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I have nothing against BTs.and to quote R’ Amnon Yitzchak ‘we should all be BTs’
but being a shadchan and a Rebitzin for oorah, it basically goes under the category of wanting your own kind, not for any derogetory reasons. I myself being of Hungarian background would prefer with the same background. I have offered some wonderful geirim and geyoros to baalei tshuva and they refused..they would take baalei tshuva..but why should they take geirim.
no problem. I respect everyones wishes.
I think eclipses is correct if women and girls would have healthy self esteems they wouldnt have to prove themselves to anyone and they would be proud to be doing the right thing. as they were positively and gently taught the correct way of dressing- specically by the mothers example as well as perhaps the father mentioning the rewards for dressing tzniusdig. Tznius begins at home….
You can ask for whatever u like but be sincere of your wants and needs. dont request a type of person unless you want to live that lifestyle, or because all your friends are marrying this or that type. Nothing is wierd. but if I may make a suggestion, dont be so hung-up and stubborn about the type, if there is a fact or a detail different of what you had in mind look into it anyway..It just might work!
One other thing to remember, if a person is sincere about learning and buildin a torah’dige home, he can do it even if he is working. Someone that means it sincerely will always find time for his shiur .
I went to shul for the tekios and then went outside to watch my children so they do not disturb others who are davening. I came in every so often for parts of ‘hoiche shmoine esre’. as long as I have small children my job is to watch them. and not allow them to disturb others. Shul is not a playground and fathers are not meant to babysit children in shul while the mother sleeps (unles there is a necessity- which does happen at times)
A gitt gebentchd yur to all!!
I know exactly how you feel.There are a few issues in my family that I would rather not publicize but nevertheless word sometimes does get around, and totally distorted to boot!
If it gets back to me, I explain exactly what happened and what the situation is now, and its not as bad as they heard, and the next thing I figure when it comes to the right shiduch they wont even hear it or they wont make an issue of it, and if they do and they are so narrowminded well thats not for me!
We’ve been tp NH several times. Firstly u might want to try Bethlehem for a place to stay. bakerbrook, where we stayed, I believe closed down. there is a site ,I just cant recall the name where people that own apts, in loon, and the small towns around post rental dates their apts are available. Then you would get in touch with the owner and make necessry arrangements. where to pik up key and whom to pay etc..as far as attractions it all depends what u like there are walking and bike trails..storytown for kids and plenty of other things to do pick up brochures as someone els suggested. best bet is to bring as much of your own food as possible. there are places to pik up kosher food but often not fresh and quite minimal and pricey. ENJOY
how about res-hab, camps are looking counselors…
how about if I sit here instead of cooking dinner for my family???????
am I part of the group?
both my ‘girls’ and ‘boys’ schools have anti junk rules for snack..
I must admit the girls school is more strict about it- they actually take the nash away snak may only be a PLAIN mezonos (no chocolate chip or sprinkle cookies- thats for shabos party) and fruit or veggies..
If the boys want to take have something unacceptable I remind them of the note the school sent home…it usually works.
On the whole I dont bring it in the house
As I was reading I wanted to mention res-hab.. but someone beat me too it.
My daughter did res-hab one year after her full day 8:30 to 4 job..she earned really nicely.
I now took on a res-hab case as well.. I even take my 2 yr old with…
If u r still in school You can still continue in September as an after school job.
Its very rewarding.
I got one of those survey ones whisch I dont feel like answering…
there are many unnecesary questions.
the constitution says to count the people which I gladly answer but what difference does it make what time ALL the people and children get up in the mornng and what time they go to work???????? Maybe they want to put up more D and F trains?!!!!
This is where my distrust in our president gets strongER!
so did I.
Shabsi comes from shabos
Agreed- vus hut di tuna beigel gezindigt?
my goodness..what is this shiduch scene coming too?
One thing if one does give there handwriting, make sure u get a sample of the boys and his mothers in return ..to be paid for by the boys mom!!
It looks like I’m in the wrong place B”H
But I must say what beautiful and inspiring stories..
May we all all be zoche to simchos and tchias hamesim in our day
How I long to have my grandparents back..
