel the “isolationist” path is more correct, but I know I have my own avodas Hashem and own battles to fight as each person does. I no longer need to try to convince others to follow my way.
Thank you so so much.
I would love to do this but haven’t had time. Find an older person who speaks both Yiddish and English that would enjoy teaching you Yiddish and would love the company and feeling of being needed.July 20, 2011 3:40 pm at 3:40 pm in reply to: How do you tell a good friend you no longer want to eat at their home? #1051856
As they seem knowlegable and cognizant of Halacha, could you tell them the following.
I am recently realizing that you:
1. Warm up liquids on Shabbos in the following manner.
We are makpid not to do that and would like to continue eating by you, but have to ask you to do the following …
2. Whatever other things you need to discuss ….
Don’t present it like they are violating Halacha, but rather that you do differently, like the Cholov Yisroel example above.
The conversation may be difficult or somewhat insulting, but present it pleasantly and emphasize that you want to continue coming. And if it works when you do come, bring something for the meal as a gift so to speak, not something to be correcting them about.
Your question is commendable (if sincere). In extreme hot weather, in the high eighties or nineties there is a danger of dehydration. Personally I get very severe headaches easily and to be able to function (go to work, take care of my family) I need air conditioning. Most people will need it at even much much lower temperatures than that to function properly.
I think most people would feel they can do mitzvos better when feeling well – daven, learn, etc. Also, children need a geshake, happy house. They shouldn’t feel they’re suffering. (See Rav Brezak’s articles in the Yated on having delicious food and treats on Shabbos) . I imagine the Steipler didn’t eat cake or ice cream. If a person wants to limit their gasmius there’s probably many areas to start with before removing air conditioning. But for himself, not his children or spouse. Maybe limit noshing to only on Shabbos and other things like that.
I know I don’t post here often, but reading your original post, felt you must be unsure in your change, of yourself or how others will view you, if you’re polling others as to how they’d view the change.
YOU have to be happy and comfortable with what you’re wearing, that’s the most important.
A non Jew who is intellectually honest understands that the normal marriage relationship produces children, and the other types of marriages do not. He understands that historically all religions have considered this type of behavior immoral; that in the past doctors and psychologists considered it deviant. He can see that ONLY in this generation of “all is ok” have the natural order of things been twisted and changed.
He might say – why are so many people in the non Jewish world not against this lifestyle? The same way the Nazi soldiers chose the path of evil and cruelty despite their natural human kindness G-d created them with, people can choose to pursue a corrupt, deviant way of life to such an extent that they no longer OBJECTIVELY can recognize the NATURAL way the world was created to function.
Unfortunately, it doesn’t always make a Kiddush Hashem. The cashier may be uncomfortable or aggravated at her mistake being noticed.
I was in Children’s Place and was making some returns and got back too much money. The Rav I asked said I didn’t have to go back, but it would be a Kiddush Hashem. When I went back, the cashier then was under scrutiny of a manager going through the whole receipt, and apparently she made a few mistakes. She certainly wasn’t appreciate that I came back.
So I guess it pays to take into account what your return/correction will cause.
I always wonder if I’m a bit OCD – maybe you can answer this – I like things to be clean and also very neat, and it bothers me very much when they’re not. I can only do so much with a family of kids and do look away when I can’t straighten up or don’t have strength. But it does make me nervous when things are out of order and give me such a good feeling to clean and organize. When I go down to the laundry, I notice if the stairs need to be swept and if someone brushed their teeth, I notice that now the mirror is now spotted up. I don’t loose my temper but sometimes feel tense inside from things not being the way I want. Any recommendations? Books ideas etc?
I’ve eaten pumpkin pie which was very good, but I don’t have a recipe.
Sometimes in the bakery you’ll see a fruit pie, with 1/4 apple filling, 1/4 cherry, 1/4 lemon and 1/4 blueberry (I’m guessing at those ingredients, but let’s just say 4 types of filling). That would be very different looking (with the criss-crossed dough on top), and easy to make, if you buy the filling.
Let us know what you choose.