“Do they have many people on welfare… Because I hate lazy people”?

Have you seen the state of economic affairs? Jobs are at an all time low!

Deiyez (by the way, what does your name mean?):

You spelled correctly, so come on over into the right lane with all of us. Frankly, the notion that people have to spend more time reading posts that are misspelled or grammatically incorrect makes me want to do the same. Why not get more attention?! 🙂

I’ve done south beach briefly and loved the food, but found it hard to follow long term. I found weight watchers to be much more realistic in terms of lifestyle changes that one can keep. No foods, whatsoever, are eliminated. They only make you accountable for your choices in terms of quantity. The only way it will work, though, is by measuring and recording everything. I lost 50 pounds on it and dropped 3 dress sizes. It began creeping back on around Purim, when all the junk came into my home. That combined with their changing the program really threw me. I didn’t just diet alone, though. I hired a trainer 3x a week and walked everywhere. Now I’m briefly doing a medically supervised program with calorie restriction, but, frankly, I find it too restrictive. I’m eating way more fruits, and one of my kids who’s chubby and loves junk saw me cutting celery and asked me for some. He actually said yum! OMG! I would never have expected that.

Ok, I know I’m ranting about this one, but, I have cousins in Israel who don’t have mirrors in their house so their daughters won’t become vain. When they got ready for dates they would have to try to see their reflection in the glass of their china cabinet. Everybody on their own level. Is it meritorious? Yes. Should we expect most people to be ready to follow this? No. I think it’s the same with glasses. An argument can be made for both sides. Pick which one you’re ready for, and if/when you feel you’re ready to take on more, ask a rav.

Health

Do you wear sunglasses?

Health.

How much time do you think people spend outdoors in the winter when it’s snowing??

People are not taking leisurely walks, spending loads of time outdoors. Given this last winter we’ve had, I’d say most people had their chins buried in their chests to avoid the harsh winds.

Bar shat

Sounds like you hate summer….

It is my PERCEPTION that sunglasses began in the goyishe community and we adopted the use of them as well. It is also my understanding that the chasiddishe levush used to be the levush of the polish (goyish) aristocracy. Therefore, if the reason yidden are discouraged from wearing sunglasses is because it began in and now is commonly worn in the goyishe community, then, by those standards, wearing chasiddishe levush should also be discouraged. I don’t know that the reason I stated is THE reason. Frankly, until today I never heard of it being a problem. In giving thought as to why it may be viewed as problematic, that is one of the reasons that I would imagine. Maybe wearing sunglasses can make a person feel gaavadik (like “I’m cool”). Who knows?? Frankly, glasses these days are made with protection against UVA and UVB rays, which can cause cataracts and other problems later in life. Why take a chance? It’s silly to me. Just choose a pair that you feel tzniusdik in.

Sunglasses are like l’vush hagoyim. It’s not something that has typically been worn by Jews. Be that as it may, squinting due to harsh rays of the sun is not healthy for one’s vision. I cannot imagine that rabbonim would say “better to compromise your vision than to wear glasses with dark lenses”. That just sounds ridiculous.

Yentemonkey

Trying to heal through blaming the menahel is not going to work. You need to figure out how you’re going to let this affect your life. You’re acting out your anger and sending a message (“oh, yeah? You thought I was bad then?”) by hanging out with the wrong crowd now. The people you would’ve liked to have listened to your outcry have stopped listening. If you feel others let you down, you need to, at the very least, be a friend to yourself. I failed first period two semesters straight in ninth grade because I could never get to school on time. I was 13 and traveling on my own for the first time in my life. I was a latchkey kid, and no one noticed. I had horrible grades, and nearly failed out if high school. It was only later, when I went to seminary and college that I began to care. Going through a rough period is just that; a period. How would you like to see yourself? Forget about what everybody else wants for you and from you. If what you want contradicts what others say is good for you, then find an authority figure (and I know that will be hard after such a major one in your life let you down) and speak. Ask all those questions, discuss all your doubts, talk about your needs and how you don’t know how to make it work with Yiddishkeit. There are people who love to talk to teens who are struggling and to help them. You have to decide what you want to make of this. Look at the kids from the ghetto who have so much anger and never take responsibility to try to make their lives better. My dad has a companion who grew up this way, fighting and angry. He decided he wanted more for himself and is now putting himself through school. He could have crumbled and been a thug and justified it by saying that’s what life threw at him. Instead, he chose to focus on how he can rise above the difficulties.

Being pretty also draws attention. I think there’s a limit to what we can ask of people. No sunglasses is absurd to me.

Try thinking of your date like you’re going out with a new (female)friend. Pretend you’re meeting at your house and think of what you’d say as you’d be leaving. Try “glad to see you…how was your day? Etc..

I’ve heard that stevia affects fertility, not splenda.

If you live in new York, you can try bais Chana (I think that’s what it’s called). It’s seminary for women in Crown Heights (Lubavitch). Women of all ages go there, and they cater to women who do not have yeshiva background. My best friend went there in her 30’s when she got married. You’ll fit in at any stage/age, and you don’t have to go wait to go overseas to have the sem experience. Then, when you are ready, later, you can look into going to sem in Israel, even during a vacation visit during the summer or any time of year. Eyhat(aish hatorah for women) and neve would gladly take students there for only brief periods, if you’re committed to learning. You can rent your own apartment, learn part time, and be with your husband the rest of the time while there.

If you’re getting multiple recommendations for lead singers, you can ask them when will they be playing with those singers at upcoming weddings, and then go and hear them. That will be a simple way to decide.

By discussing this, even though you state you’d do it again, you’re inviting our assessment. So, I’ll give you mine. You are justified in thinking it rude and innappropriate for her to speak in a loud voice. You’re method of responding was passive aggressive. You were trying to make a point by making fun of her and imitating her. Better to ask her to lower her voice, and if she does not, live with it, or change seats, if possible.

I don’t know anything about them, but since free speech is allowed, you can counter it with a take-off of a coca cola song. Have the yidden put up a gigantic sign right nearby that says, “TORAH, it’s the REAL thing!” with a similar picture and an address of a local chabad house or the South Fallsburg Yeshiva. Fight fire with fire.

Yitay

Please tell me you’re joking.

Always

Be careful how you state things with such conviction. Just because you follow one daiya does not mean it is the accepted daiya. You’re treading on dangerous ground to be a normal person paskening as though you are a Dayan. You make a blanket statement that goes against what many well known rabbanim advise and follow, and state unequivocally that it is the only opinion that counts. You disregard the opinion of many rabbonim. I respect the opinion you cite as a valid opinion, but not the only opinion.

Guys, enough mussar both ways about the importance of writing with good grammar and the importance of not focusing on good grammar. The writer posted a question he would like answered. We’re all here because we want to help each other. Take it from someone who’s posted several times: the writer waits with bated breath for help. Everyone’s answers are meaningful, whether responded to or followed or not. Just seeing responses on topic can make a person feel better knowing people cared enough to take the time to try to help them, and they are not alone.

It’s not coincidental that of everyone out there, we’ve found and logged on to this website. We all have something important to offer by way of being there through humor and kindness.

Some people welcome change, others fear it. There are a lot of changes that takes place when one gets married (new housemate, residence, community, responsibilities). The combination of so many changes at once can unnerve people. It is normal to be nervous and excited. The fewer changes at once, the better. Try to acclimate yourself to those changes gradually. Realize that it takes time to get settled, and if it includes more major changes like a new job, community, etc it may take longer. Try to view it like an adventure.

Yank

Please tellme you’re joking. Apple or carrot?

You mean pie or cake, right?