NOBODY IS PERFECT–not the boys and not the girls
the question is which IMperfection can you live with!
aries I am in total agreement with u- give the kid a clean slate and give them a chance! I unfortunately went thru this a few times-only bec. they were not given a chance as well as accepting l”h…
B”H they got into yeshivos, but with a lot of agmas nefesh…
sometimes dreams come true…
I redd many shiduchim…the bottom line is no one wants to give in to ANYTHING
and this is what a marriage is..
gitt! ober finn vus rett men?
stamm shtissim???
sorry to hear that-be glad u have a job..we have no parnassa since last Feb.
which is over a yr now!
BTW I never officially introduced myself so here I am ..
I am a kinda busy mom so I only get to join occasionally
Have a good day everyone!
yeder shmoiger- far zich toig er.
an alten ber ken men nisht oislernen tanzen.
more to come…I just have to remember them.
der mit di mea hut di deia.
APY- i really empathize with u since I get the same thing…
and I am a shadchan as well..
THE GOODS ARE NOT RETURNABLE-SO U DO HAVE TO CHOOSE WISELY!
if u dont think it’s ‘zigepast’ u have all the right
but being on the shadchans side I do find ppl assume the proposed shidduch is not apropriate, too quickly…
when s/o mentions a shidduch to me I tell them i will look into (even if I see it’s not appropriate) and get back to them..
how about a yiddishe mamme?
thats jewish…
Ich volt geshribin mit yidishe oisiyos uber ich hub nisht di meglichkeit tzi toishen..
vet men azoi mizn oishalten…
nu…vus iz neyes?
if I would have thought of this 30 yrs ago….
Yes the malach of shidduchim is doing his job!
I have an interesting story as well,
but it will have to be at a later date
too much to type for now.
oomis1105- U r 100% right and I am working on it..my children think I am mean and not helpful but I know this is best for them..
potsandpans as I am not familiar with ‘shiduch world’ as to who he caters to..I can tell u from my experience as a shadchan, this is a very very difficult group!
just yesterday I was told about 3 girls who would take chassidish and working..(its a shame they cant marry 3 at a time) these come few and far between -zei matzliach
this is exactly what i said in the beginning-
before i knew this, shprinze was not the kind of name I would name my daughter!
but now with this meaning maybe I would think about it…
so far I dont know of a babbe Shprinze,…
I find when speaking with singles-boys and girls-
they dont relly know whats important in a marriage (how should they?)
so basically they have their priorities mixed up-and they look for the nice singer..a lot of money..one girl i set up,the date came late so thats a sign that hes a latecomer or farshlept or whatever….there was no way for me to explain to her things happen-
THIS IS LIFE
well she still is not married(I will not disclose how old she is) now she says if I waited so long I am not settling for second best.
mybat-u talking about Israel as well or someplace else?
anonymrs- the law in NY, to stop in all directions, is fairly new
oncoming traffic did not have to stop (unless the bus stopped diagonally and blocked traffic). but it seems there were many accidents that it was put into law. when a bus has its flashing lights on or the stop sign u must stop in all directions-Its really not a bad law if drivers would obey…
I saw too many ‘almosts’…
If u feel like giving something because the shdchan went out of his/her way for u or any other reason..great
but if the shadchan is requesting it as a fee(and when the shiduch works out he’ll take it off ..uhum…)..I say go find another shadchan
thats a shadchans business U get paid only when there is a hit..
And then u want to know why our children act the way they do…
the motto is dont do as I do do as I say…………….
Pashuta Yid…what was that about Boro Park.????…..
Welcome to NY is right-
but when I was in Israel that really got me!
there was an ambulance coming down Rabi Akiva and the light was red..well guess what
NOBODY moved..didn’t even try. There wasnt too much traffic-the cars were able to move
I could not understand…
absolutely not correct- in fact exactly this happened to me/my son
We applied to a certain yeshiva for kitta tes-and we wanted to find out when my son can come down for a farher..so the menahel says well…I dont know…there really isn’t enogh room…I heard your son is below average…and a lot of other balogna.
well my husband begged for him just to meet him and farher himand he finally agreed.
well did he have surprise!
My son did extremely well and only then did he call his melamed from last year who gave an excellent report about him..
so what happened? we later found out he asked one or two other teenagers who perhaps knew my son…they didnt want him in the yeshiva (for whatever reason) andgave ‘bad’ information about my son and in turn just turned us down without even verifying if any of this was true!
being that was my husband was so insistant he just gave in and lo and behold the kid did very well he then went on to verify what was going on…he was B”H accepted.
I do hope this menahel learnt his lesson not to ask other talmidim aor at least verify his INFORMATION!!!!!!!
My sons yeshivos dont allow cellphones..there are plenty of paypones(he ‘s always calling from a different no.) and I have a toll free no. -which I got when my children started going to camp-
sorry-
Enjoy the snow
So u wouldnt say it derives from Dvora
The truth so many nick names over the generations became common given names..
is chanzi perhaps really chana?
Impossible weather in Eretz Hakodesh?
If I’m not mistaken thats where u hail from..
Actually thats the reason I have more time to hang around on-line-
here it is snowing and quite difficult to push a stroller..
Time to cook dinner..
C U later….
I stand corrected.
now back to the original topic -unusual names-
we really went off on a tangent here…where does the Dubbi come from?
I thoght perhaps Devora-but there is another sister with that name.
Thanx-
you should know my friends husband had to sit ..
for not wanting to masser on others
she said he did more learning behind bars then he did at home!
U wanna tell us???
The bottom line is.Each situation has to be dealt with appropriately.
I am on both ends 1-I am a shadchan and redd shiduchim..2) I am on the listening end as well.
I do sometimes speak with the actual boy or girl themselves all ages- older or previously married is definitely more common.
sometimes I do feel the parents are being too picky and not even on the same page as their children-this is where it is necesary to speak to the ‘client’ themselves.
At the same time my daughter doesnt want to handle any of this on her own..it just confuses her.and some shadchanim are so overbearing…
And yes, I had to deal with my own ‘dirty work’
Its a new world….
U said it.
no one else did…
I have a not so Jewish, secular name which is really a definition of my jewish given name. People do comment…but in our day it was the thing to do..
My childrens name are their names..I figured if the chinese and the arabs can have “interesting and strange” names whats the difference if my children do..in offices or airports that is…
Maybe someone can enlighten me perhaps..does anyone know the meaning or derivitive of the girls name Rissa its spelled with a samech..not Rus (Ruth).
On that note the name shprinza comes from the spanish name ‘esparance’ which means hope…when i heard this,well, what to me sounded like some made up name now became a meaningful name….
while I could not read thru evey word of the conversation.. I have a few questions for those that are slightly pro.
Why is it that people from all over the world(where they give free insurance) come to America to get medical care?
Why do people in Israel have to be on a waiting list to have surgery two weeks or more, there are prople walking around with catheters for 6 weeks…My brother was in a motorcycle accident and waited in bed for 2 weeks to have surgery.. this is the kind of medicine we are talking about..brought to you by OBAMACARE..
I dont know…if anyone cares its NOT Obama…
Oh not to forget my neighbors elderly mother who went to Israel for grandchilds wedding and was just left to die because at her age who needed the headache..they actually told this to the daughter-they wanted to know why she was trying so hard..
PS I did NOT vote for Obama
a lot of people sign t’noim at the wedding..this is what i did, and plan to cont.this tradition..
haros: I’m sure u know that when it comes to shiduchim only necessary info is found out to make or break a shiduch. therefore u must ask a shaila if u are allowed to disclose this information…there is a reson they did not come to u for information before the shiduch was finalized..
I had a situation like this and was asurd to say anything..I kept my mouth shut…the couple is B”H happily married!
It really depends what kind of information this is, and has to discussed..
Good Luck
HAPPY BIRTHDAY to me.. since I am the one who gave birth to my baby 2 years ago (in about 2 hrs.. to be exact)
O.K. Here’s an idea..which I use ALL the time, I ask for one ref. that knows boy and one ref that knows family..when I call this ref. I ask them if they can give me someone else that might be able to give me info as well..this is not coming from the boy/girl/parents . so if the next one says I’m not that friendly with this boy or girl its even better, cuz friends will always give the best info. whereas an ‘outsider’ will honestly say if they are friendly, angry etc…